#mattys roasts

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roast shaxx

(cracks knuckles)

FIRST OF ALL!! He is large, so big, what the fuk. I know what his race is?? He is a buffalo brought back to life to serve the traveler. Also he is LOUD like okay Shaxx i am also loud.. one of us is gonna have to change. Me in the middle of crucible: Tell me something I don’t know shaxx?? I KNOW THAT BRAVO HAS THE SPARK AND THEY ARE HEADED TO MY RIFT!! Lastly Im pretty sure he’s the one who ticked of Saladin... like okay bud maybe u should go fix it instead of lowkey yellin about it during iron banner smh

Send me an ask with something to roast?

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ROAST ME

Cute glasses?? not in my house wtf (i want them tbh). You’d probably sleep on the floor at disney world. U dont tag things sometimes and it makes me nervous?? Like wtf r u thinkin ill never know cause u dont tag like a banshee. Changed ur icon from Poe Dameron?

Send me an ask with something to roast?

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*chant* roastroastroast

U ride horses and I didnt kno u until like 5 seconds ago?? so um anyways we should have known each other sooner. U take selfies in the school bathroom. defo roast worthy. Also a flannel wearer?? pff whens the last time u swung an axe and chopped wood

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ROAST ME

Pretty sure ur a cryptid (aka mothman) thats not really a roast tho, who doesnt love mothman?? Im coming up short.. wtf OH Ur friends with an australian?? whats with that. Dont their toilets flush the wrong way. yells and makes wierd noises (im essentially roasting myself at the same time because we do the same thing and I love it)

Send me an ask with something to roast??

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roast me

FIRST OF ALL ur already irl Lord Saladin so I cant believe it already. U have the nerve to text me like all the time?? Ur also small, I needed a magnifying glass to find you at the airport, are u shitting me. Super cute?? What the fuk kinda buisness u think u got doin that to me....

Send me an ask with something to roast tbh

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roast me buddy

Too fashionable for your good probably. Aesthetic blog is too much like mine (im kidding smh) Still in highschool too, pff what a loser

Send me an ask with something to roast??

[ecotrans]

roast me

- small?? probably hard to keep track of smh

do u wear flannels a lot?? if u do ur a lumberjack poser. Also sparatic blogging habits??? 

Send me an ask and ill roast you or whatever you send me to roast???