--Secret Report: Axel: Day 118--
Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life back when I was a kid. It's a weird sensation.
I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don't feel like it anymore. It's strange, but I'm content with just missing what's gone.
I'm not the one who changed. You did.
Happy Akusai Day! Here are my seven drabbles to fill in seven prompts for Akusai month.
Rating: G, except for one T
Word count: (collectively) ~2k
WARNING: poetic attempts re: hints of sex
DAY 01 (JUL 8, SAT): RED AND BLUE
Isa always had an aversion to the color red.
It’s too vivid, too bright, too full of life that he doesn’t have extra energy for. All the things he owns are either grey, black or white, his room devoid of color except for he himself—blue and tanned.
He doesn’t know what comes over him when he sees /him/ that fated day—in a garden full of green and vibrant hues, petals flowing in the wind from /him/ to Isa—and Isa decides, maybe red is alright. Maybe red can infiltrate his cheeks when /he/ holds his hand. Maybe red can be clutched by his hands when /he/ holds him tenderly as they make love. Maybe red fits perfectly in his house, all the more when red tangles with blue as they lay beside each other in bed.
When Lea looks at him, and promises him a life lived in purple, red and blue joined as one, Isa decides.
Red isn’t so bad after all.
***
Lea had always searched for the color blue.
He heads out at high noon to see a cloudless sky. He travels far to the sea, watch it sparkle under the sun. He keeps plenty of his things as blue as they can be, knowing that red is a stark contrast, and it makes him feel complete.
Yet when he sees /him/—in a sea of green, flower petals guiding his gaze to look at /him/, he realizes he’d been wrong all this time. All his trinkets, his furniture, his blue painted house—none of them compared to the blue of this man he loves. Such soft, silky hair, so blue against his fair skin. He loves it when red invades /his/ tan skin whenever he holds /him/.
As Lea looks at him, and promises him a life lived in purple, red and blue joined as one, Isa looks as beautiful as the day he first met him.
Blue was the color he needed after all.
DAY 02 (JUL 13, TH): FIRST* / LAST
On the day of his cousin’s wedding, the party celebrated at one of the many flowery areas of Radiant Garden, Isa first sees him by the punch bowl, which, despite its stark pinkness, was only half the vibrance of his red hair. Isa thought his head was a gigantic red rose at first, but at second glance he realized it was simply fiery red hair.
Way too red.
Despite his distaste for the color, his blue-green eyes kept wandering back to him. He is easy to spot against green, and even against the colors of flowers on the bushes. Aside from his blaring hair, his grey suit fit him snugly, Isa’s eyes able to measure every angle of his body within the hour he’d spent walking around the party, eyes following him.
Isa turns at a corner to keep him in his gaze when a strong breeze blew by. It picks up loose petals among the bushes, his short blue hair blowing to his face, that he has to tug them back behind his ear, closing his eyes in fear of dust getting in.
Once the wind blows weaker, the petals flowing past him, he sees /him/—bright green eyes, staring right into Isa’s soul.
***
It had been months since they first met that they finally sleep together. Not that it was Lea’s first time sleeping next to him, but it was the first time without clothes, sweaty skin sliding against sweaty skin, tongues dancing and fingers gripping bodies as close as they could.
It was beautiful. Isa is beautiful. With his short blue hair, a little longer now than when he first met him, spread out like a fan against Lea’s cream sheets. Isa’s shaky voice in his ears as they move together. Isa’s heated girth inside of him as he rode him.
Isa becomes more beautiful as red rushes to his cheeks, lips swollen pink, Lea’s name slipping from his tongue.
He loves it when Isa comes, shaking vehemently but his eyes lustfully open, staring at him—blue-green eyes, staring right into Lea’s soul.
DAY 03 (JUL 18, T): SWAP* / REFLECTION
Isa should’ve known not to come out of his house in Lea’s clothes. But how was he to know that his cousin’s husband would recognize this horrible shirt? But then right, right. Lea was at the wedding because he was Xigbar’s subordinate. Isa wants to slap himself repeatedly now.
