MEAN! | Max Verstappen x Reader
Materlist | One-Shot
Dedicated to anyone that finds themselves in a toxic relationship. Yours and Max's relationship had always been as strong as his performance on track over the past 2 years but the frustrations from this season are taken out on you. | This is not a personal attack on Max, I just felt like he would work for this one-shot. | toxic relationship, verbal & emotional abuse, drinking | 6.2k words | edited (ish)
Based off - MEAN! by Madeline The Person
The past two seasons had been filled with successes. Race wins week in, week out with a world title at the end of it all. Max was living the dream life with you buy his side. All you’d ever known from the past two seasons was winning, a relatively calm and content Max, and the positivity from the track translating into your personal life together.
This season was different, it wasn’t a podium every week, with three other teams around to challenge the red bull team, more specifically Max. Frustration was clear within the team, a change in the atmosphere being notable. There were always good days and bad days throughout the season but recently the bad days were starting to outweigh the good.
Just like you were there to celebrate the good days, you stood by Max’s side consoling him on the bad days. Whenever he won a race you were the first person he ran too, sharing the love and excitement but whenever it was a bad day you where the one who got the brunt of the frustration.
Today was one of those bad days, sat in Max’s driver room as the race highlights play on the TV. Watching Max’s car get tagged by an Aston Martin on the opening lap, the damage dampening the speed of the car for the remained of the race, taking the chequered flag in 7th with a few points. Voices outside of the room diverted your attention from the screen to the door, watching as Max silently walks in, head down, not saying a word.
You didn’t say a word either. Normally his father would be here on race weekends, the two talking to each other rapidly in Dutch, every conversation looking tense to the point where you would just weight outside. This race weekend you were the only one there supporting Max, not knowing what to say at the unfamiliar situation.
The silence between you was never awkward but, in this moment, it was, the atmosphere tense as Max busied himself searching for his clothes. Eventually the silence became too much, his name lightly falling from your lips to test the waters. A harsh “Don’t” was the only verbal response you got, with him turning his back to you, searching through his draws more aggressively. A slam of the draw was an indication of his still present frustration, the little things winding him up.
Staying silent you stand to help him find the clean underwear he was searching for, as you stood Max moved backwards, the two of you bumped into each other in the small space. Just as you mumble out an apology, Max is turning to face you with a burning anger in his eyes. “Leave, just fucking leave.” The harsh words catch you off guard, rendering you speechless as you look up at him with wide eyes.
As much as he wanted silence earlier, your silence and lack of movment now only seems to anger him more with his emotions spiralling. “Get out of my space, I don’t want you here. Your just in the way all the time.” You’d heard him this angry before, not being able to tune out the shouts him and his father exchanged after races but you’d never been on the receiving end.
When you first started coming to races to support Max, you’d always hide yourself away in a corner of the garage, wanting to stay out the way with that your biggest fear. Never wanting to take too much space until Max promised you, that you’d never be in the way and that he invited you to the races to be there by his side for the good and bad. Now two years on he stood looking down on you as he said you take too much space.
With that you were taking a step back, giving him that space the movment going against your instinct to hold him close. “You need to calm down Max”, it wasn’t the best thing for you to say but in the situation, there was nothing else to say and maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. The space you had previously put between the two of you was reduced to half an inch from your face as Max stepped towards you, getting in your face.
“How the fuck do you expect me to be calm. It’s fucked, everything is fucked and going wrong. I’m racing against dickheads who can’t drive in a car that even without damage is as slow as half functioning F2 car. I finish a shit race and I come up here to your pitty looks, saying ‘it’s okay and it’s not your fault’ when all I want is some fucking peace and quiet. But I can’t because you’re here, when I don’t want you to be.” And he meant it, every word as you felt the heat coming off of him.
His outburst left you with tears starting to form, and the worst part was there was no look of regret in his eyes, only the anger still there simmering. This time Max took a step back, giving you some room to breathe as he turns to grab his phone. Avoiding his figure, you grab out a set of new underwear from the draw, placing it on top of the counter before leaving the room giving him the space he wanted so much.
The shouts from earlier turned to silence as you waited downstairs in the team hospitality, sun glasses on inside to hide the tears that had spilled over. Watching the team staff pack up, offering polite smiles as familiar faces said goodbye. The 40 minutes you where sat their waiting were filled with your mind replaying every detail of what had just happened, not recognising the man who had stood before you shouting at you.
