life of a showgirl track by track
1. the fate of ophelia - this song is catchy and i almost don't hate it EXCEPT. well. the lyrics. you cannot reference ophelia and say "keep it 100" and "pledge allegiance to your team" on the same song. i think it's funny that she has a digression (badly) explaining the story of ophelia bc yeah. i do think football boy will need that explained to him. remember to use small words taylor. in summary:
2. elizabeth taylor - that chorus kicks in with such a clunk. the title is basically hashtag rap (i'd cry my eyes violet #elizabethtaylor). "i would trade the cartier for someone to trust...just kidding" is kinda crazy actually like she's fully admitting to being a ruthless capitalist unlike when she tried to be like "change the prophecy i don't want money" on ttpd. maybe it's meant to be sarcastic but it does Not read that way
3. opalite - shockingly, it is...fine. i think that's because it's more generic, except for the odd gemstone imagery. my mama told me it's gonna be okay and now life is sunny! no sports references or "boohoo i'm famous". nothing particularly interesting either but "solidly mid" is kind of a win for taylor at this point. oh how far we've fallen
4. father figure - is this about the guy who sold her masters? like a song from his pov? but then why is she like 'well this empire belongs to me how dare you think you could do it without me'. is this about like. the music industry? and she's saying she's the biggest pop star around don't piss her off? if so ewwwwwwwwwwww
5. eldest daughter - the first lines are like you need to calm down acoustic version. those haters on the internet! that said i kinda feel like she has a point about everyone trying to be cool and apathetic and that she isn't a bad bitch and she can't do that kind of thing. i've been saying since rep that being edgy is a bad look on her! not sure what any of this has to do with being an eldest daughter though. and "i'm not a bad bitch, this isn't savage" being in the chorus is a bad decision. remember when taylor swift's track 5s were good. remember all too well
6. ruin the friendship - you know what i kinda like this. the idea of never making a move with someone and then they die and you regret what you didn't do. and that this is about a high school relationship that obviously wouldn't have been a long term amazing relationship but you still feel like it would've been worth it anyway is kinda sweet. it's not like oh my life would've gone totally differently it's just. i liked him and i never made a move. if you like someone you should make a move.
possibly a beneficiary of lowered expectations
7. actually romantic - i got spoiled for this one and ohhh it's even worse than i expected. like sympathy is a knife is not about hating taylor it's about being jealous and therefore hating to be around someone who makes you feel that insecure. it's pretty clearly not that taylor is doing anything terrible it's about charli's own issues. also something about calling charli a yappy little dog really rankles me. like the whole thing was "i'm not as famous and mainstream therefore being around someone famous and mainstream makes me feel insecure" so for taylor to be like yes you ARE small and puny and i can ignore all your stupid feelings is just. punching down
also really funny that taylor's intention with this album was to make catchy pop music without losing lyrical depth meanwhile that's exactly what brat was, particularly on songs like sympathy is a knife. but no charli is just that weird crazy coked out bitch
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TOUCHING THE HOMOPHOBIA. YES I SAID HOMOPHOBIA. NOT QUEERBAITING NOT GAYLOR JUST HOMOPHOBIA.
like the song is "OH WOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH A GIRL? GAYYYYYY" which is literally just a homophobic joke. and it really leaves a bad taste given charli's huge gay fanbase and collabs with queer artists
8. wi$h li$t - so there was this post once that had a poll with a bunch of different cursed things to happen to you and you had to pick which curse you'd choose and one of them was "you have to recreate the plot of the movie yesterday but with taylor swift's discography", and that was my choice bc "taylor swift's music gets erased from the world except for the songs i like" is the fucking dream. i looked up the plot of the movie and discovered that the protagonist ends up meeting john lennon, who never became a musician in this timeline and lived a long happy life out of the spotlight. and when i imagined meeting a taylor swift who never became a famous musician i imagined her living the exact life she says she wants on this song. popstar!me driving out to suburban pennsylvania and turning into a driveway with a basketball hoop and when she answers the door she has two little blonde children underfoot and i can see a husband sitting on the couch watching football. and in many ways she's happier that she would be in the spotlight but she has that '50s housewife sadness in her eyes and i get the distinct impression that she is a catty scheming pta mom because she has no other outlet for her ruthless ambition
9. wood - i can't believe this is what people thought it would be. this would be so fun as a sabrina song but i just can't. i hope jakey dies
anyways. gross song in this political climate
10. cancelled! - hey weren't you saying a few songs ago that you're not a bad bitch and it's stupid how everyone wants to be so cool and edgy? also you're not "in the underworld" anymore you're the most famous person in the world. you do not lead a band of outcast women be for fucking real
11. honey - "you can be my forever night stand" just makes me think you're gonna put a lamp and your glasses case on it. also "who's the baddest in the land?" I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T A BAD BITCH
12. the life of a showgirl - sabrina <3
