slamming down my girlfriend nolpats for first kiss thank YOU (congratulations btw i love u sm)
First Kiss – Nolan Patrick
Words: 1.5k
Thank you for kicking us off with nolpats, Cam! (ily too!) – I really hope you like this one!
~
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”
You looked up from your book to see a very welcome body filling the doorway to your backyard.
“Nolan!” you squealed happily.
You quickly shoved a bookmark in to make your page before leaping to your feet, throwing your arms around your friend. Your two families had always lived on the same street, and while you were a year younger than Nolan, the two of you had grown up together as close as any of your other friends. Sure, his hockey had taken him away from the familiar neighbourhood, as had your college years, but the two of you always made time for each other in the summers.
“Nice to see you too,” Nolan mused, kissing the top of your head as you finally dropped your arms.
You just grinned, sitting back down on the bench your father had built for the back porch, inviting Nolan to join you with a sweep of your hand, which he happily did.
“When did you get home?”
“Yesterday afternoon, actually,” he admitted.
“Oh?” you said, surprised.
He huffed out a laugh. “I was going to text you straight away, but I ran into Josh and he invited me to his party last night, and I kinda thought you’d be there?”
“Since when have I ever gone to hang out with Josh or any of your friends without you?”
He tilted his head in acceptance, before he seemed to hesitate.
“Actually, about last night…”
He trailed off, looking a little awkward, making you frown.
“What? What happened?” you asked.
He winced a little before smiling, although it was more like a grimace, only confusing you more.
“It was just something that the guys said. They were chatting shit, you know what they’re like, most of them bragging about girls and stuff. And then they mentioned you.”
What?
You sure as hell had never fooled around with any of them. You hadn’t even…
“Have you really never been kissed?”
Oh those assholes. Really? That was one of the things discussed at the party last night? Brilliant. It was only the fact that his voice was full of concern, rather than taunting, that you steeled yourself to reply.
“Have you seen the greaseballs that live around here?” you said dryly.
“Hey, I’m a greaseball that lives around here,” he shot back, although the grin on his face let you know he wasn’t mad.
“True, true, but you’re a greaseball that only lives here in the summer – totally different,” you teased.
Nolan shrugged as if to say ‘fair enough’, making you laugh and nudge him with your shoulder. Nolan nudged you back, before turning to face you properly, bending his knee up between the two of you as he shifted. You waited patiently as you saw him visibly think over his words, knowing him well enough that he wouldn’t speak until he was ready.
“Does it bother you?” he finally asked.
Okay, not what you were expecting.
“Bother me?”
“That you haven’t kissed anyone,” he added, his cheeks flushing a little with his words, “That people know you haven’t.”
You huffed out a laugh, shifting to face him properly too.
“It used to? When I was at college it did for sure – on the rare occasion that I would go to a party, and I saw all these beautiful girls making out with guys at the end of the night, I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I just wasn’t pretty enough to be wanted.”
“That’s bullshit,” Nolan said sharply.
An ugly knot squeezed in your chest. “What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re beautiful, and if those stupid college boys couldn’t see that, then that’s their loss.”
Oh.
Oh.
Your lips parted in shock, cheeks heating softly while Nolan blushed fiercely, but he didn’t take back his words. He really was that sweet, sweet boy still, wasn’t he?
“That’s sweet of you to say, Nolan. I got over it eventually? Only a handful of friends there knew and they never brought it up, so no-one ever made a big deal of it? By the time senior year came around I was too busy with classes and assignments anyway, and the novelty of it all wore off. When I graduated two years ago, I came straight back home for work and you already know my opinion of the boys round here.”
You rolled your eyes with your last words, making Nolan laugh, which only settled you even further.
“I guess…I guess I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t know what I’m missing out on, so it’s not really something I think about?” you shrugged.
“I still can’t believe that no guy has swept you off your feet,” Nolan said, frowning, “beauty, brains, and you’re actually a nice person? I don’t get it.”
“Believe it,” you mused, “But I accept your compliments all the same.”
Nolan chewed his bottom lip for a moment, seeming to think heavily again, before he caught your eyes with an expression you couldn’t read.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your breath hitched in your throat, your heartbeat racing. What?
“I don’t want a pity kiss,” you managed to choke out.
He’d never been cruel before, not like this.
Nolan’s face froze for a moment, before he rapidly shook his head.
“Holy shit, no, that’s not why…you really think I’d kiss you out of pity?” he spluttered.
“What other conclusion was I meant to reach after this ridiculous conversation?” you shot back, heart still racing.
But his frown persisted, even as he reached forward to take one of your hands.
“I think you’re beautiful, I’ve already told you that. I think every guy who hasn’t kissed you is a fucking idiot. Obviously if you don’t want to kiss me then I won’t push it because I’m not that kind of asshole. But the offer is open if you want to,” Nolan explained, “You’re my friend, and there are literally no stakes here, no pressure, and you deserve to have a first kiss with someone that isn’t going to be a dick about it.”
That was quite possibly the most you’d ever heard him speak in one go, and every single one of his words sent your head swirling. Could it really be that easy? Kissing Nolan just to say you’d kissed someone?
“I do mean it, no pressure. If you want me to leave, I will. If you don’t want to kiss me, then just let me know and it changes nothing about our friendship. If you…”
“You can kiss me,” you said suddenly, interrupting him before you could even process the words leaving your mouth, “I trust you. I know you won’t make fun of me for not knowing what I’m doing.”
“I would never,” he said seriously.
He cheeks were a little pink again though. That was a good thing, right?
“Do you want to, um, how should we…?”
You trailed off, your own cheeks flooding with heat as Nolan huffed out a laugh.
“Just like this,” he said softly.
You caught a flash of his rare soft smile as he cupped your face with his hand, barely remembering to take a breath before his lips were pressed to yours. You knew enough to close your eyes, leaning forward enough to rest your hand on his thigh for balance, but every other thought was consumed with the feeling of Nolan’s lips on yours. You’d expected him to pull away immediately, but Nolan didn’t – instead, he moved his lips slowly against your own and it was all you could do to mimic his motions, your blood surging through your veins like liquid fire as your heart raced.
You really had been missing out all these years.
Or maybe it was just Nolan.
At that thought, you broke the kiss, closing your eyes as you rested your forehead against his, not having the functioning thought processes to move any further.
“Wow.”
Nolan’s murmur cut through the cloud in your mind, and it was all you could do to laugh as you finally sat upright, opening your eyes to look at his flushed face.
“Was that okay?” you found yourself asking, wincing as the words left your mouth.
“Okay? Babe you’re a fucking natural,” Nolan laughed.
Really?
You didn’t know what your face looked like – you could only hope it wasn’t ridiculous – but Nolan’s face softened, and he took your hand in his again. “I mean it, okay? You’re an amazing kisser.”
You let out a shaky breath, nodding even as you felt stupid for needing that reassurance. At least you knew Nolan wouldn’t lie to you.
“We can always practice some more if you want to be sure yourself though.”
His smooth offer was almost successful, if it wasn’t for the red on his cheeks giving him away. He…liked kissing you?
“I’m sure more practice couldn’t hurt. Only if it’s not going to be a burden on your time, of course,” you said, smiling innocently.
Nolan just grinned. “Oh I think we can work something out.”
genres: strangers to lovers to ex’s, a bit sad, somewhat happy ending
A/N: To start, I know that Nolan’s not as popular anymore and his future in the NHL is looking a bit bleak but despite that, this story exists. This story is based off of the songs, the Hayley Williams cover of Nineteen by Tegan and Sara, (which is where the title comes from), You All Over Me by Taylor Swift feat Maren Morris and Last Kiss by Taylor Swift (I highly recommend listening to those songs before reading. I’m taking vibes, elements and references from them and putting them in the story and listening will also help with understanding the plot). I’ve wanted to write a fic based off of those songs for a while and my vision for the story works best with Nolan. It’s set in a timeline format by the hockey season. It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s no dialogue. As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌
(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)
“You were mine, always but now you’re gone. Look what we’ve become, just another sad song of a love gone wrong.” -Pictures by Judah and the Lion feat. Kacey Musgraves
2017-18
Nolan could feel you in his limbs before he ever met you and he could feel you in his life before he ever thought to. How can you feel someone that you don’t even know yet? On the day you met, Nolan felt an unexplained tingle in his body. He was dreading having to go to the DMV but he misplaced his license so on a rare weekday off, he went to get a replacement license. Nolan really needed his license; he legally couldn’t drive without it. He could only imagine the chaos that would ensue if the recently 2nd overall NHL draft pick was pulled over and caught driving without his license so he couldn’t put off getting it done. To top it off, Nolan felt this weird tingling sensation in his body so he mentally made a note to talk about it with the team doctor. Travis (TK) kindly dropped Nolan off at the DMV and continued with his other plans for the off day. For you, you had some time after your classes to pop into the DMV to renew your license, which was going to expire soon because your birthday was coming up.