You could hear that same voice exchanging words with Christian as the two walked side by side down the stairs, coming at a stop next to the table you where sat. Christian offered his best wishes as they said their goodbyes, extending them to you with a smile as well. From there you stood, walking towards the door that opened out to the paddock, quite a few guests and team members still hanging around. As the two of you walked out the door Max grabbed your hand, giving you a smile. How you wished it was a real smile, with his hand feeling cold in yours as a façade was put up for the public eye, pretending nothing was wrong.
Your sunglasses stayed on despite the grey clouds covering the sky above, avoiding eye contact with Max at any cost, which wasn’t hard as he stayed focused on the exit route. The two-seater sports car didn’t leave much space between the two of you, with you starting to wish you’d just gotten a taxi and left earlier. It was never like this with the two of you, he was never like this. With you at least.
Over the course of your 2-year relationship there had been arguments and disagreements like any couple but it never got to the point of shouting, with it being Max who apologised first majority of the time. It was no secret that Max had that harsher side to him, but it’s a side you’d never seen or had directed at you, leaving you confused at where you now stood. It couldn’t be left like this, the small car making the emotions even more prevalent.
“I’m sorry.” It was you to apologies first in this argument, even though in reality you had nothing to apologies for. “I just wanted to be there to check on you, I know how stressful the season has been re-“ your explanation was shot down in seconds, kicking you right out of your own sentence. “Just stop talking. It’s done now. We move on from it.” Max left no room for argument with his statement, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
If this whole afternoon hadn’t shocked you so much, you might have argued back earlier or not let the situation be brushed off so easily. But alas here you where, reverting back to an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the car ride and walk to the hotel room, Max shutting himself away in the bathroom once you’d arrived back. The night was going to be a shit one, you knew that but the contact currently calling Max’s phone made your stomach drop.
The phone rang off eventually, with Max emerging from the bathroom a few minutes later drying his hair. The distance and silence remained between the two of you as you remained on your phone in bed, whilst Max found any little thing to do on the other side of the room. Eventually his phone rang again, Max looking up at you for the first time this evening, silently asking who it was “It’s Jos.” For a moment he is stood there contemplating wether to answer the call or not, deciding to answer at as he crosses the room.
It was a downward spiral from that point on, hearing one side of the heated discussion between the father son duo. Max’s levels of frustration spiking again, and just like you would do when the two argued in person you gave them space, moving to the balcony. You don’t know how long their conversation, well argument, went on before the sliding doors where being opened as Max stepped out into the cold air of the night.
“I’m sorry.” There was the apology you were waiting for, his voice coming out almost defeated as he leaned on the balcony railing next to you, shoulders brushing. You didn’t say anything in response at first, not knowing what to say for the tenth time today, the silence allowing Max to carry on. “I took my frustration out on you and I shouldn’t have. It all got to me today and I just wanted to get away from all the questions and judgment, seeing you pitty me just made it hurt more. It’s gone to shit and I took it out on you.”
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, deep down it wasn’t but it was a one-off explosion of a build-up of emotion and you’d both learn and grow from it. “I should have communicated with you better about wanting some space.” He meant it, that much was clear from his voice and dejected deminer. “I may need space sometimes but I do want you there by my side, always. You make the race weekend a little bit better.” “Only a little bit? I’m glad you’re being honest.” “Shush, you know what I mean.” Leaning your head onto his shoulder, moving closer to each other and just like that you were back to normal.
It wasn’t a one off. Max had told you that night that he wanted you there at the races and he did the following race when he won, the two of you celebrating together that night. The race after that was like de ja vu, with his anger and frustration taken out on you, with the same words thrown about saying how he doesn’t want you there. It was another kiss and make up situation. The next race weekend you were right back at his side, being the first one he ran to after finishing first.
“I’m happy for you.” Those where the words that come out of Daniel’s mouth as you stood chatting with him and Max in the Red Bull hospitality. The Aussie was referencing the loving look you and Max had shared throughout the whole weekend, smiling at the sight of his friends all loved up. It was a good week, with another race win. That was the tell tail sign of a good week ahead, the tone and vibe of the relationship mirroring the result of the race. Your relationship depending on his race results.
