#needledick

[kleawilson]

I think we all know what happened in that Honda Odyssey (⸝⸝⸝╺﹏╺⸝⸝⸝)

It’s ridiculous how many FOB lyrics give me Deadpool vibes, from Dance Dance alone, for example, this line above and “why don’t you show me a little bit of spine you’ve been saving for this mattress” and with Pool it could be taken literally.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Needledick

I’m a single malt snob and a longtime fan of Glenfiddich whisky.*  Normally the best I can afford is their 12 year old scotch but I have sampled their 14 year old scotch and you can tell the difference those two years make, a jump from excellent to Even BETTER!

So two Christmases ago when I saw a bottle on sale at our local Costco for just a wee bit above the price of the regular 12 year old scotch, I bought it.

Too fine to waste on casual drinking, I put it aside for a special occasion:  When one of three people I’ve had the misfortune to be associated with finally shuffled off this mortal coil, I would open the bottle in a victory toast.  

Since then the number had increased to four (though if we’re lucky the late addition will soon really be the late addition).

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me tell you about Needledick.

. . .

The last time I encountered Needledick was almost two decades ago; I was leaving a restaurant, he was entering, and only a split-second stayed my fist from intersecting his nose with as much force as I could muster.

I spared Needledick not from mercy but because I didn’t want to go to the expense of hiring a lawyer to deal with the aftermath.

Why this enmity?  Well, Needledick was a petty little rat bastard not above trying to screw people who worked on a project out of their fair share of the proceeds.  If he failed to abuse any females working at the studio it wasn’t for lack of trying.

And he deliberately / willingly / intentionally lied to me in a manner that indicated he thought me too stupid to realize I’d been lied to.

Mind you, the circumstances that led up to this lie were such that at any step of the proceedings had he simply said, “Buzz, this isn’t going to work out.  Sorry.” I would have shrugged and said, “That’s okay, these things happen.” and never held it against him.

But he lied far, far beyond that point; he lied long after the plug got pulled on the project and it circled the drain.

He lied because it was built into his DNA.

In any case, Needledick became one of my original three dog turds whose demise I intended to celebrate by finally cracking open my bottle of 14 year old Glenfiddich and enjoying the warm, smokey amber therein.

That was two Christmases ago.  Since then -- as mentioned -- a big orange turd has joined the short list, and Needledick…

Needledick himself died not too recently.

When I learned of Needledick’s death, I remembered the bottle of 14 year old Glenfiddich waiting for me.

I remember, and asked myself:  “Is it really worth opening this bottle for Needledick?”

The answer was no.

So wherever you are, Needledick, you larcenous, thieving, deceitful sac of human excrement, know this:  In the end when the balance sheet was drawn up, you weren’t worth wasting a drink of 12 year old Glenfiddich on.

Fuck you.

 © Buzz Dixon

 * No “e” if it’s distilled in Scotland, laddie.

[ihateslammetal]

#needledick

#needledick

[ihateslammetal]

#needledick

#needledick

[purple-peaches]

[genxvortex]

Man in the canoe having the painters in

[catmigliano7]

Reposted from @magicmindy102.7 - - #regrann Time and again pets get.blamed for reacting to kids inappropriatre, untrained behaviour. Then the pet suffers when the kid was being a shitty brat. Right @j_evans1219 & @easondavid88 ? I saw the video (still have it) of Ensley teasing #Nugget in what she thought was play. Maybe #Nugget was playing when she scratched Ensley, maybe she was tired if your spoiled brat's horse play. So how did you two piss poor excuses for parents handle it? The way a #needledick #bugfucker #sociopath does: Mr #StraightPride grabbed #Nugget & slammed her head against the kitchen table. Ear witness reports were that the big bully was beating Nugget so badly she could be heard crying & yelping. When he egress the house & headed towards the woods, both he & a limp Nugget were covered in blood. Of course now, amidst rumors of a publicity stunt, Jenelle claims Nugget ran into the.woods never to be seen again. Who the hell gave these two oxyen thieves more dogs & other animals? @peta @humanesociety (à Columbus County, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0CFXSGH2GE/?igshid=pxbou6e1o916

[pswift22-blog]

Standing up on the train and a sad little sack of shit man leaned back and leant against me for most the journey, despite me frequently moving, then he shoved a load of people out the way when a seat became available..... sad pathetic little man. Probably the first physical contact he's had with a woman in years.