Xigbar continues to cackle, Demyx trying not to laugh with him but failing horribly.
Isa frowns, in his orange sweater, the yellow sun with giant-lens sunglasses on his chest waving ‘Good morning’.
***
Lea knew he hadn’t worn his underwear, but he couldn’t have foreseen how aroused he’d be by lunchtime by the mere (constant) thought that he was wearing Isa’s underwear. Black, silky to touch though not silk. It makes him feel hot, and hotter still.
He takes a quick break before lunchtime when he jerks off, in a stall—moans silenced while he hears other people chattering in the bathroom. He has a picture of Isa on his phone, one taken in the throes of passion—smiling one of his rare, genuine smiles with his hair a mess against the sheets and sweat shining upon his brow.
When he comes, he silently whispers Isa’s name, the “I” remaining on his lips longer than the “sa”. He has to come twice, the second burst caused by the fact he’d come in Isa’s underwear.
When Isa gets home that night, Lea makes his lover watch him touch himself—legs spread out on the sofa, the underwear he’d worn to his nose.
DAY 04 (JUL 23, SUN): SOULMATES* / OPPOSITES
Isa wouldn’t exactly call him his soulmate. Isa didn’t believe in a higher power, in red strings, or in other halves to be whole once you find The One that fit you perfectly.
But he does believe in Lea. Believes that his love for this man far surpasses all hatred he’s ever borne put together. He’s the person that made Isa love the red he once so despised, after all. Lea has that kind of power.
With his own willpower, Isa would keep him close. Never chain him, nor tie him down, but keep Lea pulled toward him with enough kisses and hugs, tiny but constant showers of affection. Make Lea feel content enough, despite the possibilities Lea would feel incomplete and imperfect in his company, to keep a smile on his face for the rest of their days.
Lea may not be his soulmate. But he is Isa’s love.
***
Lea knew with one glance that Isa was his. The year that followed made him feel even more determined of its truth, but the months that followed made him wonder if he really could call him ‘his’.
This relationship of theirs is no longer as smooth-sailing as it used to be. They argue and disagree. Sometimes they make offending comments, shout and tear their own hair. There had been times Lea thought he could lose Isa through one, tiny misunderstanding that would finally be the last crack to make the porcelain vase fall apart.
It was strange. Lea had thought being with one’s soulmate meant sparkles, fast heart-beats and red strings magically putting them together, promising them they would stay together no matter how harsh the storms tear down the sky. Yet no matter how hopeless and unconquerable the rift between would seem, they manage to pull closer, not because of an outside force keeping them locked in a certain space, but by tugging through roughest paths, teeth gritted to swallow down pride, reaching out for even the slightest intimate touch. One touch, one word, one teardrop of honesty, and they start anew.
Isa may not be his soulmate. But he is Lea’s love.
DAY 05 (JUL 28, F): BLIND DATE / DEAF TO RUMORS*
One would think that after three years together, happily living in the caresses of each other’s love, Isa would learn to have no room for doubt. Yet he had sat frozen upon their purple couch the entire time he was at home that week, polluting his mind with vivid images of betrayal, wishing and wishing that Lea would send him a text, or call to clear toxin away. (Lea does, of course, send texts and call. He doesn’t miss a night, morning or afternoon, tiny texts and lovey-dovey stickers sent in between meetings.)
When Lea comes home Sunday morning, Isa greets him with a fervent kiss, pushing him against the wall, pouring his frustrations into Lea’s soon-to-be swollen lips. Isa silences the awful poison produced by his own toxic thoughts that had tainted his love black, and finds the truth in Lea’s touches that ache for him as much as he does Lea. They make love the entire Sunday, go to work late the next day.
By then, Isa’s love had been cleansed fresh.
***
It had been easy to ignore the voice at the back of his mind that told him Isa had a bad past with an ex-lover. Lea convinced himself that for as long as he pours Isa all his love, Isa would learn there’s nothing to fear. He would be alright.
