* 🙴 @noblessing ; ❝ i wish i could change that, but i can’t. ❞
patch is as idyllic as she remembers, peaceful—— the sun continues to shine, the birds sing in the morning, the leaves fall one after the other. and yang ... watches. she watches from her bed, staring out that small window, at the world outside. idyllic, peaceful—— what a joke.
there's ruined lives outside of patch, outside of yang's view. what feels like forever ago—— what feels like a nightmare—— but one glance down at her arm is enough to remind her. everything is too, real. unchangeable. irreversible.
( in her sleep—— she remembers. mercury's crazed shouting-- penny, penny—— the grimm, tearing through innocent people—— blake's gasp, the way she'd outstretched her hand—— waking up, alone, a warmth in her hand quickly fading. but sometimes, it's not her sleep that disturbs her. memories plague her waking moments, too, even if they lack the cruel twists of a dreaming mind. )
she sits in silence, most of the time. her father tried to talk to her in the beginning, but—— he'd given up soon enough. he changes her bandages with a gentle hand, and only speaks as he leaves to say ‘ i love you ’ —— yang wonders if she's being ungrateful. she lived, didn't she? unlike some of their friends, unlike countless civilians in vale—— yang is alive, isn't she?
shouldn't that be enough?
❝ it'll probably stick with you for years, ❞ is what her uncle says one day as he leans on the door frame. she barely turns her head to look at him, gaze still on the falling autumn leaves. ❝ the guilt of it. it's something that can't be helped in the business—— you can't help everyone, especially those that don't want to be helped. ❞
( a warmth in her hand quickly fading—— sun, who looked at her with something like pity as he said that blake had ran—— )
❝ i wish i could change that, but i can't. ❞
the floorboards creak, and her hand twitches—— which one? which one?—— but her uncle doesn't move any closer. he pauses by the bedside table, and waits long enough that yang turns her head to look at him. his face is grim, lacking the usual crooked smile he wears when he looks at ruby, but ... it's soft. yang looks up at him and feels like a little girl again, lost in the woods, a rickety wagon behind her; a little girl again, with her uncle there to protect her.
❝ ... is it always this hard? ❞ yang asks quietly, her voice barely above a rasp. is this how dad felt when mom left? lies on her tongue, but she swallows that. with the way her uncle looks at her, she might as well have said it.
❝ depends on the person, ❞ he says, and she resists the urge to scoff at his response. he chuckles a little at that, a small rumble. she hates that it makes her feel better. ❝ just ... try not to let it break you, firecracker. ❞
he reaches over to squeeze her shoulder before turning on his heel, and she watches his cape swish with the moment, watches him take a turn down to ruby's room. she stares at the empty space of the hallway for a moment, another, before turning her gaze back to the window beside her.
she keeps watching. it's all she has left to do.
