#mental welbeing

[multiplydifficult]

Feeling very tired (keep going to bed late, nobody to blame but myself. Bed late = very tired in evening = make bad decisions in evening + lose track of time easily = bed late. Great cycle.)

Anyway. Have friend's going-away potluck. Gotta get up and start cooking... well, about now. And despite caffiene i just really, really wanna stay in bed. Definitely don't feel like dealing with groups of mostly-strangers.

Is this the start of a headache? I don't know. Maybe i'm just tired. But i have meds for if it's a headache, but i don't want to take them if i don't have to.

[katnisseverdeennot]

You wouldn't tell anyone else that they weren't worthy of recovery, so don't tell yourself that either

[katnisseverdeennot]

I do it for you

1 hours sleep because of my anxiety. All I want to do is lay in bed all day and listen to the rain. Unfortunately I won't get a decent degree that way, and I have people in my life who I want to make proud of me. I worked hard to get where I am today.

[katnisseverdeennot]

I just wrote an 1500 essay to myself on how I feel

Some would argue it’s not very productive, but I do feel a lot better now. Reading through it all makes me feel less guilty and actually think ‘wow okay a lot is happening right now, it’s understandable why I feel like this’. I find it’s quite a good way of getting everything out in the open, or at least making some sort of sense of everything so it feels less messy?

I’m not an expert on mental well being or anything but I have experienced going to the doctors because of how I've been feeling and not knowing 1) What to say 2) If I’m saying it right 3) If I’m leaving stuff out. 

So I've had a thought, If you’re like me and feel overly awkward and don’t know what to say during a visit to the doctors, then maybe it would help to get it all down on paper and show it to them. I don’t really know how a doctor would react to this, but maybe it would make the process easier? Idk. But it did really help me, even though personally I’m not planning any trips to the doctor anytime soon.

I don’t really know if I’m wording this right, but basically it just helped me feel a lot less like things were being bottled up and kind of put things into perspective for me. 

I do understand that it’s not always that simple, to just write things down and everything feel perfectly fine, of course it’s not. But things do feel a lot less cluttered in my mind, so anything’s worth a shot, right?