That tingling feeling that Nolan was experiencing went away when you first interacted with each other in that crowded waiting room back in 2018, in the middle of his first season with the Flyers. The softness in your voice asking if the seat next to him was taken directly contrasted with the deepness of Nolan’s voice. It was going to be a long wait so to pass the time, you and Nolan started talking to each other. Nolan usually was against unnecessary small talk and preferred to keep to himself but chatting with you felt different. Throughout these conversations, you learned little details about each other; details that would be held onto throughout the course of your relationship. You learned that Nolan was actually a funny guy behind his intimidating demeanor and he learned that you deeply valued family. The connection that you had made in the hours of waiting felt special to Nolan. You didn’t even know each other for that long and that well but it was almost like you could feel each other in your hearts as you talked. Since Nolan had arrived before you did, his number was called sooner so he left first. Before leaving, he quickly wrote his number down on the back of the waiting room ticket.
Later that same day, you sent Nolan a text to check in on him and that started a long text chain between the two of you. In the beginning of your friendship, Nolan definitely had his walls up but as you got to know more about each other, the walls came down. Nolan enjoyed talking to you because you made him feel like a regular person, not some superstar; the pressure of being a high NHL draft pick disappeared in the chats that you shared. Over time, he became more comfortable and trusting with you, even inviting you to his games and team events and telling his teammates about you. You began falling for each other and your relationship grew from texting buddies to friends to lovers. Your relationship with Nolan was quiet but it worked well that way. There was a slow introduction to the most important people in your lives; you’ll never forget how your father complimented Nolan’s handshake and how that handshake indicated to him that Nolan was a strong man and your mother admired how Nolan treated you so well. Nolan didn’t want outsiders to judge and ridicule his relationship with you so there were no direct social media posts of your presence in each other’s lives –only small snippets of his face or hands in your Instagram story posts, listening to songs that you liked or that reminded him of you on his story posts and location tags of being at the same place– but the right people knew you were together. There were also fun things, like surprise flowers and other gifts at your door, inside jokes, and secret road trips down to the beaches on the Jersey Shore. You were down so bad for Nolan and he could make you melt like ice cream on a hot June day with just one look. Nolan was down badly too; he tried to be all cool and push it aside but as soon as you walked into the room or opened his car door, the heat in his cheeks would rise and it was game over. The first year of your relationship together was so amazing until things changed.
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2018-19
Due to your summer internship commitments, you only got to spend 2 weeks in Winnipeg with Nolan before school started back up at the end of August. Nolan was anxious about you coming to his safe space of his hometown; it rained the day you arrived and the smell of rain brought comfort to him. As both a test and a joke, you ran towards your boyfriend in the airport to see how he would respond. Nolan saw you running at him and his first reaction was to open his arms to catch you; having you in his arms meant everything to him.
Nolan isn’t a man of many words but being with you made him want to sing. On your first night in Winnipeg, Nolan took you to a bonfire party to meet some of his friends. At the party, you mixed and mingled with the people who Nolan trusted the most. Nolan even pulled you in for a dance, which surprised you because he knew that you weren’t much of a dancer and also that he would bust out a move in front of so many people. After the party flamed out, you and Nolan drove back to his house and by the time you arrived, it was almost 2 am. Before going inside, Nolan had looked at you with those blue eyes of his that you adored and you could sense that he was nervous; something was up. Nolan took a deep breath and told you that he loved you for the first time in that same deep voice that captivated you when you first met and you repeated it back to him. You always knew in your heart that you loved Nolan but hearing him say it meant so much more.
Summer Nolan was much more laid back and chill than Hockey Season Nolan. During your time in his hometown, Nolan showed you around the place that shaped him into who he was and let you meet the people who impacted him along the way; he even drove you all the way out to Brandon to see his old stomping grounds before he was drafted. It wouldn’t be summer unless he also took you fishing, hunting, and out for a day on the golf course as well. You got along well with Nolan’s family and meshed great with them. By the time you left to return to Philly, Nolan was already looking forward to bringing you back home to Winnipeg for many summers to come.
After you had left, Nolan was doing some summer training and unexpectedly started experiencing some migraines; he had experienced injuries and concussions before but this wasn’t like that. Due to Nolan’s career choice as a hockey player, he had access to the best doctors and specialists in the country so that helped relieve some of the stress that came with having a chronic illness. His migraines came with good and bad days and one of those bad days came as a test when you were together.
The first time you had ever spent the night at Nolan’s place in Philadelphia, he had a random migraine. Thankfully, it wasn’t so bad that he would miss time from playing; Nolan was still trying to navigate his newfound diagnosis but he handled it the best way that he could. At the time, he was living with Kevin (you were taking things slow and hadn’t talked about moving in together yet) so you weren’t originally planning on staying overnight but Nolan really needed you there. You weren’t trained like a doctor or nurse to take care of him but you did everything in your power to make him feel as comfortable as possible and to help to alleviate his pain. The only thing that helped Nolan was laying down in the dark with no light and you cautiously lay beside him in the darkness of his bedroom. Whenever you were sick as a child, one of your parents would come into your room to make sure you were breathing okay on your own and you did the same for Nolan. You watched him as he slept and could feel him breathe. That evening was a bit rough but Nolan was so grateful that you sacrificed your time to be with him during an unexpected, difficult situation. Like anything else in life, there would always be ups and downs but you would always be there to take care of him, no matter what.
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2019-20 and 2020-21
Nolan continued to miss time away from the team and he did his best to try to get healthy enough to return to play but it took more time than expected. Patience would end up becoming an important, key virtue throughout your relationship. During this time, you graduated early from the University of Pennsylvania with a Bachelor’s in Public Health and Nolan was super proud of you, beaming with joy from watching his lover achieve such a great accomplishment. You decided to take a year off from school before going back to get your Master’s degree in Epidemiology but then in early 2020, a pandemic hit; suddenly, you were hunkering down in Canada with Nolan and his family, your hope-to-someday-be in-laws. The world that you all knew was changing dramatically. The NHL season paused for a bit and started back up in a bubble-style tournament but due to his extended absence and health concerns, the Flyers and Nolan’s doctors felt like it was best for him to continue his recovery instead of having him come down to play in Toronto and Edmonton. You could sense the hurt from Nolan having to watch his team play in the playoffs without him and you felt that same pain, both sharing the hope for things to get better.
After the Flyers season concluded in late 2020, Nolan’s health had stabilized by then and he felt confident about returning to play so the Flyers gave him a contract for the shortened 2020-21 season. That condensed season was a bit brutal on Nolan since he hadn’t played professionally in over a year and the team wasn’t in the best condition at the time but he tried his best to persevere through it. He had a minor setback when Phillippe Myers accidentally hit him with a puck mid-game but thankfully, Nolan only missed 2 games and finished out the season without another injury. You saw a light in Nolan’s eyes when he played; a light that both shined and dimmed as time would go on.
The Flyers missed the 2021 playoffs and Nolan was so appreciative for the time off to recover but he also felt fearful for what was to come for the future. Nolan wanted to escape the criticism and pressure from being in Philly so during the 2021 off-season, he talked to you about his plans for leaving. He thought your input was super important and you were supportive of whatever he chose to do and were open to moving wherever he ended up.
The trade to Vegas was a bit surprising because there was no solid guarantee of where he was going to play but you were both grateful for the chance that the team took on Nolan and to open to this new chapter. It wasn’t easy leaving everything you knew behind in Philly but there was something exciting waiting for the both of you in the desert. You originally wanted to finish grad school in Philly but took a pause on your studies to move with Nolan to Vegas; this was also going to be the first time you had lived together. Living in Vegas had its expected highs and lows but you both made the best of the new city. You still kept in contact with some of the Flyers WAGs and made new friends with Golden Knights ladies, discovered new things to love about each other and the new place you lived. Yes, there still were some setbacks with Nolan’s health and his play needed some adjusting but it was okay because he was glad to be back on the ice and starting over somewhere new. Things were looking fine for both of you until February 16, 2022.
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2021-22
You had a rare weekday off so you trekked down to T-Mobile Arena to go watch Nolan play. That game happened to be against the Colorado Avalanche; conference rivalry games always had some sort of chaos and drama but this time, that drama and chaos hit too close to home. As you sat in the stands, chatting away with the other WAGs, something devastating happened. Early in the first period, Nolan got hit. The hit was brutal to watch and you angrily cursed Nathan MacKinnon’s name for what he did to your man. You had always known that hockey was aggressive and physical but this hit ignited both a rage and sadness within you. During the game, you left to meet with the team doctor to discuss Nolan’s prognosis; it was a head injury so you knew what was coming ahead and you had to drive him home. You always liked when Nolan let you drive his car but this time it was different. The car ride back home was very quiet, the only noise was the sound of the other cars around you and the clicks of the turn signal. Every time you saw Nolan hurting, it made your heart break a little. You loved him so much that seeing him in pain made you feel pain and you wished that you could just erase the pain that Nolan dealt with and make him 100% better.
Nolan eventually did return to play before getting hurt again and playing his last game on March 24. After his final game, there was a shift in Nolan and the light in his eyes disappeared. His migraines continued to be on and off but the time away allowed them to stabilize for a bit. During his hiatus from hockey, Nolan became more distant and less affectionate with you. You tried to let his actions not bother you but it silently hurt you. You knew Nolan was upset with the way how his hockey season ended and you tried to comfort him and distract him from his pain but it wasn’t enough for him; it was terrifying to watch him fade away like that. Nolan was hurting a lot, not only physically but emotionally. He couldn’t quite fully escape the injuries and the lingering pressure of returning to hockey was always there. Everything in his life was centered around hockey; his identity, his goals, and the conversations people had about and with him. It was almost like he resented the sport that he was the most grateful for; hockey was the only thing people seemed to know him for and that was gone. The loss of Nolan’s hockey career would be a very challenging loss that he would grieve over but you were right there by his side to support him during this difficult time.
