TADC Episode 6 Analysis Part 1: Zooble and Gangle (Internalized Ableism and Self Acceptance)
As someone who is genderqueer and neurodivergent, who also has fibromyalgia, depression, and anxiety, the conversation between Zooble and Gangle really hits a cord with me.
We see in the previous episodes how Zooble continues to be a safe space for Gangle, and that only continues here, which not only showcases their strong bond but also the way community can feel (the times I felt more supported and understood was in the presence of other people who had similar experiences.) I really wanted to break down their conversation and throw in my thoughts/analysis of it because I loved this.
“You’re a human. You’re not his toy.”
“It sometimes doesn't feel that way.”
I wanted to start off here because one thing that catches by attention is the way people with disabilities can be objectified and whittled down to JUST their disability by others. We see this with Jax and the way he seems to only view Gangle as the "sad one", questioning if she even has the capacity to be happy. Jax has his own issues and as we see, assigns archetypes to everyone, but the fact remains that Gangle feels that the only thing she is is her mood disorder, which Jax plays with. Sometimes people like to "test" people with disabilities to see how they react (asking invasive questions, testing the vision of a blind person or the hearing of a deaf person with little reason, antagonizing someone with a mental disability because it's "funny."
“These avatar gimmicks, huh? Makes you wonder why no one else got them.”
Then we have this line from Zooble, which makes me consider the idea of if their avatars are linked to who they are (like the way Ragatha is a doll (possibly viewing herself as a one to her mother) or Kinger is a chess piece (which could hint at his hidden intelligence and strategic thinking.)) It's possible that the digital circus bases their avatars on things they're insecure about (which could explain why Pomni is a jester (she wants to be taken seriously) and Jax is a rabbit (rabbit are a prey animal known for being jumpy and he's also stereotypical "female" colors.)) The fact Gangle's avatar centers so much around her masks (and also is a ribbon, something that is very easily bent out of shape and isn't stable) and Zooble's is about replaceable body parts (not knowing fully who they are, or possibly relating to a physical disability they have in the real world.)
In addition, it makes sense they would have these "avatar gimmicks" because these traits are still part of them. This could be the game's way of trying to accommodate their differences, since it's not something programming could "get rid of" (Caine does have some influence on their mind but this goes beyond that, this is part of them, and having the program change it would be like "curing" it (and who says they have to be "cured?")
“I just wish that… how are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just… makes you worse than everyone else?”
The internalized ableism is so strong here and AHHH GANGLE-
I understand her though, because to her it feels like her depression and mania just ruin things both herself and everyone else. In episode 4 we see how she feels after the adventure and how she worries she made people hate her. She care a lot about the safety of her happy mask because she likely doesn't want to "bum people out."
The way her emotions change and she feels things isn't necessarily like most of the other people here, and she takes that as a bad thing. We see this with systemic ableism and society as a whole, where we've taken the model of a "perfect standard human" and made it so that's the expectation, that's what things are built upon, and anything falling outside of that is seen as wrong and in need of fixing. Buildings have stairs because it's "expected" of a person to be able to walk up and down them, elevators are only added after due to the pushback and advocacy of people (but if nobody spoke up, we would just go on without an elevator and make the people who can't use the stairs just have to "deal with it.")
With physical disabilities, we see efforts for accommodation (although it is still severely limited in areas) but for mental disabilities it's much different, as if people are expected to just adjust. And if they can't, it's their fault. This can cause feelings of self-loathing and resentment for that part of who they are, because they are told it's a problem that should be fixed (and why should they have to "fix it", why can't they just be accomodated for it?)
With Gangle, one of the only people who appears to make strides to try and support her is Zooble, because Zooble understands and accepts that this is a part of her, and that not everyone is the same. With most of the other characters, they don't fully understand. Which can make them frustrated with Gangle and make Gangle feel like she's the problem.
“‘Cause it exists. It’s a part of you that’s real, and the only you that you should care about is the real you. You have to choose to love yourself even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s not natural. It’s intentional.”
First off... ZOOBLE YOU DROPPED YOUR CROWN-
Okay, but actually, this is so beautifully put. I love this show saying that you should love all parts of you, because they exist. You don't need to "fix" things. And this works really well coming from Zooble due to the way it may connect to their queer identity.
Before you fully accept yourself, you may view the parts of yourself that are different as "wrong" and in need of changing (think of the pressure some people feel to culturally assimilate, or the way some people just try to "be straight" or "be cis" or how ABA therapy can discourage certain behaviors that are just part of someone.)
Zooble appears to be confident in their identity now, but they may have had personal struggles with their identity in the past, so they could be speaking from personal experience. We see back in episode 3 how they dislike their body, yet in now it appears to be something they've taken in more stride (the way built themselves an OP body to fight Jax and Pomni.) We see Zooble accepting themselves more in live time, and it's great to see them now imparting advice on Gangle.
In terms of characters, Zooble was always one who as more sure of themselves, so I like them explaining how they got to that point, the implication that this self-acceptance is something they worked for is so beautiful.
“Have… you ever had to make that choice? Sorry I mean- of course not. You’re Zooble.”
And then we have this line from Gangle, which further illustrates how Zooble is viewed as one of the people who is more self-accepting. The way Gangle sort of holds them on a pedestal shows that she looks up to them, but possibly thinks who Zooble is isn't attainable for her. Gangle only sees the person they are now, and how they compare to her. She struggles to imagine the idea that Zooble may not have always been that way.
In a lot of ways this conversation has a more seasoned, confident in their identity person imparting wisdom on someone who is struggling to accept and love themselves (think of like an elder gay to young gay conversation.) As someone queer, looking at older queer people with happy lives always fills me with so much hope, especially when they make it clear that they were in our position in the past. It shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and things can get better.
Given Gooseworx's own identity of a trans person I can't help but feel like Zooble's voice could possibly also be hers in a way, and she's speaking directly to the audience, telling us things that she may have wished she had been told.
Anyways... Zooble deserves a crown and Gangle deserves a hug :)
