The Undead Perfectionist: How Perfectionists are Zombies
They’re coming...
It's no use denying it anymore. You've seen the signs. You know, the one kid in your first period that never seems quite all there. The coworker that randomly growls and snarls at things. The friend that has a weird obsession with dissection videos on YouTube?
…No?
Okay, then. Maybe you’re oblivious. Regardless, you need to be ready for when the dead start walking. Don't let your mental blocks be the reason you succumb to the undead. Keep scrolling for the Perfectionist's Guide to the Apocalypse.
The Outbreak
The apocalypse typically starts with some idiot scientist messing with something they shouldn’t have, right? Perfectionism kind of starts the same way. A person (typically a child) is living their life, and then some Outside Force (typically society or well-meaning parents) comes along and essentially tells the person they’re not good enough.
They mess with something that didn’t necessarily need to be messed with.
Here are some ways perfectionist tendencies are formed.
Braaaaaaainnnss...
Basic knowledge: you take a zombie out with a head shot. Unfortunately, dealing with perfectionism isn't that easy. Part of understanding it is getting into a perfectionist's head, though; more specifically, understanding their way of thinking.
Here is a guide to understanding some of the underlying cognitive tendencies of perfectionists.
Adapt and Overcome
I can think of several zombie movies that feature a protagonist that seemingly (or even overtly) live by a set of rules that keep them alive in the apocalypse. Since they typically aren’t dead by the end of the movie, they must be following some pretty decent guidelines, right? So, let’s take a few of them and use them for our perfectionism.
Rule 1: Cardio. Between hacking at zombies, climbing hard-to-reach places, and sprinting to escape a horde, surviving in an apocalypse means you have to be in shape to some degree. Stay at least healthy enough to be able to run faster than the slowest person. Likewise, part of the battle with staying on top of perfectionism is not letting it catch up to you (i.e. not letting it get in the way of taking care of yourself). Your body is the temple that houses your greatest weapon. That mean you take showers, you remember to eat, you get more than two hours of sleep, and you set aside time to relax every now and then.
It might also literally mean getting your cardio exercise in. A study by Herring and colleagues (2012) found that those with Major Depressive Disorder who exercised regularly received as much benefit as they would from medications. Furthermore, women with Generalized Anxiety Disorder who did 2 weeks of resistance training or cardio decreased their worrying symptoms by 60%. If exercise can benefit those who have a diagnosis, then surely it also benefits those of us with perfectionist tendencies.
Rule 2: When in doubt, know your way out. Obviously, when the zombies arrive, it’s smart to know your escape routes in any and all situations. It’s also smart to be able to talk yourself out of a mental rut so you don’t get “stuck” in an unhealthy thought pattern.
Recognize when you’re being overly critical of yourself or others, and replace your perfectionist thoughts with more realistic and helpful ones. Channel your inner Hanna Montana: “Nobody’s perfect,” and “everybody makes mistakes.” As cheesy as pre-2012 Cyrus lyrics were, they actually are reflective of reality. In the end, you’re only human. You know. Until you get bitten.
Rule 3: Don’t be a lone hero. In an apocalypse, the chances of surviving by yourself are pretty small. Don’t be your own worst enemy by being the loner that’s afraid of dragging down your friends and family. The burden isn’t all on you to save the world. You need other people on your quest to find the antidote that will cure humanity, so don’t be afraid to trust people, and allow them to help you when you’re struggling. It’s okay if you’re not pleasant all the time; it’s okay if you mess up, and it’s okay if you’re not perfect. You can at least increase your chances of thriving during the apocalypse (i.e. thriving in spite of your perfectionism) by surrounding yourself with people who show you support AND people that you can support. If you’re distancing yourself from friends and family in an apocalypse, you’re also unable to protect them if trouble comes their way. Likewise, you may not realize how many of those around you also suffer from perfectionism. Perhaps the burden would be more bearable if you reached out for help. Keep that in mind, and your’re well on your way to becoming the ultimate undead survivor.
Keep From Going Stir Crazy
Surviving in an apocalypse isn’t all just killing zombies and finding food, you know. Remember in Train to Busan when the protagonist learns to thrive by building relationships with the people on the train? Escaping the zombies and surviving wasn’t the only thing consuming his mine anymore; instead, he was learning to thrive by building meaningful relationships with the other people on the train. There’s a difference between surviving and thriving, and that’s where these handy little things called “coping mechanisms” come in.
Like the zombie virus, perfectionism isn’t something that just goes away. You find ways to live around it, so it’s not the only thing consuming your thoughts, day after day. Here are a few coping mechanisms:
Habits with Habitica: Habitica is an online role-playing game that can help the wayward perfectionist fight procrastination and provide incentives to get things done. Level up and go on quests while keeping your life together!
The art of Zentangle: Zentangles are a form of art therapy. They’re basically swirly masses of lines, shapes,and doodles, typically drawn in black and white. You don’t have to be an “art person” to do Zentangle; the whole idea is to destress with mindless squiggles and doodles.
Alter the way you think: a large part of managing perfectionism is simply altering your mindset. Alongside the rules above, this page should also provide more concrete ways to change your mindset. It may be hard, but I promise you can do it.
