bitches think i’m kidding about being an isolated, unsocialized dog. like no lol.
i was kept away from people forcefully. i’m not asocial by choice, and i’m sure as hell not just ‘a little shy.’ i was straight up never taught how to be a human being, nor was i taught how to interact with other human beings. i wasn’t taught how to take care of myself, n i wasn’t prepared for the cruelty of the world. she kept me away and shielded me from pain, so now i don’t understand it. even just a small amount makes me want to kill myself because my brain can’t process it properly. my body shuts down. i faint. i throw up. i suffer with phobias, because she didn’t expose me to normal things early on. i can’t stand blood, and i can’t stand medical procedures. can you tell this dog wasn’t taken to the vet?
the lack of physical contact i had to endure has created this snapping response. this bite that i use to defend myself when i feel most vulnerable. all i want is to be close to people, but i don’t trust humanity anymore due to what i went through. i’ve developed a hatred towards humanity . i don’t identify with it.
i don’t fit the description of a human being, and i’ve quite frankly, i’ve never even fucking lived the experience of one. my mother stripped me of that, so i reclaim an identity she forced me in.
i’m just learning how to mimic humans.