♡ summary: while you’re sleeping, yoongi confesses that one day he wants to marry you.
♡ pairing: yoongi x f. reader
♡ genre: fluff
♡ warnings: mentions of insomnia and hints at shower sex ( nothing too sexual ) 14+
♡ w/c: 889 ( drabble )
♡ a/n: welp, here I am once again with a yoongi fluff when I have a million other unfinished fics sitting in my google doc *scratches head awkwardly 😅* Anyways, I hope you enjoy this 🥰
♡
Yoongi’s quite accustomed to waking up in the dark hours of the morning. Despite cherishing the idea of sleeping comfortably in his king-size until noon, the swarming thoughts of upcoming projects, tours, and deadlines kept the insomniac rapper from being dormant for more than 3 hours a night.
With a grunt, he rolls out of bed, carrying his semiconscious body to the kitchen, brewing up his favorite americano style coffee only to travel back to the confines of his bedroom, partaking to the makeshift work desk beside his mattress.
After a few hours of meddling with his music, bright orange rays belonging to the sun creep their way over the horizon, causing the night shadows in the dimly lit bedroom to vanish without a trace.
Still asleep, you notice the sudden beam of light slip through the curtains and over your slumber eyes, causing your fingers to clutch the comforter under your chin, snuggling adorably into the fabric for 5 more minutes of sleep.
Noticing your small movements out the corner of his eye, Yoongi removes his headphones with a gummy smile, examining your sleeping form. Your luxurious hair spilled across the pillow, long lashes resting neatly atop the apples of your cheeks, and plush lips slightly ajar for a soothing source of airflow.
To Yoongi, it seemed as though you always slept for eternity. The long hours without you were torture to him, impatient for your awakening so he could hold a conversation with you before he left for work or spoil you with affection.
Wanting to be closer to you, Yoongi moves to your side of the bed, taking a seat at the edge to admire your sleeping beauty. “I love you.” His husk morning voice whispering into the air, placing a misplaced strand of hair behind your ear.
As Yoongi gazed upon you, he saw everything. He saw light, happiness, and a bright future. There were many things the rapper thought he wouldn't be able to experience, but the very moment you waltzed into his life, you showed him all the things that were possible. All the things he was capable of accomplishing so long as he put his best foot forward. Now, with having you as his biggest support system, the idol couldn't imagine a future without you in it. "Will you marry me, __?" He whispers into the air, knowing you wouldn't respond due to your slumbering state.
Of course, Yoongi would wait a few years before seriously asking you the question. Due to him being a part of Bangtan, he still had goals and priorities that needed to be fulfilled, but the moment his company would express their support for his marriage, Yoongi wouldn't waste any more time before officially asking, your hand in marriage. "Wait for me just a bit longer,__" His thumb swiping across your delicate skin, caressing your bare shoulder. "And I promise I'll give you the world if you say, yes." His deep voice, as soft as a cloud.
You release a breath, legs stretching under the comforters while rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you slowly awaken from your peaceful dream. "Say yes to what, Yoongles?" Your throat is dry, making your voice a bit horse as your lashes flutter open curiously, looking up at your lover's jet hair, pink lips, and glossy hooded eyes.
Yoongi flashes you a familiar gummy smile along with a warm chuckle. "Nothing for you to worry about at the moment." He reaches down, placing a soft kiss across your forehead and then on your lips. "I don't have anything scheduled today; what would you like to do?" He quickly changed the subject.
You sit yourself up in bed with a yawn, covers slipping off your body. "How about we pig out on the couch and watch La Casa De Papel." Your accent rolls off your tongue as you speak the title of Yoongi's favorite drama.
The idol smirks at your suggestion, admiring that at times you were a couch potato like himself. "I'd love to do that with you today." He grins.
A seductive beam twinkles across your lips, as your eyes cut suggestively at your boyfriend. "Of course, I'll need to take a shower first." Your alluring tone dips as you take a stand. Your baggy shirt slipping off your shoulder, stopping just above the curve of your bare thighs as you maneuver between Yoongi's legs, gazing down at him. "Care to join me?" Your fingertips tease up the back of his neck and rake through his jet tresses, massaging his scalp.
Intrigued by the flirtatious sight before him, Yoongi's hands slip temptingly up the sides of your thighs, finding their favorite place on your hips, onyx eyes connecting with your twinkling orbs, mesmerized by the view which was your morning beauty. "I would love to join you." He drags his tongue across his bottom lip with a wink.
You release a mischievous giggle as you wiggle in place, knowing exactly the kind of morning you were in for. "Let's go!" Your bare feet paddle across the wooden floor, making haste of your nightshirt and panties along the way.
Yoongi chuckles at your eagerness to get things started. As he follows you into the bathroom, Yoongi knows one thing for certain, that one day he will make you his wife.
You’d been dating Yoongi for almost 2 months now, and it had been the best 2 months of your life worth the exception of one thing. When the two of you started dating, you both tried to seem like you were to outgoing type. That you both liked to go out to clubs and 5 star restaurants, but you couldn’t keep it up much longer.
“Yoongi, I really appreciate you bringing me to all of these places, but it’s not my thing. I just want to be with you.” You cracked after about the 6th stright weekend of having to put on a little cocktail dress and heals. “And, Im running out of things to wear.”
A big smile cracked his stoic face as he squeezed you hand, turning from your side to now face you. “Really?” His face lit up. “I just wanted to be a good boyfriend. I haven’t really dated the last few years, and all the boys told me that I need to take you fancy places. But it’s just not me. I’d rather stay home watching movies and making dinner together.”
“Yoongs, that sounds perfect.” You ease his visible stress by placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Well, do you still want to go to dinner, our reservations are in a 15 minutes.” You scanned his face trying to figure out what he wanted.
“Honestly?” You asked him, staring into his eyes. His head nodded yes. “Well honestly, this dress is probably the most uncomfortable thing in my closet and whoever designed these shoes obviously didn’t have feet, so honestly, I want to change back into a big t-shirt and watch movies on the couch.”
You can see his body physically relax. “Thank god.” He says it with a sign make you both laugh, and you walk hand in hand to the valet to get his car.
“Can we stop at my place on the way back so I can change?”
“Why? I have plenty of t shirts and hoodies. You can wear something of mine. Besides, your apartment is on the other side of the city, and there are instant noodles at my place calling my name.”
You rest your head on his should as you stand on the sidewalk waiting for the car. Your whole body was becoming warm at the idea of just going back to your boyfriends, laying on the couch, tangling your bodies together and watching movies. “What do you want to watch?”
“Hmmm. Do you like action movies or are you going to make me watch something sappy like the notebook?”
You can’t help but laugh at the question. You hated romantic movies, but you couldn’t give in that easily. “Awe, how sweet, the notebook, and the bird and...”
He cut you off with laughter quickly realizing you had no idea what the movie was even about.
“Fine, you caught me. I don’t like the sappy movies. I never got to see End Game when it was out, do you have that?”
He looks down at you, face lit up with excitement. “I have 4 copies.”
“Perfect!”, you say holding back laughter. Just as you go to open your mouth again, the valet pulls up with the car. Yoongi opens your door, hands the valet a tip, then slides into the drivers seat. You both buckle your seat belts, and after he shifts into drive, his hand finds its way to your thigh. The feeling of it sends chills up and down your body, and you grip his fingers as his thumb keeps beat with the song on the radio.
You wished the drive would have lasted forever. Neither of you said much, but it didn’t feel awkward. You just studied his face as he drove, admiring how the features softly changed with the coming and going of the street lights.
“Do I have something on my face?” He softly smiled as he removed his hand from your thigh to park the car.
“No, just admiring how soft your features look in this light.” You softly smile before leaning in to give him a kiss. You could feel the corners of his mouth curve into a smile as you did so, making you smile to.
“You know, for not like romantic movies, you’re pretty cheesey.” He said the words with a chuckle as he pressed his forehead into yours.
“What can I say, you bring it out of me.”
With another laugh, he pulls his forehead away and gets out of the car. You go to get out, and can see him running around the front of the car to open your door. “Who’s the cheesey one now?” As the words leave your mouth, you both laugh as he extends his hand to help you out of the car.
“Fine. You caught me.” You can see his cheeks turning red. You lace your fingers with his as he leads you back to his apartment. Every step closer to your destination added another butterfly to your stomach. You and Yoongi had spent time together alone, but never at his apartment.
You stepped off the elevator, and there it was. The door to his apartment. You could feel your heart beat picking up speed. He must have sense you were nervous because he leaned in for a soft and loving hug. “How about you can have the bathroom while I make us some food and get the movie ready?”
You nodded yes with your head as it rested against his chest, and he placed one hand on you head, one on your waist.
“You can wear anything in my closet. all of the hoodies and pullovers are in the front right. Cleanser and moisturizer are on the bathroom counter if you want to take your makeup off, too.”
