#meena's thoughts

[meenawrites]

Seo Yul Deep Dive - Part 1

Well, since my class ended early and I have 20 min to kill, why not.

SO Seo Yul.

First off, I think he's a fantastic second male lead, specifically because he's more complex than just being a secondary love interest to bring drama to the main couple. He's not at all, in fact he's the opposite of that.

Seo Yul is everything all the adults wanted Jang Uk to be in terms of obedience, principles, and morals. He is upright with a strict moral compass, obedient to his elders, and is prone to agonizing over what the right thing to do is, especially once Naksu enters the picture.

He is the foil against which Jang Uk is being measured.

It would have been quite easy and probably acceptable to just make him one dimensional and have him be there mainly to pursue Naksu and be another obstacle in the way of our main couple, but they didn't do that AT ALL! And I'm glad they didn't. In fact, Seo Yul is one of Jang Uk's dearest friends and he cares about him a lot and vice versa continuously throughout the run of the show.

Seo Yul's love for Naksu, or lingering love from his romanticized memories of his time in Danhyangeok serve to further Seo Yul's own character development as well as highlight just why Jang Uk is actually a better romantic partner for Naksu.

The way they love her is very different. I'm not trying to discount Seo Yul's love for Naksu in any way, I think he definitely does and did love her, but he is someone who is incredibly committed to his principles and to following the rules; it's just how he's constructed himself across his life. So Naksu's very existence throws him completely off balance. On the one hand, he's so glad the girl he once loved and thought would never see again is alive. On the other hand, everything he's been taught and everything he believes in is screaming at him to kill her, that her existence as a soul shifter is not right and cannot be allowed to continue. Yet she is also giving his best friend, Jang Uk, everything he's ever wanted–she is making him HAPPY. So Seo Yul is just kind of going back and forth in his agony over what to do. He feels a great sense of responsibility because he believed he was the only one who knew her identity for a while, and he's generally relied on by the adults in his life like Park Jin and Heo Yeom to kind of be their sword and do the right thing.

Jang Uk on the other hand (as I've seen described in a post somewhere) is more loyal to people than he is to principles, whereas Seo Yul leans a bit more towards the opposite.

So for Jang Uk, he's willing to bend his morals or defy what everyone around him says is wrong out of loyalty to the people he cares about, and Naksu quickly becomes one of those people to him. Like she tells him, everyone has always wanted her dead; no one has ever actually attempted to save her. And I think that strikes deep into Jang Uk's heart and he makes a decision very early on that he will be the one to protect her, and he accepts any collateral damage that comes with it.

Where Seo Yul is sitting and agonizing over the principle of Naksu's existence, all Jang Uk is thinking is how he's going to protect her and keep her by his side. There's no question in his mind, no moral quandary about it. He is as loyal to her as he is to Seo Yul or Park Danggu, or Maidservant Kim–some of the most important people in his life.

In essence, Jang Uk is the type of male lead who would let the world burn for the person he loves while Seo Yul would be willing to make the sacrifice if it meant saving the world.

I don't know if either is necessarily better as an attitude, and I don't feel qualified to comment on that. But Jang Uk's attitude is why he is better of a romantic partner for Naksu, because she needs someone like that, to feel like someone will love her to such an extent. She's been betrayed and discarded and used so many times across her life that she needs and wants that kind of unconditional love–chosen unconditional love, I should say. Because Jang Uk CHOOSES to be loyal to her no matter what.

This stark difference between Jang Uk and Seo Yul really comes to a head in the conversation they have (can't remember the episode) that goes something like this:

Seo Yul: We have a duty to protect the world from monsters. [referencing soul shifters and citing what he's been told his whole life]

Jang Uk: But we can also protect the monsters from the world.

I'm totally paraphrasing because I don't have time to go look up the quote, but yeah.

Underlying this conversation, they're both really talking about Naksu, but I'm not sure how aware both of them are that are each referencing her.