Throughout his recovery time, Nolan began to get rid of anything and everything that reminded him of the life that he once had but didn’t have anymore. First, it was removing the social media posts. Then, it was unfollowing his old teammates and so-called friends who never checked in on him. Finally, it was hurting you. At the end of the 2022 season, Nolan requested that you have a deep serious talk together. In the back of your mind, you knew that something big was coming; Nolan was already distant with you so maybe he needed some more time and space from you. He dropped the already expected and painful news but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Nolan expressed that you deserved better than him and being around you, unfortunately, reminded him both of his past and of a future life that he couldn’t give to you. You didn’t care about those things and it didn’t matter what he could or couldn’t do because all you wanted was him but Nolan already made up his mind to end the relationship.
You couldn’t believe that he would just give up on what you had but he did. Nolan told you he loved you so frequently but now, the feelings of love were going away. You already knew Nolan was devastated with the way his hockey career and life derailed but you never would have imagined him hurting you because of that. You were already there with him through some of the toughest moments for him and were willing to continue to stay through them; if you didn’t love Nolan as much as you did, you would have left sooner. Naturally, you tried to reason with him but everything was pointing towards the end of your relationship. It frustrated you that Nolan wanted to break up for good instead of just taking time apart from each other; you were willing to give him the time and space he desired and the hope of you possibly come back together lingered around throughout the air. You had Nolan but he ended up burning you; you thought your relationship was so solid and strong, that these setbacks and other things wouldn’t break it down but it shattered everything you built together.
Nolan blamed being young in love and wanting to meet new people as a reason for wanting to separate. Deep down, he wanted to be with someone who didn’t know or had any connection to his hockey days so that he could leave that part of himself behind; Nolan just wanted a blank slate to start over from it all but that came at the expense of the beautiful relationship you spent years in. Breaking up with you was like watching a part of himself die; you and Nolan were always separate individuals but your relationship interconnected you together in such a profound way. Nolan’s honest confession to end the relationship hurt so deeply; you could feel the pain in your chest and Nolan could feel the pain of what he did rattling in his bones. It was almost like that tingling feeling Nolan felt the day when you first met returned back.
This breakup was 100% one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” moments. Nolan felt bad about breaking your heart but he felt like the only way for him to get peace from his past wasn’t to carry things from it into his future. He wanted out because of himself, not because you were a bad person or something you did; Nolan truly did have a catch on his hands being with you but he couldn’t hold on much longer so he let you go. You held out and held on to your relationship with Nolan for so long; you sacrificed so much to be and stay with him but Nolan just didn’t want to continue. At the time, it was hard to understand why he didn’t fight for your relationship harder but maybe it was a sign that Nolan wasn’t the one for you and you were never really meant to be.
At least once every day since the first time it was shared, you would tell each other “I love you.” Now, all you could say to each other was goodbye. You could see in Nolan’s eyes that he was trying his hardest to not cry but he did anyway. For one last time, Nolan held you in his arms in a tender embrace as the both of you lost tears. Normally, a couple that just broke up wouldn’t do this but Nolan tilted your head up towards him and sealed the end of your storied relationship with a final tear-soaked kiss.
Over the course of the next few days, you packed up your respective things and began the separation, silently removing things from your shared space. Throughout your packing, you both found little mementos from your relationship; things like the paper ticket Nolan wrote his number on when he first met you, the gold N necklace Nolan gave you on your first anniversary, the birthday card you gave Nolan when he turned 23 last year, a bottle of your perfume that was Nolan’s favorite. You had also found some of Nolan’s clothes that he had given you over the years you were together. The world that you had known together had turned around and it was a lot to process; you really were beginning to enjoy your new home but now, you both had to return back to your old one. Thankfully, one of your local friends let you stay at her place in the meantime until everything was in place for you to return back to Philadelphia and Nolan stayed at the apartment. You were all his and Nolan was all yours but that was all gone. Leaving you behind wasn’t easy but he did it anyway. It was wild how you moved to Vegas at the start of the 2021-22 season and by the time the season ended in April 2022, the relationship was over.
The 2022 off-season was supposed to be different this time. At the start of the year, you and Nolan had made plans to explore Europe for an off-season couple’s trip but before the start of the summer, that trip never happened. Flights and hotels were refunded; the diamond ring Nolan had planned on proposing to you with on the trip was returned to the jewelry store. Nolan went back to his happy place at home with his family but returning to Winnipeg without you this time did hurt him a bit. As expected with returning back, Nolan had to deal with the whispers and rumors that came from people who had no idea what he was going through.
The only bright side of the otherwise sad off-season was that Nolan’s quality of life improved a lot as his migraines continued to get better with the time off; he eventually found a good regime to help him cope and he was able to do some of the things he loved, like golfing and listening to loud music. While he was home, Nolan cooked up a good plan to fly back to Philadelphia to convince you to take him back but that was all in his head; he hadn’t been to Philly since you both moved to Vegas for the trade and he never did return to play a game there. Nolan couldn’t bring himself to go back to the city that was home at one point but isn’t anymore so he let the plan go and let time pass by.
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2022-23
The 2022 off-season turned into Nolan not returning to the NHL at all. The Vegas Golden Knights ended up winning the Stanley Cup in 2023 without him; it hurt the both of you to see Nolan’s old team succeed at achieving one of his goals. Despite the progress made in Nolan’s recovery, playing hockey full-time unfortunately never really made its way back into the picture for him.
Nolan still quietly kept tabs on you, watching you from the sidelines. You finished up your Master’s degree program and he was proud of you again, just like he was when you graduated with your Bachelor’s degree. It had been over a year since you last talked to Nolan. You tried to keep tabs on Nolan but he wasn’t really close with anyone from his old teams anymore and you only saw brief glimpses of him through his Winnipeg friends. You romantically moved on with someone new, someone who fulfilled the “if he wanted to, he would” that Nolan chose not to meet. Nolan moved on too, he met a girl in an online support group for athletes whose careers were derailed by injuries. His new girlfriend met the requirement of no hockey connections and she was great; he deeply loved and cared for her, just like he did for you.
Despite the amount of freedom you had from each other since the break up, you weren’t fully clean and still had pieces of each other left lingering all over you. You would never look at a vehicle with muddy tires the same way –they reminded you of when you and Nolan went to Hawaii for All-Star Break, rented a Jeep, and explored the island–, you would never look at anything related to ham and cheese without thinking of Nolan’s pre-game meal and how you missed going to watch him play, the migraine medication commercials made you think about the treatments that didn’t work and wondered what was helping him now. Nolan was notoriously known for his privacy and for being a lurker so you had no idea if he had truly missed you.
Sometimes, Nolan did miss you but he wasn’t going to let you know that. When the Italian restaurant that you had gone to on your first date closed down, Nolan wanted to talk to you to reminisce on those good times but he didn’t reach out, he couldn’t see orange juice without thinking about how he always kept a bottle in the fridge for you, plaid always reminded him of the flannels you wore in the fall, hearing certain songs on the radio made him wonder if you would like this song. One day, while figuring out what to listen to, Nolan came across the playlist. During your relationship, Nolan made a secret playlist called “y/n-core” and it contained all of the songs you liked and songs that reminded him of you. He listened to it whenever he missed you; when you found out about it, you made a similar playlist for him. Music was something important to both of you so deleting the playlist was hard so you both kept it; Nolan would secretly listen to it whenever he missed you and look back at old photos from when you were together and when you missed him, you would put on one of his old shirts and play it as a coping mechanism.
Looking back at the relationship, some questions began to arise. Were there any warning signs that you missed beforehand that could have indicated that the relationship was doomed? Could you blame Nolan for wanting a change? Could you blame Nolan for not changing his mind and not wanting to reconcile what you had? Could Nolan blame you for moving on when he didn’t want to stay together? Neither of you would have ever thought your relationship would have ended the way it did. It started off like a beautiful love song but it crumbled like a piece of paper when it ended. Neither of you would say that you wasted your time being together because you lived and learned throughout your relationship; you both carried those things into your new relationships. Even though you’re not sure if you’ll ever see or hear from him again, you had hoped that Nolan was doing okay and he had the same hope for you. Over time, you forgave Nolan for what he did and Nolan forgave himself for his actions. You understood why Nolan broke your heart the way that he did; he did it because he loved you so much that he willingly walked away from you so that someone better could come into the picture. Nolan’s capacity for love was enough for you but he saw it differently so you had to fully accept his decision.
Even though you’ve both moved on to new partners, your name and Nolan’s name still lingered on each other’s lips whenever either of you kissed your new lover. Sometimes, you missed the moments when Nolan would randomly interrupt you with a kiss (your new partner wouldn’t attempt such a thing) and Nolan actually missed doing it to you and couldn’t bring himself to continue that with his new girlfriend. Every now and then, the feelings of missing each other would occasionally sink in and you both would miss and think about the other. You both hated missing each other because you both had new lovers, but that didn’t prevent those feelings coming up. Sometimes, you both wished that the other would call but those calls would never come and you had to let each other go. If you somehow did end up back together, it would cause more pain than love; how do you fully trust someone who hurt you so much? You both still carried a little of the love you shared together but things would never go back to being the same. After being out of touch for so long, there was no point in trying to revitalize the relationship you had together or to even try attempting to be friends because you were both on different roads and chapters in life. The last drop of rain from the storm of your relationship dried off the pavement and there were no physical stains left behind.