As the years pass, however, he learns of more broken bits underneath Isa’s beautiful shell, hidden layer beneath layer. Rather than shut Isa’s brokenness off, Lea listens. He knows Isa keeps a lot to himself, which Lea respects. Instead, he always keeps a hand outstretched to let Isa know he’s still with him, ready to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on. He hasn’t left him all these years, and he doesn’t intend on doing so in the future. Lea is here with him, through the struggle and pain, the joys and blessings.
If Isa needs it, he’ll keep kissing his temple, or suck juices from his heated skin, or whisper “I love you”s in languages both intelligible and not, all so Isa can push away the fears he has no reason to keep locked in.
DAY 06 (AUG 2, W): SCHOOL DAYS* / ORGANIZATION XIII
Isa learned the hard way that having many friends doesn’t necessarily mean there are just as many people out there concerned for him. Through his years in school, he made friends with, and eventually gave his heart to, the wrong kinds of people. These failed relationships, platonic or romantic, had left him broken, for no matter how much he pulled the other person in order to keep whatever’s between them whole, none of them pulled him right back. No one wanted him.
When Lea found him at the garden that day, celebrating someone else’s happiness when he knows he can never find his own, Isa had already become bitter and grey, convinced he is unable to love and be loved in turn.
Lea—crazy hair in the color Isa despised, looking at Isa like he’s all that matters in the world, every touch true and full of love.
He’d been saved.
***
Lea had always been surrounded by people, and early on did he pick up who’s to be trusted, who should not, and who can be manipulated. He wasn’t one of the best students—both in terms of grades or attitude. He’d been a bully, and learning of how Isa used to be as a kid, it scares him to think he himself would’ve been on the bullying side.
He’s happy he met Isa when he did.
Isa—smooth hair in the color Lea had always dreamed of, a gaze of love with a layer of ‘When will you leave me?’ underneath that Lea always dares to prove wrong, every touch true and full of love.
In Isa’s eyes, it may be him that Lea saved, not considering how he saved Lea from becoming the horrible person he surely would have been had he not found this genuine love they share.
DAY 07 (AUG 7, M): FREE
They were both saved.
And they both will keep pulling each other close. Defying fate when it attempts to pull them apart. Holding each other with tender fingers, clinging onto each other with desperate arms, mouths hungering for passion only each other could give.
Together they are not halves of the same whole. They are two different people, coexisting in a world they carve with their own hands.
With the power they hold, they stay together for the rest of their days, conquering no matter what challenge comes their way.
They are Lea and Isa. They are each other’s love.
End notes: Aaaaaanndd that’s it! Thank you for reading this far, and for your time. I hope you enjoyed these tiny drabbles.
I’ll be rambling a little bit now.
My apologies this strategy may have been some sort of cheating the prompts. I started writing these a week before the event started, and it had been my plan to post these drabbles on the assigned days themselves. I would have posted Day 1, but I got scared, feeling like posting such few words was a half-assed effort compared to those who post full fics or drawings or videos. In the end, however, my guilt won. I figured I should participate in the event I organized since I hadn’t the past two years. I suppose it’s a small attempt to get back into it. I hope next year I can write full entries and give this ship I love justice.
What? Is anyone still reading this far into my ramble? Ahaha. Thank you truly for your time. Please have a great day!
Writing exercise. Also bec I feel fucking lazy today so I felt I must make Isa feel the same. ahahaha
Title: Not a cloud in the sky [AO3]
Prompt: lazy weekends and staying in bed. kissing?? p much akusaps (sappy akusais) to heal my akusai heartbreak wounds
Isa lies in bed, white sheets spread beneath him like feathers to his skin, staring out the open window. The curtains move slightly, flowing with grace, as a breeze comes in to kiss his cheeks, his knees, his arms. His pillow is a small cloud upon which his head rests, and he feels like he's starting to float on air, the white sheets turning into clouds as well. The sky outside is blue, without a dab of white. All clouds must have assembled here on his bed, he believes, to cradle him to unbelievable heights of comfortable.
He could stay like this the whole day.