This season was up and down and as a result yours and Max’s relationship had never been so rocky, waiting till the checkered flag on a Sunday to know whether it was going to be a good week. It was becoming draining, being told you where his whole world one week to being pushed out and blamed for everything bad the next. It took 7 races over 3 months for you to recognise the pattern, to note the similarities of this situation and the one between you and your ex all those years ago.
Some days Max wanted nothing apart from you at his side and others he acted like you where the reason for everything going wrong in his life, putting on a fake smile for everyone outside of the relationship. Right now he had a smile on his face with his hand taking yours as you hold a conversation with Lando out in the paddock, discussing the plans to go out clubbing in a few hours. Parting ways from Lando left you to join Max in his driver’s room, holding hope that despite the disappointing race he would be okay, that you’d be okay. But the smile he had earlier was clearly fake as he dropped your hand telling you to wait outside for him, it was going to be one of those nights.
As Max finishes sorting himself out he meet you in the hospitality foyer, where you say to him that you’ll stay in tonight, not wanting to deal with him when he is like this, the situation becoming draining week in week out. The familiar emotion of anger sparked in his eyes at your announcement, “Why?” the question was laced with a sense of challenge, wanting to know why you wouldn’t want to go out with him tonight.
“Because after a race like today all you ever say is you want me to give you some space. So, I’m giving you that space by staying home.” His stare was like you had just made up an excuse which was in no way true. “Stop being dramatic, I only wanted some time to calm down. You don’t need to make it out like I hate you after a race.”
There goes your years of progress, you were always the dramatic one, made everything into a problem whenever you brought up the truth or an issue. It had taken you years to not feel as if you where the issue all the time, and you had been open with Max about that. The past three months your emotions had been up and down, with everything becoming your fault to the point there was no winning the arguments, with your points just making things worse. Drained and defeated, you let out a sigh “I’ll come out.”, you didn’t bother apologising this time, just agreeing to keep the peace.
A couple of hours later you’re embracing the girls, Lando and Daniel included, in the club as Max says his hellos to everyone. You’d walked into the club but the second you meet up with the rest of the group the two of you went your separate ways, both heading to opposite ends of the bar. With Kika at your side the two of you stood ordering a martini each, with the addition of two tequila shots each. If you and Max being at opposite ends of the bar wasn’t enough to raise suspicion from her, the shots were, tequila being your known kryptonite. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I’m just being dramatic.”
The night got very messy, very quickly. 3 martinis and 5 tequila shots, all paid for on Max’s card out of spite, had left you the most relaxed you’d felt in months, letting lose on the dance floor. All eyes were on you, most pointily Max’s as he watched you from the booth where he sat with Daniel and Lando. On the dance floor you where the centre of attention dancing freely with no care in the world as Kika cheered you on loudly, a little circle forming to give you space.
You remained the centre of attention as you locked eyes with Max, that glint in his eyes you’d come to recognise over the past few months present. In his eyes this was probably you being dramatic and petty, maybe you were being that but you were too drunk and fed up to care. In this moment you were taking too much space, too much of the lime light, you were too much in his eyes.
That thought was confirmed as he walked away from the booth towards you, joining you out on the dance floor as everyone cheered. Max didn’t dance, he never did, pulling you to his chest and bobbing along to the music lightly which in turn calmed your movments down. Next thing you know you can feel his breath on your neck as he whispers for you to rain it in, in his words you where embarrassing both yourself and him. As he said those words, for the first time you knew what he meant when he said it.
Too anyone watching the two of you it looked like you were sharing a moment, with his hands all over you and whispers in your ear but in reality, his words had sobered you. Maybe you had gone too far tonight, once again it was your fault, feeling as though you had ruined the night. The alcohol left you defenceless to the tears that had been brewing for months, crying out a barely audible “I’m sorry.” into his chest. Letting words tumble out of your mouth in an uncontrollable rant of apology and blame on yourself for ruining the night.
In the morning you knew you’d be embarrassed at yourself for crying, if you remembered, but what was even more embarrassing was Max’s lack of response at your tears, with him just looking down at you with no expression on his face. Kika was the one to comfort you, stroking your back as she pulled you away from Max and the crowd to calm you down. With you continuing to apologise for ruining the night and being an embarrassing mess, being shot down by the Portuguese girl as she promises you that you weren’t an embarrassment, calling you a good night out and even better person.
