The "Movie Widow" defined.
I will often refer to myself as a "movie widow" and wanted to take the opportunity to elaborate on what it means.
I'm not the first person to use this reference, I believe it was in fact one of C's co workers, and surely it came from someone else, or is used by others. None the less, I think it's a great way to describe myself, and others like me.
As you may be aware (and if not, I'm about to school you), the motion picture industry is not solely relegated to Los Angeles. Crazy, I know. Despite the fact that California as a whole has so much to offer in the way of vast scenery, live - in movie stars and all of the people who work to make that block buster you can't wait to see, the production companies are provided with greater opportunity at times, to take a project outside of the mother land. Sure, they almost all start out in Hollywood, but most are eventually outsourced for one reason or another. Usually, the cost of doing business.
That being said, for the most part, anyone who's started a project will more than likely be given the "opportunity" to go on location with production. I say "opportunity" with quotation, because in almost every case, if you don't go, you don't have a job anymore. There is little loyalty to those who stay behind. In my experience, many of the good folks who travel are generally single or divorced men. Reason simply being that it is difficult to maintain relationships when you're gone 10 months out of the year, work 12- 18 hour days, 5-7 days a week. Actually, difficult is an understatement.
I've heard too many stories about how so and so is here working, yes, he's divorced, got caught cheating, wasn't there enough for the wife and kids so she left; or never been married at all, gone too often. Just as I've heard these stories, when on location I've also seen some married men out to bars or dinner etc with us (pre babies, of course. pft, like we have time for that anymore), flirting with or taking girls home. It's sad! Some how, with C, I have mostly been forced (not against my will) to tag along. That's just how our relationship is, I guess. He's always wanted me to come, and I hadn't had a reason to say no. There are others who bring their wives and children along, but not many at all.
To put all of that into a nice tidy package of explanation, we the wives are widowed and left behind for the sake of the job. Ya gotta eat! Either the men are traveling for a majority of their work, and, even if they can and do bring their families, are still subject to unusually long hours. We rarely see them. There have been weeks at a time where when actually working at home, C and I would literally pass each other on the freeway as either of us were coming or going to work.
It is almost as lonesome, difficult and frustrating as being married to someone in the military. Not that I am comparing jobs, because it's so not the same, but that's just the best way I can think to describe it.
C was out of town working during my first pregnancy. Our house is a couple of hours away from family and friends. We thought it best that I sit that "show" out, so that I could stick with my doctors, and if god forbid anything should happen, someone would be "close" by. For all intents and purpose, I spent those 9 months fending for myself. He came home 2 weeks before my induction and subsequent emergency cesarean. The upside to working these ridiculous jobs is having several months off in between, so he was able to be home bonding with our first much longer than your average dad (see, it isn't all for not, fyi.).
Flash forward to my second pregnancy. We were in North Carolina when we become pregnant with M. So, while I was thankful to have my darling husband around, it really made no difference. Even as helpful as he tried to be, he still had wretched hours and responsibilities. So here I am 2500 miles away from my mother, my best friend, and the comfort of my own home; caring for a toddler, and myself while severely pregnant, with little to no assistance. Again, after the show had ended, we returned home and C was off for several months. Only this time he started work the SAME DAY that I went into labor.
...Remember that thing I said about job loyalty? He had to return to work 2 weeks later. Now I'm home. With a toddler and a newborn while recovering from another c section, on my own.
I'm not looking for pitty, or for anyone to feel sorry for my situation in the slightest. I am simply sharing these experiences as examples to back up the definition of "movie widow". Hands down, there are many who are far worse off than I.
Despite how crazy it is to move so often, and how hard it is to be away from home, I love my husband, and I'm pretty sure he likes me back. If we didn't travel, he would never get to see his kids, and that is something that is very important to us. It is also THE reason that I'm a SAHM. I will always be there. No matter what. No matter where. Though soon, where won't be so much of a question mark.
So that's it. That's my rant or vent or whatever you want to call it on the life of a movie widow. Nap time is almost over, and just as you might have guessed, I'm on my own even though it's Saturday. Adios for now, muchachitos.