This continues on later, once Seo Yul has kind of finally made the decision to let them be, to let Naksu be happy because he does really want that for her. He was even planning on whisking her away to Seo Fortress to protect her and to take responsibility for her which weighs heavily on his shoulders. So we know he cares about her a great deal, maybe even more than his principles, which is what puts him in such mental agony in the first place.

I'm really glad actually that Seo Yul and Naksu got to have a closure conversation near the end of Part 1 (even if it all went to shit after) because they had so much history that needed to be addressed.

This conversation was really a turning point for Yul (again before the tragedy of the last episode) because he had finally made his peace with disregarding some of his principles that have been drilled into him and that he's held onto steadfastly for so long in favor of both his friends' happiness. His loyalty to people superseded his loyalty to his principles.

But then the tragedy happens. And not only does his worst fear come true that Naksu will run wild and cause havoc upon his world, but it comes with a huge price. Danggu and Choyeon's happiness is ruined, many people are killed by her hand or injured, and worst of all, Jang Uk dies on her sword.

Just when he's finally made peace within himself, it all falls apart, and he interprets it as the world telling him that he was wrong. That he should have intervened, done something, even if that meant killing Naksu. That he should have been more pro-active. That everyone else was right, and he should have done something about the monster.

He's a very subtle but very interesting character, especially when contrasted with Jang Uk.

He puts a lot of pressure on himself (possibly an attitude adopted because of other people's expectations of him growing up as the only Seo heir but we don't really know) and tends to take on everything quietly. He loves very deeply, and you can see it in the way he interacts with all the people he considers dear to him. He's very thoughtful and considerate and is always thinking of others at his own expense. His love for Naksu and for Jang Uk only added complexity to his character, and I absolutely love him. I think he's one of the highlights of the show.

I have to go to class but I will return for my thoughts on Seo Yul in part 2.

Let me know what you guys think or if I missing anything you thought was important!

[meenawrites]

Seo Yul Deep Dive–Part 2

SO I am back while in class but the professor's not here yet so whatever.

I've clearly been browsing the Seo Yul tag here and I've seen some opinions that really shock me so I hope I can address them here and in future posts.

First of all, we start Part 2 with Yul finally returning from Seoho Fortress after having been forced to leave three years ago.

Guys, he has been SUFFERING from this blood parasite FOR THREE YEARS! So of course, he looks kind of sickly when he arrives. I honestly don't know how he's been holding in there this long.

We also find out that So-I, despite being able to escape now that the blood parasite is no longer in her, is actually opting to stay Jin Mu's little puppet or pawn and let him believe she still has the blood parasite all so she can continue to receive medicine for said parasite and send it to Yul, which is kind of heartbreaking actually and kind of redeeming for her character. (I have a lot to say about her but that may be for another post, we'll see).

So Seo Yul comes back to Daeho Fortress, reunites with his friends, and it's like something clicks back into place for our favorite trio.

We know that Danggu was feeling kind of uncomfortable with Uk not because of the ice stone exactly but he just doesn't know how to talk to him with everything that happened three years ago weighing on their shoulders; which is fair, it was A LOT. But as soon as Yul comes back, it's like they all know how to act together once again.

I really wanted to point this out because I think traditionally a lot of people might find Yul's character kind of boring because of how quiet and strict he is with himself AND HE'S NOT. And we can see that by how his mere presence brings the trio back together, that they start to talk and joke around again as soon as he just makes an appearance. It really highlights how core he is to their friendship, not just an accessory. Yes, his two friends are louder and more lively than him, but because Seo Yul is so quiet and reserved, when he does choose to make a joke or tease it has that much more impact. To top it off you can just FEEL how much he loves his friends and I really think these are two main factors in why Uk and Danggu love him so much. Seo Yul is central to their group, always has been, and he has been looking out for Danggu and Uk his entire life.

Moving on though, we have Seo Yul meeting Jin Buyeon/Naksu, and all of their interactions in the show (prior to him finding out she's Naksu) are ADORABLE! I think they really highlighted once more that Yul and Naksu would always gravitate towards each other in some way because their relationship/bond goes way deeper than anything romantic.

