#needing space

[elle-smells]

ok clip was good and all but I can't really care that much if I know nothing about lovro & his mom...

[mindinthevoid]

[rahuratna]

The In-between

For all of us who need the silence. Someone understands. And they'll always wait for you, in the wings.

Silence. Was it too much to ask for?

Megumi was aware of how tense his shoulders were, how they were raised slightly like a shield against the constant scratch of others' company at his door. There was a stiffness to the muscles there that was somehow bothersome, but welcome. He hoped he could wear that prickly aura well enough to discourage conversation, to let their gazes patter over him, like soft drizzle off a raincoat. 

After training, he'd immediately headed away from the tech grounds, one hand searching through his backpack for his trusty headphones.

His quick exit was foiled by none other than Yuuji.

"Hey, Fushiguro! Aren't you hungry?"

Megumi gave a snort as an affirmative.

"Then where are you going? Kugisaki and I are going to grab something from the canteen."

"Got my own lunch."

"But then -"

Megumi hadn't turned, but he heard someone intercept his lively classmate, the mutter of hushed conversation. He continued up the stairs, slightly thankful at the interruption. Yuuji, as kind and well-meaning as he was, didn't really understand when Megumi's mood shifted like this.

It wasn't as if he had much control over it. From the time he'd been thrown to the mercy of the world, Megumi had experienced these spells; an overpowering desire to be alone, truly alone, for periods of time. He didn't know what brought it on. Possibly stress, the demands of being a trainee sorcerer, the way the past would sometimes intrude with silent ferocity into his current thoughts.

At times like this, Megumi knew he could come across as disagreeable, fractious, easily angered. At times, he'd upset people who didn't know that they weren't to blame for these mood changes he experienced. Solitude was not just a cure, it was a means for him to protect the feelings of the people around him, the ones he truly cared for.

His rapid pace had carried him towards a more deserted area of the school, and he made his way to a shaded courtyard he knew was around the corner. Finding a comfortable spot on the grass, he let out a heavy breath he had been holding, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders dissipate. Fingers stilling on the smooth plastic of the headphones, he paused and looked around him.

It was quiet.

It was the quiet you'd only experience up here, in the mountains. There was a stillness that the air wore like a thick shawl, uninterrupted by the sounds of traffic, the muted chatter of crowds or the sharp-edged squeal of electronics. Here, the rustle of the wind through the branches was a distinct voice.

Megumi sometimes wished he could make his own voice heard better. He did not have the cheery charisma of Yuuji, the headstrong confidence of Nobara, the deadly, but whimsical charm of Gojo. People did not gravitate to him, or take note of his serious, direct opinions on things.

When he was little, he'd sometimes imagine grabbing Gojo by the legs and swinging him upside down, shaking him until something fell like a shiny trinket from his pockets, some secret to bearing the brunt of the pressure that fell on his shoulders.

His thoughts were interrupted by voices, ones he recognized. Yuuji and Nobara were approaching the courtyard, but would probably not see him, sheltered as he was behind a high stone wall. He made out the distinctive, upbeat voice of his pink-haired friend almost immediately.

"Where's he hiding? He just up and left after training."

Nobara's exasperated voice sounded from over the wall.

"He's not hiding, he just wants to eat alone."

"But I found those limited edition potato chips in the vending machine. The salted egg ones." Yuuji sounded downright pouty now. "I wanted to share with him."

"You can keep them for him to eat later, dumbass. Why does everything have to be drama with you?"

"That is a false allegation, Kugisaki! I am not dramatic."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Shut up. Also, I like those salted egg chips too, so - "

"I shared with you last time!"

"Last time was when I was in hospital and could barely taste them!"

"Well ... no! These are for Fushiguro."

Megumi rolled his eyes.

These two.

"Fine! Be like that! I'm gonna tell Nanami you're a selfish guy."

"What? No! He already lectured me about not introducing myself properly the other day."

Nobara's laugh was taunting, the one that made it sound like she had pulled away your favourite possession and was holding it just out of your reach.

"Looks like you'll be getting another talking to, young man."

"Kugisakiiiiii ... "

"Oi, let's go get lunch before all the katsudon runs out."

"But didn't Fushiguro come this way?"

Megumi's shoulders sagged. Did Yuuji have to be so persistent? As much as he appreciated the salted egg chips -

"If he is, he doesn't want to be found!"