Dividing and concerning Kika sent Pierre to look for Max as she helped you put yourself back together, with your oh so loving boyfriend arriving at your side a few minutes later. It was loud in the club and you were still pretty out of it but you were pretty sure the word embarrassing came from Max’s lips as he stood over you, looking down as you stayed sat on the floor. In fear of further embarrassment, no more tears escaped, focusing on your breathing as Kika seemed to give Max a piece of her, and your, mind.
The next thing you properly remember is the silence of the uber ride back to the hotel, slowly coming to your senses more with each passing minute. Knowing that now probably wasn’t the best time to talk with Max didn’t stop you from opening your mouth, only for Max to silence you again. “No let me talk Max.” Your mind was sober enough to have everything you want to say thought out and you were still drunk enough to have the liquid courage, with Max being more than done with the night he excepted silent defeat as he let you talk.
“The past months have been a shit show, not just on track either. All of a sudden everything bad in your life is my fault, you think I’m clingy and embarrassing and you never want me around. Until you do. It’s I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you, yada yada yada. You take it out on me and I get that I do, your loved ones are always the ones who get the brunt of a bad day but it’s all on me and it’s draining me. I love you Max and I hate seeing you like this because this isn’t the sweet boy I know. This seasons changing you.”
At first you thought he wasn’t listening, as his eyes remained closed as you let everything out, you needed him to listen and try to understand. You had more to say but you knew you needed privacy, holding your tongue until you reach the hotel elevator. “Max when we first started dating you told me your biggest fear was to become like your father. You told me that the one thing you liked about yourself is that you where nothing like him and never would be. And I know you’re not him but your letting the frustration and anger get to yo-“
He was definitely listening now; you’d hit the most sensitive spot you could have. “I swear to fucking God, shut your mouth right now. How dare you compare me to him like that. I told you that in confidence and you’re throwing it back in my face, all because I’m getting a frustrated at the season.” The two of you were now inches away from each other’s face, you’d been in this position before, except it would be a look of love you shared before retreating to your room like giddy teenagers. This time the inches between you were filled with anger.
“I’m telling you the truth as I watch you lose yourself. You told me I could talk to you about anything and I told you the same, so I’m telling you to get your head straight before you lose yourself and me. If it is more than the season going wrong tell me so I can try and help rather than shouting at me and blaming me.” You were finally arguing back. “How you fell when Jos shouts at you and blames you is how you’re making me feel.”
It was a harsh blow but you’d hope that it would get through to him. “Then why do you stick around, if I’m so shit to you? Huh? You stick around because your someone who loves how it sounds when they speak. You love this life and the attention too much to leave, that’s what it looked like tonight and maybe that’s why your always in my space. Because whilst this is the shittiest season to date you smile away like nothing’s wrong just happy to be there.”
Somehow the conversation was back on you, it being your fault again, you’d heard those words before from so called fans and they’d hurt you but now coming from the man you loved, the one who re-assured you he never thought that of you, they felt like shot after shot. A new stream of tears ran down your cheeks as you watched him walk out the elevator, as you stayed stood still.
Max stood pounding at the hotel room door trying to get the stupid key card to work as you walked up next to him slowly, barley being able to see through the tears. “You’re not telling the truth.”
“No?”
“You’re just being mean.” It felt childish saying but it was the truth, Max knew every single insecurity you had and he was throwing it back in your face, shot after shot. The door to the room finally opened as you both walked in silently, both getting changed out of your clubbing clothes with Max being the first to get into bed whilst you took extra time wiping the mascara tear stains from your skin. Your time alone in the bathroom left your mind to start making excuses for the words you’d just exchanged, your mind automatically going on the defensive for Max.
He only said that to you because of what you said to him about his father, maybe you had been enjoying the spot light too much. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said about you being like your dad. I was just frustrated about the past few weeks.” Max didn’t look up from his phone, leaving you disappointed with the only bit of hope being that he opened up the covers for you to get into bed with him. “I guess you could say you were just being mean.” His comment came with a giggle, with Max seeming to try and make light of the situation, a fake half laugh escaping your lips as the light goes out.
