BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY — Macklin Celebrini
pairing: childhood bsf!m. celebrini x childhood bsf!reader
genre: some fluff, mostly angst, childhood bsf to lovers to uuhhhhh...... | wc: 3.8k
synopsis: macklin celebrini was the last person you thought you'd lose, but one sudden break-up message later, and he's tilted your world off its axis.
warnings: one usage of an epithet HELP, barely any dialogue till the second half, use of y/n, swearing, one kiss (painfully vague/brief), Angsty with a capital A!!, pretty exposition-y lowk, bittersweet ending, this could either be from last offseason or this offseason - its up to u when u want it to be set, confrontation scene, parents and uncle of reader r mentioned, mention of entire celebrini fam; reader calls charlie (macks younger sister) cutie but not in a weird way, js as a term of endearment
A/N: alas my fave fic !! i hope theres smn out there who enjoys this as much as i loved writing it. this definitely could've been longer, or shorter, and theres smthng abt the pacing im not quite a big fan of, but editing is not my forte, and it's already written so what's done is done. i actually have a lot of fics with similar concepts but i hardly ever end up finishing them. this may be the only one that sees the light of day heh.. anyways, i rlly like how i made the cover (?) !! #graphicdesignismypassion
divider credits: @uzmacchiato
Macklin Celebrini, since the day you were born, was a constant in your life.
Growing up, you did everything together. Until he had to move to the States after his dad landed a job with the Warriors, you hadn’t known what life was like without him. It was like he was part of the package deal of life.
Even when he moved, you kept in touch. Almost daily video calls, text exchanges that dared the time difference to get in between the both of you—with him in California and you back in Vancouver. And it hurt not having him there physically, but it never really felt like he left.
Eventually, you moved to Boston for college, and while you had plenty of other reasons for choosing Boston University, there was no hiding that the main reason was Macklin, because of course it was.
Your families joked about the two of you getting married one day, and as kids you embraced it, but then you became a tween and entered that awkward phase, denying any possibility of ever having romantic feelings for the brown-haired boy.
It wasn't until you were almost 15 that you started to realize you were in love with him.
Your friends started dating, and you decided: why not? You didn't like anyone right now, because you totally didn't harbor any romantic feelings for your best friend, so what’s the harm in trying?
I guess the harm was finding that you’d nitpick every single one of your date’s details, comparing them to Macklin’s.
You had decided to ask Peter, who apparently has liked you for a while, to hang out. Not exactly a date—you decided the wording felt weird—but sort of implied to be one. I mean what else would you call it when it’s just the two of you out?
But you didn't make it very far into the date before you started comparing him to Macklin. You hadn't meant to—it was more…subconscious. Like you couldn't help but compare.
He had a nice smile, but it didn't make you feel what you felt whenever Macklin flashed you his gummy one. His hair didn't annoyingly get in the way of his face like Mack’s, and he just didn't sound alive when he spoke. Not the way Mack does.
He asked you which drink you wanted to get but Macklin would've already known, and while you didn't expect Peter to know everything about you from the get-go, you liked that Mack knew so much about you.
And that’s when you started to question your feelings. Because why was a small detail like not knowing your favorite drink such a big deal to you?
Then you realized—maybe it wasn't about how his hair wasn't “flow-y,” or that he was too robotic, or that his smile wasn't cute enough, or that his eyes weren't as green as Mack’s, or that he didn't know your favorite damn drink. Maybe it’s because he just wasn't Mack.
Your Macklin, whose eyes could rival the most beautiful emerald, who knew your deepest darkest secrets, and shared his with yours. Who argued that he wasn't that sleepy over the phone, even when it sounded like he was five blinks away from knocking out, just so he could hear your voice. Your Macklin, who always stayed yours, even throughout his hockey career, your academics, and the hundreds of miles between you two.
Nobody was surprised you started dating once you moved to Boston. It wasn't a matter of if, it’d always been a matter of when. And it finally happened two months into your college life.
After two full months of hugs that lingered for a little too long (yet never felt long enough), forehead kisses that you both swore meant nothing, laying your heads on each other’s laps, and nights spent that were supposed to be dedicated to studying, but always ended up in you cuddling and saying things that hung in the air long after it’d been said, you finally got together.
It wasn't a formal confession. It wasn't a dramatic, angry one, done under the rain. It was just like any other night—in your dorm, with a forgotten movie in the background, and Macklin beside you. You don't know what was in the air that day, but the tension was thick from the moment he entered your room.
You don't know how you ended up just staring at each other, but you’ll never forget the way he slowly inched closer before asking, “Can I… kiss you?”