He hears the bed creak, feels springs shift under the weight of someone else slowly crawling into bed. Isa groans, louder than he usually would, to relay his discontent to the cause of disturbance. Rather than apologies, he hears a muffled laugh, and the bed creaks again. He doesn't tear his gaze from the clear blue sky, his only source of comfort now that the clouds have gone back to being sheets. But eventually, emerald eyes and bright red hair block his view of the window, too.
Isa groans again, and makes sure to pout before the other speaks.
"Grumpy today, too, I see." The redhead snickers. He casts a shadow over Isa, his body hovering over the other's. Isa notes Lea's eyes look greener and clearer despite the shadows of his face. "Good morning." Lea whispers, then ducks down to place a kiss on Isa's lips, which Isa permits him. The kiss makes fluff appear in his stomach, replacing the anger that was bubbling just moments ago, but Isa remembers he must keep face. He's supposed to be mad at Lea for disturbing his rest.
"You made the clouds disappear."
"Clouds?" Lea turns his head towards the window. He sees that there are no signs of clouds in the sky. "Ahh, yeah, there aren't any clouds today, huh." He turns back to Isa, planting more kisses across his face. "But what does that have to do with me?"
"I was sleeping on them." Isa says, as-a-matter-of-factly. Lea continues to kiss him, on the cheek, on the forehead, on the neck. Isa can never quite understand Lea's obsession with kisses, but he supposes he's used to it now.
"Were you still dreaming? Well, you have to wake up now, princess." Lea tries to fend off the punch to his gut, but reacts too late. He knows he shouldn't call Isa a princess (for he was no where similar to one), but likes cracking the joke during the rare times he wakes up earlier than the other. "Oof, break--breakfast is ready." He gasps. "The three of us are done eating."
While Lea coughs out the pain, making sure to cough to the side rather than at Isa's face, the blue-haired spots clear blue behind Lea, and resumes to gaze at the sky.
Lea recovers and he's back to hovering over Isa, the sky blocked from Isa's sight once again. Isa glares.
"I can eat later." Isa whispers. No pain in indulging in nature before partaking in bare necessities, right?
"Eat later my ass. You'll be here the whole day if I don't drag you out now."
Isa lines his lips in reply. The redhead is right, he can't deny that. But he can't say that out loud, either. Can't have Lea having a bigger head that he already has.
"Should I bring you food here, instead?"
Isa nods willingly, with much cheer than he normally permits himself.
"Okay. After one more kiss." Lea grins. Isa rolls his eyes. He waits to let Lea kiss him, but when no kiss comes, he realizes Lea meant he has to initiate the kiss.
To comply, Isa lifts his hands to Lea's face, which is practically the only movement he's done this morning. Lea's cheeks are warm underneath Isa's palms as he guides him down, the rest of Lea's body sinking, pressing unto him. Their lips meet, and Isa thinks it's enough for 'one more kiss', but as it usually is with Lea, as it is with anything Isa wants, he wants more.
Isa's tongue darts unto Lea's lips, tasting pancakes from breakfast on them. Lea breaths out through his mouth shakily, eyes closed, pleasured by Isa's hand running up and down his back. Isa takes the opportunity to let his tongue enter Lea's mouth. Their tongues slide, dancing, hands clutching at hair or bed sheet or clothes. Lea presses deeper against Isa, loving how Isa's warmth passes unto him even through their clothes. The room feels warmer with every pleasurable moan escaping their lips.
For a moment it feels like the clouds had come back around Isa, carrying him and Lea off to who knows where. Isa clutches at Lea's shirt tight, his nails scraping against the skin beneath it. His legs wraps around Lea, too, as if fearing he'd fall.
The kiss ends and they pant heavily, like they'd gone to outer space and came back to finally breathe.
"Good morning. Again." Lea huffs between breathe, still trying to catch his breathing after the long kiss.
Isa tangles his fingers in Lea's hair, guides the redhead's forehead to his lips, then replies, a smile on his face. "Good morning."
They let moments pass staring into each other's eyes before Lea motions to get off bed.
"You should go brush your teeth." Lea says as he rolls off to the side of the bed.