You hugged him tighter as a way to say thank you before you headed off down the hall. You didn’t know how the two of you found each other, but everyday he gave you a new reason to be thankful you did. As soon as you closed the door behind you, You wiggled out of your dress and slipped a on Fear of God crewneck. You suddenly understood why is seemed to be wearing it all the time, it was so soft and seemed to just drape your body like it was made for you. Plus, it smelled like your boyfriend, a scent that had recently become one of your favorites.
Next you moved to the bathroom. You couldn’t wait to take you makeup off. You loved just wearing simple makeup or none at all, so if you were going to have a comfortable night, this glam had to come off.
After a few minutes, you emerged from the bedroom, and you heard the microwave going off. Instant noodles and a movie was your favorite way to spend Saturday nights before you had a boyfriend, and somehow you lucked out and found a boy who was the same. You stood at the edge of the kitchen for a few minutes and watched your boyfriend nervously arange noodles, beers and some snacks on a tray, whispering softly under his breath. Your cover wasn’t busted until he let out a soft “shit” after bumping into the corner of the counter.
“How long have you...” He frozen when he saw you standing there. Hair on top of your head, hands lost in the sleeves, resting your head on the doorframe. “Wow”
You felt the blood rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment. You put your head down and shyly smiled at the words. With one swift motion, he grabbed a sleeve, pulled you over to him and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “You have got to be the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.” The words hit your ear in an almost whisper, making your cheeks grow even warmer.
“You’re not so bad yourself, huh?” You had noticed he was also changed into some adidas sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt. You gave him a soft kiss on the cheek then complained about being hungry, giving him a laugh.
“Let’s go.” He walked over and grabbed the tray you had watched him finish preparing, then led the way over to the couch. There he had also brought out a pile of blankets and pillows. He really was a big softy, even if he didn’t want to show it. “So, you really never watched End Game, huh?”
“Well, I have a confession...” He looked at you confused. “Don’t get mad, but I’ve seen it. I saw it like 7 times while it was still in theaters. I just couldn’t do another fancy restaurant with bad lighting and even worse music.”
A smile broke out across face, followed by a breathy laugh. “I can’t believe I let the six of them convince me that I need to take you out every weekend.”
With that you both laughed as you draped your legs across his lap. He placed one hand on the small of your back, and the other arm draped around your knees with his palm landing on your thigh. You laid your head on his shoulder, softly closing your eyes. “This is all I ever needed.”
He placed a kiss on the top of your head before leaning forward to grab the remote to the movie followed by his bowl. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
You nodded your head. “In a minute.”
He giggled as he began to eat his noodles with you still wrapped around him. You really had every intention of eating dinner with your boyfriend, but the next thing you knew, it was morning and you were waking up to your boyfriend stoking you’re hair, still both on the couch.
“We’re a couple of regular party animals, huh?” You giggled at his words, looking at the table in front of you to see the only thing finished was his noodles and the tv still on the dvd menu.
Hiding the relationship was not as serious as others might have made it out to be. It felt natural actually.
The two of you were never the type to be overly affectionate.
Everytime you saw other people's PDA, it felt weird and you wondered why you never felt the urge to have this romantic and overly dramatic relationship.
Yoongi wasn't huge on PDA either and sometimes the secret kisses behind closed doors, the small nudges he gave you when the other members were around, and the looks that he gave you when he knew exactly what you were thinking; well it was exciting being so secretive.
It felt crazy knowing that when you first met, you thought he despised you.
The first six months of working with him were brutally silent and awkward. He made no effort to get to know you.
It took months of hanging out with the whole group multiple times, letting him get to know you through those small experiences outside of work.
Somehow he began liking you as a person and then gained the confidence to open up.
He just needed time to read you, time to decide if he wanted to be your friend. Ultimately he wanted you to be his.
"You know when we were in the practice room and I saw you DJ for the first time, I thought that was pretty hot." He chuckled.
"Shut up." You laughed, pushing his chair away from yours.
"No, really. I thought it was cool. I didn't expect it at all" he explained. "I think that's when I first realized how much I like you."
"That day? That moment?" You grinned.
Since then you had overseen the music played in the dance room multiple times whenever the others wanted to mess around and have fun.
You had an extensive grasp on most genres regarding what songs were popular. Hoseok's music taste was actually the closest to yours when it came to hip hop and dance hall.
But you recalled the first day Yoongi was there, laughing as 3J and Jin tried their shot at EDM and Latino hits with their impromptu choreography. He never said anything to you that day but now that he was revealing his thoughts, he did seem a bit more relaxed that day around you.
"I guess it was one of the many moments." He shrugged.
"Tell me more." You eagerly hugged your knees and waited.
"When you took care of me that time I got sick. Things were still awkward then, but that's when I knew that you were a good person."
That day was scary because everyone had gone home.
....
He was sleeping in his studio for a long time. You heard him complaining that it was too hot and he wasn't the type to talk out loud when he was alone.
When you walked in that's when you noticed his blue lips and his skin was paler than ever.
"Yoongi." You wanted to touch his forehead but physical contact would be weird and uncomfortable for him especially.
"Oh, Y/N." He said with a weird sniffle.
His voice was coarse.
"Sit down." You only touched his arm. "Are you feeling sick? I think you're dehydrated."
"Hm? Oh yeah. I pulled an all nighter and I started feeling weird about an hour ago?" He said as he laid down instead.
He was definitely tired.
You ran out to get some water and by the time you got back he was asleep. However, getting water into his system again was important.
"Yoongi..." You tapped his shoulder.
Nothing...
"Yoongi, you need water." You said loudly.
"You're right." He said waking up and sitting up as if nothing happened.
You chuckled at his response.
"Thanks." He said chugging down the whole bottle.
"You need to drink another two bottles."
"I'm really tired." He sighed.
"I'm sorry." You said, partly because he seemed so exhausted and on the verge of crying, but also because of what you were about to do.
"For what?" He asked.
You pinched the back of his hand and he gasped.
His eyes widened and he looked at you like you were crazy. When you gave him the second bottle, his face turned sour and but he willingly drank it.
"Have you ever been dehydrated before?" You asked, contemplating whether or not you should call a doctor.
"How do you know I'm dehydrated?" He asked.
"Look." You pulled out a small compact mirror from your bag.
He saw his reflection and proceeded to rub his fingers over his lips as he was in disbelief at their blue-purple like color.
"This has never happened before. Am I okay?" He asked.
"You will be after drinking some more water. I'll run to the store and get some melon so you can have something in your system before going to sleep. You'll be sleeping for a long time."
"Ahh really? Hurry back."
You nodded. "Finish the water."
Once again he fell asleep by the time you got back and instead of waking him up again you decided to let him rest.
The water bottles you left were empty but just to be on the safe side, and to prevent any future job loss, you stayed in the studio with him, pulled your own all-nighter to make sure he made it through the small health crisis.
The color of his lips returned after a couple of minutes. His hands were tucked between his legs as he pouted in his sleep.
You felt sorry for him.
How exhausted he must have been and how negligent he was being. In the early morning hours you felt that the danger had passed. He was seemingly dreaming a bit more soundly.
You left a note telling him to take better care of himself and to eat a good breakfast.
The next time you saw him he greeted you with a smile.
.....
"That's when you started trusting me?"
"I shouldn't have." He said sarcastically, even adding in a sigh.
"Why?" You giggled and pulled his chair closer again.
He gave you a soft smile and reached for your hand. "I can never get rid of you now. Ever."
"Why?" You straddled him and placed your forehead against his, leaning in closer.
"Because I love you." His lips said before kissing you softly.
You smirked. "Well aren't you sweet? Suga Suga," you began to sing.
He gently pushed your face away from his and rolled his eyes. You laughed as you got off of him and continued to work.
Some days, like today, you both felt a little more soft for each other, while on other days you guys hardly kissed.
It was fine that way. It was just your style.
His mere presence was enough to make you content. It was just the same for him.
You didn't even have to talk about it. You guys just knew what days were soft hours and what days weren't.
On days when he was in a bad mood, he actually felt bad for neglecting you the entire day but you reminded him that you understood exactly what he was doing.
He was putting all his worries aside and burying them for another day.
He didn't want to risk taking things out on you, and he didn't want to talk about his issues.
Not because you weren't a support for him but because he hated worrying you.
Something you discouraged him from doing often, but every once in a while he just wanted to escape. He wanted to forget about every thing that made him upset.
During those rare times, he was up for absolutely anything. He even came to a club once, and watched you DJ.
DJ-ing wasn't a regular thing you did however.
That night the owner just thought you were legit since you were a foreigner and the current DJ was apparently more wasted than usual. He let you take over the set and Yoongi was right next to you getting drunk and having the time of his life. Of course he was incognito behind a mask and a cap. Every hair was tucked in and he had no makeup on.
He was your security for the night, you told the owner, but no one in the club gave him a second glance. They were there to get drunk and party in hopes of landing a one night stand.
He stood right next to you and danced as he took shot after shot. The man could hold his liquor, but by the end of the night, he was a stumbling mess. You had to help him walk and it was the first time you had seen him so wasted. He just talked about how much he loved you and it was great.
