I forgive you. I think that’s all I really need to say but, I feel like I need to say more — to explain why I’m giving you the forgiveness that other children probably would never give their mother’s after understanding what you did in the past. The truth is, you didn’t apologize (and I know how hard it is to say you’re sorry because pride is a little demon that lives deep inside both of our hearts) but, forgiveness is something that could be given to the people who never even opened their mouths to speak those two words to the person forgiving them. Dad taught me that. He told me he forgave the people who tortured him, the people who hurt him, the people who hurt you, and his mother, who used to abuse him. Believe me. He told me everything. I think I’m old enough to know that forgiveness isn’t something that benefits the person apologizing. It helps heal the wounds of yourself. Myself even — locked away in her room after finding out the truth about you and dad. I think what I’m trying to say is you need to forgive yourself, like I’m forgiving you for doing what you had to do to let children thrive in Panem instead of starving and living in fear. You did the things you did for good. You shouldn’t live in pain because my peers, Rye, and myself got to have a childhood.
What’s important that you need to ultimately get out of my letter is that I love you, despite the flaws you wear on your sleeve — despite everything. I forgive you for what you did. I know, the war was terrible but you have to remember, in spite of everything people are good at heart. Even now, when people still live in the past, people are thankful for what you did. You may have lost a lot. We lose people throughout life and I know it hurts. God, I hope I will never have to experience loss at the degree at any point of my life because I can see that it hurts you everyday. I hate seeing you and dad in pain. It’s the worst fear of mine so I do everything in my power to prevent that but there are days where I, too, feel helpless and I can’t do anything. I think the best thing I can do is give you forgiveness and hope that you will forgive yourself someday.
Even on your worst days, please remember the lullaby you used to sing to me every night. Remember the meadow. Remember that I love you. No matter what.