*this will be deleted/don’t mind my actual account I have*
Midwesterners, homesteaders, gardeners, botanists, anyone who knows about corn
what have I done wrong?
Is my corn going to die? 😿😭
Can I do anything to save it?
I think it’s Physoderma brown spot disease, which for what I’ve been able to find there’s no home remedy and there’s not much knowledge on if fungicides even work. Which I’m an organic gardener so… it would need to not be any type of chemicals.
I’m crying you don’t understand how much this corn means to me.
As someone who lives in the midwest, the stuff listed below is what I've called home for twenty-three years , but for someone who's never visited, it can be a bit of a feverish haze of farmland and odd customs. In this comedic headcanon piece, Kanoh will come to understand a few unique features that makes the Midwest what it is.
If you have questions about anything, please send an Ask!
Kanoh is normally a warrior, but out here, he's a nomad.
Riding through the Midwest during the summer and fall is a real treat! The scenery is gorgeous, weather is perfect, and even the rain is pleasant on a hot day.
However, spring gets a bit tricky (especially in Ohio).
The weather in March is sporadic. Just imagine: he's riding on a sunny day, 75-80 degrees through the country, then a storm rolls in, nearly producing a tornado. He pulls over to take shelter, hoping that maybe the storm will pass by morning.
WRONG! 30 degrees and 1-3 inches of snow.
Pray he doesn't have allergies. The Ohio Valley is a mold bowl.
The food is a whole new challenger. A lot of it is comfort food, but comfort food to the people who've ate it their entire lives.
Greek chili over spaghetti, or better yet, regular chili served alongside a cinnamon roll. I personally love puppy chow, which is cereal, chocolate, and powdered sugar! Jello salad, and lots of it!
He attends a church potluck for lunch and comes face to face with an army of crockpots. Noodles, a block of cream cheese, and whatever sounded good at the local Kroger.
You will be visitng the potty.
"Ope, let me just squeeze past ya!"
Riding deep into the country is fun until the sun goes down. At that point, the world goes silent and the corn breathes your name.
Kanoh swears he can see shadows moving in the fields, rustling against the stalks. Everything in the country looks haunted and abandoned at night.
Serpentine roads turn out a lot of wrecks.
P.S. the deer are suicidal.
Gas station food is actually decent where he is, so snacks are plentiful. Casey's is one of the better gas stations to hit up.
Kanoh will make friends along the way, good for him! However, his patience will be tested through the Midwestern goodbye. It takes 30 minutes with double hugs and at least one more long winded conversation before he can actually leave.
Heading out of the Midwest, he'll see conversion signs everywhere along with an abundance of church marquees spewing the cruelest shit.
He isn't sure who Jesus is, exactly, but imagines that he'd probably be upset with these crazy folk.
Living in the Corn Belt of the Midwest is something else cos what do you mean it rained for six days straight and it was on the verge of freezing temperatures at the same time.
Being friends with city people and/or non farmers is so fun because they never believe you about the bin spiders. Like, I understand they can be scary but as long as you're watching for them they won't get you.