————————————————————
20xx-xx (Epilogue)
Many years later, when you were chilling with your new partner at your apartment, they accidentally spilled water on their shirt so you gave them one of Nolan’s old practice shirts to wear. Seeing your new lover wear something from your old lover made you short-circuit for a minute. How can someone that you love now look so good in something that belonged to someone you loved before? Your new lover also asked you to marry them underneath a pillow fort while wearing Nolan’s old shirt with your dream ring and the date this occurred was the 19th. On a warm sandy beach somewhere, Nolan proposed to his new girlfriend on the exact same day with the same ring you wanted (his now fiancee’s dream ring). Throughout your relationship with Nolan, the number 19 started appearing more in your life and started holding more importance to you because of him. It was Nolan’s jersey number in Philadelphia (changed to 41 in Vegas), his birthday was on the 19th of September, it was part of the address of the first place you lived together, and it was the age that you fell in love with each other. The number nineteen meant something significant to the both of you and neither of you would ever forget it.
Hey friend! So excited for these blurbs! Could you do number 9 with my all time favourite couple, Nolan and Sawyer? ♥️🥰
Hi friend!! Thanks for this. It was so fun to write. I hope you like it!!
“This is beautiful.” Sawyer remarked as Nolan set down their bags.
She was right. It was.
The hotel room was large and spacious, wall to wall windows, cathedral ceilings, and a large four poster canopy bed in the center of the room. Nolan looked out the window across the beach which was right outside their balcony.
This was a much needed vacation after the stress of his last season in Philly, and before the start of their new life in Las Vegas. It was one of the last fun things they would have time to do before they made the trip to Vegas and got settled in.
“Yeah it’s nice. So what do you wanna do first? The beach?”
She turned and frowned “Sure. I figured you’d be tired and wanna lay down though.”
He shook his head “My head is fine Sawyer. I don’t wanna waste vacation being bedridden.”
He was tired, but there was more important things to do than take a nap.
When she had suggested a beach trip, he immediately said yes.
Nolan HATED the beach. The sun was too sunny. The sand was too sandy, and there was always people acting a fool. But the thought of getting to spend that much time seeing Sawyer in a bikini outweighed all of those things, so he would put up with sun, sand and dumbasses for the week.
“So…..” he smiled at her and nodded out the window “The beach?”
She grinned and opened her suitcase pulling out a pink bathing suit, and changed. Nolan was salivating as he watched her get dressed and made their way down to the beach.
And that’s what he did the next three days. Anytime they were hanging out in their room.
“Hey let’s go to the beach.”
“Beach?”
“Nah just leave your suit on, we can go to the beach.”
“Okay what gives?” She said on the fourth day. She was wearing a bathing suit, hands on her hips after Nolan had suggested another beach outing.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes you do. You hate the beach.” She laughed “You’ve always hated the beach and now all of a sudden you wanna spend every spare minute on it.”
“I just-since you like the beach you’d wanna spend some time on it that’s all. I wanna make sure you get the full beach experience.”
“Uh huh.” She was frowning at him with her eyebrows raised. He knew she wasn’t buying it, and he was a terrible liar especially to her “You just wanna make sure I get the full beach experience?”
“Yes.”
“Your a bad liar you know.”
He sighed and nodded looking at his legs “Yeah I know.”
“If I find out you wanted to come here just to get me in swimwear for a week, I’ll never let you forget it.”
“I wouldn’t-I mean I just-“ but she was laughing and then he did too.
“Oh Nolan.” She said with a small smile.
“I like seeing you in a bikini. Sue me.” He said throwing his hands up.
She turned and smiled, reaching a hand up and tugged at the string of her top, pulling it loose “Oh yeah? How about out of my bikini? Do you like that too?”
Nolan smiled as the top fell very slowly to the floor.
4 times he tried saying i love you, and the 1 time he did - nolan patrick
so this was for the Summer Fic Exchange that @antoineroussel hosted this year and i got assigned to write a fic for @luvsherleafs
this was my first time doing a fic exchange so it took me a while to figure out what i wanted the fic to be about and making sure i met the requirements - so far i had a few mutuals read it so it made sense and that nothing was wrong so i'm hoping you liked it
*i couldn’t exactly think of anything to write at first so i used multiple prompts from both this list and this list*
the prompts i used/based the fic off are: person A can’t sleep so they wake up person B - person B is exhausted but they stay awake with person A until person a falls asleep +
“I wanted to say i love you for the first time without stuttering but that failed”
warnings: mention of injuries, fluff
# of words: 4,901
nolan masterlist
main masterist
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1. After a game
There were many benefits that came out of your friendship with Nolan. Never having to use a step stool whenever he came over because of his height and how he was tall enough to reach the highest shelves. Even growing up, he’ll sometimes put things up high so you’ll have to ask for his help or getting to go to games and sometimes getting to see the behind the scenes stuff before and after games. He was one of the nicest people you could call a friend, even if sometimes he looked like he was virtually unapproachable. It just depended on who he was with but overall he was one of the nicest people you know, and could trust and depend on him.
The final buzzer sounded off at the Wells Fargo center, signaling the end of the game. You tried to hide yourself in the crowd for the entirety of the game and hoped Nolan wouldn’t see you. He was a little disappointed you couldn’t make it to the game because of work, especially when he was playing hockey professionally for the first time again after a rough season and managed to get a hat trick, wishing you could see it, and tried to hide the sadness behind his celebration during the game.
People began to exit celebrating the win as you waited until it was clear enough to go back. It was normal at this point for you to wait by the doors of the locker room seeing that everyone knew who you were after seeing you multiple times with Nolan. The doors opened as each player began to leave with their respective partner if they came to the game while everyone said their goodbyes. Travis noticed you quickly by the familiar “Patrick 19” jersey you wore and you glanced back at your phone as he walked up to you.
“Hey stranger,” someone said, making you jump
“Jesus TK, don’t do that!” you told him, grabbing your chest before hugging him.
“Patty’s just doing an interview right now so he’ll be out soon,” he said as Karly walked up to the two of you.
“Figured, seeing how he played tonight,” you replied as Nolan exited the room, just ready to go home
“Alright man, I’m done are-” Nolan began, but broke into a smile when he saw you.
“You’re here? I thought you had work?” he said surprised, giving you a hug.
“Well technically I did but I managed to get off early. And by early I mean, I have to go in early tomorrow,” you explained as you pulled away from his hug.
“Well that sucks but I’m glad you made it!” He gave you another hug, as TK and Karly left.
“Of course I would make it and I’m glad I did.” You started to walk out, but he stopped you.
“Thanks, uh,.” Nolan hesitated, wanting to get his feelings together to tell you how he feels. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Go ahead, what is it?”
“Uh, we’ve been friends for a long time and I started to realize something...” he started,
“What I realized was-”
“Patty! C’mon! We’re going to celebrate!” Claude yelled over at him.
“What were you saying? It sounded important, tell me as we walk.”
“No, it’s fine. Um, it can wait.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah of course,” he nodded as they left together, upset to lose the chance to tell you while riding an adrenaline high and good energy
2. After a heartbreak
It hadn’t been that long since Nolan tried to tell you how he really feels. He knew what he was doing especially since you were already in a relationship and didn’t want anything to ruin your friendship. It’s what runs through his mind most of the time but he sees you’re always happy when you’re out with the person you’re dating and sometimes it hurts him but he won’t admit anything yet.
It was another Friday night and while it was still the regular season it didn’t mean that he didn’t get to have days off. When he did, he tried to enjoy them as much as he could since they gave him time to think, whether it was just about hockey or if it was just about his personal life, and it was some of the few times where he didn’t have to worry as much. The most he did that day was go for a run, skate, and run errands, now he was relaxing watching whatever piqued his interest. Nolan was soon snapped out of his thoughts when he heard knocking on his door. He didn’t order any food nor was he expecting anyone to be at his and Kevin’s apartment for the night since Kevin was out and had his own keys. Pausing his movie, he got up and opened the door to find you standing there with tears streaming down your face.
“Hey what happened?” Nolan asked, concerned, stepping aside to let you in.
“He cheated on me,” was all you could say when you walked into the apartment and into his arms for a much-needed hug.
Nolan couldn’t help but tense up a bit after you told him that but quickly relaxed and took you to the couch to sit down. Going into the kitchen to grab you some water, he thought about whether it was the right time to tell you how he felt. When he came back he found you drying your eyes before looking up at him as he handed you the water and sat back down.
“You okay now?” he asked, not knowing what to say
“I don’t know how I feel. I’m feeling so many things at once, but now I just feel like I’ve been betrayed. I told him he has until tomorrow evening to leave,” you tried to explain but can’t help feeling frustrated. Nolan nodded, listening to you and shaking off the urge to hurt the guy, knowing it would hurt you more.
“Do you want to stay here tonight and then tomorrow I can go with you back to your place?”
