I found a post on tumblr that said that there were different types of panic attacks, like crying. I think i had one tonight but when i have panic attacks its not like bad to where i know im having one. But i have a new bf but saw a pic of my ex and idk, when i saw it, i felt my stomach sink, but i dont like him anymore and i love my boyfriend so i started panicking out of guilt and crying and my chest hurt. Maybe you can describe different types of panic attacks too cuz im also kinda interested.
I’m sorry that you had a panic attack, dear, they’re scary and not at all pleasant. I’m so proud of you for reaching out to us, though, and for looking to learn more about them!
It is definitely possible to have a panic attack without actually realizing what it is, especially if you didn’t know much about them at the time that you were experiencing it. For the first three years that I experienced panic attacks I had no clue that that’s what they were: I thought they were always hyperventilating, crying, sweating, and just generally looking extremely distressed, because those are the ones you hear about and/or see.
In reality, though, panic, like any emotion, is experienced differently by each person. Some people get ones like I described above, some people feel their heart racing and their extremities go numb, others start doing a repetitive behaviour to try and calm themselves down or feel like they’re going to die, some just burst into tears. What remains constant is the emotions behind it: intense fear that peaks after a few minutes and usually lasts somewhere between 20 minutes and an hour.
The symptoms of a panic attack are any combination of the following symptoms (plus many other possible ones):
Palpitations, pounding heart or accelerated heart rate.
Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering.
Chest pain or discomfort.
Nausea or abdominal distress.
Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded or faint.
Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations).
Derealisation (feelings of unreality) or depersonalisation (being detached from oneself).
Fear of losing control or going crazy.
To me, what you felt sounds exactly like a panic attack. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have anxiety, most people experience at least a couple panic attacks in their lifetime. While I know they’re uncomfortable, love, I promise that they do pass and that, no matter how scary they are, they can’t hurt you. One of the best things to do when you’re having a panic attack is breathing exercises. There’s plenty of them, so you just have to pick which one suits you best, but my personal favourite is to breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds. This helps slow your heart down and thereby essentially reset your nervous system, helping to calm you down. You can also try various grounding techniques, such as gradual relaxation (starting from the top of your head, try to relax every part of your body one at a time, moving down to your toes). We have a whole page of calming techniques here that I really think you might benefit from looking at.
I promise that you have no reason to feel guilty for feeling your stomach sink when you saw the picture of your ex. Whether or not things ended well, there were still some extremely intense emotions during and after any relationship, and there are a lot of personal moments shared in them. It’s perfectly normal for reminders of exes to bring up complex emotions despite you being happy in your current relationship: we’re only human, and we all grieve things that made us happy in the past, even if they’ve been replaced by something better. You don’t need to feel bad about simply feeling, I promise.
While, as I said before, almost everyone experiences some type of panic attack at some point, they are still extremely unpleasant and difficult to deal with. If you have someone you can talk to about them or who might be able to help you if you ever have one again, such as your boyfriend, a friend, a parent, a school counselor, etc. then it can definitely make a big difference. You have many people who love and care for you, and you don’t have to deal with this experience alone. All of us here at MHA are, of course, always here for you, but it’s nice to have someone close to you who you can go to and can help you in the moment. We have a page on getting help here that you can take a look at if you like, as well as a list of web counselors that may be helpful.
I hope that cleared things up a bit, sweetheart. If there’s anything more we can do for you, please never hesitate to send us an ask, hop on live chat, or join a venting group. We all care about you so much, and we are here for whatever you need.
All the love in the world,