#nlogs

[hollycantkeeptrackofthedaze]

just a saw a post about nlogs and the op has deactivated reblogs (so fucking fair) but i think it made a good point which is: while nlog originally was coined to talk about women who devalue other women for male attention, it's now mostly used as a term to devalue women and anyone that can be condescendingly boxed in as a women (often afab nonbinary folks) who aren't traditionally feminine. (and that original pick-mes in the discussion were still feminine, because... being really masculine doesn't actually make a lot of cishet men like or respect you.)

[mindnumbing-brain-candy]

[becomingpart2]

i watched the Sarah z video and I thought it was really good! i think unfortunately a lot of the discourse about “not like other girls” has essentially devolved into shaming girls and women who are not traditionally feminine. like I think that the “nlog” conversation started out with good intentions, and obviously I don’t think feminine/girly women should be shamed for being that way, but the current discourse has essentially become “feminine/girly women are oppressed by nlogs” and frankly I think that narrative is ridiculous. there’s also an implication that any woman who isn’t traditionally feminine is that way because of internalized misogyny, and that no one can have that as their authentic personality. i also find that anti nlog conversations tend to ignore the fact that it way more often traditionally feminine women bullying gender nonconforming women than the other way around. like in the real world femininity is imposed on women and girls from a young age, and young women are frequently bullied for not being traditionally feminine. like society in general expects women to be feminine, and women who don’t or can’t conform to that are treated like shit. i also think the narrative that “nlog’s” are all just looking for attention from men is ridiculous, yes patriarchy encourages us to seek male approval, but the idea that most women who aren’t gender conforming are looking for attention is ridiculous. i think candy saw elena as the nlog protagonist of a teen movie and Caroline as the mean girl villain and decided that Caroline was oppressed by elena because Elena was not like other girls and Caroline was girly.

Totally! I've been on Tumblr for more than 10 years and I've seen the rise of the conversation about the "nlogs" and how it very quickly became about making fun of those types of girls. I remember the argument that the villain in a teen movie should be a nlog against the "girly girl" protagonist. Because as we all know nlogs are the true perpetrators of misogyny lol. Because they perpetuate "girl hate" (god I hate that phrase so much lol). I

It just takes the argument of "women hating on other women is bad" and it does exactly that lol. Congrats, you accomplished nothing and the systems of oppression are still intact lol.

I mean I think it'd be disingenuous to act like male approval even when subconscious isn't a part of that because that is inherent to misogyny and misogyny is behind this discussion but there are other social variables. I like that Sarah z points out that even though hating feminine things is often due to our learned misogyny, it's dangerous to only equate feminine things to womanhood. You're not more or less of a woman for being feminine or not. Hating women for not being feminine is just as misogynistic. Being feminine is what society demands from women and hating the ones that don't fit into it is just reinforcing misogyny instead of combating it.

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

NLOG Pride Flag

NLOGs: not like the other girls (or guys, depending the situation).

Often used derogatorily, but can also be reclaimed.

[lacontessemadi]

Me at 32 year old going back and correcting 16 year old me's notes:

usually a

I'm not like other ^ girls, and that's okay. Girl's are amazing though.

[becomingpart2]

Okay so I watched the gilmore girls pick-me video and alright she made some points lol

I agree that the message the show probably wants us to take from it is that being "different" from other women makes you "special" and superior, I think that's a fair interpretation and a good point to make when looking at the show through critical analysis lenses.

But yeah I don't think that's the case for the characters based on what I saw from them and even if it were, I think it's stupid to harp on that because:

1) being a "pick-me" is a perfectly normal and understandable result of living in a misogynistic society;

2) everyone judges other people and likes to be seen as different and special in varying degrees;

3) when it comes to finding a romantic partner, we actually are competing against other people that share the same gender attraction as us and I wish people would stop pretending we aren't and acknowledge that, that too, is part of the human experience and the result of living in society since day 1, so yeah trying to make yourself seen amongst the crowd is part of the game;

4) it's such a silly thing to be mad about and honestly such a dumb excuse to hate on other women in the name of "feminism" when what you're doing is actually anything but. It's also so counter-productive and innocuous to the actual agents that keep women oppressed, you're not doing anything to actually challenge that, just adding on to it by finding other people to blame rather than addressing the real root of the problem.

Anyway, I got carried away lmao. If you wanna watch the 10 min video that inspired this, it's here.

[bunshr00m]

my mum made this mock "not like other girls" picture and the bottom half is sending me omg i love her

[torchwood-99]

The only way I could love Gwen Cooper now is it the fandom accused her of being a NLOG. Characters accused of being NLOGs are the greatest. That's my character green light.