“Yeah I’d like that. I’m sorry for bothering you on one of your days off-”
“Y/N, it’s fine. You can always count on me to help you no matter what is going on or what happened.”
“Thanks Patty, you’re gonna make a lucky girl so happy someday,” you smiled at him, not knowing how badly he wanted to be with you.
“Yeah I hope so,” he mumbled, watching you get comfortable and engrossed in the movie.
Throughout the rest of the movie Nolan couldn’t pay attention to what was playing on his tv and just let it play until he looked down and realized you’d fallen asleep with your head on his chest. It was late and he didn’t want to disturb you, but still wanted you to sleep comfortably. He gently shook your shoulder and whispered your name to wake you..
“Hey, Y/N? C’mon let’s get to bed. You don’t want to sleep on the couch, I’ll sleep in the guest room and you can take my bed,” Nolan said, and he picked you up to take you to his room. You were too tired to protest and your head still hurt from all the crying so you couldn’t argue with him.
Nolan laid you down on his bed before pulling the covers up and leaving some painkillers on the nightstand for you to take in the morning in case your head still hurt. You soon closed your eyes again as Nolan left his room to get settled in the guest bedroom for the night. It wasn’t his bed and he had trouble sleeping but soon his eyes started to close with the tv in the background as he thought about you before slowly falling asleep. The only problem was that you weren’t able to sleep. After Nolan left, you felt your sense of security and the one person you knew you could always trust was in the other room. You wanted him to be with you but you didn’t want to bother him thinking that he’d be most likely asleep after seeing him try to hide his yawns when you were venting to him. After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, you got up and went to the living room to see if he was there before not finding him there. Slowly going back, you decided to check the guest bedroom and slowly opened the door to find him asleep with the tv on. At first you didn’t know whether or not to awaken him before walking in quietly. You never noticed how peaceful he looked when he slept and it killed you to wake him.
“Nolan?” you whispered hoping he’d wake up, but he didn’t. The most he did was go from sleeping on his side to his back.
“Nols? Patty?” you tried one more time, this time shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes, momentarily disoriented.
“Y/N? You okay?”
“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop thinking, and I felt safer with you and-”
“It’s okay, c’mon,” he said, scooting over making room in the bed.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s just sleeping,” he said, cringing slightly at his words.
“Just sleeping,” you echoed, in a thoughtful tone that you’re not sure he noticed as you slipped into the bed beside him.
Despite being more comfortable, too many thoughts were running through your head, keeping you from relaxing.
“Nols?”
“Hmm.”
“Are you mad that I didn’t listen to you the first time you met him?” you asked hesitantly, scared of his answer.
“I’m not mad, it was your choice to make. I’m just disappointed ‘cause you deserve a lot better.”
“Thanks. I’m too tired to talk about it anymore.” You roll over to face him.
“It’s okay. What do you want to talk about?” He gave your arm an encouraging rub.
“I’d rather hear what’s on your mind.”
“Oh, just how the rest of the season is going to go, if anything’s going to set me back, how much I l-” he cut himself off
He didn’t want to put any pressure on you by admitting his feelings while you were vulnerable, and especially didn’t want to lose your friendship
“How much you what?”
“How I value our friendship…”
“Yeah, keep talking...” you said sleepily and he continued to talk about his hockey schedule, and what plans he wanted to make for the off season if they didn’t make playoffs… and so on until you both dozed off
3. At a party
It was the holidays which meant holiday parties happening and you were going to be invited to every single one of them. You somehow managed to make up excuses for some that you didn’t want to attend, saying you had either other plans or that your family was in town and you wanted to spend time with them. At this point you didn’t remember whose party you’d gone to and whose party you hadn't gone to. The only one you felt most comfortable attending was Claude and Ryanne’s annual Christmas party. It was an expected invite considering how close you became with the team after they understood how close your friendship was with Nolan. They felt like a second family now..
The house was crowded with the team and their families, children running around and playing with each other, adults watching them carefully while talking to each other as Christmas music played softly in the background. You were talking to Karly and Ryanne about the rest of the season and your plans for the holidays. You glanced over Karly’s shoulder to see Nolan chatting with Phil and Bee before locking eyes with yours and smiling. The two women noticed you were distracted and exchanged glances, before Ryanne spoke up.
“So, Y/N, when are you and Nolan going to stop eye fucking and admit your feelings for each other?” she asked you innocently, making you choke on your drink.
“What?” you squeaked in confusion.
“You and Nolan? I mean we know you like each other.”
“No, we-- we’re just friends. I’m still fresh from a breakup— I’m not--.”
“Oh please-” Karly began, but Nolan interrupted just in time.
“Hey, can I borrow you?”
“Yeah, I’ll talk to you two later,” you say, ignoring the knowing smirks on their faces as they sipped their drinks and turning their backs to you while walking away
You and Nolan made your way through the crowd of party-goers, making sure not to hit any of the kids. Stepping onto the porch, Nolan closed the doors before walking over to where you were leaning over the wood railing. The night was quiet and the only noise that the two of you could hear was the faint holiday music playing back inside the house. Neither one of you spoke but you could tell that Nolan wanted to say something by the way he was fidgeting and hesitating when he’d try to speak..
“I need to tell you something.”
“Can we talk?”
You spoke at the same time, making you laugh.
“Go ahead, you go first. You seemed like you needed to get something off your chest,” you say, and his shoulder relaxes a little.
“Thanks. I haven’t been sure how to say this,” ” Nolan started
“There’s this girl, and a lot of people seem to know I like her, the only problem is, whenever I try to tell her I get interrupted…”
“I’m sure you’ll get your chance,” you say, unable to truly encourage him, but wanting him to be happy.
“About that, we’ve known each other a long time, and I’ve kept it to myself…” he paused to take a deep breath, clearly nervous
“What is it?” you asked, hating to see him uncomfortable
“Y/N, I’ve been scared to say--”
“Hey guys it’s Secret Santa time, c’mon!” Claude called, sticking his head out the door.
“We’ll be right there!” you replied before turning back to Nolan.
“What were you going to say?” you questioned as he shook his head with a sigh.
“I don’t wanna have to rush through it, let’s not keep them waiting.” he said giving an awkward smile before walking towards the doors. You didn’t say anything as a frown etched upon your face before shaking it off and putting on a fake smile and walking back inside.
The rest of the night was filled with curiosity, this was the third time he tried to tell you something but someone or something got in the way. The rest of the night he couldn’t keep his eyes off you as you laughed and talked with everyone as they opened with whatever gag gift they had gotten.
4. During a training session
You’d do anything for Nolan and he knew that. You were there with him during his draft day and he would always text and call throughout the entire time he was getting drafted. Whenever he asked you to go to a game before and after the NHL you’d always make sure that you didn’t have anything to do that day so you could go. There was only one thing you gritted your teeth through, and that was training with him. It didn’t matter whether it was on the ice or whether it was lifting weights you’d still go with him, because you liked the quality time you got to spend with him. He usually would cut you some slack if you looked really tired, and just let you sit on the bench while he finished his sets. This was one of those days where he had asked you to train with him by himself before the rest of the season continued after the holidays.
Nolan was up early and already at your apartment ready for the day while you were still in bed before he knocked on your door. He knocked multiple times until he finally decided to use his spare keys. As he was about to insert the key, you opened the door, tired with a look on your face while he was smiling ready for the day.
“Nolan, you’re one of my oldest best friends and I love you, but I hate your guts right now.” you said grouchily while walking away and into the kitchen after letting him inside, missing his pained expression over your ‘I love you’.
“You agreed, and offered to be my workout buddy when everyone else bailed. So technically this is on you. You could’ve politely declined and that would’ve been fine, you know that” he said as he grabbed some mugs for the coffee you started to prepare for the two of you
He got caught up watching you move about your kitchen, comfortable and beautiful even though you’d argue that you were a mess. No matter what you were wearing or how you looked, Nolan would always compliment you in some way. It was until he noticed that the shirt you were wearing was one of his from his Brandon Wheat Kings days making him smile at the memory of you at his last game with them. He never had a problem with you taking his clothes seeing how often you stayed at his place, both in Philly and in Winnipeg and he offered you to wear his, especially if you two went out and you were wearing something uncomfortable.
Nolan snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the coffee machine beep before grabbing it and poured it into the mugs, preparing yours by memory before handing it over to you. The two of you exchanged light chit chat until you went to get changed to head to the gym and not the ice today based off of his outfit.
The ride to the Flyers gym was quiet. You usually got to listen to Nolan talk about his plans for the offseason if they didn’t make it to the playoffs or anything that came to his head, but not today. You could tell something was bothering him. The only sound through the entire ride was the playlist he had made for the two of you that shared all your favorite songs, even songs you loved that you didn’t tell him or show him were on the playlist.
When you both arrived, you both went your separate ways and did your own things. You couldn’t help but look at him whenever he did pull ups, his shirt rising a little, showing off his v line, and you needed to try to focus on keeping good form while you lifted your weights. You got lost in your thoughts so much that you were startled when Nolan touched your shoulder to get your attention.
“Sorry, you were really deep in through. You okay?”
“Yeah of course. What do you need?”
“I need you to spot me,” he said
“Sure, sorry I have a lot running through my mind right now.”
“I know the feeling.” He grunted as he added weights onto the bar.
