PROMPT. MANA / @giriure:
❝ i kept telling myself it was just tension. just adrenaline. but it’s not, is it? ❞
NIGHTWING:
―――― SOMETHING ABOUT THE night sky always brought him comfort. perhaps a strange thing, considering the horizon is always alight with factory fires, if not actual explosions. gotham shines red even after sunset, bathed in hues of passion, violent or otherwise. it was familiar, the way the street lights flickered & the rage in the alleys always sung the same choirs. these days, the orange flares against the starry sky bring something else to mind: mana. who sits beside him, barely a foot away, staring into the same chaos he does. they look like they’re part of the skyline, sharp silhouette perfectly blending into the warm, dark palette behind them.
― a quick respite, a moment to silence their comms & breathe in acrid air. to end their melee brawl that was never really a brawl. its as quiet as it gets, dulled by distance above the streets. dick doesn’t know when he started getting so comfortable in their company―at some point his fake ease stopped being fake. he was never at keeping a mask just a mask.
― she breaks the silence, & he almost startles. even if its almost, he knows she’s noticed, & all he offers at first is a sigh.
― some things really never do change, do they ? he thinks he’s been here before. caught in the throes of someone’s fists, met with challenge & undeserved confidence that he would stand up to it. dick has always been weak in the heart: good at loving & a terrible lover. something he got from his father, he thinks, blood or not. the difference is when dick falls in head first, he thinks he can land the dive. bruce doesn’t even look over the edge to ponder.
― “ it was, “ he says. he can’t deny it. it always starts that way. something the high of vigilance couldn’t give him; being wanted. needed. call it his daddy issues, but he knew his weaknesses. it mana happens to cross out quite a few of them. but fear has him gripping the tightrope & refusing to let go.
― “ it is, “ he tries to say. chokes on it.
― but saying it isn’t is too big a risk. saying it isn’t means admitting to something he isn’t sure he deserves to inflict on others anymore. but, god, the thought of mana knowing his name, meeting his friends, their banter bleeding into daylight, the thought of―the thought of barbara begging him, for the love of god, open up to someone that isn’t her & wally before the two of them lose it.
― “ ... it's complicated. “