a little jihyo centric misahyo post i've had floating around since i watched jihyo in i live alone! sorry if it seems a little disjointed, the angst wrote itself into this without my consent 🙄🙄 lots to come from this au soon!
Park Jihyo was not the type to ignore her alarm clock.
It just wasn’t in her nature. She kept a strict schedule, and to accomplish her goals, she couldn’t start her day late. Even on the weekends or when she wasn't feeling great or went to bed late, Jihyo tried to wake up at the same time everyday. There was always something she had to do, and that thought alone kept her more than motivated.
The biggest disruption to Jihyo’s routine comes in the form of one Minatozaki Sana.
Sana loved lazy mornings. Even if Jihyo would move to get out of bed, Sana would immediately pull her back down into a hug and complain that it was too early, no matter what time it was. As adorable as it was, there were times it was annoying to have to negotiate her freedom.
Mina, on the other hand, left her alone most mornings. Mina hated waking up in the mornings, and dealing with Mina’s later schedule had been an adjustment at the beginning of their relationship. Thankfully, after many negotiations, Jihyo had been able to talk Mina into getting out of bed at ten at the very latest. Sana usually wasn’t picky what time they got out of bed, just that they had filled her “daily morning hug quota” as she called it.
But two wives who hated getting out of bed in the morning were nothing compared to a child who refused to wake up on time.
Nico’s birth threw an entire new layer of complications into Jihyo’s mornings. Nico had taken after Mina, and hated waking up in the morning about as much as she hated bedtime. However, every parenting book Jihyo read stressed the importance of routine with children, and Mina’s inconsistent sleep schedule was not the ideal role model for Nico. Mina herself even admitted it, and would even go as far as to drag herself out of bed early just to show Nico that waking up early was good. It took some time, but Jihyo was eventually able to establish daily and weekly routines for all of them, Nico included. Jihyo had to adjust to the fact Nico insisted on having ten minutes of cuddle time with at least one of them every morning, but it just meant her day had to start ten minutes earlier.
Mina’s depressive episodes usually would throw everything to shit. Mina would refuse to get out of bed, and Jihyo would respect her space, but Sana would get all concerned and try to stay with Mina. Nico would see that only Jihyo was waking her up, and she would get pouty. She wasn’t getting her morning kisses from Sana and wouldn’t get to do her morning routines with each of her moms. Jihyo would sigh, offer to give Nico kisses, and just pray they weren’t going to be late for Nico’s preschool. Eventually, she would get Nico dressed and fed, and then Nico would insist on saying goodbye to Mina and Sana, which would then upset Mina because she hated when Nico saw her like that, and then things would spiral again until someone cried.
Jihyo knew it was a sticky situation all around. She loved and respected Mina, and she did feel bad Nico was so adamant about seeing her every morning, but she also knew that Nico was just trying to get her daily time with all three of her parents in. Nico was a shy kid, and didn’t have many friends at preschool. Her moms were her favorite people, and she just wanted to see them and spend time with them. Plus, given her age, she couldn’t understand why Mina didn’t want to see her.
As Mina’s depressive episodes get longer, Nico stops insisting to see Mina. She even stops asking for Sana’s kisses, just getting ready quietly with Jihyo. Jihyo finds it very unsettling.
“Sorry.” Was the first thing Jihyo found herself muttering that particular morning. She had meant to turn the volume on her alarm down, it had been a late night last night, and while they had an amazing productive talk about their feelings, Jihyo had intended to let Snaa and Mina sleep in. They deserved it after crying their hearts out the night before.
“Jihyo-ya turn it off.” Sana whined, curling into a little ball by Jihyo’s side.
“I am.” Jihyo reached for her phone, quickly swiping the alarm away and checking the time. Jihyo gently moved Sana’s arm off of her, Sana whining as she moved to get up.
“Where are you going?” Sana whined.
“Nico will be up soon, I need to make breakfast.” Jihyo smiled as Sana rolled into her previous space. “I’ll leave you and Mina something.”
“Where are you going? It’s Sunday.”
“I’m going to do some errands. I’ll take Nico with me.” Jihyo muttered, already planning out everything that needed to be done. They were running low on groceries, and the light bulb in the hallway needed replacing, so she would need to stop by the grocery store. Plus, with the cooler weather coming in, Nico would need some new jackets. Given her age, she was growing too rapidly to fit into her clothes from the winter before. So that meant they would need to swing by the department store. Finally, there were a couple loads of laundry that needed to get done, so she aimed to be home before lunch to start on all of it. “Is there anything you want from the grocery store?”
“Mmm… Maybe some yogurt?”
“Of course. Text me if you think of anything else, or if Mina needs anything.” Jihyo kissed Sana’s forehead before moving to the bathroom. Once she brushed her teeth and went through her skin care, she moved to make breakfast. Nico loved eggs, and they had some extra toast lying around from when Tzuyu had come over and made garlic bread, so she decided on a more western style breakfast.