You felt so many emotions at once, and couldn't even get a proper reply out before impatiently closing the distance between you. All you could think of was finally. Finally finally finally.
You never wanted to pull away. You never wanted to stop kissing him—you just wanted to freeze the moment and replay it over and over again, but you couldn't.
Now, though, you’re grateful, because you would’ve never gotten to experience all the other precious memories you went on to share with him.
Which is exactly why you didn't understand why this was happening now. How, after everything together, was your relationship in jeopardy?
You were incredibly proud of Mack for getting drafted, and on that night, he promised you he wouldn't let it get in the way of your relationship.
“I can't promise it’ll be easy, but I swear, at the end of the day you’ll still have me. And if you let me, I’ll still have you. I want you to always remember that no matter what I say, I need you.” He spoke with his palm on your cheek, stroking his thumb gently like he wanted you to feel his sincerity.
“Of course, Mackie. You’ll never lose me.”
And yet here you are. Shut out—and you don't have a single clue as to why.
The first season was rough, yes, but you tried to show up for him the best way you could. If you felt like he needed space, you’d give it. And if you felt like the world was on his shoulders and needed someone to carry part of that weight? You didn't hesitate to take it for him.
But now he hardly replies.
You knew that staying at BU would strain the relationship somewhat. But the time difference wasn't crazy, and it wasn't anything new. You’d gone through this before—what would be so different now?
Apparently, everything.
You’d been able to get through the first season, but after that…radio silence.
You couldn't bear to look at your messages, knowing he didn't even bother to open them while you saw pictures of him enjoying his offseason.
Were you the problem? Had he just randomly decided he no longer needs you, and silently bid you farewell?
You felt like absolute shit every day. You barely got any sleep, and when you were supposed to be finishing up essays, you were crying instead.
You knew you’d be facing him eventually, with your Spring break coming up, you’ll be heading back to Vancouver, and so would he. But right now, you couldn't find the strength in you to confront him.
You never really knew what life was like without him, after all. And the idea that he’d just remove himself from it completely crushed you more than you wanted to admit—but everyone around you understood the magnitude of it.
Suddenly, after days of absolutely nothing, you finally get a text. But it’s not like one you were expecting.
loml <3 : Hey y/n. I don't know how to go about this, but idk if we should continue dating. I still love and appreciate u as a friend, but now I’m realizing there’s just some stuff I have to let go of in this career. Ure amazing, but dating just isn't something I can commit to right now. Hope u understand.
And just like that, your entire world shatters.
Who knew it could take just one message for Macklin Celebrini to absolutely destroy you?
You don't reply; you can't find it in you to. You let minutes turn into hours, and hours into days, until suddenly it’s been a week since he’s broken up with you and you’ll be seeing him in person tomorrow.
Great, just absolutely great.
You’ve been running a million scenarios through your head since about two days ago when your sense of time came back and you realized you’ll be back in Vancouver soon. What do you say? What do you do? Do you ignore him, hide from him, yell at him, throw rocks at his face?
Scrap that. You don't know if you’re capable of aggression. Not when you’ve cried your body to exhaustion.
You amplify the pain by rereading your old messages, repeatedly asking yourself where it went wrong, but you never end up finding an answer, so it only makes you feel worse.
You walk by places you used to call your spot, you catch a whiff of someone's perfume that eerily smells like his, his hoodies still hang in your closet, his razor remains on your bathroom table from the last time he visited, and when you turn your TV on, the universe decides it's funny to have his face be the first thing you see.
No matter what you do or where you turn—you are constantly haunted by the ghost of him.
You never felt like you had to be prepared for a day without Macklin, and it’s only now when you realize how much of your life is him.
You only dread your return to Vancouver even more.
You never missed Vancouver’s rain, but now it gave you some comfort, because it felt like nature was reflecting your current emotions. In a way, you felt seen.
But also, still very miserable.
Your puffy eyes don't go unnoticed by your parents, but you refuse to tell them the truth. You tell them it was just school, but nobody buys it. It sounded like you wished it was school, but nobody pushed—they already had a pretty good idea on what the real reason was the moment you lied.
Being back and surrounded by your family who were eager to depuff your eyes felt good, but if BU’s campus was a landmine, Vancouver was worse.
Your room alone was home to many special moments, and it took everything in you not to sob every night as you laid in bed, trying not to remember, but you remember everything.
Like the time he surprised you by visiting after telling you he couldn't make the last flight back and had to wait three more days for another flight.
You’d been sulking in your room the entire day when he came barging in with a wide smile on his face.