Nolan began his set while you spotted him, and you were unable to resist taking a peek at the tattoos that scattered his thighs, noticing a new one next to the winged heart. A small ghost and a tall ghost, an homage to your Halloween costumes as kids that you’d thought would be funny because neither one of you could think of anything better. He hadn’t mentioned it to you, only the ghost on the skateboard.
“Hey, when did you get the ghosts tattooed?” you asked when he set the weight down
“Um, not too long ago, I got the one on the skateboard and it felt incomplete so I got the little one too. Completely slipped my mind.” He laughs, seeming a little embarrassed
“I love it, it feels nostalgic,” you say with a smile
You headed over to where the medicine balls were and grabbed one to do some squats, and Nolan decided now was as good a time as any. You were alone, and couldn’t possibly be interrupted. So he swallowed his nerves and walked over to you.
“You’ve been such a support system for me since we were teenagers, and the tattoo reminds me of that,” he began.
“I think it’s really sweet, Patty,” you replied
“The guys have always teased me like brothers since I joined the team and I told them about you, and how important you are to me...” he stated as you listened carefully
“And during those times they would always make fun of me for never saying this but, Y/N, I lo-” he tried to say before getting cut off by the door opening loudly revealing Coots and Jake
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Nolan groaned under his breath, heading out of the gym without another word.
“What was that about?” Coots asked.
“Something about his tattoo?” You said, unsure, and quickly grabbed both of your stuff to catch up with Nolan.
+ 1
5. After an injury
Going to games was a normal thing for you. Nolan made sure there was a ticket reserved in your name for every home game so you could attend. At first you were more comfortable in the stands than in the box with the wags, but eventually you would join them later on. The only time you didn’t watch a game in the box was whenever you were on a date and they had suggested you go to a game. He hadn’t minded, preferring to see you happy and not upset and that you had a good time with them. During those times, he would do anything to get your attention and show off that you were friends with a professional hockey player. You’d give him the side eye while glaring at him, occasionally telling him to stop messing around before going over to where a kid was around you and tossing them a puck.
That was one of the things he enjoyed about being a player, not only his love for the sport but also seeing kids happy. You always enjoyed watching him play but it also sometimes made you nervous seeing how accident prone he was, especially knowing he’d do anything to protect his teammates. He was a big guy, but some of the guys he went head to head with were bigger and it couldn’t end well. It made you worry that fighting could worsen his migraines and how he already had to sit out an entire season because of them. He would lie about being in pain but you could see right through him.
He had gotten his migraines under control when they happened but you always knew that something could trigger them again. You’re the first person he’d admit to being in pain to, and you’d always help him through the migraines until he felt better again. Nolan sometimes felt bad that you’d put your life on hold just so you could be with him no matter how many times he’d told you that you didn’t have to stay. It was one of the reasons why he loved you. You’d always put others before yourself and would take time out of your day to make sure that they were okay.
You were sitting in the box with Karly, talking ahead of the game, watching Moose lead them out onto the ice for warmups before the game against the Rangers. You saw how Nolan began to skate around half the ice while shooting pucks in trying to get past Moose. Karly noticed the way you were watching Nolan, but kept her thoughts to herself, already knowing about all the interrupted confessions through TK. She knew things would fall into place for you both, at the right time.
The game was going rather smoothly against the Rangers during the first and second period, despite no one scoring but close goals happening a few times. Third period is when it started to worry you because of how you saw Nolan becoming frustrated with himself after missing a shot. It wasn’t until a couple minutes later that he was shoved into the boards head first, causing his helmet to come off. You jumped out of your seat and grabbed Karly’s hand, hoping he’d get up as his teammates skated over to him. You knew it was serious when you spotted the team medic and saw TK pick him up to get him off the ice and into the locker room.
You waited a few minutes to see whether or not he’d come back and sit on the bench but it wasn’t happening, so you got up and headed to the locker room. You were used to his injuries throughout his entire hockey career both in the NHL and in juniors but they still scared you every time and you didn’t want him to miss the rest of the season, especially if they needed to clinch a spot in playoffs.
Before you got to the locker room you ran into TK, who was coming to look for you
“Is he okay?”
“He could be worse. He won’t be able to finish the game and might miss a few more... they want him to get an MRI just in case,” Travis explained as the two of you reached closer to the door
You walked in moments later, and found Nolan reclining, clutching an ice pack to his head over a towel. He was staring at the ceiling trying to keep himself focused and alert. He turned to look at you, sitting up straighter and gave you a weary smile already knowing what you were going to say but nothing came out. You couldn’t say anything but returned his smile, sitting next to him on the free chair as Travis gave Nolan an encouraging nod and returned to the game.
“Hey,” he mumbled.
“Hi, how are you feeling?” you asked, brushing the stray hairs away from his face.
“I feel peachy keene,” he tried to joke, making you smile a bit as he cleared his throat.
“Hurts like a bitch,” he admits quietly
“And I broke my promise to you again.”
“It’s hockey, fights and falls happen.” You grabbed his free hand
He knew that was his chance to finally tell you seeing that no one can interrupt him this time as Travis told them to wait a while before they go in after the game before he left to get you. He took a deep breath and all the anxiety he was feeling left his body.
“Y/N, I need you to listen to me for a sec.”
“Yeah, of course, go ahead,” you replied with a concerned look on your face.
“We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. You were the new kid and I was the dorky kid that sat next to you.” he started as you smiled at the memory
“It took you a while to warm up to me since I annoyed you almost every single day trying to get you to talk and it worked. You’ve stuck by me since then. Through my horrendous mullet that you hated, whether it was my natural hair color or the bleach blond which I don’t regret by the way, even though I know you hated it, and now with my professional career. You’re always with me throughout all of my injuries and you were with me when I got drafted. Hell, you even moved to Philly with me even though I didn’t ask you too. My family loves you and considers you as another child to them. I’ve seen you at your worst and at your best, your happiest and your saddest,” he groaned at the end, having rushed through the words, making his head throb.
“I've been in love with you for the longest time and I’ll always be in love with you,” he stuttered through, throat already dry from his confession
Your silence makes him worry, and he tries to look at your face, but you smile and he relaxes.
“You’re so important to me. I never wanted to ruin our friendship by admitting my feelings…I love you too.” You say as your words made him look at the ceiling, as his cheeks flushed
“We’ve been hurting our own feelings about each other, haven’t we?” he laughed looking back over at you
“Yeah we have,” you agreed
“If I’m honest, I wanted to say I love you for the longest time without stuttering or failing and it happened” he laughed before continuing
“Can I-”
You interrupted him with a kiss, reading his mind. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each other for a moment, pulling away just in time to see around 18 men pour through the door on top of each other, looking at the two of you before quickly getting up, making you two laugh.
“Sooo?” Travis asked.
Neither of you spoke a word, holding up your intertwined hands and smiling, causing everyone to start cheering, but immediately shushing themselves when they saw Nolan wince at the loud noise.
“I'll let you get changed. I’m going to go wait with the other girls. I love you.” you said to him kissing his forehead, avoiding his cut and stroking his hair again.
“I love you too. I’m so glad I get to say that now. I’ll see you outside”
Letting you go was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but I’d make it a thousand more times if it meant…” - Nolan Patrick
Nolan’s absence was so big you almost couldn’t breathe.
He no longer frequented his favorite coffee and food spots. His car wasn’t in your assigned spot anymore. His things were missing from your once shared apartment and holy fuck, he was gone.
Nolan was gone and he took an entirely too large part of you with him.
You willed yourself not to cry every morning you woke up alone and willed yourself not to cry again every time you opened the cupboard to reach for your favorite mug only to see that his was no longer there.
You willed yourself not to lose your shit entirely because you missed him more than you could ever verbalize. Nolan Patrick was the love of your life and you were pretty sure you were his too, until he was traded to a team across the country.
*
“We’ll be fine,” Nolan placed a soft kiss on your forehead, “we’ll make this work. I promise.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t know, Nols, I don’t know if we can do it,” you sobbed into his hoodie while he wrapped his arms around your frame.
“Don’t take that on, don’t think about that at all.”
*
The texts from Nolan were coming much less frequently than they used to and he was barely calling at all. You threw yourself into work in an attempt to distract yourself from the fact that you were losing him but it wasn’t helping much.
Your relationship with Nolan was fading into a memory and you hadn’t even broken up yet. That realization alone was enough to send to you to your knees, crying harder than he probably cared but missing him anyway.
It was on your third trip to visit him in Vegas when things came to a head.
“Hey,” he noticed your swollen eyes and red cheeks immediately, “have you been crying?”
“Yeah,” you fought back a sob, “yeah Nols, I’ve been crying.”
“Baby, why?”
“You, Nolan. I’ve been crying because of you.”
He looked nervous and fumbled with his words before giving you some bullshit excuse for his absence.
“Please don’t lie to me, Nolan. We’re closer than that.”
“You’re right,” he cleared his throat and bit his bottom lip, “we’re closer than that.”
“You met someone then, right?”
You knew it was coming. Nolan Patrick was an attractive professional athlete living in Las Vegas. He was going to find someone eventually.
“Kind of.”
“Please just be honest, Nol.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
You weren’t sure. You were actually fucking terrified of hearing what he had to say about his shiny new thing and how that thing compared to you. You didn’t want to know because you weren’t the one in the lead.
