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Oh shit look what's back on my "On Repeat" playlist! It's a bop!
It's seriously a bop, Matt went way harder than he should have for a commissioned song about a tumblr blog. We play it every twitch stream to get people ready to do whatever dumb shit we're doing that day.
and before someone notices, he IS the man who sings about poop, pee, states, etc also! Massholes and other fellow locals should check his concert schedule cause his live shows are amazing.
Have you seen Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You! (2012)?
Yes
No
Haven’t even heard of this movie
WHAT Charlotte reference matt farley. he's been a niche in-joke for me for a while. What do you think his deal is
LMAOOO AMAZING. personally i dont think he needs one. i think hes doing just fine
cambridge blessed with the presence of the legendary matt farley
today is a sort of half "new music" post, as i would like to regale you all with a post about the legend that is matt farley and the banger of a show he and his band of friends performed at the world-famous cantab lounge in cambridge, massachusetts on march 21st, 2025.
but will, you ask, who in the world is matt farley? you have heard of him whether you know it or not. he is the man who has written over 25,000 songs, mostly about poop, cities and towns, household items, names, and celebrities. he has also written many "no jokes" songs under band names such as moe's haven, caniko tucci, the big heist, and more. he has also written and directed incredible films such as don't let the riverbeast get you!, local legends, heard she got married, heard she got murdered, slingshot cops, and my personal favorite, monsters, marriage, and murder in manchvegas. he has also written a creativity guide called the motern method which has helped this stalwart writer immensely in recent times.
and so you would think, gee why haven't i heard of matt farley if he's done so much? well, because the world simply doesn't appreciate good art.
in any case, i had the great fortune to farley's show at the cantab. farley spent the pre-show talking with every patron at the bar as he is a man of the people. his band - made up of bassist chris "pete" peterson, guitarist tom scalzo, and drummer doug "froggy" brennan - got to work preparing diligently for the show while farley worked the crowd. (i got the chance to chat with farley a bit, and he informed me that i was in a few shots of his film local legends: bloodbath, which is of course the long-awaited sequel to 2013's local legends.)
anyway, the show began with a bang, as farley and band led the crowd in classics such as "poop into a wormhole", "my goldfish dead", and the moes haven hit "dig in!", as well as a rousing tribute to cambridge which quoted good will hunting, much to the delight of the fans including myself. many of farley's songs have been released under various names on spotify and other streaming services, but this has never deterred his allegiant followers (who, as farley insisted later on in the show, are NOT in a cult.)
perhaps you have seen videos of other very famous bands performing in major stadiums. u2 at the la coliseum on the joshua tree tour when they were dubbed the biggest band in the world. the rolling stones' voodoo lounge. queen at wembley. few four-piece bands these days hold a candle to those titans of yore. and yet farley in his gold jacket had all the star power of bono, mick jagger, and freddie mercury combined, dazzling the crowd with his antics and stories and getting them involved in the show, while the band behind him performed effortlessly with all the expert musicianship of artists who have worked the stage for years.
other songs farley and the band performed touched on the fallibility of the human mind ("i forgot what i was gonna say"), the power of blotting away mistakes and forgiveness ("the bleach song (i use bleach!)"), the constant and merciless passage of time ("used to be a pizza hut"), the forces acting upon this world without our knowledge ("the mothman song (believe in the power of the mothman!)"), and of course, a song about a pickle sandwich (appropriately titled "pickle sandwich".)
the crowd which packed the basement of the cantab remained high energy throughout the two-hour extravaganza of music. but the excitement for this show has been high since farley announced it months before. it was part of a three-night tour across new england (dubbed as farley and band's longest tour ever) with shows in portsmouth new hampshire, cambridge, and the mass college of art in boston. and those showing up to these performances are bringing their a-game, as they love farley's work and are not afraid to show it. i certainly was rocking out to "plow guy hit my garage" (the song that introduced me to farley's work.)
the show ended with rousing renditions of "it's ok to break the law if you have good intentions" and the regular live favorite "i'm in no kind of rush to go home." and after the final song the audience certainly was not rushing out the door; they stuck around to take pictures with farley and the band, peruse the stacked merch table filled with farley's albums, books, and films, and also chat with each other and make new friends. it truly was a night full of fun and friendship, beautiful art, and a celebration of creativity and life itself.
and selfishly, for this writer, it was a fantastic way to kick off a birthday weekend.
anyway, as always, matt farley is releasing new music as we speak. throughout the entirety of 2025, he is putting out a new "no jokes" release each month. so far each release has been under one of farley's different artist names. january's was matt motern manly man's what we wanna remember. february's was brennan mcfarley's february files, a collaboration with doug "froggy" brennan. and march's was caniko tucci's a genre of different wonders. it behooves you to go peruse each release and then the rest of matt farley's works immediately.
so that's all for this post, as i'm still recovering from rocking out so hard, frankly. sometimes i wonder how rockstars such as farley do it. the endurance and creative spirit of the true entertainers of this world know no bounds. goodbye for now
Don't Let The Riverbeast Get You!