“Surprise!” He yelled, giggling when you were speechless.
You jumped up from your bed and almost tackled him with how hard you hugged him.
“I thought you couldn't come until the 16th! Why’d you lie? I hate you,” his giggles only intensified as you tried to act mad, even when your grin was a dead giveaway.
“No you don't. You love me,” before you can reply, he adds—“and I love you too, by the way.”
Now tears are flowing down your face again as your nose begins to clog, and you know that by the time you wake up, your eyes will look exactly like they did when you arrived.
“Y/n?” Your uncle calls from outside your door.
“Yeah? Come in,” he opens it, and you swear you feel the air shift.
“We’ll be…uh…having dinner over at the Celebrini’s tonight,” he says carefully, and the fact that he even has to be careful almost brings you closer to tears than what he actually said.
You sit at your bed looking a little more dumbfounded than you’d like. You knew this would happen eventually, but you’re far from ready.
“Alright, thanks for letting me know,” you flash him a weak smile before he leaves.
You still have no idea what to do when you see him. If the memories are enough to turn you into a sobbing mess, how much more would actually, really seeing him hurt?
You don't know if you want to know the answer to that. But you don't want to be a no-show. You so desperately want to be strong, even if you haven't been.
You dress well, and in the coming hours, try to act like everything is fine, when in reality, you’re still scrambling to think of what to say.
When you're at the door, your heart’s racing so much you’re scared you might actually faint. Sweat pools at your palm, hands shaking so badly you have to have a deathly grip on your jeans to calm them down.
The door swings open and Rick welcomes your family in.
This is it.
You head inside, being the last to actually step in. You’re less concerned with how you currently look and more concerned with keeping yourself alive. Deep breaths, you repeat.
Instantly, memories flood you. First, you’re in the living room. The place you spent an ungodly amount of time in arranging your hockey card binder, watching TV during sleepovers with Mack, Aiden, and Charlie, and just being absolute ratchets, adding onto Rick and Robyn’s troubles.
Now, you don't even know if you still belong.
After this room, you know you’ll be in the dining area, and your heart rate spikes, because you know he’ll be there. Everyone will be there.
You hear plates clunking and RJ’s voice before you’re inside, and one step later, the lighting is brighter, and everyone’s in front of you.
Don’t look at him.
You’ve been repeating that in your head like a mantra since you were on your way, and you’re trying so so hard to keep your eyes on Rick, on the floor—on anything that isn't him—but your eyes betray you.
Looking up from the ground, you bring your eyes to Macklin, and there he is. Looking at you like he was…okay. Like you were the only one affected.
God, you want to cry again.
Before that could happen, you tear your eyes away from him just as Charlie rushes towards you, “y/n! I missed you so much more than Mack!”
Even hearing his name cracks your heart a little, but you return Charlie’s bone-crushing hug, because admittedly, you missed her too.
“Hey cutie, I missed you too,” you squeeze out. It’s either she doesn't know what happened between you and Mack, or she’s just a lot more enthusiastic to see you.
When she lets go and happily takes the seat beside you, you don't look at Macklin for the rest of the night, and you silently thank Charlie for keeping you occupied.
Early on, you pick up that Mack’s parents and Aiden know about what happened. They ask you about how school has been, you give them generic answers, then the conversation moves on. Never anything about you and Mack. You feel like you can make it through the night until RJ and Charlie leave and it’s silent. Tension simmers as you scrape at your plate even when it’s already wiped clean. You almost find a way to escape when your worst nightmare comes true.
“Y/n.”
You still. You haven't actually heard him say your name in a long time.
You feel tears immediately pool, but you blink them away with your head hung low.
“Excuse me.” You get out of your seat, speed walking to the door. You hear one of your relatives call you, but you’re already out.
Unfortunately, another voice follows, and it’s not one you want to hear.
“Y/n!” Macklin calls again but you don't stop walking, hoping he gets the memo and just leaves, but no, he starts jogging.
He catches up in no time, grabbing your wrist. “Can we please talk?”
You don't want to turn, not when you’ve fought all night to keep the tears in, but you do. You do because just as much as it hurts, you need to look at him. To see his eyes, his hair you so desperately wanted to run your fingers through, and his rosacea, so familiar across his face.
Your tears spill immediately, because how could he?
How could this boy you loved so dearly, who you thought loved you too, just do that? Just break up over text, and then still look this fucking good?
It looked like he lost no sleep. Like he hadn't spent a single second worried about you—like he had no tears to waste on you.
