12 Tips On Making Friends In A Minecraft SMP
Have you ever joined an SMP and found yourself feeling lonely? Do you think other players can be cliquish? Do you feel ignored and left out? Here are some tips to help you make friends and ingratiate yourself in an SMP.
The Ultimate Tip: Be nice, even if you’re frustrated. People want to be friends with people who are nice so if you act nice, people will be nice to you.
Tip #1: Say hi whenever someone joins the server. Even doing a little “o/” comes across as super nice. Whenever you join the server, you can reach out and say “Hello everyone!” or “How are y’all doing?” or even just “What’s up?” People will generally respond and you can learn more about them.
Tip #2: Don’t get upset if you think people are ignoring you. Chances are, people haven’t responded because they’re AFK or concentrating on something. Spamming chat or using all caps when you feel ignored is NOT a way to make friends and will generally upset people if you do these things.
Tip #3: Ask for help or advice or if help is offered, don’t turn it down because you’re a “lone wolf.” You can also answer help requests from others and they will be grateful for your help. Working on a project with someone such as mining together, moving villagers, digging out monuments, etc can be fun and a great way to get to know someone.
Tip #4: Don’t be a Debbie Downer. Don’t complain, don’t shout, don’t talk about sore subjects, or have public beef with other players. When people see this behavior in chat, they’re less likely to want to be your friend because you’re not fun to talk to. Instead, tell a joke, comment on how great your building progress is coming, or even compliment someone else. Soon the compliments will start heading back your way too!
Tip #5: If you want people to visit your base, don’t shout at them for not visiting. There’s probably a reason they’ve never visited. It could be they don’t know where your base is or it could be that your base is too far away from others. Try making your base accessible to others by connecting it to a nether road or making a path in the overworld. Also, make sure your base is lit up to prevent mobs and have signs or a welcome area so people know where to go. You can also ask to have guided tours of others’ bases and when it’s over, you can offer to tour them around your base.
Tip #6: If you feel like other players are in a clique and are excluding you, know that they aren’t doing this on purpose. They just don’t know you well enough. Try joining in the conversation with thoughtful comments or ask to be included in the project they’re working on. If you help others, they’ll help you and you can make some good friends while you’re at it.
Tip #7: Be nice to others even if you think they’re being mean. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. If you think someone doesn’t like you, chances are that they think you don’t like them. Show them they’re wrong by being super nice. As my mom would say: “Kill them with kindness.”
Tip #8: Do you want to befriend a specific person? Try giving them a gift. Are they after a difficult item or do they need a lot of a single material? Help them get it and give it to them as a gift. Gifts can go a long way with making people like you and they might feel obligated to give you a gift back but don’t expect one.
Tip #9: When you get to know someone better, ask them how their day is. If you remember key pieces of information about their life that they’ve spoken about before and bring them up later, they’ll think “oh, how thoughtful” and want to talk with you more and be your friend because you’re so nice and thoughtful.
Tip #10: Don’t be annoying. Spamming chat, shouting, following around, pulling unwanted pranks, trying to pvp, or just getting in the way of others is annoying. This type of behavior is generally only okay between good friends. If you’re around someone you don’t know well, be conscious of your actions and don’t be annoying. If someone is annoying you, ask them to stop nicely by saying “Hey, can you please stop ___, I find this behavior annoying and would appreciate it if you did not do it anymore. Thank you.” Whatever you do, don’t shout at someone for being annoying. Chances are, they don’t realize they’re being annoying. However, if they continue after you ask them to stop, always let a staff member know via a ticket!
Tip #11: If you see someone hanging out in VC (voicechat), don’t be afraid to jump in and say hi. Even if you don’t say much in the conversation, joining in and learning about people can be fun and a great way to make friends even more quickly. Just make sure that you aren’t annoying to others or you will find yourself muted.
Tip #12: Are you feeling shy? Timid? Don’t have a lot of confidence in your social ability? Don’t worry. This is the internet and we’re all human. Everyone is shy. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with someone. Everyone has been in your shoes before and felt afraid of new social interactions. Once you start talking, your fear will be soon forgotten.
-Oats