Who you should fight: Good Omens TV edition
Updated version of Who you should fight: Good omens original (book) edition
Aziraphale: Absolutely not, he is soft and warm like mashed potatoe, what is wrong with you?
AJ Crowley: You know what? No, I don’t think you would win this one. Why would you want to anyway? Because his hair looks weird? I mean I guess, but you shouldn’t punch someone for that, asshole.
Adam: He’s only eleven but come on man just a little slap won’t hurt him too much and I’m sure Dog would understand if he’s being an asshole again
The rest of the Them: No, they are baby, please don’t
Gabriel: Please oh my god his face is so punchable
Uriel and Michael: You will lose no one can take them down.
Sandalaphon: Probably asthmatic. Go ahead.
Hastur and Ligur: You’ll lose but please try
The frog and lizards on their heads: but do not hit the lizards
The Four Horsepersons: The leather, the panache, the style, untouchable, do not try
Newt: You could win by unbalancing his car, it only has 3 wheels
Anathema: that’s a literal hate crime do not
Agnes Nutter: Don’t she’s just trying 2 teach people about the benefits of fiber and jogging and feminism
Shadwell: You would win but at what cost......he has brittle bone disease
Madam Tracy: She would fight you but she would bill you for it.
Metatron: He’s just a floating head ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You physically can’t
Beelzebub: You would have to crouch down. Imagine the crunching sound as your fist smashes a bucket of flies. You could try. But I wouldn’t.
Dagon: You’d probably get more hurt than her
God: She is our heavenly mother and she has left us all in a hot car with the windows rolled up, do as you will
Eric (”Disposable demon”): Laugh at his avacado joke instead you monster