The next morning you knew he would pretend like nothing happened. Only later on would he tell you what was on his mind. Only after you guys had created a fun memory together.
....
"It's me, open up." He said through the door.
There was no text, no warning that he was coming. No explanation as to why he was at your house so late.
It was the first time he came over past 7PM but without hesitation you opened the door.
You could sense his anger. It radiated off of him in the most unnatural way. He wasn't one to get angry. It was very difficult to make him angry.
Yoongi was a serious person and things annoyed him easily but anger wasn't an emotion that he expressed a lot.
"Can I stay here?" He asked, looking into your eyes, kind of pleading silently.
"Of course." You held his face in your hands. "Yoongi, you never have to ask."
He wrapped his arms around your waist and said, "Don't ask me anything."
You kissed him and remained silent as you pulled him towards your bed. Despite it being the first time he would be laying on your bed, you weren't nervous or anxious. He just needed to rest. He was temporarily escaping his life.
The only thing going through your mind was making him feel better somehow, but right now he just needed your company.
As you both laid there, tucked under the covers, he stroked your hair.
"Thanks." He said so low you almost didn't hear him.
It was agonizing because you loved when his voice was so deep and quiet but he was too quiet right now.
"For what?" You asked.
"For everything." He said.
"I didn't do anything." You replied, amused.
He just smirked, giving you a look of disbelief, as if you were being silly.
"Goodnight." He said kissing your forehead.
You wondered how he could say that when it was obviously not a good night for him.
The next morning you were awake and making breakfast in your tiny apartment. It very much resembled a hotel room. From your kitchen you could see him sleeping. How small it must feel compared to his place with the guys.
The smell of bacon had surely woken him up.
He sleepily walked on over and kissed your cheek.
"You're coffee." You handed him an iced Americano.
He sat down by a plate of eggs, bacon and toast with yellow cheese.
"This feels very New York like." He said feeling pleased.
"New Yorker Min Yoongi. I can just imagine the when the two of us are there just going about our day."
"Maybe one day, when I'm old and unrecognizable." He said with a small chuckle.
"Even if we're not together anymore, promise me you won't get a tour guide to show you around. I have to be the one to show you."
"Yeah, even if you hate my guts I'll phone you. Just remember that you promised to show me around." He agreed.
He was definitely in a better mood.
You sat next to him and happily watched him eat. He asked if this was the typical New York breakfast, not an American breakfast but something that is so typically New York like dirty water hot dogs.
"Yes, you would go to a deli and order a bacon, egg and cheese."
"Just one of each?" He interrupted, seemingly puzzled.
"No." You giggled. "That's how you literally say the order but it's an order of a bagel with bacon, egg, and cheese. Or you can get it on a roll of bread. If you just say 'bacon, egg and cheese' they'll put it on a bagel." You explained. "I didn't really have it everyday but many people do. So many people that there are small carts on almost every other corner every morning."
"Just for that?"
"Yeah, and coffee and donuts."
"Ahh....so like a cafe on wheels."
"Exactly. It's super cheap and even high school students could afford a good breakfast on a daily basis."
"This combination is good." He took a huge bite out of his breakfast sandwich. "I should come over every morning."
"Or every night." You quickly added.
He smirked but then he became more serious. "I'm sorry I came without texting or calling first."
"No, don't apologize. Just come over more often, at anytime. I'll give you the spare key."
"Or you could just...move in with me."
"At the dorm?"
He shook his head immediately. "No, why would you even think that." He chuckled. "Why would you ever want to?"
"We can't keep it a secret from them forever."
He turned his body and faced you, making you do the same as he took your hands. "I know but living with seven guys? They would drive you crazy. I meant like, in the same building. I can get you a place. No one would know about it. Only I will. That way we can see each other without having to worry. I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm not just bringing it up randomly."
You looked down, slightly embarrassed. "A place? I don't know. That's a lot of money. Your dorm is in one of the priciest buildings in Seoul. We talked about the money thing..."
Although you had your own money, and enough to get a decent place in Seoul, you had nothing compared to his millions. You didn't feel embarrassed about having less money than he does, actually, it was that it felt weird when he made huge purchases on things you didn't need.
"I have more than I know what to do with. Isn't that what girls look for?" He scoffed sarcastically.
"Yeah, apparently." You laughed.
"If you let me do this for you, then I promise we can tell the guys what's going on."
"And if I don't do this?" You challenged him.
You knew he didn't mean it as the only way to get him to tell the guys about the relationship.
"Then I promise we'll tell them regardless. Are you feeling hurt about hiding it for so long?" He squeezed your hands, urging you to be honest.
You looked at the thin silver bracelet around his left wrist and adored how simple yet perfect it looked on him along with the ring on his right hand.
"Yeah," you said nervously. "It's just getting harder and harder to lie to them you know? They're my friends."
He gave you a gummy smile. "They're my family." He nodded. "I get it. It is getting harder to keep it a secret."
The only reason why it was still a secret was to protect your image from the rest of the staff who would be quick to judge your position in the company. However, lately it wasn't such a huge worry because you got along with everyone, and they too were people you considered friends now.
"Next week then?" He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
It was a surprisingly gentle and affectionate move. Maybe one of the only ones you wished he would do everyday.
You nodded, feeling a wave of nerves and excitement. "How do you think they'll react?"
The image in your head was clear. Hoseok would be shocked, Namjoon would just smile and nod, Jimin and Taehyung would freak like the biggest tea was just spilled, Jin would plot ways to embarrass you guys on the daily and Jungkook wouldn't know what to say.
Nonetheless, they would all be okay with it right?
Nothing would change really. The two of you would still be very discreet and private.
Yoongi was kind of nervously excited too. His smile became adorably soft as he explained how he thought they would react, which was spot on with your thoughts.
Everything felt so weird in that moment. Things were going well. You just hoped they stayed well. In the back of your mind you were always afraid of things turning out bad. That feeling usually came when you were very happy. Right now you took it as a sign. It was okay to be happy you reminded yourself.
________
He was wasted again, passed out on the couch.
"Wake up." You nudged him and he rolled over.
There was no life in his eyes.
"Babe, wake up." You dropped down to your knees and listened for his breathing.
It was unsteady but his pulse was there. He was just too out of it. It would be hours before he came back.
Upset, you searched through his pockets until you found the pills he stupidly craved. Then you flushed them down the toilet.
He could easily get more, that was the most infuriating part. His friends, his team, they were all about making sure the party never ended. At this point he was completely high on cocaine, ecstasy, percocets, who know what else, at ever show.
To stop him from doing the hardcore stuff, you sometimes smoked weed with him so that he would feel like you guys were doing something together but it became too much to handle overtime.
Fight after fight, things had changed for the worse in your eyes but his career was taking off. He was doing what he loved. But at what cost?
"Stop it!" He yelled, pinning you down onto the bed. "You know I can't do this without you. I love you. How can you just say you want to quit?"
"Don't lie to me. I know you cheated. You cheated on me. On me **** !!" You tried to move your arms and get away but his hands pinned your wrists down so hard against the mattress. Infuriated, you began to sob, turning your face away from him.
"No, no nothing happened. Those were just groupies. I kicked them out within half an hour, I was still fucking conscious. They were all over Brian, I swear. I know I'm a shit person but you're the only thing that I can't lose. I know this hasn't been what you expected. I know, but you know what we agreed to before. The moment we stop feeling something we say it. You remember?"
You just continued to cry.
"I haven't stopped feeling anything and you haven't either. So just stop. Stop saying that I'm doing wrong by you when I'm just trying to deal."
"By fucking around everyday and getting so fucked up you can't even get through one recording? This all ends if there's no progress on the next album. We have one month to finish."
"I don't need you telling me every fucking day. I know we have to get it done but they can extend the tour and wait. They won't fire me."
"They'll fire me!" You exclaimed. "They can hire a new producer anytime they want."
"So fucking what!? You can still stay with me on tour. You don't have to worry about anything. Just stop worrying about everything already." He yelled back. "I said I would take care of you."
"Because my job means nothing right? I made you. I produced your album. Ever since you signed with the label things have gone to shit." You took a deep breath and tried not to whimper as you sobbed. "You're always on something. Everyone's always on something. I haven't seen you sober in months."
"Things aren't as easy as they used to be, you know that. Yes, you can say you made me, it's true, but I don't need you anymore in terms of my career. That sounds shitty but it's the truth and it sucks because I need you by my side anyways. I need you Y/N. I can't do this without you. Even when I'm fucked up, I just feel happy that I can see you. It sucks when you hide away. When I'm on something I don't hurt you. No, you hurt me every time you give me that look, like you're ashamed, like I mean nothing to you in that moment."
"It's not that. You guys get too crazy together. Those girls that were supposedly strippers, remember? Do you know how that made me feel? Do you know how stupid I felt? Your friends didn't give a fuck that you have a girlfriend."
"I didn't know they were prostitutes. I didn't stay for the show. You know that." He said.