“I will always have love for you, more love than you know. I will always be here for you if you need anything but I’m not going to lie to you. I met someone and that someone has a place in my heart I can’t explain. Please don’t take this in a negative light, because letting go of you was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but I’d make it thousand times more if it meant this was where I’d end up.”
You could feel your throat closing and the tears building behind your eyes. Nolan had already moved on and it was over between the two of you.
“Can you please do me one last favor? Can you please book me a flight home?"
Pairing: Nolan Patrick x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: smut, Dom!Nolan, spanking, choking, daddy kink, use of the color system, rough sex, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), fingering, mentions of bruises, fluff,
Summary: Nolan comes home from a rough roadie. Y/N suggests he take it out on her like he’s done before, but things are a bit too rough this time and Nolan ends up hurting her, sending him into a panic and promising to do everything and anything to make it better.
Nolan had been having a bad week to begin with, hell a bad season at that. There was talk of him being benched for a game, as he wasn’t producing at all. His last goal came in a shootout, but otherwise, it’d been goose eggs for a while. He had already been moved to the fourth line and he was a mixture of anxious and angry as he left for the most recent roadie.
Losing 0-9, then 1-6 at the end really tipped him off. He came home fuming, disappointed in himself, upset with the team and the tension that was radiating through the locker room the entire time. And tired. The flight was rough. All he wanted was something to eat and then to go to bed.
He was harsh with the apartment door, slamming it upon entering, cussing at himself for slamming it, knowing you’d be on him later for it. He hadn’t even noticed you standing in the kitchen, watching him with pitiful eyes.
Of course, you knew about the season. You knew how he felt about his own performances and the teams as a whole. You knew how stressed out he’d been lately.
“Nolan?” you asked tentatively, watching as he leaned back against the door.
“What?” His voice was harsh, but you could hear the softness laced around it, trying to be calm around you.
“You know the last time you were stressed and...and you took it out on me? We can do that again if you want to.”
“Seriously?” he breathed, almost out of relief. “Baby if you’re down for it, I could really use that.”
You nodded and stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and having to stand on your toes to meet his height. “I’m here, I want to.”
“You’ll say red if you need to, right?”
“You know I would,” you said, brushing your hand through his hair, disheveled from what you could only assume was the flight.
“Fuck,” he grunted, grabbing the backs of your thighs and lifting you up, you hooking your legs around his waist.
Nolan’s lips were on yours, blindly finding his way to the bedroom. He kicked the door closed, throwing you down onto the bed, a slight smirk crossing his features as you bounced, finding a comfortable position for yourself. He wasted no time undressing you, tossing the clothes carelessly to the floor.
“Nolan, oh fuck!” You moaned as his tongue lapped at your already soaked center.
“What was that?” He asked, hand colliding with your ass, hard. You whined at the feeling, the loss of him eating you out and now the stinging pain on your bottom.
“Nolan, please?” Your sentence died off as he spanked you again, flipping you over onto your stomach.
“What’s my name?” His question had your thighs shaking. He really must’ve had a bad week. Nolan was usually on the rough side most times, but when he got like this it meant something was really wrong.
“Daddy,” you moaned, gripping onto the pillow. He rolled you back over again, giving you a quick smile before delving back between your thighs. He was quick to lift your legs over his shoulders, gripping your thighs and mouthing at your clit.
“More,” you begged, grabbing his hair and pulling at the brown locks, eliciting a moan from him. He fucked you with his tongue, his thumb flicking your clit and sending you into your first orgasm.
“Fuck, baby. You taste so good,” Nolan hummed, using his shirt to wipe off his chin. Your cheeks reddened at the sight you’d never get used to.
“How many times do you think you can cum tonight, Y/N?” He asked, his middle finger entering you.
You hummed, holding onto his wrist as he fingered you.
“Answer my question,” he demanded, sending butterflies swarming in your stomach.
“F-Four,” you stuttered, and he smirked, adding a second finger and crooking them against your g-spot. You writhed on the bed, mouth hung open in an ‘o’ shape as he pumped his finger in and out of you, his thumb brushing your clit occasionally.
“You really think only four?” He chuckled, one hand now holding your hips down, his eyes focused on your pussy and what his hands were doing to you. “I bet I could get five.”
You moaned at his statement, trying to push your hips up, but failing as he held you down. It wasn’t long before the familiar warmth grew in your stomach, the sounds coming from your lips only urging Nolan to continue, barely even slowing when you released on his fingers. It was only when you began to squirm under his touch that he pulled his fingers out, wiping the excess on his pants.
He unbuttoned his dress shirt throwing it somewhere onto the floor to join your discarded clothing. Nolan laid down on his back, pulling you over his hips, his hard-on visible through the slacks he had on, pushing up against your core.
You raised up on your knees and undid the belt and button of his pants, sliding them, along with his boxer briefs off. Nolan kicked them off his ankles, before grabbing your hips and slamming you down on his cock, the two of you crying out together in pleasure.
“Ride me, baby girl,” he ordered and you rocked your hips against his, bouncing a few times, but it clearly wasn’t enough for Nolan. He began thrusting himself into you, his hands digging into your hips hard as he fucked you. It wouldn’t surprise you if tomorrow you’d find bruises where his fingertips had been.
Nolan’s hand trailed from your hip, up to your rib, stopping to tease your breast, thumbing over your nipple until you were whimpering, before finally coming to stop at the base of your throat. You slowed down for a second to register what was happening, but with one look from Nolan, you knew exactly what he wanted. His hand tightened around your neck and you leaned into it, letting him take control.
“Cum,” he growled, his lips turning upwards into a smile at your choked moan as you came on his cock.
He let go of your throat, checking in with you quickly. “Green,” you said. He didn’t give you long to recover, pushing you face down onto the bed, his hand gripping at your shoulders as he entered you again.
“Scream baby. Want the neighbors to hear you,” he spoke, using your shoulders for leverage as he slammed into you repeatedly.
“Oh my god,” you groaned.
“Who’s fucking you?” he asked.
“Nolan,” you moaned, your breath hitching when he thrust into you harder.
“Who?”
“Daddy!” you cried.
“Good girl,” Nolan grinned and pulled out of you. “On your back,” he grunted, roughly helping you flip over. You were starting to get tired, but nowhere near your end, still willing to be there for him. You could tell the anger was beginning to fade, but he was still in his role, not ready to give it up yet.
He slammed back into you and you arched up, screaming out his name as he pounded into you. His hand rested around your throat once more and you swallowed hard, catching his eye and nodding, a silent message that meant he could do it. His grip tightened, just slightly again at first, enough for you to feel it but not enough to hurt. You moaned, closing your eyes tightly.
Gradually, he tightened his hold around your throat. The harder he fucked you, the harder his grip became, much tighter than the first time. You watched the pleasure on his face as he chased his high but you realized he was no longer paying attention, or caring how hard he was choking you.
It was getting to be too much, your airway being cut off and the feeling of his fingers squeezing against your skin starting to cause pain. “Yellow,” you rasped, grabbing his arm to try to get him to back off. The pressure on your throat immediately faded and Nolan tore his hand away, his movements stilling as he met your eyes.
“Fuck. Y/N, are you okay?” He asked, cupping your cheek with one hand as he held himself up with the other. “Shit. I’m so sorry. You okay?” he questioned again.
You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “I’m okay,” you assured. “Keep going, please?”
Nolan kissed your forehead gently, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Are you sure? We can stop, baby, it’s okay.”
“I know. I want to. Want you to cum with me, okay?”
“Fuck. Yeah. Okay,” he nodded, his hips snapping to meet yours again. He leaned down, kissing your jaw. It was slow, no longer rough but still hard enough to bring you both to the edge and falling over it, cumming together. It was closer to making love than letting him fuck his anger out with you. Nolan spoke a few apologies in your ear, you assuring him again that you were okay as you carded your fingers through his hair and you both fell out of your roles.
You were still hurting though and Nolan could tell. He carefully lifted you from the bed, carrying you down to his bathroom and starting a hot bath. He helped you get cleaned up, trying not to stare at the redness that was present on your neck.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said once more and you frowned, leaning over the edge of the tub to kiss him.
“I’m okay, Nols. Are you?”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I feel better. Thank you.” He kissed your forehead, dipping his hand into the water and gently splashing it onto your back. “I love you. I needed that.”
“I know you did,” you giggled.
“You promise you’re okay?”
“Tired. But you didn’t hurt me, I promise I’m fine.”
He nodded again, finally taking your word. “Ready for bed?”
“Carry me?” you asked, lifting your arms up to him which made him chuckle. He helped you out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you as he sat you on the counter. He dried you off, being extra careful when it came to your hips and your neck, gently patting those areas dry.
You fell asleep quickly, underneath the warm sheets, and curled up against Nolan’s torso, your head on his chest with his fingers gently rubbing your back, the sound of his heartbeat a soothing lullaby in your ear.
--
Nolan’s stomach sank the next morning. He woke up before you did, his smile wide when you were still in the same position you had fallen asleep in, but his eyes drifted to your neck; the red spot that was there last night had now turned into a reddish-purple bruise and he couldn’t take his eyes off of it. He had done that to you. He hurt you.
