i need some advice...
so if you’ve been following me from sometime, you’ve probably noticed that i’m usually upfront about my feeling and mentality, usually coming here to vent about my anger, stress, and depression since i feel like this is the only safe place i have to go to when i want to talk about what i’m going through
anyway, since i’ve been home for the summer, these emotional swings have been getting worse and for three weeks now i’ve been in a constant state of either being depressed, angry, or just in ‘eh’ mood. this has caused a lot of fights with me and my mother because she doesn’t really know whats going on, she actually doesn’t really see mental disorders as a serious thing and views them more as excuses people make up to get attention. this had made things very hard for me because i’ve been like this ever since high school and have been really up front with everyone about how am except for my family just because of how i’ve seen them react to stories about mental disorders we see on the news.
recently, i did go to my college’s counseling center because just coping and talking to friends wasn’t enough for me anymore with last year being a real roller coaster. it helped a little, but because of my school schedule and projects i wasn’t able to really figure out a plan with the counselor and make a change.
so now i’m wanting to find someone i can go to while i’m home for the summer and hopefully stick with during my last year of college. i searched and found someone who seems like a perfect fit in my area and their prices aren’t that high and they thankfully take my insurance, but i’m nervous about asking my parents for help since i can’t pay for the sessions myself. i’m so scared about asking and they be like ‘why do you need to go see a therapist??’ i could probably just tell them that it’s a life coach that i want to help me with figuring out want to do after college, but then i know my mom would be like ‘but that’s what i’m doing!’
but in all honesty, shes the reason why i’ve been like this for so long. ever since i cam home she’s been non-stop nagging me about getting a job and being productive in life. but i just can’t. it just really makes me anxious and lose all sense of productivity. i was able to find a minimum wage job, set nanny jobs with two families, and i have my own personal side businesses/hobbies that i do. and on top of that all i’m always asked to run errands for my parents and its just too much. even when i try to take a nap to settle myself, my mom ends up getting mad at me and scolds me about how i need to be productive and go to XY and Z and get the most out of the day.
i guess what i’m saying is, how can i ask my parents to help me pay for therapy sessions, without a dozen of questions from the main reason i’m the way i am?