"But situations like that can get you in trouble. You can get arrested if you, or they, push things too far. You know this. The label won't take an arrest lightly, even if you are their star right now."
"Since when did you become so cold? Stop making us the bad guys here. You don't make an effort to get to know them. It's obvious to everyone that you don't like them."
"I don't want to know them. I don't trust them." You replied. "I know the kind of people they are, and I know you but you're changing."
"You changed too." He said, exasperated. "Don't say you haven't. Sometimes I can't even kiss you. I can hardly touch you anymore. I've given you no reason to be scared of me."
"I'm scared for you. How can I just sit back and watch you self destruct? I know it's hard. This isn't everything we thought it would be, I know, but we're both falling apart, don't you see that?"
"Don't you see that you're the one who's pushing me away? You stopped caring first."
"Why would you think that?"
"It's part of the reason I started using again." He sighed, letting go of your arms and letting you sit up again.
The look on his face showed his deepest worries for the first time in days. Yes, that was the face you were so used to before. It was honest. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sometimes I wish we never made it big. Failing together would have been much easier."
Then you realized that he regretted everything. He held regret in his heart and that was his worst fear. He used to say that all the time. His worst fear was feeling like things could have gone better if he could just change the past.
"Babe..." You got closer to him.
He looked up at you as you wrapped your arms around him. His hands held your waist but it wasn't a sturdy grasp like usual. His grip was weak. He seemed defeated.
You lowered your head to kiss him and instantly you felt that ache in your chest. That yearning love your felt for him pushed all your thoughts away.
And somehow you just knew that he felt the same way. He was desperate for your touch. It had been months since the last time. Just one night held everything together again for a while. Only for a while.
A shrill scream erupted in the small apartment. Jarring and incredibly harsh, the noise pierced my ear drum and drew me away from the manuscript I was editing to find my boyfriend’s dog jetting down the hall to avoid the grabby hands of the two-year-old that was hot on his tail. She screamed happily again, two lop-sided pig tails bouncing along with her as she turned the corner into my bedroom.
“Sol! Leave Holly alone!” I ordered throwing myself out of the chair to chase after the reckless child.
In the bedroom, I found the girl struggling to crawl under the bed, her little legs kicking behind her pathetically. I reached for her and pulled her out, another scream emerging until I had her in my arms. She struggled trying to make me drop her, but I wrapped her tightly in my grip until she stopped wiggling.
“I want to play with the doggy!” she whined.
“Not under the bed,” I replied.
I carried her out of the room leaving poor Holly to cower under the bed where he often disappeared to when Sol was around. He had been more courageous early in the day because she was sick and hardly moving, but when afternoon came the poor thing had to run for his life. I only hoped he’d stay down there until his dad came home, then maybe I’d be able to get some work done.
“You’re mean to me!” she grumbled when I plopped her down on the couch where she had spent most of her morning.
Toys laid in messy heaps around her, her blanket a crumpled mess in the farthest corner. I had given her my tablet to watch cartoons on when she had woken from a fitful nap, but she had seemed to have grown bored with them. Now I scooped the tablet up and extended it to her, a mindless game set and ready for her to play. She squealed seemingly forgetting that I was the worst person in existence as she took it. I only chuckled at her change in attitude and went back to work.
She had arrived at seven in the morning nestled in her father’s arms with a low fever, a runny nose, and a painful cough. Her dad, one of my boyfriend’s closest friends and an only father, had begged me to watch her for the day while he was at work and even though I reassured him that she would be fine, I felt the same anxious worry when she slept through the morning with only small coughs to interrupt the silence. She was strong, though, and by noon was feeling well enough to chase poor Holly around the apartment. Even though it made it harder to work, I was so grateful to see her bounding around with energy.
“Holly’s not gonna like you anymore if you keep chasing him like that,” I teased, eyeing her over my shoulder for just a moment.
Sol’s bright eyes looked at me fleetingly; her little fingers tapping tapping tapping the screen of the tablet as violently as she could, as if hurting it would hurt me. I chuckled a little, watching her face scrunch up at the sound and couldn’t help how much she reminded me of her father.
Like Hoseok, little Sol was a bright bundle of sunshine that made anyone smile just by looking at her. She laughed at almost everything and never let anyone bring her down. She had an attitude though, and an air of charisma that was hard to miss. She was the carbon copy of her father and for that I was happy. The world always needed more Hoseoks.
I decided to leave her be and returned to my work trying to remember what I was doing before Holly’s misadventure. The manuscript I was reading was a medical drama that was filled with chaos, petty fighting, and a smidge of medical terminology to remind the reader that the characters were, in fact, trained surgeons. Reading and re-reading three pages gave me no indicator of where I was and I knew I was about to lose the fragile quiet in the apartment when I heard the lock turning on the front door, aware that Sol’s favorite uncle was about to enter the room.
“Uncle Yoongi!” she screamed happily and I turned just in time to see her scramble off the couch, her tiny legs struggling to reach the floor.
Yoongi stepped into the apartment with a bright smile directed at the little girl scampering towards him as he slipped out of his shoes. He threw his arms out and crouched down just in time to catch her, her own little arms wrapping tightly around his neck as she squealed again. Yoongi’s gummy smile appeared front and center on that gorgeous face of his. He was happiest when he could come home after a long day and see his favorite niece, especially when he got to hold her in his arms.
“Who let this little mouse into the apartment?” He said in a childish tone that entertained Sol to no end.
“Uncle Yoongi I’m not a mouse!” Sol screeched.
Yoongi laughed at the little girl in his arms and scrunched up his face. “A bunny then?”
“No! That’s Uncle Kookie!” she whined. “I’m Sol!”
“Sol?” he squinted in confusion. “What’s Sol doing here? This isn’t her house!”
“My daddy brought me because I was sick.” She gave a small sniffle for effect.
The attempt made Yoongi laugh. “You don’t look sick!”
“I am! I’ve been very sick!” She declared then graced me with her stare as she demanded: “Tell him!”
“Hey,” Yoongi tapped her head with his nose, “Is that any way to speak to someone older than you?”
Sol wasn’t looking at me but I knew the pout she gave Yoongi at the scolding. I pushed myself out of my chair and approached the two, trying to keep my calm when all I wanted was to be in his arms, too. “She’s mad because I didn’t let her chase Holly under the bed.”
Yoongi mimicked Sol’s pout. “Were you being mean to Holly again?”
“I just wanted to play!” she defended.
“Play? You’re supposed to be sick!”
“I am I am I am!”
“Why don’t you look sick then?”
Her eyes twinkled. “Because you’re here, Uncle Yoongi!”
“Am I the perfect medicine then?” Sol and I both made a similar face of disgust and Sol shook her head at Yoongi’s affectionate gummy smile. He looked between the both of us as if waiting for us to get the joke, before finally scrunching up his face too. “You’re right, that was corny.”
I laughed. “You sounded like Jin.”
Sol frowned. “You sounded like dad.”
“Last time I try to be funny,” he pouted shuffling his way towards the toy-strewn couch.
I watched him carry the small girl and hid my smirk as he complained about all the toys and seriously, Sol, why is this one doll nearly headless? The light giggle that came from her warmed my heart. The tug at Yoongi’s lips showed that it warmed his, too. He cleared a space for both and plopped down, a pleased sigh leaving his lips as his tired body sank into the cushions.
“Hoseok didn’t leave with you?” I asked making my way back to my chair.
“He was staying at the studio for a while longer,” Yoongi replied distractedly paying attention to another toy Sol had picked up to show him. “Should be here in another hour or two.”
I smiled. “Lot of work?”
Yoongi eyed me. “Not as much as you.”
“Someone’s been keeping me busy.”
He looked between me and Sol for a minute before he scooped the girl into his arms and nestled his nose into her hair. She laughed and screamed, two things she seemed to always be doing, before Yoongi pulled away.
“Sol, why don’t we watch a movie?” he asked the small girl then looked up to me with a hint of a smile. “Let’s send the meanie into the room so we aren’t bothered, ok?”
Sol happily agreed and so did I, thankful for Yoongi and his ability to distract her with colorful things.
I gathered my stuff and carried them off into the room where Holly had found himself nestled in the pillows just far enough from the door to make a quick get-away. He relaxed more comfortably when I closed the door behind me and sat next to him, his tiny body snuggling up right next to mine. I could hear Yoongi and Sol deciding what to watch from the other room.
It was adorable how quickly Yoongi softened for her. Ever since the day she was born, he had been enamored with her, often refusing to return her to her rightful father until Hoseok threatened to take away his Sol privileges. He was just as protective, too, and just as anxious and nervous when she was sick. I had to fight with both men when Sol was dropped off in the morning, encouraging them to go to work because Sol would be in good hands. Only because it was me, they said, and I teased them throughout the day for it.
Finally able to work, I managed to get through more than half of the manuscript before my eyes started aching from staring at the screen. Holly had scampered off to his bed and remained there when I opened the bedroom door. I made my way into the living room stretching and groaning and found my boyfriend passed out on the couch with Sol nestled softly against his chest. The sight gave me pause, a smile tugging at my lips as I admired them both imagining that, for just a moment, Yoongi was holding our own little girl in his arms as they both watched TV.
