The Truth of Lies
Everything seemed obscure as the time you left me with no goodbyes at all. You just left me hanging with unanswered questions and as I tried to unobtrusively figure out the counting truths, all were shattered leaving your every bit of feint.
I knew you were feigning from the very beginning. I was aware that you were only using me to fill your emptiness. You were really not looking for a genuine love but you were searching for something to fill your lust. I knew all of it. I knew that because I was the only person you knew that was easily irrepressible, that I was the only one you could run to when you don’t know where to go. But sometimes, I asked myself why I kept on following you. I might be pathetic looking at my own portrait bleeding through shame and disgrace because of the molestation coming from an impudent man. I became morbid that I couldn’t see clearly what had become a mordant truth.
It became an epidemic that I have loved you for a long time. Even though we unraveled the connection we had, I was still trying to tie up the string and bring myself back to you. I had been too unruly that at times I had come to a point of oblivion on acknowledging my own worth. It was a mocking truth to love an unscrupulous man like you. But no one could explain this unfathomable feeling I had for you. Maybe, this was true love, a love of no return.
A message for you:
When I lost you, I was the one, who loved you most, But between us you lost more... For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you ... But you will never be loved Again the way that I did
I wanted you to know that I never survived my agony with you. I was hurt that you always keep on telling me that you will be back and we will share each other’s life for the rest of our lives. And as I waited for your final call, you left me hanging. You never gave me the right words of your goodbye. I couldn’t understand why you were sending me a vibe of love when in fact, you never showed me that. I was asking you before to let me go, but you did not reply. I thought you could still reach for my hand but I realized that you refused to mind.
But now, I can see that you’re happy with another woman. Maybe, she is the person you’ve been waiting, the person that will finally pull out my connection with you. And before she does, I’m cutting that string without haste. My flounder will just eventually fade seeing you satisfied with your own world. Without a word from you, I’ll try to be oblivious about us. But please let me go! I need to be free from you.
©swb2005
