#mhatom

[mental-health-advice]

Hey. I just ended the relationship with my girlfriend (I am also a girl) 9 months because it got too hard with school and people and I don't know I seemed to not love her like I did, however I have sort of got over it because I believe it ended for the greater good however she's not taking so well, she's reall down and sad and she says she still loves me and I don't know what to do? How can I help her? We still talk and are friends? But I'm worried.

Hi doll,

I can tell you this from experience, that if you act close, and stay close right after the breakup it makes it so much harder than it is. You two need to take some time apart. If you stay close and make it seem like it's not that bad, it makes it a thousand times harder to let go. Take 2 weeks. No matter how hard they may be, they are necessary. Then see if you two are comfortable enough to be freinds.

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

When I was about 12 or 13 I did a very stupid thing by exposing myself to someone on a video chat. I did it a couple times. I now have anxiety attacks and panic attacks thinking about what I did and how it may come to back to me. What if they took pictures? I didn't know who they were. I'm so stupid that I did that. I wish I knew better. My life could be ruined. I need some reassurance please. (please tag as 12)

Hi doll,

Idk how old you are now but a few years ago the technology was diffrent so on a desktop or a laptop to take a screenshot of their screen they have to go to settings and it would show a little flash on both sides if they did take a picture. If they took a picture and you didn't know, then I would say don't worry about it. Unless you know these peole personally and have done something to piss them off, you have no reason to worry. If there are any pictures, which I doubt, don't pay it any mind. There is a basically 1 in a million chance that thy could come back to you. So just take that into consideration.

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

i feel like a total loser. all my friends have their own bf/gf while i haven't even gone on a real date in 2 years since my gf broke off with me. everyone around me either has gone on dates or are happily attached. when i asked a girl out recently, she said yes, but later gave me excuses and blew me off. i feel like no one wants me because i'm ugly and not good enough for anyone. this has taken a toll on my mental health.

Hi doll,

You don't need a gf to feel normal around your freinds. Not at all. It seems like you may still be recovering from the relationship you previously had. I am still recovering from my previous relationship. And it's been like 9 months. We all have our own ways, and our own times of coping. Feeling like you need to fit in, or feel like you aren't good enough will take a till mentally because you feel that way all the time. It is not just once in a while. It affects how you look at yourself when you wake up and go to sleep. You are not inadequate by any means. You dated someone before! And I'm sure it was a wonderful relationship. It is not what is on the outside, but is what's on the inside that counts. I learned that the hard way. And once I did, I was so happy I could see it. If you look inside someone when you meet (metaphorically of course) and you appreciate them for being themselves and not being just cute (although it is an added gain) in sure they will do the same. Even for the days when you do not feel beautiful just remeber that belle loved the beast with all her heart. And so do I. Stay strong love ok?

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

Can you please tag this with HaileyM so I can find it? I recently cut, they were deep, but not deep deep. They only started to heal yesterday but I try to keep them open as it's really triggering when they heal. I don't even know where I am going with this, but is it normal to feel upset when small scars start to fade away? I feel like they are a part of me and I don't want to lose them. My girlfriend is a huge support for me, but I don't want to bother her with my problems.

Hi doll,

That is great to hear that you have a strong support system. That is so very important on any road to recovery. What it sounds like is you are contradicting yourself. You cut, but then the scars or the healing process is very triggering for you when you see it happening on your arms. But you cannot keep

Opening the cuts becuase it makes you more susceptible to infection, and it is not great when the little cuts on your arms get infected. It is awful. Set goals for yourself. Everyday write down what you are feeling, and set a little goal for yourself. It helps extensively. If you are still early in recovery just try wearing long sleeves all the time so you don't see it when you look down. I tried that when I was going through recovery.

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

This isn't urgent or anything but just important because my assignment is due soon. In my English class we're working on our college essays and idk if talking about having depression and overcoming it is an appropriate topic to write about. Please answer soon it would be much appreciated! Xx -KimmiM

Hi doll,

The point of writing a college essay is to talk about things that the admissions people would not necessarily see on your application. It is a chance to make an impression with just your writing, which is why it is so important for your words to be clear, concise and structured. While also highlighting the best parts about yourself, and possibly a hardship you have overcome. Talking about depression is a 50/50 kinda thing. You do not want the admissions people to think that you can fall back into depression, because it can affect your schoolwork, and your own standing at the university. Think of it this way. Each student that universities accept is an investment in the university becuase they lend money, and give out scholarships so you can get a good education. And they want to protect their investment and make sure that the investment grows, learns, and performs to their satisfaction. So if you do choose to write about it then make sure you talk about how you are better, and that you are hardworking and how you want to acheive all you can. Hope this helped love!

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

Hey I have a crush on one of my friends. I've known her for a year and she's so lovely. We have so much in common and it's like everytime I see her, my crush flares up. I've tried ignoring my crush but I seriously can't. I told one of my friends this and she said that it sounds like more of a crush. My crush also told me that she used to have a crush on me. I just wanted to share because I have hope in this for once. And I'm hopefully going to see her more as she lives near the uni I'm going to.

Hi doll,

What you shouldn't do is hold it in forever. It will eat you from the Inside out and cause you to think the worst about things all the time. Talk to her about it. It is so scary to confront it, but once you do, it will become easier and easier to talk about and before you know it, it will be completely normal again. You said that she told you that she had a crush on you too. What if she still does. People have a lot of reasons for not wanting to be in love at a current time because of past relationships, school, work, or just feeling like they won't be able to give full attention to the relationship. The best thing to do is to talk about it. Be open and she will be too. You may just get the experience, and answer you were hoping for. Spend more and more time together. See if she still has some feelings for you. Love ya!

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

i quite often forget to eat, like i'm not doing it on purpose but sometimes it's like 5pm and i'm suddenly hungry because i haven't eaten all day

Hi doll,

This happens to me on many occasions! I one time went 3 DAYS without actually eating anything. I just had water and coffee. I didn't even notice because I was working so hard on a huge filming project. It took us a week to shoot and those 3 days had shoots from 4am to midnight. By the time I finished I just went home and fell right asleep and did it again the next day. So this can happen, and I think what you should do is carry around some snacks with you throughout the day. If you see the food you will most likely be tempted to eat it and therefore will not have to worry about not eating if you are periodically snacking throughout the day, which is technically more healthy for you! I hope this helped love!

-Tom

[mental-health-advice]

Hey I've just started college the course I'm doing has people I don't know. How can I been confident and not be so Insecure and maybe make friends outside my course as well?

Hi doll,

A good way to make freinds in your course and outside of them is to ask someone in the class for help. Say that "you don't understand it" and ask for some pointers or see what they have written down. I don't think that anybody would be opposed to helping you out! Another great way is to see if anybody is having a study group for a big test, or find out where all the students go to hang out after class! I'm sure a lot find a Starbucks or some coffee shop and go and sit and study for hours on end! Those are a few suggestions you can try! Message us if you have anymore questions! Just assert yourself and you will be returned the favor!

-Tom