Help a Writer Out
Soooooooooo, I have a short story project due for my creative writing class next week! It’s an excerpt from a bigger project, but it fits the assignment. I need some feed back on what I have so far on it.
The night air was warm and humid. Insects hummed, and the creatures that prowled the jungle were howling, hooting, and screeching. But, one sound broke the usual late night chorus; the cry of an infant.
The wild people that lived near the rift camped to the south, closer to the ruins. Unless the screaming child belonged to an enemy tribe, there was no reason for there to be a crying baby anywhere in the immediate area. The temple that housed the rift was heavily guarded at night. No one was allowed at the ruin after dark.
Perplexed, the woman walked down the steps of the jungle temple, looking from left to right, hoping to quickly find the source of the noise. Noise would attract attention, and she didn't want that. She, herself, was not supposed to be there.
The warm jungle floor tickled her bare feet as she reached the base of the temple, thrumming slightly. It was an unfamiliar beat, so unlike the earth where she lived. With a look of disdain, she lifted off the ground on faintly glowing golden butterfly wings and continued her search.
She followed the cries out into the surrounding forest, growing more impatient the longer she searched. Surely someone heard the crying child. Why was nothing being done about it?
And then, she saw a flash of pale skin in the moon light. Quickly, she moved towards it, eager to silence the child and return to her work. As she found where the child lay, she couldn't help but pause and stare.
The baby's skin pale- pink, almost. What little hair the infant had was pale and blond. It was flailing around in a basket. The basket was definitely from the tribe that protected the temple from outsiders. But, this child was so strange, so much different than they. As the babe opened its eyes to look up at her, she couldn't help but tilt her head. Golden eyes, unlike the normal grey color of an infant, stared up at her.
Slowly, she reached down and picked the child up. Instantly, it ceased its crying, staring up at her with its unnatural, shining eyes. A small smile curled at the edge of the woman's lip as she gazed down at the child. Wherever the infant had come from, it was most certainly not normal, and the tribal people had left her in the forest out of fear.
Turning around with the baby in her arms, she walked back towards the temple. Whatever the child was, it was no normal human child, and it was too special to leave for the jaguars to eat. There was only one person who would know what to do with this child.
Quickly, she glided up the stairs of the temple, eager to return home and hand the child over to someone more knowledgeable. She gripped the crystal around her neck and closed her eyes. A flash of light made her open her eyes again. before her, a bright, silvery light hovered, like a tear through the very air itself. Casting one last glance over her shoulder, she stepped through the rift. As she passed through, the rift sealed itself. the light faded, and the forest was dark once more.