The thought made my heart swell anxiously, a feeling I had pushed away more than once. I wondered how Yoongi would act with a child of his own. If his interactions with Sol were any indicator, Yoongi would make an amazing and caring father. He would entertain all ideas his child had, would do anything in his power to make them happy. He would treat them like they were royalty making sure that they felt loved every day. They would be everything to him.
And they would make him so happy.
The sound of a knock made all three of us jump, Yoongi and Sol dragged from their comfortable sleep. I opened the door and found a tired Hoseok already moving his body into the apartment before I even had a chance to say hello. He didn’t even bother to kick off his shoes as he b-lined straight for his little girl who was extending her arms up to him sleepily.
“How’s my baby girl feeling?” he cooed when he finally had her in his arms.
“I was sleeping,” she murmured.
“Dad’s sorry he had to wake you up, but it’s time to go home,” he said softly.
Yoongi began gathering Sol’s stuff in the backpack she had come with and handed Hoseok her blanket for him to wrap her up in. Sol had her head nestled on her father’s shoulder comfortably falling back asleep as the two men worked. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the medicine he had brought and returned to the living room to find Hoseok nearly out the door. He returned, a sheepish smile gracing his lips as I slipped the medicine into the backpack he carried.
“Thank you so much,” he sighed as he stepped out. “Seriously, I owe you my life.”
“Lunch will work,” I laughed and waved goodbye at the sleepy girl I adored.
“Bye bye,” she murmured as Hoseok carried her away.
Shutting the door, I sighed and allowed my body to relax in the quiet peacefulness. Arms wrapped themselves around me, a nose pressed into the crook of my neck, and soft lips smoothed over the spot just below my ear. I sunk into Yoongi’s embrace.
“Hi,” he whispered.
I laughed and turned in his arms throwing my own arms around his neck to drag him closer for a proper kiss. Gently, I pressed against him happy to feel his lips eagerly moving with mine but felt an urgency when his hands slowly dipped under the hem of my shirt to run feather touches up my spine. I tilted my head just so bringing the kiss much deeper, but he pulled away just before the fun began.
“Why were you staring at us?” he questioned with a light in his heavy-lidded eyes.
“I wasn’t staring.” I tried ending the conversation with another kiss, but he backed away again.
“I saw you staring at us,” He laughed. “You were day dreaming so you didn’t notice, but I saw you.”
The blush crept up my cheeks before I could stop it. I didn’t want to tell Yoongi what I had been thinking about when I saw him holding Sol like that. We had talked about having kids, sure, but it never made it past a few jokes about how bad we would be as parents. I was embarrassed to bring it up now.
To my surprise, Yoongi kissed my reddened cheeks, one after the other while his touch returned feather light up and down my spine. “Please tell me.”
I bit my lip, his words melting my resolve, and I let my hands glide over the buttons of his white shirt to keep them from fidgeting.
“I was thinking about you holding our baby.”
His movements stammered to a halt until he dropped his arms to his sides leaving me completely open for him. I kept my head down, too nervous to look up.
“What?” his voice deepened.
The blood rushed higher until I felt it touching my hairline while my heart hammered away in my chest. I never liked talking about these things; I always felt too open, too vulnerable. But it was Yoongi. It was my Yoongi. I pressed my forehead against his chest.
“I’m sorry I just-“ I stammered through suffocating breaths. “I don’t know. You’re so sweet with Sol and you love her so much. I was just wondering what you would be like with a baby of your own.”
The lack of a response had me regretting every word. He remained perfectly still under me with his arms held tightly against his body. If it weren’t for the vicious sound of his beating heart, I would have worried he’d turned to stone.
After a minute, his hands softly wrapped around my arms and pulled me away from him. His expression was stoic, but I could tell from the energy in his eyes that he was on the verge of combusting. I just didn’t know from what.
“Really?” he muttered, his voice hoarse.
I turned my gaze to the ceiling. “I know, it’s lame.”
“It’s not lame.” Carefully, he brushed his thumb across my chin and pulled my face back down to meet his gaze. He was still on pinpricks, but his expression was warm. “Babe, you know I want kids. I want our kids. But we both need to be ready for that before we take that step.”
His silent words were still heard. I was always the one who wasn’t ready. I thought again of how happy Yoongi looked when he came home, how excited he had been to see Sol running to him with open arms. But in my mind, happy Sol was replaced with a more petite girl grinning up with the exact same mischievous smile I saw on Yoongi all the time.
“We’re financially stable, right?”
His eyes brows pulled together. “I-I think so.”
“And we love each other.” I shrugged. “I mean we’re not married, but that’s just because we don’t see the point.”
He squinted curiously. “Right.”
“But we could get married, if we needed to.”
A smile began to form.
“Sure.”
“I mean, a kid’s not a total buzz kill,” I muttered. His arms snuck around my waist. “Hoseok’s still pretty cool.”
“The coolest.” It was a full-blown grin now.
I resisted the urge to attack him with kisses again very aware that I needed to say this before I chickened out. “Our kid would be the best.”
He pressed his lips against my neck right above the frantic pulsing of my heart. He gave a soft nibble then moved to press his lips just above my ear.
“Would you please just say it.” His voice was hoarse again.
I took a minute to compose myself and pulled away from him. If I was going to say this, I was damn well going to be making eye contact while I did. The anxious feeling took over again, but I let it sit in my chest until it felt more like excitement.
I smiled and nodded. “I think I’m ready.”
“Oh, fuck, finally.”
He pushed me until my back hit the door and devoured every breath I had with his desperate mouth. My hands burned to touch every inch of his body that I could reach, my head clamoring with how right everything now felt. I was Yoongi’s and Yoongi was mine. It had been pointless to postpone this for so long.
He broke away and clawed at the hem of my shirt, but stopped himself before getting it off. Eyeing me through his bangs, his lips tugged up in an endearing smile. “I love you.”
I didn’t have to say it back, because he already knew.
So this is my first time creating fake snaps and I loved it a lot. I hope you love it as well, because I plan to make this a series. Feel free to request things from me as I always want something to do! If you are confused about whose snap is whose I will be putting that underneath the cut and thanks for looking at this!~Rin
↳summary: After your neighbor Yoongi finds out your date canceled on you, the shy male takes the opportunity to ask you out.
↳paring: yoongi x (p.o.c) foreign reader
↳genre: fluff
↳w/c: 1k (one-shot)
↳a/n: This one-shot is part of the, The girl you like just got dumped and is crying, what would you do? series, and how I think Yoongi would react in this situation. Enjoy!
♡
The day you moved into the apartment across the hall from Yoongi, he immediately noticed you were a foreigner. With the way your hair naturally curled in ways he hadn't seen before, smooth skin that reminded him of his favorite caramel candy and plump pink lips that caused his body to stiffen shyly whenever you directed a neighborly smile in his direction.
Yoongi didn't run into you often, but when he did, He'd make it a habit to sprint past you to open the building door for you or help you up the stairs with your heavy bags of groceries. Sure, Yoongi was quite the chivalrous guy, but he used that to his advantage, finding any excuse to have the smallest of encounters with you as his modest infatuation grew stronger.
Stepping into the apartment complex after checking his mail, Yoongi's head perks up at the sound of your keys jiggling, locking your apartment door. Your luscious hair suited in a curly half-up, half-down style, thick lashes painted with a few coats of mascara, along with lips highlighted with the prettiest shade of pink. Distracted by your beauty, Yoongi blinks observantly upon gazing at you.
It was then you noticed your handsome neighbor's onyx eyes on you, a kind smile stretching across your honey cheeks. "Does this look okay?" You ask, turning to give Yoongi, full view of your outfit. An attire consisting of a black leather jacket, white blouse, skinny jeans that hugged around your curves followed by your favorite pair of brown autumn boots. "This will be my first date here in Korea, and I wasn't trying to overdo it, but now I'm worried this is too casual." Your brows furrow together nervously.
"Uh..." Yoongi catches himself staring at you a little too long, releasing an awkward cough in attempts to play it cool. "Y-yeah," He nods, self-consciously unable to keep eye contact. "You look great. He'll like it." He gulps down the anxiousness scratching at the back of his throat.
Yoongi's compliment causes your heart to flutter and cheeks to grow warm. Even though you hadn't known your neighbor for long, you find yourself noticing the little things about him, and you're desperate to ask him over for coffee and a conversation, but for some reason, you could never manage the words. "Thanks." You bashfully place a stray curl behind your ear.
"You're welcome," Yoongi answers back too quickly, and he mentally wants to slap himself for sounding so eager to respond.
Even though you'd much rather spend your time having a conversation with Yoongi than going on a date with a guy you met online, you were in a bit of a time crunch and didn't want to be late. "I better get going." You speak unenthusiastically, shoving your phone and keys into your back pocket.