Like yes Yul's care for Naksu has always had a romantic connotation, but his regard for her went way deeper than that. I don't quite know how to articulate it but I think overall he really respected and cared about her as a PERSON just with romantic undertones, not necessarily an all consuming romance. And I think Naksu feels the same way. There is something in Yul that brings her comfort and she likes spending time with him, but it's also never been precisely defined that she loves him romantically. Again, I think there are definitely romantic undertones, even on Naksu's side (made clear by how often she emphasizes how handsome he is) but I think above all her regard for Yul is a lot deeper and purer than that. He is someone who gave her shiny and happy memories in the midst of a life that was anything but happy. This kid showed her that people CAN be unconditionally kind, that people could still be good at a time I think was very important for her, and I think frankly Seo Yul does that for a lot of people. He just constantly reminds people in his attitude and actions that unconditional kindness and care does still exist and he's a prime example of that.

So yes they gravitate towards each other again without remembering the other for a while and it's precious to watch. They frankly just enjoy each other's company, and I absolutely love the scene of them agreeing to be "foolish friends". Might do a whole other post on that scene but yeah.

Let's move on to the agony of Yul's character arc this season.

As we know, the aftermath of the tragedy of season 1 DEEPLY affected Yul. He has no idea that Naksu/Mudeok was controlled into going wild and killing so many people. All he knows is that she went wild, killed Jang Uk and ruined Danggu and Choyeon's happiness. It's his ultimate failure in his point of view. It's been drilled into him that soul shifters are unnatural, that they will inevitably cause great harm, but he elected to ignore that not only for Naksu's sake but also for Jang Uk's sake. He had been watching over her actions all of season 1 both because he cannot stay away from her but also probably to ascertain whether she would really be a threat.

And right when he'd made the decision to leave her alone, to let her and Jang Uk be happy, that maybe the absolute rules he's been taught to believe in unconditionally can be broken, everything he'd feared in letting Naksu/Mudeok continue to live came true.

So OBVIOUSLY he's consumed with guilt. Because he knew exactly who she was for so long, knew that she was a soul shifter, knew the risks and his duties that weigh so heavily upon him, but elected to ignore them for his own feelings, his own moral compass that for once was disagreeing with this set of absolute rules he abides by. And in his view, everyone he loves has paid for his inaction and his decision to let her be.

Like just think about it from his POV, he feels like it's all his fault, especially more so because we know that Yul (and literally every adult around him) holds himself to a very high standard, so his guilt is just that much more intense.

This is why he's letting himself die silently by the blood parasite. This is why he never took the medication even though his pain throughout the last three years must have been so so bad. Because he feels like he deserves it. He's punishing himself, and he thinks he should die for the role he played in the tragedy of season 1.

Yul is someone who feels everything very deeply, and from the way he takes everything upon himself, we can infer that Yul's never had anyone who actually takes care of HIS inner world and HIS feelings. We don't know much about his parents, but from the few family members we have seen –his aunt and uncle – no one seems to care much for him and his feelings. Reinforced by the fact that he's the only heir and the way all the adults treat him, I have to believe that Yul grew up largely having to take care of himself in the emotional aspect. An he grew up, emphasis was heavily put on responsibility and duty as the next head of the Seo family. Combine that with what usually happens with children who act more mature and are more obedient than others -> adults LOVE you. And for someone like Yul who I have to believe didn't really have that emotional support that any child should have from their parents and adults in their life, I think that was just more incentive to cling to this good boy title of his, to foster his absolutist sense of morality that he was being taught, and striving to be as responsible as possible.

That's where his self-flagelating attitude comes from, and that's the kind of background we can infer from the way he acts and reasons through his feelings.

So yes, he was going to let himself die no matter how stupid that is because he thought it was only right.

When he discovers that Jin Buyeon is really Naksu but without her memories, he's in moral agony once again. Because on the one hand he is so so happy she is still alive, but on the other, all that trauma from what happened when she went wild last season is brought right back to the surface (as if he isn't constantly thinking about it already).