“Mama?” Jihyo was surprised when she turned to see Nico, still in her pajamas. Her hair was messy as she held her favorite stuffed polar bear by its paw.
“Oh Nico.” Jihyo smiled at her daughter. “Good morning. I didn’t expect to see you awake so early.”
“I wanted to see mama.” Nico pouted. She looked adorable, standing in the kitchen half awake. Jihyo didn't allow herself to get distracted though, keeping her attention on the task at hand while her daughter yawned.
“Well hello, why don't you go get your toothbrush and toothpaste and mama can help you while she cooks breakfast?” Nico nodded, running off while Jihyo cracked a couple eggs in the pan. She quickly went through everything they would need from the grocery store again in her head, deciding to get Nico a treat if she was in a cooperative mood today. When Nico returned Jihyo helped her up to the kitchen cabinet and supervised Nico’s teeth brushing, getting her a glass of water to rinse her mouth out with when she was done. Once Nico was settled, she served their breakfast, the two of them eating in realities silence.
“Mama?”
“Hm?”
“Can we go to the park today?” Nico looked so hopeful, her little eyes shining as she looked at Jihyo.
“Let me check the weather,” Jihyo knew she had a lot to get done, but she could move some things around for a quick park trip. “Sorry kiddo, rain all day.” Nico’s face fell at Jihyo’s report, her hand instinctively fidgeting with her polar bear.
“Oh.” Nico stared at the half finished toast in front of her. “Okay.” Jihyo could feel the tension in her daughter. Nico really wasn't having the easiest time, and Jihyo felt guilt tug at her heart as her daughter played with her food.
Ideas ran through Jihyo’s head, playing out any scenario that could possibly improve Nico’s mood. Mina and Sana were out of the question, and obviously anything outside would be out with the weather. Momo and Nayeon were busy, and she was pretty sure Dahyun mentioned them having to do something today. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were probably out too, considering the fact Tzuyu worked on Sundays and Chaeyoung likely scheduled some clients to fill her free time. Jihyo smiled when an idea came to her, quickly sending a text. She waited until she had a response to turn her attention back to the glum looking toddler in front of her.
“Hey kiddo, why don't you go grab your rain jacket?” Jihyo checked the weather one more time, an idea forming in her mind. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Really?!” Nico immediately looked up from her food, a smile on her face.
“Yeah, let me get a few things and then we can go.”
xx
Jihyo usually wasn't very impulsive.
She really shouldn't be doing what she had planned, there were so many chores that needed to get done at home. Sundays were really the only days she could get chores done, and while Mina and Sana had been doing their best, they had all fallen behind on a few things. However, she would do anything to make Nico smile. And if she had to stay up a bit later that night to finish her to do list, that was okay as long as Nico was happy.
“Mama!” Nico had the biggest grin on her face when Jihyo finally parked. The whole car ride, Nico had been pestering her, asking where they were going and why it was taking so long. When they finally got there however, Nico immediately realized where they were.
“One sec kiddo.” Jihyo laughed, watching how Nico was eagerly unbuckling herself from her car seat. Jihyo moved to help her out, happy to feel the sun on her skin. The rain really had been relentless, but now that they were out of Seoul, the sun was shining brightly.
“Grandpa!” Nico immediately ran to her grandfather when Jihyo opened her door, and Jihyo barely had time to turn around before her daughter was practically mauling her father.
“Nico-ya!”
“Dad, be careful!” Jihyo panicked as her father spun Nico in a circle. “Your back…”
“Jihyo, I’m fine, you worry too much.” The older man laughed. “I've missed you Nico! You’ve gotten so much bigger.”
“Mama said I grew three centimeters!”
“I believe it. You're growing so well.” Jihyo’s father set Nico down. “Why don't you go say hi to Bbuyo? Last I saw, he was near the garden.” Nico nodded, eagerly setting off toward the garden.
“Hi dad, thanks for letting us come out here so last minute” Jihyo smiled when her dad gave her a hug.
“Of course, you are always welcome here.” Her dad looked at her with loving eyes and Jihyo felt like a child under her dad’s gaze. “You look tired.”
“I’m okay.” Jihyo nodded, watching as her daughter looked around for the cat.
“Are Sana and Mina doing okay?” Jihyo took a deep breath, that was a more loaded question than her father probably realized.
“They are doing better.” Jihyo forced herself to smile. She could tell from the look on her father’s face he didn't believe her.
“Well that's good. Tell them I miss them.” Her father smiled. “I was just about to start making some lunch, why don't you help me?”
“Yeah.” Jihyo watched as her daughter finally found her father’s cat, a huge smile on her face as she addressed the animal. “I would love that.”
xx
Jihyo had originally intended the trip to be for her daughter. Nico needed to get out of the house, and she deserved to do something fun. But the longer Jihyo stayed, the more she realized the trip was just as much of a selfish gesture as it was a selfless one.