Brisking past Yoongi, he gets an enchanting whiff of your vanilla-scented perfume, wishing he was fortunate enough, being the one to date you. "Good luck, __." His tone, a bit weak with emotion but still wanting to cheer you on.
Before disappearing down the stairwell, you gaze up at Yoongi, taking in the delicate features of his ivory skin, jet hooded eyes, soft lips, and button nose. "Thanks, Yoongi." You speak softly with a smile before exiting the building.
♡
With nothing better to do on a Friday evening, Yoongi thought it best he'd spend his time cleaning. In doing so, he managed to tidy up the bathroom, unload the laundry, and start the dishwasher. The only thing left was the growing pile of trash that may or may not have been sitting unattended for a few more days than normal. "Alright, let's go." Yoongi pre-talks himself as he gathers the bags together.
When he steps into the hallways to take out the garbage, he notices something out the corner of his eye, you. Your once cheerful smile now shaped into a frown, head cast down with shoulders dropped in defeat.
Only an hour had passed since you left for your date, leaving no possible way you could be returning so quickly. "What happened?" A trickle of concern for your anguish state, hiding behind Yoongi's question.
You look up and notice Yoongi, hooded eyes widened with worry. You didn't want to admit it since you were embarrassed, but it was Yoongi of all people, a neighbor you could trust to be honest with. "He canceled." You confessed, sorrow in your tone. "I guess I wasn't so lucky." You manage to pull yourself up the stairs, taking out your keys to escape into the comfort of your apartment.
Yoongi felt his chest tighten upon observing your saddened state. What man in their right mind would cancel on a girl like you? If it were him, Yoongi would show up 30 minutes early just to make sure you wouldn't be waiting long. If it were him, Yoongi would take you to his favorite restaurant for takeout and take you to a quiet place in the park to eat. If it were him, Yoongi would give you his jacket, just to make sure you didn't get cold on the walk back home. "H-How about...me?" finally managing to overcome his insecurities, Yoongi knew it was now or never.
Your heart jumps in your chest, almost causing you to drop your keys. With lashes fluttering, you turn around to face Yoongi, wondering if you even heard him correctly. "W-what?" Your question with a bit of hesitation in your tone.
"I mean..." Feeling a buildup of nerves; Yoongi rubs at the back of his neck, preparing his body for your possible rejection. "How about you go on a date with me?" Onyx eyes shyly fixated on the floor.
You're silent for a moment, processing the situation; never thinking your timid neighbor -you just so happened to have a crush on-, would ask you out. A smile pulls across your lips, and the distress of your canceled date vanishes as if it were never there. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Yoongi." You respond sweetly.
Yoongi's head pokes up, eyes large from shock with thick eyebrows arched. "Really?" he hates that he even questions your reply, but he had to truly make sure you meant what you said.
"Mhm." You nod with a blooming blush across your cheeks. "We can go now if you want."
The male felt a jolt of warm electricity spike throughout his body at your eagerness to want to be with him. "Yeah, we can go now..." Only to realize Yoongi asked you out while a bag of smelly trash was in his hand. "Oh, a-ah..." He chuckles embarrassedly with a stutter. "I um, have to take this to the dumpster, and then we can go," Scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
You giggle at Yoongi's sheepish demeanor, finding him endearing as always. "We can take the trash out together." You put your keys back in your pocket and start down the stairs. "And then we can go on our date." Your smile, as bright as the sun.
Yoongi felt a warmth spread across his chest as you gazed at your glowing aura, almost unable to believe this was even real. You wave for him to hurry down the stairs, and dumpling cheeks breakout into a gummy smile. "Coming." He responds, happy to be the one taking you out on your first date in Korea.
“Why are you throwing your uniform out?!” She yelled out.
“Because I got fired, why do you care!?” You stormed out, annoyed and confused.
All this time she wanted you to quit and now she questioned you throwing out your own uniform? It made no sense. She was just there, high as fuck while watching cartoons as if she was watching them with the daughter she never had; the daughter she wished you were.
Sometimes she pretended to pat a little girl’s head right next to her, but there was no one here. When she looked at you all you saw was disappointment.
Your real home was the convenience store five blocks away, open 24 hours a day and the owner was a kind old lady who let you grab a bunch of extra stuff for free.
She obviously knew that you had some pocket change from working, but she also knew that you were basically holding down whatever food and bills you could in order to keep living with your mom and her current boyfriend in that run down apartment complex.
Too many times you came running into the store, angry, crying, or upset at the world, all while hoping you could get something to eat with the few measly dollars you had left in your pocket.
She was kind and yet you never knew her name.
Unfortunately she wasn’t always at the counter, other times it was Ian, a pretentious grad student that liked to play boss.
He was there when you stormed in one night.
“Shh.” He said, not looking up from his newspaper.
“You have a fucking bell on the door, how can I be any more quiet.” You replied, heading straight towards the back to get a cup of ice and water.
He watched you closely as you approached the drink machine and you held up your cup after filling it up, proving to him that it was indeed water.
Yoongi was already sitting at a table in the back, tiny spoon in hand as he ate some ice cream.
He got up and took the cup from your hands, poured the water out and refilled it with sprite. He took a couple bags of chips from the stand and a pack of gummy worms before heading over to Ian.
You sat down at the table and sighed as he came back and placed your snacks in front of you.
“Thanks.” You met his eyes and wondered if he pitied you.
I didn’t feel like it. It never did.
He just nodded and pushed him ice cream towards you.
“I’ll trade you my ice cream for a bag of chips.” He said.
You smiled. “It’s all yours anyways, you paid for it.”
You accepted his ice cream and he popped open the bag of chips and gummy worms so that you guys could share easily.
“You know, sometimes I think you pity me.” You told him, curious as to what he would say.
His eyes narrowed in thought for a moment and his lips pursed out a little as he tilted his head slightly.
“Maybe I just understand you.” He said.
“Me?”
“How you feel, I mean.” He corrected before taking a bite of his gummy worm.
“And how do I feel?” You asked.
“Angry, upset,...sad. It’s always a mix.” He said accurately.
“What’s going on with you?” You asked, knowing he was probably describing how he felt too and that he probably come here for the same reason you did; to feel at home.
“Nothing that won’t blow over soon enough. What about you? Why did you swing the door open and scare the shit out of Ian, like that? I never saw a hand reach for a phone so fast.”
“You think he’d call the cops on me?” You bit your lip. “Well he would actually, any chance he could get probably....”
Yoongi laughed, and every time he laughed your eyes snapped back to his face, to take in everything that made him look so amused.
“Did you get fired?” He finally asked.
“Yeah...you noticed as soon as I walked in didn’t you?”
“As soon as I saw that you weren’t wearing your uniform anymore.”
“Someone threw up in the bathroom and I was supposed to clean it up, so I hid in the theaters until someone else had to do it.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t just walk out. I’ll look around for signs, I’m sure we’ll find another place that hiring soon.”
“Yeah and I’ll have to prove I’m a better choice than all the other more qualified candidates. I’ll have to fake recommendations and all that stuff again. Why is it so hard just to get a job these days? I should start selling, drugs or ass, it pays so much more. Then I could finally leave that stupid house.”
“Stay with me. My roommate just left. He got arrested and left me with nothing for rent next month, or until our lease ends. Of course, you won’t have to pay rent but we won’t get kicked out for at least another month. The lease is under his name and the owner won’t find out he’s in jail until he comes looking for the rent. By then we’ll have thought of something right?”
You didn’t say anything and he seemed worried for a moment.
“You don’t want to?”
“No, I do. I just don’t understand a lot of things.”
“Like what?” He asked.
You wanted to tell him all your crazy thoughts like, why you? Why him? Why did these kinds of things happen to the two of you? Why was life so hard at times? Or all the time, it seemed.
From what he told you, his parents had abandoned him after he began high school. He flunked out and had to make ends meet any way he could. For a while that meant working dead end jobs or selling drugs around the city to high and low class citizens. A job that got him arrested twice and now he was on probation after a fight in a bar. A fight he didn’t start but a fight he knew how to end.
He was the only one left standing once the cops arrived on scene.
“Why are you so kind to me? Even if you understood how I feel, then it means you pity me for feeling just as bad as you do. You have your own shit to take care of, I’ll just get in the way.”
He chuckled. “In order for me to feel bad for you, there has to be some sort of affection don’t you think so?...You ask me why I’m so kind but you don’t ask yourself if I might have feelings for you? That just makes me think you haven’t even thought of me as anything but a guy you see at the convenience store all the time, who buys you food just because you’re pretty.”
“I mean....I guess I just wanted to believe that there was still some good in this world. That there are some good guys out there who are just nice and don’t just want to get into your pants.” You sighed. “But you proved me wrong...I can’t say I’m surprised.”
He chuckled. “I am a good guy, for you at least.” He straightened up. “And I don’t just see you as a pretty girl. You’re different and I don’t just like that, I respect that,” he said, his tone getting more and more serious. “You know the kind of person I am. I don’t feel bad for anyone, I don’t help anyone, I don’t care about anyone, but when I see you, I forget about everything. I forget how much I hate everything. So me liking you is selfish really. You make me feel different, but in a good way, so let me help you.”