And we can see that in the scene where upon discovering it, he just hugs her and asks to stay like that for a while. He cannot believe she is standing in front of him but he is also deeply sad because he feels like she and Uk are destined for tragedy once again (especially with him again not knowing that Mudeok/Naksu was hypnotized last season into going wild, it now feels like an inevitability, a certified truth that the tragedy will repeat itself eventually).

And this time, Uk DOESN'T KNOW. So in Yul's mind, he thinks that that's better, that this is an opportunity afforded him to correct his mistake from last season, and again take care of everyone else's happiness aside from his own.

This combined with how sick he is from the blood parasite I believe largely contribute to his plan to kill Jin Buyeon/Naksu in Danhyangeok. But he also cannot live knowing he did that to her and also Jang Uk. He feels like this is the right choice for everyone's future happiness in the long term, but it will destroy him. So instead of killing her and then just waiting to die, he plans to kill both of them. Infuriating from the viewer's side but totally understandable from his perspective and disposition.

But then we have So-I who is ready to do anything to save Yul, and he ends up being not only discovered but on the verge of death. And So-I dies trying to protect him. Once again, he's just in moral agony because someone has died for him when he was resolute on killing himself. He thought that would be the best course of action for everyone, was convinced, but then someone new dies specifically for him and he's in distress again. What is the right choice? What should I have done?

And when Uk comes to his rescue and grabs him by the back of his neck, we can see just how in despair he is. His "I'm sorry" to Uk is an apology not for dying here and needing to be rescued but for so many other things. For his inaction last season, for having run like a coward to Seoho Fortress for 3 years (in his opinion), for knowing that Jin Buyeon is Naksu and not being able to tell him, for knowing who she is and not being able to protect Uk from pain at her side. For so many things and it's so so heartbreaking.

When Yul is healed and saved, he honestly just doesn't even know what to do anymore, what the right thing to do is. Jin Buyeon/Naksu has saved him, which then makes him feel guilty for planning to kill her in the first place. But he also can't see any way out of a repeat tragedy. Basically his moral compass is going haywire.

Side note: we were totally robbed of the trio reuniting with Seo Yul and then scolding him for being an idiot. Might fuck around and write another Missing Scene oneshot for that.

But then he finds out that Naksu's soul is going to disappear anyway. And he's again conflicted (I swear my man can never catch a break). On the one hand, he's very sad that Naksu is going to disappear out of this world, just gone without ever having been happy. On the other hand, he's relieved because he thinks that with her disappearance no tragedy will occur. Furthermore, the body will be returning to the soul of its original owner which is morally correct by all standards.

So all he can hope for now is for Naksu to be happy with the time she has left with the person she loves. He even goes and threatens Jin Hogyeong (which is not something he would ever normally do) just to give her the chance to be happy with the time she has left. (I'm sobbing yall, I love him).

But then, thanks to Heo Yunok (was very upset with her this season), that all goes to shit because she exposes Naksu right when Uk is finally admitting he's fallen for Jin Buyeon/Naksu, that she's finally going to be happy. And now she remembers everything and how she essentially screwed up the happiness of not only the love of her life Jang Uk (who she LITERALLY KILLED like I can't imagine having to deal with that) but also everyone else she cared about. So she decides to distance herself.

And Seo Yul is just there talking to both of them like won't you use your disappearance as an excuse to be together? Even for a little while? Because damn it they deserve to be happy and they're both so dear to him. And he's just sad once again because the world seems intent on hurting these two people he loves so much.

Now lowkey this is where I feel like the writers kind of failed Seo Yul. Take this with a grain of salt though because they had a limited amount of episodes, so all things considered, they did a great job.

But after all his suffering, Seo Yul didn't really get an emotional payoff. Like yes we see him become in charge of the training center in Songrim and he's going to institute a new and fairer system for training mages. But what really would have been good for him and his character would be for it to be pounded into his head how much his friends care about him, how he doesn't have to suffer alone, how he's not guilty of everything he feels guilty of. For someone to recognize finally how much of a burden he has on his shoulders and show him that he doesn't have to shoulder it alone.

