Jan 30, 2024
What's the easiest and most efficient way to get you to shut up?
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What's the easiest and most efficient way to get you to shut up?
hc + 🧼 for a hygiene-themed headcanon
The shampoo Max uses smells like apples. And he'd never use two-in-one.
Why have you dated so many women named Georgina? What's up with that? Many questions here.
"That's a great question, but I'm afraid the answer isn't anything more exciting than 'proximity'," Max answers with a laugh, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm quite posh and, as a consequence, I've gone out with a lot of equally sloaney girls in my time. Several of them just happened to be called Georgina.
"If you think that's funny, remind me to tell you about the two Bunnies I used to go out with - one boy, one girl."
Whats your sexuality?
“Indiscriminate.”
Why are you such a pain in the ass?
“I don’t know, guess it just comes naturally to me,” he answers flatly, “Why’re you such a judgemental twat?”
what does your dream partner look like?
"God, I don't know... fit?" Max replies with a laugh, lifting one shoulder in a lazy shrug, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not especially picky when it comes to sharing my bed. All I'm really looking for from the other person is an enthusiastic 'yes'."
But that isn't strictly true. While Max will (and does) sleep with anyone who'll have him, the question does bring a handful of desirable characteristics to the front of his brain - notably dark, curly hair and eyes like pools of honey.
Who would you like to get to know better in London?
“That’s a broad question. London’s full of people I’d like to get to know better - in fact, I’d argue that’s the main incentive to keep living here,” he pauses then, his smile turning sly as he teases, “Why, were you hoping I’d say someone in particular?”
Have you ever considered getting professional help for your issues?
"Haven't you heard? I've just spent six months in rehab, so I'm cured," Max says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.
Professional help isn't an option for him - at least, not in a way that would actually be beneficial. There were counsellors at the clinic, of course, and enough group therapy circle-jerks to make him feel physically ill, but the only real benefit to going to any of them was to get another tick on his attendance sheet so he could meet the court's requirements and leave.
The problem with therapists is that they usually want to talk about things like childhood, and family, and Max has had a lifetime of conditioning not to discuss either of those topics, in the name of not compromising the gang. He might loathe the entire wretched affair, as well as half the people involved, but he still can't quite bring himself to betray his siblings like that. And that's to say nothing of the fate that might befall the therapist if it got out that he'd told them Jabberwock secrets...
No, it's not worth it. He has other ways to cope.