1. " a pink frosted donut? what are you, six? "
2. " nothing fixes bad times like good food. "
3. " what other people think of me is none of my business. "
4. " yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more! "
5. " start with the letter n. the letter o. period. "
6. " the best revenge is to just do better. "
7. " oh, i'm very normal. i've had everything normal happen to me. "
8. " i aim to misbehave. "
9. " it's easy to bond over hating something together. "
10. " this will either be fun or terrible. "
11. " i'm always right. except when i'm wrong. which is often. "
12. " don't come back without cake. "
13. " everyone in the world is having sex right now. except for us. "
14. " so, how much trouble are we in? "
15. " don't give up. not ever. not for a single day. "
16. " i'm probably fine, but i also might be dead. "
17. " my body is about seventy-five percent caffeine. "
18. " everyone wants to be us. "
19. " are you trying to call me pretty? "
20. " when you speak my brain gets angry. "
21. " do i regret it? yes. would i do it again? probably. "
22. " please just leave me alone. "
23. " i'm so cute! look how cute i am! "
24. " i wanna hug you and slap you at the same time. "
25. " do you want me to pinky swear? "
26. " i was so worried, i ate a whole cake! "
27. " were you dropped on your head as a child or were you just born stupid? "
28. " don't believe everything you hear, unless it's really good. then it's true. "
29. " time can heal a broken heart, just like time can heal his broken arms and legs. "
30. " that is a hell of a thing for you to say to me! "
31. " don't hate me for this, okay? "
32. " mister, you don't know who you're dealing with. "
33. " try not giving a fuck. there's a lot of power in that. "
34. " i'm sorry, is that a flirtation? "
35. " you don't win friends with salad. "
36. " this is who i am. if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself. "
37. " who cares? i'm awesome. "
38. " you're only allowed to bring one stuffed animal?! "
39. " i need money for real stuff. like candy. "
40. " i'm pretty impressed, but... not that impressed. "
41. " your tone seems very pointed right now. "
42. " my good looks are ruining people's lives! "
43. " i'm not scared. i've already lived longer than expected. "
44. " don't go around pretending that's a word everybody knows. "
45. " a hug can turn your whole day around! "
46. " i excel at not giving a shit. "
47. " i have dreams. and sometimes, in those dreams... bad things happen to you. "
48. " i can't sleep in my room. i saw a spider in there! "
49. " i'm in the mood for chaos. "
50. " who's not for chocolate? everybody at least tolerates it. "
51. " i will either find a way or make one. "
52. " hey, my mom says i'm cool! "
53. " a person who envies me is a person who needs help. "
54. " oh, it's okay. i guess i wasn't meant to have a good life. "
55. " you don't love people with hopes of a reward. you just love them. "
56. " i believe 'being an ass' is the technical term for that. "
57. " oh, i wish i could be a cat. "
58. " i have way too many things to do today! go home, get food, finish my book..."
59. " i'm gonna eat all the cake on earth! "
60. " i know what true love feels like... and i wish i didn't. "
61. " i'm hilarious, beautiful, talented, and humble. "
62. " if you pay me, i'll be there. "
63. " lets give a big, warm welcome to sadness. "
64. " someone's gonna end up crying. probably me. "
65. " i like weird. no, i love weird! i bask in the glow of weird! "
66. " pretending to be polite is so exhausting. "
67. " hm, this is a problem. have you considered running away from it? "
68. " would you be terribly upset if i threw up in one of your shoes? "
69. " the party lasted all night... and honestly, i can't remember most of it. "
70. " i have done nothing all day except eat chips and stare off into space. what is my life? "
