#mountainsatherback

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Frayed Threads

by Cailin

[mountainsatherback]

Enough and more

by Cailin

[mountainsatherback]

Howl

By Cailin

[mountainsatherback]

Hoping to land my body with words at this moment, the poetics of play in cadence, texture and sound. To mark the birth of my father a few months back I have gifted him with monthly scribblings of what I am calling poetry and is yet another outlet for my musings, a way of letting him in a bit more perhaps, and letting myself out--so true. I keep pen and paper next to my bed now and admire my black ink lines taking shape in a cursive all my own--calm in that liminal moment of coming to meet myself and the scenes + sentiments emerging before me on the page. It is such a surprising and enjoyable process of discovery and remembering for me. 

Here are some of them, not chosen in any particular order or with an eye for, “oh, this one is good.” Unfiltered here.

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[mountainsatherback]

No spotlight, please.

Wide awake in the darkness, I hear the midnight train calling out its passage through the meadows with the owl’s cottonwood stand. Another candle burns low, guttering in its sweat until it looks like a far-off moon rising over January ice in the lake country: cold. Defiant.

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And to the many families I have met with over the last two years as a case manager of a social service agency--oh how my heart goes out to you. But I need it back, you see. I will go to the river to tell her your stories. I will be practicing releasing you from my burdened shoulders and heart. I have learned not to cry so I can be strong with you and for you while you tend to your children, your bodies, your shelter. I wept inside and I now ache. With so much gratitude for what I’ve learned from our journeys in securing what is necessary and vital, I bowed out of this role one week ago. 

I can now give more time and heart to my path along the studies of healing. Acupuncture is in this house and it makes my mind and heart sing when mixed with the mysteries and truths of women’s bodies. 

I draw myself close to the fires I have kindled along the years--they’ve never stopped burning. And you can see they trace a path of service and longing the entire way, my path. So too, do I draw myself close to the people who I love most, for I can feel lost and uprooted when I cast further out from their circle. May I know to be true: great work in the world can be done without the many eyes of strangers looking on. I do not need your permission for my movements.

[mountainsatherback]

Sunset after a huge storm. What an evening!! From one beautiful and poignant moment to the next with my heart people! Mah peepol! #ittakesavillage #dontholdback #trust #friends #senseofplace #mountainsatherback #nofilter #boulderco #colorado #boco #storm #sunset

[mountainsatherback]

Rain just started up again, but not before I mowed the lawn (!), mucked out the soggy chicken shit, etc out of their run, churned compost heap, and picked up some more seeds for the front garden. Booya! Now for the indoor chores. #prettyflowers #backyardchickens #chores #urbanhomestead #foodnotlawns #dayoffkindof #getitdone #mountainsatherback

[mountainsatherback]

My new, custom made ring from @westclove has just arrived and I love it! Thank you Arali for hosting the giveaway! Feels so special that this was made just for me. #westclovejewelry #custommade #ring #instagiveaway #lucky #wildandpreciouslife #mountainsatherback #adornwithstory #artisan #grateful #snowdaygift