#miraclemint

[miraclemint]

I don’t know why but there’s something different about this time. I feel... trapped...

[miraclemint]

Things were easier when existing was optional

[miraclemint]

I don’t think I can prove my worth in the way they want me to and that kind of really worries me...

Will it ever be enough?

[miraclemint]

brb I’m learning how to be invisible...

[miraclemint]

I am not worth your time... sorry

[miraclemint]

[miraclemint]

Wish I could lay in bed all day with my pups.

[miraclemint]

It’s Christmas, Snapchat sends me memories.

The last three Christmases of puffy faces.

From heinous acts of self destruction.

My throat a scratchy mess.

I exclaim to my family how different are the two.

But mistakenly, I say ‘fat’.

I say ‘fat’ when I mean puffy.

I say ‘fat’ when I mean swollen.

I say ‘fat’ when I mean full of inflammation.

I say ‘fat’ when I mean this old face.

But they don’t understand, because I never say.

My new face, is different.

It is a face that I have grown.

In the past year from self love, and care.

Maybe one day they will understand.

Why for me this day is the best Christmas...

Ever...