“What do you want me to say?” You speak through sobs, and by instinct his hands move up to cup your cheeks but you push him away.
You want to laugh at how stunned he looks.
“I—I don't know? Anything? You left me on read and haven't even spared me a fucking glance—”
“Why the hell would you think I want to look at you right now?” You almost yell, but for the sake of his neighbors, you control your volume.
“Do you really not know how badly your message affected me, Macklin? Can't you see it? You broke up with me over a fucking text and expect me to be A-okay?” he opens his mouth but you beat him to it, “Well guess fucking what. I’m not! I—these past few days I’ve realized… I don't actually know how to be myself without you. And I don't know how to feel about that.”
His grip on your wrist weakens, and you shake your arm out of it, but when he doesn't speak, you keep going. “I love you so much, Mack. So much that I feel like I’ve lost something I was never meant to lose, and I’ve been dealing with that grief ever since. You’re everywhere, and in everything and—and I don't know how I’m just supposed to move on.”
You continue sobbing, swiping tears away but it’s no use. Not when your entire face is basically covered in tears.
He’s silent, and for a while the only sounds are the cicadas, the faint sound of some neighbor’s TV, and your sobs, but then he finally speaks.
“I… I truly didn't think it’d hurt you this much, y/n. I’m so sorry.”
He looks at you expectantly, awaiting your reply, but when it doesn't come, he continues. “There were just times when I felt like I was a burden to you. Like my career wasn't solely affecting me anymore, it was affecting you too. Then… I don't know.
“Somewhere along the line, it became ‘hockey or you?’ and I couldn't sacrifice my career. I just—I just couldn't, y/n. And knowing you, I thought you would read into my mind and see that,” he scrunches his face, “fuck—saying that out loud now just makes me sound really fucking stupid.”
“Yeah, cause you are,” he smiles at that, whispering ‘I know’ in reply.
“I really just can't believe how stupid I was being. I didn't think it through at all and I can't apologize enough for putting you through that. You didn’t deserve the way I handled it. Not even close.”
He sighs, opening his mouth then closing it, hesitating over and over before finally saying it.
“Can… can we start again?” his voice wavers, “I know I fucked up. Like, really fucking badly, and while I can't promise I won't make more mistakes, I promise you I won't make another detrimental decision without even thinking it through.”
You almost smile, but fragments of the broken promise he made flash through your mind.
I can't promise it’ll be easy, but I swear, at the end of the day you’ll still have me.
But for days, you didn't.
You sigh and look away; the weight his gaze carried was becoming unbearable.
“You know, I think I’m really starting to see what the past few weeks have taught me,” you furrow your brows, still looking for the right words to use, “and it’s that…if I don't have an identity without you, can I go back to living with you pretending like I do?”
Mack takes the time to let your words fully sink.
“I love you, Mack. But I don’t think I can jump straight back into this when I still have shit to sort,” he nods, and you let your hands find his, “and to be honest, I think you still have shit to sort too.”
He chuckles, “Oh yeah, I know. No normal person just breaks up with the love of their life on a random ass Tuesday afternoon.”
That gets a laugh out of you as you shake your head, “It’s not just that. You shouldn't feel guilty for sharing your burdens—especially with me. Stop trusting everything your brain tells you, because I love being there for you. I love showing up and being the place where you feel safe enough to show weakness.”
He just stares at you for a while, a little speechless, but then he pulls you into a hug. “I love you so fucking much.” Then he pulls away, looking at you like he could say a million things, but opts to kiss your nose instead.
“This isn't me trying to rush you back into dating me. I think you’re incredibly right and we need some time away from each other to work through our own problems, but I really am just insanely in love with you, and there's no one else I’d rather spend my life with.”
At this point, your tears have already dried up, and are no longer coming in. If any do, then they’re far from being sad tears.
You know that for a while it won't be the same, but you also know something that will—no matter how much changes between the both of you—and that’s your love. So you don't hesitate to reply with, “I, too, am insanely in love with you, Macklin Celebrini.”
He hugs you again and presses a kiss to the top of your head before insisting on walking you back home.
Neither of you spoke during the walk back, but you appreciated the silence. He respected where you two were currently at, instead of trying to force the relationship to go back immediately to the way it was.
Once you make it, he stays at the sidewalk while you go up the porch. Turning back around, you see him looking at you with that smile on his face—the one you used to build your whole world around, and you couldn't help but smile too, because this is the boy you’ve known and loved your whole life—but something was different now.
Macklin Celebrini, since the day you were born, was a constant in your life.
But now, for the first time…he wasn't the only thing that defined it.
© 2026 maudestyy