Her father wasn't super talkative as they made Kimbap together. Just small comments about the task at hand and how adorable Nico looked playing with the cat, who barely seemed interested in her.
“He’s good with her.” Her father smiled as Nico attempted to play fetch with the cat, who was looking at her with his signature annoyed expression.
“He looks annoyed.” Jihyo laughed. “But he isn't trying to scratch her, so that's something.”
“You know he doesn't scratch.”
“He scratched Sana,” Jihyo laughed at the memory. To be fair to the cat, Sana had tried to hug him.
“He would never scratch Nico.” Jihyo’s father nodded. They fell into silence after that. Jihyo made a couple extra rolls of kimbap, wrapping them up to take home with her. Her father always had the best vegetables, and Sana and Mina would be jealous if she didn't share. “Hey Hyo?”
“Hm?”
“Your mom would be really proud of you.” Jihyo feels her entire being freeze at the mention of her mother.
“Dad…” Tears rushed to Jihyo’s eyes at the thought. She didn't normally cry very easily, at least compared to Sana and Mina (who cried at everything), but this topic had that effect on her.
“I'm proud of you too.” Her father grabbed her hand, giving her a gentle squeeze. “You have a good head on your shoulders, and I can tell you love that girl with your whole heart, just like you love Sana and Mina. Just, don't take on too much, okay?” Tears poured down Jihyo’s cheeks as her father looked at her.
“Okay.” Jihyo took a deep breath, trying to stop her tears.
“It's okay to cry Jihyo.” Her father squeezed her hand one more time. “It doesn't make you any less strong. You never want to ask for help, or let people take care of you. But, you can't do everything alone. Let your dad take care of you for a bit, okay?” Jihyo nodded, squeezing her father’s hand back as more tears gathered in her eyes.
“I-I” Jihyo felt choked up as all of the pent up stress and emotions from the past few months rushed to the surface.
“You don't need to tell me, unless you want to.” Jihyo took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts as best she could. She couldn't remember the last time she let herself fall apart.
It felt nice to let someone take care of her.
xx
“Are you sure you can't stay the night?” Jihyo smiled as her father looked at the two of them. Nico had fallen asleep hours ago, it was well past her bedtime and Jihyo knew they were already going to get back super late. But she had a class to teach tomorrow, and Nico had day care.
“We’ll come stay for longer next time.” Jihyo had meant to leave after lunch, but she had been swept up into a nap with her daughter when Nico insisted Jihyo lay with her.
“Bring Satang and Mitang with you next time.” Jihyo smiled as she buckled Nico into her car seat.
“I will.” Jihyo nodded. “Speaking of them, Sana says hi.” Sana had texted her when she didn't come home before dinner, concerned something had happened to them. A quick call reassured Sana they were fine, and they would be home later.
“Tell her she needs to come visit soon.” Jihyo’s father answered. “Oh! I almost forgot, take this with you!” Jihyo’s father handed her a large grocery bag. One glance inside showed a bagful of fresh produce and packaged food.
“Dad, you don't have to-”
“You know I have too much. I made some food for you two as well. Take care of yourself okay?” Jihyo’s father opened his arms for a hug, Jihyo easily falling into the hug.
“You too dad.”
“I will.” Jihyo felt like she could cry again in her father’s arms.
“Say hi to mom for me.”
“I will. Be safe driving home okay? Text me when you get there.”
“Okay.” Jihyo sniffled, taking one last look at her father before finally waving, climbing into the car.
Her heart felt so much lighter than when she had woken up that morning.
xx
“Mama.” Jihyo was momentarily surprised when she heard her daughter’s sleepy voice. She didn't allow it to distract her though, keeping her attention on the road in front of her.
“Morning Nico.” Jihyo giggled. “We still have another hour until we are home, you should go back to sleep.”
“I had fun today.” Nico muttered. “Grandpa is always really fun.”
“While I’m glad you think so.” Jihyo giggled. “It would make him really happy to hear that.”
“Was grandma fun too?” Nico had never asked about her grandmother before. They had taken her to visit her grave, but Nico had never really asked about her.
“Yes.” Jihyo muttered. “She would have spoiled you rotten.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Yeah…” Jihyo felt herself grip the steering wheel tighter at her daughter’s question. “I miss her a lot.”
“I miss ka-san.” It was so tiny, Jihyo didn't almost hear it. But Jihyo felt like her heart was breaking at Nico’s admission. “Will she be better soon?”
“Nico…” Jihyo couldn't think of anything to say. Her brain was turning over any possible explanations or reassurances, but anything she tried to say died on her tongue.
Nico falls quiet after that, and when Jihyo glances back at Nico in the rear view mirror, she sees her daughter is fast asleep.