I don't think I'm articulating this properly, but I wanted and needed everyone important to Yul to step up after him almost dying to knock some sense into him, to realize how truly fucked up it is for someone to feel so responsible and guilty and self-sacrificing as to just be willing to die in silence. That's why a scene where Danggu and Uk scold the shit out of him would have been necessary, should definitely have happened. He needs some emotional healing and to realize that people in his life are ready to be aggressively there for him.

Just after this incident, his friends constantly coming to check up on him. Like are you good? Your feelings aren't going crazy, right? You don't feel irrationally guilty for something out of your control, right?

I lowkey have way more to say about Yul and his relationship with other people but that's for a different post.

All in all, I'm super glad that Seo Yul found his own path at the end of the season. I think reforming Jeojjingak (if that's what it's called) is his own way of paving the future so that people like Cho Yeon and So-I who had unlucky lots in life have more of a fair chance in the future.

I clearly love this character A LOT.

Congrats to anyone who actually made it this far.

[meenawrites]

Why did no one tell me how much Five Seconds of Summer SLAPS as an adult?!

Like I grew up with the big songs but never revisited it until my friend made me listen to like 20 songs of theirs and I was like HOLD ON

The Aussies are on to something

[meenawrites]

Cho Yeong and So-I – Narrative Foils

So I was thinking about this a lot yesterday but ended up just going to bed. I hope I can do my thoughts from last night justice.

What I think is really interesting is that the writers have subtly made a comparison throughout the show between Cho Yeong and So-I. They are each other's foils.

Now here me out.

Cho Yeong and So-i have both been handed terrible lots in life. We know a lot more about Cho Yeong's than So-i's (cause duh she's the main character), but we know enough about So-i's background to surmise what her upbringing was like for the most part.

There's no mention of So-i's parents by her EVER while every other character has mentioned their parent or parents at least once, leading us to believe that So-i may never have known her parents and is most likely an orphan from an age younger than Yeong.

We also know that she's from Sari Village, same as Mudeok, which from the flashbacks we see, doesn't look like a very nice place to live or a place inhabited by very well-off people. Her only close relation in Sari Village was Mudeok/Jin Buyeon, which I think is very telling of how she interacts with people. She doesn't form deep connections with people because she's focused on self-preservation. She doesn't become close to anyone in case she has to betray or con them to survive. Since she's no one's top priority, she's made herself her own at whatever cost. This attitude is super prevalent when she's going through all the steps to become Jin Buyeon, especially the scene where Jin Mu is launching shards of pottery at her and she refuses to even flinch, even when there's one like millimeters from her eye. She's got that grit of survival that goes beyond anything most people are capable of, I would say.

She has been a swindler/thief for years to survive, and again has no notable connections aside from Mudeok/Jin Buyeon.

This girl is well and truly on her own.

We can parallel this to Cho Yeong/Naksu. Naksu was orphaned at a young age as well, and has gone through hell to survive. She grew up basically entirely alone in Danhyangeok, raised herself, and trained herself to be ruthless all so that she could survive and even possibly get her revenge. She cast away all niceties and gentleness she may have had so that she can be strong enough to take care of herself. She too was her own top priority no matter what happens.

Cho Yeong also only had one notable connection while growing up, and that was Seo Yul. Seo Yul was her one friend in her teenage years that she was able to make, that she was able to be kind and gentle with because she couldn't afford to be like that with anyone else.

Where Yeong and So-i differ is this:

So-i, growing up through great hardship and having to rely entirely on herself to survive cast away all moral beliefs and principles in order to stay alive. She doesn't hesitate to kill who she needs to to survive, and even goes so far as to try to kill Mudeok not once but TWICE just to stay alive and stay Jin Buyeon. She has basically discarded most of her humanity in consideration of 'me, me, me, I have to stay alive'. Even later in season 2, she runs a gambling den and can be seen willingly torturing people and lowkey getting a kick out of it with no qualms. Even further, she was prepared to just send off Jin Buyeon/Naksu to Jin Mu with no worries, even going so far as to lock her in a room with knock-out gas. A bit crazy and heartless if you ask me.