Isa grunts. "Not my fault you get off making out with me even before I brush my teeth." Isa hears Lea laugh at the comment as Lea walks out the room.
Isa plants his feet into his slippers at the side of the bed and stands up. Might as well get through with morning routine, then head back to bed as fast as possible. He sees Lea making his way into the kitchen, and hears Roxas and Xion playing a video game in the living room, when he crosses the hall to the bathroom.
"Since you're up," Lea shouts from the kitchen as Isa puts toothpaste on his toothbrush. Isa hears him press microwave buttons. "might as well eat breakfast at the table."
Isa replies when he's done brushing his teeth and has made his presence at the kitchen table. He glares at Lea as he takes a seat. "That was your objective, wasn't it?"
Lea smiles innocently and sets a plate of pancakes on before him. "Whatever do you mean, moon bun."
"You manipulative bastard." Isa glares, but there's less anger in them for Lea than there is for himself. He should've seen through Lea's schemes.
Lea watches him eat from the chair beside him, chipper because he managed to make Isa eat breakfast at the table. Lea 1, Isa 0.
"Wipe that grin off your face."
"Wipe it off with your mouth." Lea hums.
"That's stupid."
"You're stupid."
"You're unbelievable."
"Unbelievably charming, dashing and handsome, you mean?"
Roxas laughs from the living room. He shouts over Xion panicking over their game. "Nice one, Lea."
"Two points, Lea. Zero, Isa." Lea laughs. "High five, Rox!" Roxas sets his controller down and space high-fives Lea from across the room. Xion grumbles profanities under her breath, and a little bit of "I'll win the next round, god damn it."
"You're both idiots." Isa mutters deadpan under his breath. He stands up to start washing his plates, Lea following suit.
"Don't you have anything planned for today?" Isa asks when he noticed Lea watching him soap the plate.
"Nah. Today's one of those rare, free days. I guess."
"Hmm," Isa responds.
When Isa's about to start rinsing the plate and utensils, Lea taps his hip. "What?"
"I'll take over."
"I can wash my own dishes, thank you very much."
Lea frowns. He watches Isa rinse off the dishes, and dry them up as well.
"Sorry for forcing you up," the redhead says while Isa's putting the dishes back to their proper places. His eyes apologetic.
Isa half snorts, half laughs, actually surprised at the apology. "It's okay. You were right. I would've stayed there the whole day without eating a bite." When he notices Lea still looks sorry, he plants a kiss on his cheek to relay his sincerity. Lea smiles after.
When Isa's done putting back the dishes, the two of them head into the bedroom. Isa sits on his side of the bed, while Lea lies on his back, lied diagonally on the bed, using Isa's lap as a pillow. They hold hands, both staring outside the window, watching the clear blue sky.
"Still no clouds, huh." Lea starts.
"Yep, no clouds."
"..."
"It's pretty."
"Yeah, it is." Lea pauses. "Not as pretty as you, though." He winks at Isa, and snickers when Isa slaps his forehead.
"You and your pick up lines game." Isa rolls his eyes, though laughing, as he pinches Lea's nose.
"Ow, ow, ow, stoppp, I can'd breade."
Isa lets go of his nose, laughing at the red head making funny faces as he tried to feel his nose again. 'Bringing it back to life', he calls it. After a while, they settle back into staring out the window once more.
"Nothing like a nice day doing nothing, huh?"
Isa notices a cloud creeping in from the corner of the window. He smiles.
"Yup."
---
kill me with cute akusais OTL
I've been having much more fun writing recently and I'm glad. Yes.
"It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus"
It was raining hard that day. Lea was on queue for the bus, the second of more than ten in line. The shed kept him safe and dry from the sudden powerful downpour, so he had the umbrella one of his roommates made bring that day tucked under his arm. Dry and unused. It started raining when he was already at the stop.
Lea was watching droplets of water fall from the shed roof to a puddle by the bus stop sign, when he saw him in the corner of his eye, lining up last for the bus.