Nobara sounded more exasperated, a sure sign that the hunger pangs were making her irritable.

Yuuji was standing his ground, however.

"How can you be so sure?"

"That's just how he is, okay? Listen. Fushiguro doesn't want us to know, but he doesn't like snapping at people when he's in a bad mood. He avoids everyone and doesn't talk as much. You've noticed that, right?"

She was met with silence. In spite of himself, Megumi felt his curiosity grow. Finally, Yuuji spoke, and when he did, his voice contained that sober, serious note that was reserved for the rare reflective occasions.

"So that's it, huh. Always wondered. Well, my grandpa was the grumpiest old man ever. I got used to him. I can get used to Fushiguro too."

There was a rustle, as if Nobara had changed position.

"That's his choice, though. If he doesn't want you to -"

"I get it, I get it!"

"Then -"

"But I'm just saying. That's what happens when you get to know someone, right? You get the good and the bad. And sometimes, you get the parts they don't show anyone else. The in-between. It can't just be good all the time, because that'd be creepy."

"Ha. Yeah. Imagine if Fushiguro smiled all the time."

"Ohhh, scary."

"Ew. So gross."

"Right?"

Megumi felt a vein pop on his forehead as these two clowns fell over laughing while slandering his character.

"Oh damn, imagine if he could hear us, Kugisaki?"

"He'd do that thing with his eyes."

"Ohh, yeah, that thing!"

What thing?

"He's so dumb, that dork. He thinks making his eyes narrower means we can't see his expression clearly."

That set them off again. Megumi waited with the patience of someone about to commit a well-planned double homicide. Before long, Yuuji gasped himself to coherent speech again, taking deep breaths.

"Oh man. But yeah. I mean, him worrying about being mean is kinda funny, you know."

"Funny how?"

"Well, think about how I first met him. He saved my life and fought off cursed spirits attacking my friends. And that was all before we'd even had a proper convo, ya know? Like, I knew nothing about this guy, and here he was, risking his life for me."

There was now a strange and unwelcome tightness in Megumi's throat. Yuuji had forgotten two important facts; that Megumi's life had also been saved that day. Not to mention, Yuuji had been threatened with death by none other than himself if Sukuna took over permanently.

"That's how it went. He was just there, shoving me out of the way, telling me to go someplace safe. I mean, I totally get that he needs to be alone sometimes. I guess, I just want to make sure that he's actually okay first. Whether he wants it or not, we're his friends for life, right?"

"Well, heck yeah. He's stuck with us. But ..."

Nobara paused, as if mulling something over.

"You've also gotta learn, Itadori. About him and what he needs. Friendship is a two way street. Get it?"

"Hmm. Yeah, sure I can." There was a crackling sound and the metallic schink of a zipper. "I'll keep these salted egg chips for when I see him, then."

"Now will you cut the friendship talk? I feel like I've tuned into an episode of Yugioh. My stomach's about to digest itself."

"Fiiiiine. Let's go get ... what was on the menu today?"

"Katsudon! I just said - "

"I wasn't paying attention!"

"Clearly, buttface!"

Their voices faded a little as they moved away towards the main building, footsteps shuffling across the stone walkway. Megumi looked down at the headphones that were now in his hand. The headband had three small stickers on it, grey, pink and orange, now creased and faded with the time it had spent jostling around in his backpack. He hadn't put them there, but he saw them every time he reached for his trusty shield against the noise of the day.

The in-between, huh?

He'd always loved silence. It tempered his fractured thoughts, sealing the harsh, cracked edges, replacing them with a soothing void.

Quiet, true quiet, was a gift, but one that came with a heavy price. He thought of the laughter and chatter that must have filled his own house once, long ago. He couldn't remember. It must have been warm.

He'd stay a little longer. Then, maybe he'd take his carefully prepared bento to the canteen. He really did want those salted egg chips.

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

*Loving Someone and Still Setting Boundaries*

As I sit down to write this, I'm reminded of the countless times I've struggled to reconcile my love for someone with the need to set boundaries. It's a delicate dance, one that requires a deep understanding of ourselves and our relationships.

For me, it started with recognizing that I deserve to be loved and respected, even if that means setting boundaries with someone I care about. It's not always easy, but it's necessary for maintaining healthy relationships.

One of the most important boundaries I've learned to set is the need for space. This can be a challenging one, especially when we're deeply invested in someone. But it's essential to remember that we're not just one half of a relationship – we're individuals with our own needs and desires.