It had been 3 days since your argument, with the both of you back in Monaco the atmosphere between you both had been relatively normal. The argument didn’t carry over rather just got pushed to the back of both of your minds as you got on with your day to day lives, part of that being attending a group dinner later that night. The first sign that something was different between the two of you was Max’s reaction to your dress of choice for the dinner, his eyes giving you the once over with a judgmental hint there. “It’s just dinner, why do you need your boobs out.”
His comment made your eyes snap to his through the reflection of the mirror, normally before a night out it’d be a fight to get out of the door on time as his hands remained all over you, specifically appreciating your boobs but right now it was looking like a fight to get out of the door for other reasons. “What’s wrong with the dress? You’ve always said you love me in it.”
“It’s too much. Just change quickly.” In want of a nice night out with friends, you bit your tongue at his comment, unzipping yourself from the dress and letting it drop to the floor right in front of him before walking into your shared room to pick out another dress. Walking back out to join Max, you sported a new plain black high neckline dress, a more low-key dress for the dinner. Max didn’t say anything at the change of outfit, with you taking that as an it’ll do, the two of you walking to the restaurant as it was only a few minutes down the road.
It was a nice atmosphere in the private dining area, with everyone happy to see each other settling down for the meal. The order for the first round of drinks were put in, sharing a bottle of wine to start off with, conversations flowing with you focus staying on the two girls sat opposite you before the food arrived. As everyone tucked in one of Max’s friends called your name, asking you about how stressed Max actually was over the season.
It was an innocent question but it put you in a difficult spot, trying to word it in a way that would upset Max the least. Just as you went to answer Max had spoken for you, expressing his frustrations but it would get better hopefully. His friends’ eyes snap to you, wanting your answer as they had asked for but you just agreed with what Max had said. The conversation continued and moved away from the topic of racing to water sports to wine tasting, the wine tasting conversation arising as the next round of wine bottles arrive at the table.
Max’s friends had always been welcoming, this time extending an invite to go wine tasting with them next weekend, the idea bringing a smile to your face as you go to agree only to be cut off as Max reminds you it’s a race weekend. “Oh.” His comment was enough to dampened the idea but it didn’t throw the others off as they said to him how he could let go of you for one weekend. “I like having her by my side at a race, especially this season.”
Normally you’d always put being with Max ahead of any other invite but as of recently most things seemed better than going to a race, more specifically better than dealing with the aftermath of a bad race. “You’ll be okay for one race. It’ll give you some space, it’ll be nice for me to go out with them.” Thank God you were in public right now, if you weren’t your argument would have been shot down and ripped to shreds. A fire in his eyes as he grunts out an agreement. He was the definition of hot and cold, asking for space then complaining when you weren’t by his side.
As you talked about the wine tasting with excitement Max turned rather cold, giving you enough signs to know he wasn’t happy but not enough to raise suspicion amongst the group. His hand on your thigh in a tighter than normal grip as you reach across the table to top your wine glass up, his other hand coming to take the bottle from your hand and instead of filling your glass up he moved the bottle down the other end of the table. “I think that’s enough wine for you tonight.” You’d had one glass, your stare hardened as your eyes settled on him, “We wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself again.”
If the rest of the group didn’t notice the tension between the two of you, they did now. The two of you focused on only each other in a mini staring competition, the comment could have been passed of as a joke but the deeper meaning behind it made it anything but funny to you. You where the first to break the gaze as you excused yourself for some fresh air, going outside just to cry, not wanting to cry in front of anyone there, not wanting Max to know how much it hurt you.
Only a few tears escaped as you fought to pull yourself together under the night sky, mumbling to yourself about how thus was a stupid thing to cry over, working up your courage to head back inside. Re-joining the group no one mentioned anything, carrying on like normal which you where thankful for. As you turned to look at Max he had this look in his eyes like he won, knowing from your reaction he had won this argument, had embarrassed you enough for you not to mention anything else for the rest of the night.
Dessert arrives as you eat it silently, avoiding eye contact with everyone on the table, listening to the light chatter as you feel someone nudge your leg from under the table. Looking up to find Maddie, one of Max’s friends’ girlfriends, looking at you with sympathetic eyes as she announces she’s going to the toilet, hinting for you to join her. As you get up to join her, a few eyes glance your way but not Max’s, as you arrive in the toilets, you’re the only two there with Maddie asking if your okay, and that’s all it took for the tears to start again.