It was one of his classmates. Lea remembered him because of his long, (beautiful and looks silky, Lea noted on the first day of class) blue hair, and his ability to shut the professor up with his brilliance when the professor thought he wasn't paying attention.
But his beautiful hair didn't look much silky that day. It was drenched with rain and stuck to his neck and clothes. Hadn't he brought an umbrella? The other students and professors behind Lea seemed to have brought one.
Maybe he didn't have a roommate like Xion who'd shove an umbrella at his face after seeing the weather forecast on the morning news, Lea mused.
The redhead sighed. Well, that wasn't his problem, was it? The last person in line next to him would probably offer him to stand under the same umbrella anyway.
Except the person in front of him in line didn't. No one did.
Lea clicked his tongue in frustration. Couldn't the bus arrive sooner? He didn't want to feel more guilty with every passing second he stood under the shed with an unused, dry umbrella under his arm while a classmate sneezed from the cold rain.
When he next clicked his tongue a few seconds later, Lea took the umbrella from under his arm, opened it, took his backpack to hold it from the front, and stepped out of his place in line.
The blue-haired classmate looked up at him, a mix of surprise and suspicion on his face, when he saw Lea queue behind him.
"Uhm?" The blue-haired muttered. He still eyed Lea suspiciously.
"It’s raining. You seem to have forgotten your umbrella. So come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus." Lea said, jaw clenched. He lost his spot, he could've been on the bus ride home in less than two minutes, yet this classmate didn't even greet him a fucking 'hello'.
"Oh, I haven't forgotten my umbrella. I just don't want to use it." The sarcasm in Classmate's tone rivalled the strength of the pouring rain. Lea wanted to strangle him right then and there.
"Just come over. And stand. Under mine."
"Is this some sort of new pick up line? Sorry, not looking for anything special right now."
"Ugh, geez." Lea would scratch the back of his neck if he had a free hand. "I'm your fucking classmate. From that Intro to Galaxy or whatever elective. Lea. Got it memorized?"
"Ahh, the sleeper."
"'scuse me?" Lea snorted. "I slept once in class, once, you got it? But the prof made a huge deal about it. Now get the fuck in here before I strangle you."
Seemingly amused, a smile starting to crawl on his lips, Classmate obliged. "Thanks, Lea."
"You're welcome, er..."
"Isa."
"Isa? Like the girl's name?"
"Whatever, Princess Lea." Isa teased, replacing "Leia" with "Lea".
Lea hissed at the nickname. He hadn't heard that joke in ages, and he was grateful for its absence. It wouldn't hit him until months later, on his nth date with Isa, why Isa already knew the spelling to his "Lea", which everyone else assumed to be "Lee".
"Touché." Lea replied now. Isa smiled in triumph.
The moments until the bus arrived were quiet. None of them knew what to say next. Not that they couldn't think of anything to say. It was more that they had so many things they wanted to say, to ask, to learn about the other--the Classmate who Caught My Eye--that they couldn't say anything.
The bus arrived, much to Lea's disappointment. Lea wondered when he saw Isa's shoulders fall for a moment before he stood up straight again, if he was disappointed, too.
None of them spoke until before it was Isa's turn to get on the bus. Isa was on the bus steps when the driver spoke.
"Sorry, sir. I don't think I have room for you anymore." The driver warned Lea. Lea looked inside the bus through the windows. True, the bus looked full. Lea's face was scrunched in even more disappointment (that he couldn't get home just yet) until Isa stepped off the bus.
"We'll take the next bus, then." Isa smiled (quite warmly) at the driver.
"Apologies, sirs." The driver lifted his hat in apology. He closed the doors and drove off.
Lea stood there, under the shed with Isa, not knowing what to say. Isa looked at him expectantly. But that was the thing--what did Isa expect him to say? Lea fumbled over words in his head. Too many feelings to feel in the span of two minutes--guilt, anger, embarrassment, shock. All for one guy.
Finally, his brain managed to make him say, "Want to get some coffee?"
Isa looked at him in the eye. Not a trace of suspicion nor humor left in them. Just--something. Lea couldn't put quite what.