“Okay....I’ll admit that I feel the same way,...but you have to help me escape my mom’s house. She won’t be happy that I’m leaving. How else is she going to afford to keep her drug habit going if no one’s taking care of the bills or food anymore? Plus, her boyfriend has been messing her up lately. He won’t be happy that I’m leaving either. What if he hurts her real bad while I’m gone and puts the blame on me? I have to disappear from that house practically overnight. My mom’s hyperaware right now since I came home and threw my uniform out before coming here. I’m so dumb.” You groaned in anger.
“Moving only takes a day. I’ll get us a car, you pack as much as you can without being too obvious.”
“Okay. Thanks Yoongi, I have no idea what I’d be doing without you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I just want you by my side now.”
____________
For the next few days you tried to pack things up in bags, trying to be as sneaky as possible but it was so hard being home all the time. She was there and her stupid boyfriend Mike would always try to push her into making you do stuff like clean and cook. The last thing you were going to do was cook for him.
One afternoon you contemplated just leaving with nothing but a trash bag full of clothes. It was easier that way.
“I’ll pick you up tonight then.” He said through the phone after you told him you just wanted to go already.
“Okay.” You replied, quickly hanging up before she saw you on the phone.
Pretending to throw out the trash, you brought your bag full of clothes downstairs and left it behind the bins.
When you walked back upstairs, she was up and about, getting ready to go.
“Where are you going?” You asked.
“To meet Mike, why? You wanna come? Maybe you’ll catch someone’s eye, someone who likes pretty young girls.” She smiled, touching you hair.
“I don’t plan on becoming a whore, I’ll find another job soon.”
“Baby, I’m just saying. It’s easy money. You don’t want us to have to live on the streets right? You know I’m sick. I can’t work.”
“I can see that.” You shook your head, looking up and down at her skanky outfit.
“Loan me some underwear yeah?” She said making her way to your drawers.
You rushed in front of them, blocking her way. “No, they’re all in the laundry bin.”
“All of them? Who have you been fucking?” She laughed, nudging you but you didn’t move one bit.
She looked at you, confused, and then pushed you aside harshly. “Move. What are you hiding?”
You fell against the door, hitting your hip on the doorknob. You hissed at the pain but she was already looking around your room, noticing small things missing, things like your hair brush, your shoes, your jackets.
“You thought you could just leave!?” She grabbed you by the hair and dragged you downstairs.
Mike walked in a few moments later, yelling for the both of you to calm down.
“She’s running away. She wanted to leave without saying a word. After all I did for her? I raised you!!”
You laughed, “Yeah right. I raised myself, you didn’t do shit. All you’ve ever done was beat me every time you felt inferior.”
“Enough!” Mike yelled, pushing you away from her and into the kitchen counter.
You swung at him, only to hit the floor with too much force.
“Mike stop!” She yelled but he pushed her away.
“This is stupid. Go to your room if you don’t want me to beat the shit out of both of you right now!” He yelled in your face as he choked you.
You were drained of energy and just looked away, gasping for air. He quickly let go.
She was hysterical now, seeming to feel bad and she yelled at him to leave you alone.
You ran upstairs and quickly packed up anything else you could think of before opening the window. You didn’t know how but you would get down somehow. It was only two floors but it looked like it would hurt.
Again your door opened and you quickly shut the window, turning around to see Mike still furious.
“Fuck off. Just let me go. There’s money in the mattress to hold you off for another month. Pimp her out after that, I don’t care. She was cheating on you anyways.”
“I know she was.” He laughed. “But if you leave I can’t have revenge on her can I? You don’t think she loves you? Did you see the way she wanted to defend you? If I do something to you, she’ll get hurt. That’s all I’ve wanted to do since I found out she cheated.” He said getting closer.
“You cheated on each other, neither of you are innocent, but what do I care? I’m leaving. Don’t come any closer.” You growled as he didn’t listen. He just grabbed your arms and ripped your shirt open.
“What are you doing?!” You yelled, frightened and pushing him with all your force but it seemed to do nothing.
This time he grabbed your hair and you yelped in pain, turning around and trying to open the window.
Yoongi was outside, looking around.
You banged on the window and screamed his name as Mike somehow managed to pull your pants down.
You banged on the window so hard it hurt your arms to even fight back against Mike but you continued to do so anyways.
Yoongi noticed and quickly ran.
But it would be a minute before Yoongi made it upstairs. In that minute you fought against Mike with everything you had left.
Mike kissed you and bit you, leaving marks.
No matter how hard you kicked, you just kicked the air and slammed your fists against him until he suddenly gasped and arched his back.
He dropped to the ground and Yoongi just stepped over him, looking at your body and making sure you were okay, but you weren’t.
It had been the fight of your life and there were marks everywhere. You felt no pain just adrenaline.
You pulled up your pants and Yoongi gave you his jacket.
“We have to go.” You said, looking at Mike taking his last breaths.
“I said, are you okay?” Yoongi asked sternly, making you meet his eyes.
“We need to go.” You whimpered, refusing to put him in anymore danger.
Taking the knife out of Mike’s back, you touched it’s every possible surface.
“What are you doing?” He asked taking it from your hands.
“He’s in my room Yoongi, I killed him okay? Not you. Stop putting your fingerprints on it.”
He threw it on the ground and grabbed your arms. ”My fingerprints won’t go away just because you cover them with yours. Calm down, we need to be calm. Don’t cry, don’t panic. Where did you leave your clothes?”
“Downstairs by the trash bins.” You replied in a breathy voice.
This wasn’t fair to him at all. This went so wrong so fast and he wasn’t supposed to get involved. There’s no way in hell that you would let him go to jail, not even for you.
“Okay. Let’s go.” He said pulling you away.
“And my mom? Did she see you?” You asked as you looked around before walking out the door.
“I didn’t see her, I think I saw her leave before I came in. We need to get as far away from here as possible. Come on.”
——______
He was initiating more than you could handle. But it was your bright idea in the first place to straddle him in the middle of a conversation.
Now it was turning into more and you had to stop it.
"Yoongi..." you whispered against his lips, taking heavy breaths and holding onto the image of the two of you, on the couch in a dirty motel with nothing but bad lighting and cheap alcohol.
Alcohol you didn't have the guts to sip but you tasted it on his lips.
"What's wrong?" He asked, backing off immediately but he kept his hands on your waist.
His eyes pierced right through your soul, usually in the most hypnotizing way but right now they just reflected back your own shame.
What the hell were you going to say? That you weren't in the mood? That you weren't feeling well?
"What's wrong babe?" He asked again.
You could tell he wasn't going to patiently fish out whatever it was that was worrying you. He wanted you to tell him now, directly, whatever it was. He wasn’t going to interrogate you.
And this was Yoongi you were talking to. He was smart and strong. He was calm and he always knew what to do.
Most of all he was the love of your life.
The one you’d give up your life for at any moment.
He was the only one who could help you through this. He had a right to know regardless. You were tired of feeling horrible anyways. It was time to come clean.
"Yoongi......I think I'm pregnant." You said with a stupid tear rolling down your cheek.
Your gaze faltered and you couldn't bear to look at him.
"I'm sorry." You apologized, not for getting pregnant, but for getting pregnant now when you guys had nothing and it would become the greatest challenge.
"Are you sure?" He asked, and you didn't notice a change in tone. His voice was calm just like you expected, yet his expression showed some disbelief.
"I just need a test to confirm but yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant Yoongi...” You said, trying to get off of him but he didn’t let you go.
"Let’s just get a test first okay? Don’t cry because if you aren’t pregnant, you’ll be crying over nothing.” He said taking your hands.
Immediately you stopped crying. It was the most embarrassing thing for you, to cry in front of him. And he was right but so wrong.
You had a good feeling that you were pregnant. That’s why you felt horrible and he knew that your gut feelings were usually right.
Nevertheless, he held onto you tightly. Even in the car on the way to the nearest pharmacy, he had a firm grip on your fingers. It was his way of saying, “It’s okay, don’t be afraid.”
He didn't care that the cashier basically saw your crisis right there, in the little box that held a 99.9% accuracy rate at predicting your future.
You didn't care either but still, the world would know the result soon enough anyways.
If this was real then you would be labeled as the young and irresponsible couple.
Being honest, well, you were young and irresponsible especially if this was happening. You didn’t care though. You were just worried about taking on such a huge responsibility.
You had nothing. How could you possibly give your child everything?
When you got back to the motel, that’s when the silence between you seemed to be louder and unnatural.
Speaking would’ve been too much as well, especially at this point.
You let go of his hand and walked into the bathroom without hesitation....without him.
You sat on the floor, waiting. He was on the other side of the door thinking God knows what.
In your hand was the small strip of truth that would reveal your fate.
Those minutes went by so fast that you hesitated then.
The answer was right in your hands but you wouldn't look at it.
Finally, you turned it over and began crying.
