#mostly word vomit

[that-sweet-thief]

just finished binge-watching season 2 of shadow and bone. my thoughts are mostly in disarray but the cringe is real.

this was an off-paced, haphazard fanfiction. it'd be just fine if the writers weren't paid for it but they actually are, so it's just... wow. I'm at best mediocre when writing in english and i reckon even i would do a better job of writing dialogue.

anyway, here's a list of my thoughts on the show, though it's more of a word vomit than a comprehensive series review:

no ivan or fedyor. immediate downvote for that alone. ivan should've survived so we could have a heartbreaking moment between him and fedyor across the two sides of the battlefield. i guess they thought there were too many characters and couples to juggle already. or maybe the actors weren't available, who knows.

costume design took a surprising turn for the worse: for example, nina's and zoya's dresses were eyesores. how anyone could make these two very attractive women look that frumpy i've no idea but they've managed. i liked sankta neyar's costume, sturmhond's coat aaand that's about it.

the settings were more varied, so glad we've seen a little of bhez ju. the introductory map-to-location shots were very helpful for people who haven't read the books, namely my gf who fell asleep halfway through the show. also, if the music had any tracks that weren't already from the first season i'll be incredibly surprised, it's that repetitive.

they've messed up nikolai as a character mainly because the actor misunderstood his assignment, though i don't know what else he could've done with the mess he was given. while he's still sympathetic, lovely and witty, paddy's nikolai thinks of sturmhond as just another disguise, rather than who he really is, to the point of gifting said disguise to mal. that's irreconcilable with my understanding of nikolai, whose real mask is the bastard prince.

tamar & tolya were better realised than expected. along with the exclusion of the soldat sol cult, their zealotry's scrapped which is a big win for them. i enjoyed their scenes, great casting too. though, as an ardent kanej fan, i cannot in good conscience support the blink-and-you'll-miss-it tolya/inej moment. tamar/nadia had maybe a minute of screen time but better than nothing.

sankta neyar was a pleasant surprise, great idea to show how powerful durasts can also be. people often disregard materialki so this was refreshing. what i liked about her is how formal, collected, old-fashioned she both appeared and acted, as if her manners and speech style were leftover from a few centuries ago, kudos to her actor tuyen do.

the crows' arc was... lacking in some way. maybe it's because pekka rollins' attitude towards kaz and his group is very different than how it was established in the books, here he was way too proactive and less secure in his position in ketterdam for some reason; anyway rollins' framing of the crows felt off to me.

the crows' character dynamics are interesting and the saving grace of the show, all kanej and wesper scenes were great. seriously, the tension of kanej & cuteness of wesper nearly destroyed me.

they did helnik dirty, of course, but that was a given.

freddy carter outperformed everyone this season, i really think out of all of them he's given the best performance, sometimes even better than ben barnes and that's practically heresy coming from me, his devoted fan since ages ago when i first saw narnia.

i kinda dig that they brought in a tidemaker (fruszi) who's practically an early version of zoya for the darkling's side but her death felt cheap. i mean, the crows arriving to help out nikolai and his team at the very last second was already eye roll inducing, but then nikolai shoots her in the neck? cheap. also, if she and zoya came to face off that'd be interesting since they share so many similarities. i personally don't think it will but if the series continued along with the darkling's canon resurrection, i wish she'd lived and replaced elizaveta, she certainly seemed devoted enough.

david and genya made me cry. that's all i have to say on them.

baghra... where do i even start with her? baghra's nonchalance, her one-eighty about deciding to help alina find more amplifiers is stark raving bonkers imho. yet at least most of her scenes weren't as bad as they could've been, her proving to mal he was the firebird and her saving genya as well as alina actually came across better than the ultra passive, constantly berating version in the books. her death felt less dramatic but more spiteful, though aleksander's reaction to her death was appropriately heartbreaking. ben & zoe sold it so well, my eyes actually welled up.

speaking of sasha, his death is soooo badly executed, it's impossible not to be pissed off at the way they filmed it. even the books were more sympathetic to his demise and alina herself showed much more empathy for him at the end. it's genuinely disturbing how they framed it, makes alina seem more like a villain than the reluctant hero she used to be. i guess it fits with the surprise ending: how she kinda becomes what she sought to destroy, poetic irony and all, but still...

aleksander's whole arc this season makes him seem more desperate and pathetic and so, less of a tyrant: he doesn't even take control of the country or more than a small group of grisha let alone become tsar, instead the apparat rules over ravka on behalf of the lantsovs till nikolai is coronated. he and his people constantly lose to some clever last minute thwarting by alina's allies. the only thing scary about him is the nichevo'ya, the shadow monsters, which in the books are entirely under his control and that of course makes it all the more terrifying. here though, sick and tired and dying, he's merely desperate and fearful. the lack of wins on aleksandr's part really defeats the purpose of the writers' continuous attempts at making him simply the most terrible, horrifying and supreme villain of gregverse.

nope, can't get over it, aleksander practically died in her arms in the books, here she just looks down at him like she's the villain. i guess she now is. oh and mal's retort to sasha about dying in her arms was somehow a foreshadowing, see, but sasha doesn't get that because he's evil, see? gosh, so patronising.