You tell her everything, right from the start of the season through to a few minutes ago, explaining how things had changed and not a good change. As you work through telling the story you profusely apologies for the tears, stating that you where probably being dramatic anyway with a fake laugh. “Why are you apologising for how you feel. Its clear things have changed and as much as you love him you can’t let him make you feel this way, you can’t let him do this to you.”
She was right and the saddest think was that you weren’t surprised he had done this, you knew by speaking up the other night he would be annoyed but it had now turned to him not caring about your emotions at all. You opening up and just made him shut you out more. He cared less the more damage he did. It hurt to accept the fact that this wasn’t a healthy relationship anymore, he didn’t care for your tears or how you felt, you where just there for him, using you selfishly.
Max had his issues like anyone did and you knew he always tried to work through them and you where glad he was working through all his issues but he wasn’t doing it in a healthy way. Projecting on you would never be the way for him to fix himself and that’s exactly what you told him the morning following the group dinner. It was attempt number two at getting through to him in hopes that he would take it onboard and that they could work through this together.
Max sat silently at the breakfast bar as he took in everything you had just said to him, the silence gave you a glimmer of hope as for the first time he properly thought about everything. But it was the same story of it was your fault, Max dismissing you pouring your heart out as you overthinking everything and being dramatic about the situation. There it was again, him telling you that you take too much space.
This time you refused to cry despite not being able to shake how much it stung. You were going to give him that space, walking back into your shared room for the last time to collect the bags you had pre-packed. Max was on his feet the moment he saw you walk towards the doors with bags in your hands, calling out your name as he followed you down the hallway. They weren’t call to ask her to stay and sort things out, they where shouts stating how dramatic she was being, that she couldn’t walk away from him, from this lifestyle. There wasn’t a shout of I love you, just bitterness and blame.
You’d gotten yourself out of that situation, sitting on the sofa at Maddie’s house as the gravity of what you had just done hit you. Losing track of how long you had been crying as Maddie stroked your hair, offering you comfort as you let it all out. “I know it hurts right now but you’ve done the right thing. No one should ever make you feel like he did. He has his own problems but he can’t take that out on you, it was becoming toxic.”
There was a feeling of guilt that sat inside you, for leaving him like this but you couldn’t stay and lose yourself just to be a verbal punching bag.
A few months pass since everything unfolded and you were starting to feel like yourself again, you had your own life which you didn’t realise you never had whilst with him. Maddie had helped you get back on your feet, whilst you stayed in contact with Kika as word made its way around your friendship group and the paddock of you and Max going your separate ways.
You hadn’t seen each other since then, the first time you saw his eyes again was on a night out as the two of you ended up at the bar next to each other. With wide eyes you realise who your stood next too and it’s too late to walk away as his bright blue yes focus on only you. “I’m sorry.”
Those words didn’t come from you for once as, your eyes widen further, if possible, at what he had just said. “I really am sorry for everything and how I treated you towards the end. I didn’t realise until you weren’t there how much I took everything out on you. You deserved so much better than that and I’m sorry I didn’t treat you like you should have been. Everything I said about you being dramatic was wrong, I was trying to push the truth to the side. I complained about you not giving my space but yet always forced you to be at my side just for me to complain. My head was all over the place and it wasn’t me.” You still said nothing as you processed everything he said, if he had said all this months ago when you first confronted him then the chances are you’d be together and stronger than ever.
“I miss you and I want to work this out, I’ll carry on changing for the better, for you.”
“I can’t do it again Max.” It hurt to say but it was the truth, Max’s facing falling with the hope he had built up as he told you everything he had been thinking over the past few months. “I truly appreciate the apology but I can’t go back there. I know how much you care about racing and how much you want to be the best but it changes you, it changed me. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but it was the best thing I could have done for myself. You where my whole life when I was with you and now, I have my own life, my own things to do outside of being with you. I’ve changed, I’m not the person for you and you’re not the person for me. Someone else is. So, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best but there’s no second chance for us.”
I can't work out whether this hits the spot or misses it.
It's rough but I know friends who have gone through similar relationships and I can only hope this shows a little bit of their experience and that you can't lose yourself for someone else.
On a lighter note, I'm open to other song suggestions for on-shots x