He opened the door and rushed to your side, pulling you up into his arms and keeping you upright.
"Don't cry Y/N. Listen to me, I know you're scared but listen to me." He said frustrated.
You looked up at him through your glossy eyes. A look of apology from you and a look of worry on his.
"I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to find us a place, I'll get a job. We can settle down but you don't have to be scared. Y/N, don’t be scared.”
"I am scared. Settle down? How can we settle down? We never wanted this, we never wanted a kid. That life wasn't meant for us Yoongi. I just made this ten times harder on us, I’m sorry."
"Why are you apologizing? Did I say it was your fault? Did I say this was a stupid mistake? You're stronger than that Y/N.” He said slightly shaking you. “We need to take responsibility now. I'm going to do everything it takes to to give our child everything. How could I ever blame you for this? I’m telling you that everything’s going to be okay. Alright?”
“So we're just supposed to live like a normal couple now? You're telling me you're not upset? We're not ready Yoongi. You know that. Remember the laundromat? You thought that kid was a brat, well now we can have one of our own right? Stop pretending we aren't fucked."
"You don't trust me? Look at me Y/N, don’t you see how much you mean to me?”
You tried to pull away from him but he held onto you tightly. “...I can't be a mother. I'm not ready, and I know you don't want to be a father. We’re too young.”
“We are too young but we’re not stupid Y/N. I know you're afraid, I can see it, I can feel it, but stop freaking out for one second and look at me..."
He held your face in his hands and kissed you. He wasn't gentle. It was one of the those rare times in which he pour everything he had into a kiss.
Right now he was promising you a life with everything, just like that couple from the picture in that house you ‘borrowed’.
He was letting you know that you didn't have a choice. You would follow him like you promised to.
"Everything's going to be okay. I promise. We fucked up, so what?...There is no other option, we have to take responsibility. We’re going do things right for once and I’m going to make sure that you’ll have everything you ever needed."
“We were never meant for that life Yoongi. We’re lowlives, just running away from everything. We struggle everyday, against everything and everyone.” You said somberly.
“And our child will never find out what that feels like. I promise you that.” He said without any doubt.
“I’m scared Yoongi.” You repeated quietly.
“Have I ever let you down?”
You looked at him and felt bad for seemingly doubting him. “I’m scared of letting myself down.”
“You out of all people should know what not to do and what a bad mother looks like, and you are going to do the exact opposite of what your mother did. We’re going to do this the right way. We don’t have a choice.”
You nodded, still crying but believing in everything he said because you needed to.
But looking back now, you were so blind to it then, how scared he actually was.
How immensely unsure he was, and how far he’d go to make you believe everything was okay.
You were right for being scared, and he was wrong for lying.
__________
“What do you think?”
“About what?” You asked with a smile, feeling at peace in his arms as you sat together on the beach. The sun was setting and it was getting darker.
The waves were putting you to sleep.
“About this city.” He said.
“It’s nice. It’s a small city, but it’s nice.” You replied.
The smile on his face was that of someone who felt good. Someone who wanted to laugh just because they were happy.
“What?” You asked, facing him and wincing as your back cramped from hauling along your huge baby bump.
“Are you okay?” He asked, worry overtaking his expression as he placed a hand on your shoulder, steadying you.
You nodded and made yourself comfortable. “I’m fine. Why were you so smug just a second ago?”
“I found us a place to live around here.”
“Here!?” You gasped, wincing again.
“Lay down.” He said, patting his knee so that you would use it as pillow.
“We’re going to live here?” You asked.
“If you want.” He nodded.
“Of course I do, there’s not much time left. This seems like a nice place.” You said rubbing your belly.
“I found a job and they’ll give us a place to stay. It’s not huge but it’s something.”
“We can manage. It’s not like we need much space anyways and she won’t need that much space for a while.”
“I want her to grow up in a nice place though. We’ll only be in this apartment for about a year. By then I promise we’ll have a yard for her to play in.”
“Sounds too good to be true but if you promise then I believe you. What kind of job did you get?”
“Over there.” He pointed at the shipping yard that was a few miles down the beach front. “They just asked me for an address, nothing else and when I told them I don’t have a place yet they said they’d give me one. I told them about you guys and they said, even better.”
“Isn’t that weird?”
“They’re low on staff and they just need guys who are going to stay. Apparently it’s a tough job that many leave after a couple of years.”
“What exactly are going to do?” You asked tired of waiting for him to just say the name of the position he had.
“Crane handler.”
“You don’t know how to work a crane, and don’t you need a license?!”
He put on his innocent face and shrugged. “Apparently I do know how to work a crane. I did great for my first time, and like I said, they really need people because they didn’t care that I had no license.”
You giggled. “Sounds perfect then. Let me guess...you get paid all in cash right?”
“Isn’t this the perfect place?” He smiled.
You kissed his cheek and hugged him.
He must feel so proud of himself, just like you were proud of him.
This feeling was foreign but it was good. It was like things were finally going right. For once, you felt like you guys had control over your lives...
I’m just three short years, Yoongi had managed to do everything he said he would.
Your white picket fenced house was perfect. Somehow your life became perfect too.
Loona was now three years old and she was attending daycare for a few hours in the mornings.
Yoongi made sure to take you guys out at least twice a week for dinner and on other days he would arrange for your trips to museums and zoos, and anywhere else that seemed fun. He would join when he could but work had him busy most of the time. His schedule was crazy and it changed all the time.
Nonetheless he came home for dinner on most days.
Loona hardly missed him and when she did, he was always a phone call away. She was a huge daddy’s girl and no matter what, he always made time to FaceTime her whenever she felt like it.
Tonight was one of those nights.
It was raining and she was scared. Her eyes full of worry as she begged you to call him. You obliged right away and tried not to smile as he picked up the call.
“What’s with that face? What did I tell you about the thunder?” He asked.
“It’s just loud noise.” She mumbled.
“So make louder noises, fight back babe. Tell mommy to give you the pots and pans. Make some music for me okay?” He said.
She grew excited and yelled as she ran to the kitchen. You rolled your eyes at the screen and shook your head. “Thanks. Please hurry.”
“You seemed sleepy so maybe this will help.” He teased.
For twenty minutes straight you jumped all around the house as Loona slammed spoons against everything in the kitchen she could get her hands on. It didn’t take long for you guys to come up with a little song about making the thunder go away.
Hopefully with all this partying she would stay out cold all night long, snoring quietly.
Loona’s plans changed fast however, and soon enough you were making coffee for Yoongi.
“Taste it.” You held the spoon to her lips and she drank the tiny puddle of coffee without hesitation but then she smacked her lips together and stuck out her tongue.
“Yuck. Daddy drinks bad juice.”
“Coffee.” You giggled.
“Put more sugar.” She suggested.
“No baby, he likes it without too much sugar. Isn’t he crazy?”
She giggled when you called him crazy. “He’s crazy.” She repeated.
“Who’s crazy?” Yoongi asked as he walked through the front door.
“You!!!” She ran over to him, pointing at him and laughing as he picked her up.
“I’m crazy about you.” He said kissing her cheek. “Are you ready for bed?”
“I was waiting for you to come help me brush my teeth.” She informed him.
“Ahh ok. Go set up the stool. I’ll be there in a second.” He said placing her down again.
She ran to the bathroom and Yoongi finally kissed you hello.
“She wanted to make you coffee. Isn’t she sweet?”
“Did you tell her it makes you stay up?”
“Yeah but she thinks it only works for a few minutes.” You smiled.
“I need it anyways. I have to go back in at two.”
“Two in the morning? Again.”
Lately he’s been going in after midnight. He would sleep for a few hours or just stay up all night.
He didn’t want to admit it but it was tiring. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t like he was a doctor on call or anything. If he had to back after dinner, he was usually home before midnight. You had no trouble staying up and waiting for him but now, he would be leaving too early for you to even make him breakfast.
“Can’t you ask them for a fixed schedule?” You asked, turning away and preparing an expression shot as well.
He hugged you from behind, not saying anything.
“Why are they changing it up now? This is happening every week now. On days like this you’ll come home and you’ll have already eaten dinner, then you’ll fall right asleep. Loona will ask why you’re going to sleep before her and why you won’t be there in the mornings. You know how she is, she’ll worry that you’re sick or something.” You said somberly.
“It’s just for the summer. Twice the number of shipments arrive in the summers, that way in the winter we don’t have to come in as many days in the freezing cold, and that means I get to spend more time with you guys in the winter.”
You sighed and turned around to face him. “I could get a job...you don’t have to work so hard. We have more than enough. You never come with us on our adventures and she knows why but she keeps asking when you’re going to bring her instead of me.”
“Instead?”
“Yeah, she doesn’t think of it as a family thing anymore. It’s just mommy taking her somewhere fun. She expects you to take her somewhere fun, eventually. She just doesn’t expect the three of us to go anywhere together.”
“Really?” He lowered his head in thought and sat down.
“She’s waiting for you right now.” You pointed out.
“Right.” He said getting up quickly and rushing to meet her in the bathroom.