since they've constantly emphasised this season how it was the fold's and thus sasha's fault that grisha were persecuted (not that this explains the ceaseless mistreatment, endangerment and more often death that grisha face everywhere they go, of course, nor does it explain his backstory) i gathered they'd go for a retcon but i didn't imagine they'd exonerate baghra, the apparat and tie the border wars with shu han and fjerda to the fold's existence entirely. the reason the war broke out in the first place was because those countries' fundamental approach to grisha was to kill them or worse. that is what grisha persecution meant. and now... what, the war is over, just like that? i have no words.

also, the exclusion of the "don't let me be alone" line. now that I think about it, those writers should be fed to nichevo'ya.

alina, alina, alina... sure, she's a self-insert, so her motivations don't make sense anyway, but as sweet as jessie is and how hard she tries, show!alina is now an equally awful mess as book!alina. the two things i liked about her this season were her manipulation attempt through the tether and the ending where she goes a bit darkling. the latter, i really like. i wrote a fragment of a power reversal fic before but never put it up, might just do that now.

i'll admit: it's rather funny how mal dumps alina after losing his amplification because he doesn't feel the same way anymore. he doesn't know if it was him being an amplifier that made them love one another. see how easily he turns away from alina? if i were aleksander, I'd be laughing at her from the grave.

[puritics]

— welcome to Aurora Bay, [CATRIONA MALLOCH]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [ROSE WILLIAMS]. You must be the [THIRTY] year old [OWNER OF HIDDEN GEMS THRIFT STORE]. Word is you’re [COMPASSIONATE] but can also be a bit [CREDULOUS] and your favorite song is [THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT BY THE SMITHS]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTER]. I’m sure you’ll love it! ( penned by rosemary )

[ pinterest ]

@aurorabayaesthetic

A GENTLE INTRODUCTION

full name : catriona ealasaid malloch. catriona, meaning pure ; ealasaid, meaning ‘ devoted to god ’ ; malloch, an old scottish surname, meaning ‘ son of ian of the bushy eyebrows ’. preferred name : prefers to be called cat, but has no qualms with any other nickname one might come up with ; does not enjoy the formality that comes with her full name being used, and will encourage any and everyone to call her by literally anything else. birthday : april 9th hometown : glencoe, scottish highlands, scotland schooling : aurora bay college languages spoken : scottish gaelic, english

LET ME TELL YOU MORE

romantic & sexual orientation : pansexual + panromantic traits : + compassionate , empathetic , creative - impulsive , credulous , snoop zodiac : aries religion : agnostic myers - briggs : estp moral alignment : chaotic neutral temperament : sanguine

THANKS FOR NOTICING !

height : 5ft5in fashion sense : could be described as ‘ vintage ’ or ‘ eclectic ’, but there really isn't a name for the style she wears ; she just puts on whatever makes her feel pretty on that particular day, which ends up being something whimsical and different every time. big on flowy skirts and overtly complicated tops. piercing(s) : her earlobes are pierced beyond counting, and there are markings from previous nose piercings on both nostrils, faint scars but there if you look hard enough. tattoo(s) : her sisters dates of birth and birth flowers on her right side, just under her ribs ; has random small tattoos on her arms, varying from cartoon paperclips to gaelic proverbs. jewelry : always layering all kinds of jewelry on top of each other, and never leaves the house without her many rings and necklaces. prefers gold jewelry, but anything handmade will catch her eye immediately. notable piece(s) : is rarely seen without her well-loved tote, a dark brown suede bag that she has very obviously had for at least a decade. is always wearing a gold necklace with a sun pendant on it that says 'best', which is a part of a set ; the two other pieces, one with a moon pendant saying 'friends', and one with a star pendant saying 'forever', are worn by her sisters.

MOST BELOVED

mother : flora malloch — npc. father : unknown. sibling(s) : greer malloch, younger sister — possible wc. lilias malloch, youngest sister — possible wc. extended family : angus malloch, stepfather — npc.

THE MANY LOVES OF CATRIONA MALLOCH

tw: cheating

Fairy tales had always been Cat’s favourite kind of stories, but there was no story she loved half as much as her mother and father’s love story. It was the tale she begged for every night before bed, no matter her mother’s insistence that she must be tired of that story by now; she wouldn’t be for a long time. After all, that story was all she had from her father, as her mother refused to name him, saying it was too painful; when Cat grew older, and fought harder to find out who he was, her mother would reveal that her love, Cat’s father, had never wanted children, and had reacted very poorly to finding Flora was pregnant. He had no interest in being found, and had signed away every single right as soon as possible.

When she was even older, she finally understood that it's easier to forget the pain associated with something, to pretend it was just a story, if you change the names.

Perhaps the pain of rejection from her father would have hurt her more had she not always had her mother's unconditional love. Cat couldn’t help but feel that her father was the one who was missing out, not her.

This was especially reinforced by the presence of her stepfather, Angus, who’d entered their lives when Cat was seven. She liked Angus, and when her mother said they were getting married, she’d insisted on participating in all of the wedding planning. All of it. She’d even tagged along for the cake tasting, and had thrown her biggest and only tantrum when she’d been denied an invitation to the bachelorette party.

