You Would Think A Vampire Would Be A Better Flirt (Max Phillips/*Female*Reader)
A/N: Here it is. The first fanfiction I've ever published and/or posted to a platform. Enjoy!
Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)
Ship: Max Phillips/*Female*Reader
Warnings: Fluff, smut, fluff and smut, friends to idiots to lovers, Max and Pedro are their own warnings
"So... what is it that I'm looking at exactly?", asked Amanda as she sat idly at her desk, the young woman surrounded by the four walls of her small, cozy office that acted as a sort of border between Human Resources and the rest of the floor that was dedicated to Sales. The room was bland at a first glance, a very typical space really, the kind of one someone would be able to find anywhere in the corporate world without evening having to look at all, it would just be there: walls painted a neutral shade of beige with a tad bit of simple white molding, four fluorescent lights mounted into the ceiling to provide proper, optimal lighting, no windows (as to eliminate visual distractions and maintain climate control according to the office security guard, Frank), a plain yet sturdy desk and chair somewhere between being in the center and off to the side of the space, one slightly used, slightly outdated computer, and a few framed photographs of Amanda's friends and family scattered around the space on those otherwise naked walls and atop her rather bare desk by her desktop. Oh, and right in front of her door stood a large chalkboard she recognized as the one from the main conference room, covered in scribbles and lists and what appeared to be charts and graphs she could barely decipher. That wasn't exactly normal to put it simply, not even usual considering the new normal of the office since the shift in management, and neither was the fact that her two coworkers, her fiance Evan and his best friend Tim, stood on either side of the offsetting chalkboard, both men yammering on almost nonsensically about what she could only assume was a subject that was in some way related to their boss. The "Head Vampire" as Tim called him, Max.
"Amanda, I love you, and you got to listen to us! Max was telling us earlier in the break room about other supernatural creatures out there... and I think my dad might be a werewolf! I mean, what if that means I'm a werewolf, or my mom, and what if werewolves try and-", Evan went on rambling before the woman he loved stopped him, holding out a hand for him to halt his words as she pinched the bridge of her nose and simply gave Tim a look that said "Don't start either.", in which he promptly shut his mouth before sound ever escaped past his lips. "Babe... Evan, before we consider the possibility that maybe, maybe your father, a man I've met and spent holidays with several times along with your mom is by any stretch of the word a werewolf, maybe we can consider the option that Max is just saying all of that to fuck with you? I mean yeah, we all know your dad is pretty hairy, and you have a photo on your desk of the three of you in front of their house so... he could have noticed it and just wanted to mess with you knowing how you and Tim have become Ghostbusters lately.", Amanda deadpanned rather nonchalantly as she leaned back into her seat and let her words hopefully sink in for the two. After a few moments it seemed as if they did, thankfully, and Evan's expression was just about turning into one of both realization and anger at his former college rival when, because of course he did, Max passed by the trio and the conspiracy board and did an immediate double take at the sight.
"Um... what's- Hehe, what's happening in here? Hangman... pictionary maybe, because I don't remember it being any special day to slack off, especially for you three.", the sales manager chuckled, his tone the epitome of false amusement that was common of men and women in his seat of power, and even a tiny hint of resentment, but that wasn't necessarily unfounded. Granted, Max had just about every reason to hate Evan, Amanda, Tim, Frank, and just about all of the humans left that worked for him for what had transpired the day the three men had figured out that the new sales manager was, as Tim put it from that day onward, the "Head Vampire" among the coup of undead bloodsuckers that had once been their annoying coworkers. Let's just say that they lost a lot of staff that afternoon, and the cleaning staff worked overtime. "Ah... nothing, Max. Evan and Tim were just about to scrub that board off from the last Phallicite meeting, weren't they?", Amanda quickly answered before either one of her lovable idiots could say something to piss off their employer, and she was beyond relieved to see the lie work as Max relaxed with a shrug of his shoulders and turned to leave back to his office.
You know... for a vampire, Amanda would have guessed Max could sense when there was something approaching or in his way, but it looked as though she was wrong.
"Fu- shit, Y/N, I am so sorry! Fuck, do- do you need any help with that?", Max sputtered out quickly, dare Amanda even say nervously as she observed her boss kneel down to help one of the new hires, Y/N, pick up and hopefully reorganize the stack of papers and files regarding the company accounts that had just recently been landed. "Don't worry, Max, it was an honest mistake.", she smiled, kneeling down with him and giving his shoulder a squeeze of reassurance, and Amanda was once again perplexed when Max froze up. She never thought she'd see the day that Max Phillips was a shy, lost for words pile of goo, but it was happening right inside her office, and it was honestly entertaining.
"Max... you have like a thing for Y/N or something?" Tim asked quizzically of the vampire, only to recieve a cold look from their boss as he realized his own show of weakness after the woman in question had left to her cubicle. "I could still turn you. Or eat you.", was his only response before leaving for his office, but yes. He certainly did.
A/N: Well, I hope you liked this, that's all i can really think of to say!
Tagged: @spacegayofficial
Part 1 of the "Max Phillips: The Average Flirt" Series