Cho Yeong/Naksu however has NOT done that. As much as she has a reputation as a dangerous assassin who makes heads roll wherever she goes, we're told firstly that Naksu was known to never have harmed civilians or innocents. Additionally, when she found out that Yul was from the Seo family, one of the families behind the 'murder' of her father, she 1000% could have killed him or harmed him in some way. She could have justified it to herself under the guise of revenge, but she didn't. She pushes him away and basically lets him go with nothing more than a broken heart. Because she knows despite all the hurt that Yul is not to blame for what happened to her dad, that he is innocent in all that, and that he has been ineffably kind to her.

Furthermore, we have multiple instances in season 1 where Mudeok thinks about just killing Jang Uk and getting rid of him. She thinks she can do it, or at least she tries to convince herself. But every time she has a chance to or it would actually BENEFIT her own survival –like when that mage Gil-ju was like bring him to me or else I'll have you killed–she can't bring herself to do it. She even protects him quite a bit. We see her kindness as well in the way that she reassures Seo Yul many times, despite the very real risk that it could blow her cover, that she - Naksu - was okay in Danhyangeok, that it wasn't too rough for her even though she's under no obligation to.

The real climax for Naksu was when she was stuck in the ice stone with Jang Uk, Seo Yul, and the others. She could get all her powers back, shift souls with ANYONE she wanted at the drop of a hat, if she just let them all die. Should be simple for a cut-throat assassin right? She keeps telling herself she'll do it, trying to convince herself really. But she keeps stalling. She serves the crown prince and those goons that call themselves mages, she goes into the kitchen and decides to make Jang Uk the noodles that he loves, she tries to give the prince some honey cookies to lessen the guilt that she admits is consuming her with the thought of forsaking them all just for her own power. And in the end, she can't do it. She's been kidding herself. She goes crazy when she thought that Jang Uk died, and sets her sword aside not just for Jang Uk (though yeah she could never kill him we know that) but for all the people trapped in the barrier with her that are largely innocent (except So-i), that she cares about, and that she cannot justify to herself killing just for her own power gain.

This is why Cho Yeong/Naksu is great as a character and truly strong. She had a hard life yeah, and that skewed her morals, definitely. But she has not forsaken kindness or humanity like So-i did in the face of hardship. She tries to be all unfeeling and ruthless, but even back when she didn't even know Jang Uk that well, like when the soul-shifting detector dog (I forgot what it's called, my bad) had its sights set on her, she told him to step away from her, basically to protect himself and abandon her, which is totally contrary to the ruthless persona she tries to put on.

While So-i has abandoned any morals or principles EXCEPT when it comes to Seo Yul, Naksu hasn't. She is still capable of being kind and putting others before herself. How many times has she told Uk that if it comes down to it he should abandon her and protect himself?

Even in Season 2 when she finally remembers who she is, she puts Uk first and is ready to sacrifice her own happiness to do the right thing.

In this way, So-i and Cho Yeong are each other's narrative foils, both exemplifying the path and choices one can make in the face of hardship. You don't just become a bad person in the face of hardship, you choose to. And that's what is being shown to us.

I mean you can argue that Naksu ended up having more good people around her than So-i did, but also not really. So-i had Mudeok at a time when Naksu had nobody. Did So-i get in with the wrong people when she came to Daeho? Absolutely, but she also had more control over the situation than someone in her position would and was unnecessarily cruel at times.

Holding onto your morals/humanity in the face of adversity IS a choice, and that's what the comparison of So-i and Cho Yeong demonstrates.

I have more to say about So-i but that will be it's own post. I just wanted to put this out there before words failed me completely.

Let me know your thoughts!