Buy a print @ https://gargledmesh.storenvy.com/
The answer involves a remarkable — and lucrative, and ridiculous — scheme to game the way we find music today.
“You have to understand,” he said, apologetically. “I’ve written over 24,000 songs. I wrote 50 songs yesterday.”
And thus was I ushered into the strange universe of Matt Farley.
Freed from the blinding incandescence of my own name, I could suddenly see the extent of what I had stumbled into. It was like the scene in a thriller when the detective first gazes on the wall of a serial killer’s lair. Papa Razzi and the Photogs is only one of about 80 pseudonyms Farley uses to release his music. As the Hungry Food Band, he sings songs about foods. As the Guy Who Sings Songs About Cities & Towns, he sings the atlas. He has 600 songs inviting different-named girls to the prom and 500 that are marriage proposals. He has an album of very specific apologies; albums devoted to sports teams in every city that has a sports team; hundreds of songs about animals, and jobs, and weather, and furniture, and one band that is simply called the Guy Who Sings Your Name Over and Over.
He also has many, many songs about going to the bathroom. If you have a child under 10 with access to the internet, it is very likely you know some part of this body of work. What he refers to collectively as his “poop songs” are mostly released under two names: the Toilet Bowl Cleaners and the Odd Man Who Sings About Poop, Puke and Pee.
“The Odd Man is more shameless,” he explained. “The Toilet Bowl Cleaners are making statements with their albums,” though the distinction between the former’s “Butt Cheeks Butt Cheeks Butt Cheeks!” and the latter’s “I Need a Lot of Toilet Paper to Clean the Poop in My Butt” may be subtler than he imagines.
Largely, though not entirely, on the strength of such songs, Farley has managed to achieve that most elusive of goals: a decent living creating music. In 2008, his search-engine optimization project took in $3,000; four years later, it had grown to $24,000. The introduction of Alexa and her voice-activated sistren opened up the theretofore underserved nontyping market, in particular the kind fond of shouting things like “Poop in my fingernails!” at the computer. “Poop in My Fingernails,” by the Toilet Bowl Cleaners, currently has over 4.4 million streams on Spotify alone. To date, that “band,” and the Odd Man Who Sings About Poop, Puke and Pee, have collectively brought in approximately $469,000 from various platforms. They are by far Farley’s biggest earners, but not the only ones: Papa Razzi and the Photogs has earned $41,000; the Best Birthday Song Band Ever, $38,000; the Guy Who Sings Your Name Over and Over, $80,000. Dozens of others have taken in two, three or four digits: the New Orleans Sports Band, the Chicago Sports Band, the Singing Film Critic, the Great Weather Song Person, the Paranormal Song Warrior, the Motern Media Holiday Singers, who perform 70 versions of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” substituting contemporary foods for figgy pudding. It adds up. Farley quit his day job in 2017.
“People like to criticize the whole streaming thing, but there’s really a lot of pros to it,” he said. Indeed, in 2023, his music earned him just shy of $200,000, about one halfpenny at a time.
Farley’s earnings help fund his multiple other creative endeavors. He records what he calls his “no jokes” music. This includes a two-man band he’s been in since college called Moes Haven, which once recorded an album a day for a year. He hosts two podcasts, one about his work and the other recapping Celtics games. And he makes movies: microbudgeted, determinedly amateur but nevertheless recognizably cinematic features starring himself and his family and friends. (They feature a spectacular array of New England accents.) In most, Farley plays some version of himself, a mild-mannered, eccentric hero projecting varying degrees of menace. Farley and his college friend Charlie Roxburgh are in the midst of a project in which they have resolved to release two full movies per year. The model, Farley said, was inspired by Hallmark Movies: “If this movie stinks, good news, we’re making another in six months!” Their most popular work remains “Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!” (2012), a charmingly shaggy tale of a cryptid threatening a small New England town. It features Farley’s father as a big-game hunter named Ito Hootkins.
Freaky Farley (2007)
Life update: I finally got to witness the legendary Matt Farley (the man responsible for writing 24,000 songs, most of which are about poop, people's names, and other assorted subjects.) He is the genuine article, folks. Also as an added bonus he played his ode to Mothman, which is one of my favorite songs of his as Mothman is my favorite cryptid. The night was a true inspiration!