To say Angus filled a hole in their lives would be a lie, seeing as the Malloch girls, as they’d called themselves, were whole on their own. He did, however, bring a brightness into their lives that Cat in particular, was thankful for. Her mother had always showered Cat in love and affection, had ensured her childhood was the happiest, even when they didn’t have the most, and had carried the burden of their entire household by herself for too long; to see Angus lift that burden from her mother’s shoulders, to offer comfort for the problems a child should not be privy to, to shower her in the love and affection she so freely gave? It changed everything. Theirs became Catriona’s new favourite love story.

Becoming an older sister was a joy she'd thought she surely must be the first to feel, because there couldn't have been another who had felt as happy as she had on the day Catriona met Greer. When she’d first peered into the crib to glance at the strange creature her mother and Angus had brought home, she was hit with a sense of wonder like nothing she’d felt before; a recognition echoed inside of her that she could hardly put into words, but something inside her told her that the two had been meant to be sisters. The feeling was echoed a year later, when Lilias was born, though their introduction was also uniquely wonderful in its own way. She adores her sister with her entire being, and would burn the world to the ground if it made them happy ( she would feel guilty about it though ).

Her first romantic love came in the form of Callum Brown, the boy who sat beside her in her maths class during her third year of secondary. He’d flirt with her occasionally whenever a math test was getting closer, and then ask her for the answers, which she’d always give. Once, he’d kissed her, right before she had to get on the bus; it was short, sweet, magical. He’d tasted like cigarettes, which she’d convinced herself at the time that she’d liked. She’d smiled every day that week, convinced they were something, hopeful of what exactly that might. Then she’d seen him kissing Ailis, who sat beside him in History, and her heart was broken for the first time. She’d cried over it for longer than she’d thought she loved him, which was the most embarrassing part of it all.

There were a great many loves to follow after, some tales much more interesting and adventurous while others leaned more towards. It all came back to Callum in the end, or, at least, to the love story that had come along with Callum, because history had a habit of repeating itself. Cat would always find herself giving away pieces of her heart to people unwilling to part with their own, always racing to bring happiness to her partners at the sacrifice of herself, and would feel every heartbreak with her entire being; she could not love with anything less than the entirety of her, and couldn't find anyone who loved just as hard. Deep inside, she would always be that little girl who loved fairy tales, who thought there was a happy ending waiting around every corner, so she would always mistake coincidence for fate. 

A love story that could never end in anything remotely unhappy is Cat’s constant love affair with fashion. They’d moved to America in her last year of high school, and she’d gone from rural Scotland with one clothing shop that was mostly farm clothes, to living only a half hour away from the nearest supermall, and walking distance from her very first thrift store. Though she was fond of the colour and brightness of the clothing in the shopping centres, her wallet was not nearly as fond of how much she spent on those clothes, and so her love for thrift shopping took root not long after the move. 

It was the previous owner of ‘Hidden Gems’ who’d given her the idea of pursuing a business degree, telling she could open her own store one day and would be more likely to succeed if she had even more tools to help. Just as she did with everything else in her life, Cat put her everything into her dream, putting in more effort for the schoolwork in college than she ever had with any homework in high school, working as many hours as she could at ‘Hidden Gems’, all while trying to balance a social life. There’d been a test or two she’d barely passed, definitely a couple shifts accidentally missed, and more than one friend who’d been told ‘i’m five minutes away’ when she’d only just woken up, but she made it in the end.

She’d continued working at Hidden Gems at the owner’s insistence, under the title of assistant manager, so as to ‘gain experience managing’, they’d claimed. Cat wasn’t expecting the offer to sell to her, nor could she have said no to the atrociously low price that the previous owner had offered it to her. It was a dream come true, though a lonely dream to live indeed. A yearning for companionship would forever echo in her heart, but she could ignore the pain if she was satisfied in every other aspect of her life, or so she's convinced herself.

[arramdraper]

You know how sometimes you just need to experience something but you don't know exactly what that is

and so you read or watch or do a bunch of things but none of them is really exactly what you're looking for

close but not quite and so it doesn't exactly fix whatever it was that's causing the problem and you just sorta keep going and doing and reading and watching

and then eventually you find the thing that just... makes you feel whatever it was that you needed and it's just this gigantic sense of relief and you just... finally feel like the world is right, even if it's just for a second.

[kanakht]

The one thing I've learned from academia is that you don't actually have to know what you're talking about, you just have to sound like you do.

For example, I'm a media snob but it's completely on my own terms.  I've never taken classes on literature or movies.  I couldn't tell you what proper accepted conventions are.  I can't really tell the difference between most styles and genres that aren't obvious.  I have literally no tangible authority.  But I also know all that shit is objective and I know what I like and I make myself my own authority when I review or get involved in debates.  This doesn't mean I'm talking completely out of my ass. I also know the importance of good research and references.  I speak my mind but I know how to back it up.

So even if you don't think you "know" a lot, if you have feelings on the matter, in my opinion, they're still important and that's enough reason to say something.  Make it matter but also be smart about it.