#neonwaste-vent

[theinsterminators]

how to keep headmate from going on her tumblr blog and doing and posting dangerous shit without seeming like an asshole no glue no borax (/srs)

[theinsterminators]

"surely this will remedy itself on its own," i say, ignoring a problem of my own doing

[theinsterminators]

i hate him for what he did iH ATE HIM FOR WHAT HE DID I FUCKING HATE HIM FOR WHAT HE DID GOD I NEED HIS HEAD ON A PLATTER

[theinsterminators]

i could say "hey im willing to compromise so can we please not mess with my keloid until the damage heals a little bit and then put a new rubber band on" and she would probably say smth like "who CARES if it heals it wasnt infected in the FIRST PLACE and if it heals itll probably just grow BIGGER so COME HERE and BRING ME YOUR UGLY ASS EAR"

[theinsterminators]

why do people look at me like im a beoken toy

[theinsterminators]

cw physical trama and ig abuse

ok so apparently me not telling my mom that i took an extremely painful rubber band off my keloid is "deceitful" and "basically the same as lying" (her exact words) and that she "doesnt care if it hurts, she needs that thing gone"

my brother in christ you literally saw me crying because of how it hurt and you dont care just because you want to satisfy YOUR ideal of what attractive is???? not only do i look cute as hell even with that thing on my ear, it is literally doing me zero harm by being there. its a blob of scar tissue. just because you find it ugly doesn't mean I do, and i feel like i should have the right to not want to be in fucking pain just because you dont like looking at a blob on my ear.

your outdated beauty standards and insecurity wth your OWN should not be projected onto MY body to such an extent where you feel like you "need" to do something about an otherwise harmless thing. your discomfort with MY body is not personal fucking harm or an attack to you or yours.

i hate how obsessed she is with my looks. i tell her while i'm shaving my under arms it doesn't have to be perfet" and she goes "yes it DOES, what kind of woman are you???" and she's said "what kind of woman are you" to me multiple times and im like. the kind that doesn't give into misogynistic beauty standards and is working on loving my appearance?? and when she tells me a lot of the things she tells me to do about my health its more because "if you dont do it youre gonne look ugly!!!!!" rather than "this is important to keep your skin and body healthy." i still rarely do said things, btw. and i'm still hot as hell. oh and while she was measuring me so she could make an outfit for me she commented on my body and weight which. drove me down a path where i half ass had disordered eating around the end of 2023. and i keep hearing her making comments about her own weight and whenever she tells me her history with weight i'm just like.... ok so you were suffering with eating disorders. ok. ofc i never tell her that but i know thats what it was. i know that type of shit (ideals of appearance) are ingrained into her and are practically near unlearneablw arp. but eh

[theinsterminators]

i am SICK of what my mom does regarding candy.

i will literally make the mistake of leaving literaly any candy in her line of sight and this bitch will sweep in and go "OOOH CANDY LEMME GET SOME" like a pirate stumbling across booty and she takes some (if im lucky) or all of it and she wont even ask if she can have it and she rarely says thank you. like bitch you cant just come in here and take shit from MY treasure chest. like she literally did that with a box of mike and ikes I GOT FOR MYSELF!! its not even like "hey this is our candy we can share this" BITCH I GOT THAT FOR ME AND ME ALONE. but i do it to her once and she falls into a rage. like come the fuck on.

[theinsterminators]

hi more venting sorry for crashing out so much today

cw/tw possible. csa. i think. idk. and atp im not sure if i wanna unpack that further than i already have in the past 12 hours.

hey chat haha is it normal for your mom to insist you stop using a vibrator and use your hands instead bc she thinks itll desensitize you haha

or is it normal for your mom when seeing your train wreck of a bed to immediately assume its because youve been jerking off haha

or is it normal for her to suggest you start taking nsfw commissions as a minor to make money haha

or for her to automatically assume youre looking at porn on the internet with literally no good basis on said assumption other than the fact youve gotten caught looking at porn literally 2-3 times in your life haha

or for her to make vaguely sexual comments about you that make you incredibly uncomfortable and when you bring it up to her she apologizes but doesnt change her behavior at all haha

or when you tell her it feels like she cares about your future sex life a little more than she should she says she cares about the future sex life of all young people and then goes on a tangent and somehow says that she thinks you think you know everything haha

or to feel deeply uncomfortable to see her walking around naked and for her to see you naked despite the fact she insists its ok bc youre family and both "girls" haha cus like idk man haha