back on blonde one nicola she told me where you were hiding…. thoughts rn are that it’s saying that robert’s vulnerability in prison was akin to his pre-nicola sexual vulnerability, was a new life so he was unmade, kev then found him like that and made him in there all over again, following the same pattern, stay soft get beaten only natural to haarden up~ hence subsequent distaste for it outside, but while they were inside kev treated robert like nicola treated him so got to know robert like nicola knew him, the secret robert that he’d been hiding since nicola left him hiding it, but he didn’t hide it bc he didn’t enjoy it.. he lived that night with kev for years and he liiiked it, safe in there with him.. he was completely into nicola’s age power foreplay…. it just hardened him to it afterwards, left him needing control and enjoying it.. is what he was made into worse or just different is it more him or less him is there such thing does it matter. he likes being able to shush aaron. it causes external problems but is it a worse thing for him personally or just a different one. or has he not had a decent pint since 2002