Disagreeing with someone we love can be tough, but it's a crucial part of any relationship. It's okay to have different opinions and perspectives, and it's essential to learn how to navigate these disagreements in a healthy way.

Challenging someone we love can be even more difficult, but it's necessary for growth and development. Whether it's encouraging them to pursue their passions or supporting them through tough times, challenging someone we love can help them become the best version of themselves.

Standing up for ourselves is another essential boundary to set. This can be especially challenging when we're in a relationship, as we may feel like we're putting our partner's needs above our own. But it's essential to remember that we deserve to be respected and valued, and standing up for ourselves is a key part of that.

Changing our minds is a natural part of growth and development, and it's essential to be open to new ideas and perspectives. This can be especially challenging when we're in a relationship, as we may feel like we're committed to a particular path or decision. But being open to change can help us grow and develop as individuals, and can even strengthen our relationships.

Walking away when needed is one of the hardest boundaries to set, but it's often necessary for our own well-being. Whether it's taking a break from a toxic relationship or setting boundaries with someone who's draining our energy, walking away can be a powerful act of self-love.

Feeling frustrated is a natural part of any relationship, but it's essential to learn how to manage these feelings in a healthy way. This might mean taking a step back to cool off, engaging in a calming activity, or practicing effective communication with our partner.

Loving someone and still choosing ourselves is perhaps the most important boundary of all. It's easy to get caught up in the idea that we need to put our partner's needs above our own, but this can lead to burnout and resentment. By prioritizing our own needs and desires, we can actually become better partners and build more fulfilling relationships.

As I reflect on these boundaries, I'm reminded of the importance of self-love and self-care. By taking the time to nurture our own minds, bodies, and souls, we can become more confident, resilient, and compassionate partners.

So, what does it mean to love someone and still set boundaries? For me, it means recognizing that I deserve to be loved and respected, not just by others, but by myself. It means being willing to communicate my needs and desires clearly, even if it's uncomfortable or challenging. And it means prioritizing my own well-being, even if that means making difficult choices or setting boundaries with someone I love.

I hope this post has resonated with you, and that you'll join me in prioritizing self-love and self-care. Remember, loving someone and still setting boundaries is not selfish – it's essential. By taking care of ourselves and communicating our needs clearly, we can build more fulfilling relationships and become the best versions of ourselves.

[undouxbises]

I should go to work but I think a day at the beach is more needed. It’s been a rough week and my heart craves healing à la plage.

[1-800-roflmao]

Time for a Move ||

Summary: Even an extroverted brat can get overstimulated, plus I imagine being under the constant eye and scrutiny of others would wear him out eventually.

It's somber.

The demon had been locked in his designated room for almost two weeks now. He'd eaten through his food stache and visits to mortals in and out of dreams was no longer cutting it to satisfy his appetite, but he didn't want to see anyone. He just wanted to stay hidden away. For some reason, the mere thought of having to interact was draining.

It had taken some time to realize just what was wrong. Crook had been the one to mutter the answer: "You're suffocating." Was he? But he had a space to retreat to? A place he could breathe. "This place isn't healthy for you, Nini." Crook sounded tired, irritated. The use of his nickname driving home how serious he was.

"Not everything is-" Chaos couldn't deny the world eater's words, but he did know the house had a few positives. Holy was a good friend and KQ had become quite dear to him to as well. "Abbie..." He muttered the world eater's nickname in return. "Y'know, I really wish you had your own form again, " he sighed, flopping on his bed and dragging a pillow closer.

"I know, Amare," his bonded rumbled, chittering in his mind as Chaos clung to the oversized pillow. His fingers dug in the plush and he desperately tried to pretend it was Abbadon he was holding onto. "You know why you need to get out."

The incubus sighed, face buried in the pillow and biting at the fabric in frustration. He knew. He was tired and worn down. He was starting to feel that itch again. He'd miss KQ and Holy, but it was best he not only moved, but cut off interaction for a while as well. Maybe he'd give his "birth" place a visit. It has been a long time since he's went to see her, his little Lamb.

"You're right, Abbie. I'll say my goodbyes tomorrow."

[jasminesuntrell]

Should I Take the Hint? [NaPoWriMo 3/30]

Answer the phone, please.

I can't stand another night

wondering if you

care about me at all or

if I'm a phase you went through