He felt like he was going to throw up as panic set in, wondering how on earth he was going to make it up to you, how he was going to prove that he never meant to hurt you and that he would never hurt you. It was one thing for you to have bruises on your hips or thighs, but this was your neck, a place that everybody was going to see and those bruises were there because he got too carried away last night.
He slipped out of bed quietly, thankful that his movements hadn’t woken you up. It was still early and he knew you needed the sleep. It wasn’t worth it to wake you up, so instead, he left a note on the nightstand, dressing comfortably before leaving his apartment, skipping breakfast entirely as he drove to the nearest drugstore.
Nolan got a few stares as he stood in the makeup section, reading off labels and trying to decide which brand was the best brand when to him they all looked the same. He’d watched you do your makeup hundreds of times but none of this stuff looked like the same things you had.
Nolan settled on two different types of foundations that were two different brands, three concealers, a container of setting powder and a foundation that was in powder form and not liquid form like the other two. He also found a color correcting concealer, throwing that into his basket as well.
He chose to go through the self-checkout lane, still panicky from this morning and wanting to avoid any looks from one of the checkout ladies. They were older and he was sure they didn’t know who he was, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself in case they did know.
He really hoped to still find you asleep when he got home, but when the smell of coffee filled his nose as he stepped into the apartment, he knew you were awake and moving. “Baby?” he called, footsteps soft on the wood floor, the plastic bag rustling as he walked.
He found you in the bathroom wearing one of his shirts, stood in front of the mirror. He frowned, a sigh escaping his lips. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know I would never hurt you.”
“I know, Nolan. You didn’t hurt me.”
“But, I did. Fuck. You-You had to tell me to slow down, you’ve never had to do that before,” he worried, setting the bag on the bathroom counter.
“But you didn’t hurt me,” you reassured, resting your hands against his chest. “You backed off when I told you to. And you made sure that I was okay. If you had done something seriously wrong, you know I’d tell you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just… I love you so much and I didn’t mean to take it that far last night. Just with everything going on and I kept it all bottled up, I-I’m sorry.”
“I know you are, love. But I’m okay. Promise.” You kissed his cheek softly, letting him pull you into a tight hug and hold you for a little while. “What’s in the bag?” you spoke up, turning your head to look at him.
Nolan chuckled, pulling out the different makeup items he had bought. “Just in case you needed something to cover it up with. I didn’t really know what to get, so I got a few different brands and different types of products, hopefully, it works.”
You laughed, kissing him quickly. “Thank you, baby.”
“I can make breakfast. Any requests?”
You hummed, “Pancakes?”
“Comin’ right up.”
“Can we have breakfast in bed?”
“Of course. You finish up what you need to do in here and I will be right up with pancakes.” Nolan pulled you into another hug, resting his cheek on your shoulder, his lips gliding along your neck and jaw, making you giggle at the soft and tickling feeling.
“Hey Nol!” you called after him as he left, peeking your head out the bathroom door and catching him before he made it to the kitchen.
note: this is a sequel to say that we'll be together and is set in november 2020 after Gin agrees to move to Philly.
word count: 2,056
warnings: this depicts depression. it's not glamourous but it's also not horrible, but there are descriptions of depressive episodes and conversations about them.
summary: a new city and a whole new life is even harder than she had imagined. feeling lonely doesn't always mean you're alone.
It was a lovely day outside—the sun was out, not a single cloud in the sky and there was a lovely warm breeze to combat the overnight chill that hadn’t quite left. Virginia only knew as much from the blinds and window that had been open since Nolan woke up two days earlier.
She had barely moved since he left on his short road trip. All she’d really done was use the bathroom, eat a handful of crackers, and cried to her mum on the phone—her usual activities when Nolan was away.
She was barely awake when the door to their bedroom opened, and she heard Nolan’s heavy footsteps. The major difference between that and every other road trip was that Virginia was normally able to get out of bed before he got home.
“Big night?” he asked, laughter in his voice because he was never sympathetic to a self-inflicted hangover.
Virginia tried to laugh, she really did, except the sound that came out was a sob—loud, wet, and right from her chest.
Something hit the ground with a loud thud, Virginia sobbed again, and then Nolan was underneath the covers, pressing up behind her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly. “What happened?”
Virginia didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to bring him into her emotions but when he squeezed her to assure her that he was there, she said, broken, “I’m so lonely.”
Silence consumed them, only their breathing and the outside world could be heard. Nolan wrapped her up tighter and draped his leg over hers to be certain he was holding her as close as possible.
Sobs continued to wrack Virginia’s body despite Nolan’s hold. She’d been crying so much that her entire body ached, and she felt sick to her stomach.
“Is—was this just a few bad days or--?” Nolan asked, evidently afraid of what her answer might be.
She really did not want to tell him the truth, but he deserved to know, even if it would break him, too.
“Every time.”
Somehow, Nolan managed to hold her even tighter, a breath being punched out of him. Virginia sobbed again. The world continued to move outside with some cars honking, someone yelling, Kev’s moments downstairs, but Virginia and Nolan laid in silence despite it all.
Nolan’s hand reached over to brush her hair from her face; he kissed her cheek and said, “We’ll get you a plane ticket home, okay? This weekend.”
She didn’t think it was possible but the ache in her chest worsened at the thought of getting out of bed, of leaving Nolan, of boarding a plane and leaving him for good. If she couldn’t bear him leaving for a few days, how would she survive leaving him permanently?
“You don’t want me here?” Virginia asked, her voice barely audible even to her own ears.
Nolan sighed, his breath brushing against her cheek. “I want you here, Gin, but I want you to be happy.”
“You make me happy.”
“I can’t be here every day.”
“You’re here now.”
“Yeah, I am,” he breathed, kissing the back of her head. “Do you reckon you could take a shower?”
“Will you come with me?”
Nolan’s answer was yes, and Virginia was relieved even though she truly hadn’t expected him to say anything else. Getting out of the bed was hard, just as it had been every day since he left, but it was a little easier with Nolan there to guide her.
She let herself be undressed, her limbs heavy and unhelpful. If there was less fog filling her brain, maybe she’d have been concerned that it was the least sexy she’d ever been, that Nolan had never seen her in such a state, but it didn’t matter. Nothing did.
Virginia waited, leaning against the counter, as Nolan turned on the shower and let the water warm up while he stripped out of his own clothes.
It was nice under the water, feeling days of sadness wash off of her, Nolan wrapped around her and angling them so that the water was running over her hair and body but not streaming down her face.
“I love you,” she whispered into his chest when he was running soap down her back. “I want to stay with you.”
“Whatever you want.”
Virginia was sitting on bed, her laptop on her knees, searching for any job that would possibly take her without anything but a high school diploma and experience at a tiny hardware store in Manitoba. She’d applied to every job she thought she had a shot at and was going to keep doing that until there was no job she hadn’t looked at.
The bedroom door opened, and Virginia looked up, expecting Nolan to come back upstairs with her coffee, only the person in her doorway was much shorter and much blonder.
“Hello,” Amy said cheerily. “Let’s go.”
“Go?” Virginia asked in a panic. “Go where?”
“Girls night at Ryanne’s. Attendance is sort of mandatory.”
“Uh… no,” Virginia said, her eyebrows pulling together, and settling herself further into the mattress.
Amy raised her own eyebrow, her arms crossing over her chest, “Why not?”
“I’m not going with no warning to hang out with a bunch of women I have nothing in common with.”
“How could you possibly know you have nothing in common with them when you’ve never spent time with them outside of games?”
“Because they’re not like me.”
Amy froze, one perfect eyebrow raised towards her hairline.
“If this is some Not Like The Other Girls—”
“I’m from a town with less than 300 people. I have no money and no job—”
“Virginia,” Amy said, in a way that Virginia had only ever heard from her grandmother, “I work at a zoo. I’m not even a zookeeper; I give tours to snotty elementary school kids. It’s not a great paying job.”
“Amelia—you can do that because you have a trust fund and a grandfather who tops up your bank account every month,” Virginia snapped, her own bank account figure shooting through her mind along with the stress of what to do now that it was dwindling.
“I still thought we were friends despite that,” Amy said, shocked but reserved. “You don’t have to come but you need friends and not all of them grew up like I did—I’m probably the outlier here. Some of them might even like to fish but you won’t know unless you come and talk to them.”
“Nolan said something, didn’t he?”
“Yes. This may or may not have been thrown together in half an hour after he called me this morning.”
“What do I wear?”
Amy checked out Virginia’s outfit, her yoga pants and very large #19 Flyers hoodie causing a shrug. “Literally what you’re wearing now. I’m not getting changed.”
Virginia didn’t quite buy that what she was wearing was acceptable, because Amy was at least wearing her own clothes even it was athletic attire. As she stood up, after putting her laptop aside, and pulled Nolan’s hoodie over her head—it smelt a bit ripe, anyway, so changing out of it wouldn’t hurt her.
Amy was still standing in the doorway, waiting, and watching as Virginia grabbed her shoes and put on the absolute bare minimum of makeup. She also made sure her hair looked at least semi-brushed. Any other day she would have recoiled at the thought of the other WAGs seeing her in anything less than she would wear to a game.
“I’m sorry for implying we weren’t friends. We are,” Virginia said sheepishly, standing in front of Amy.
“Call me next time you’re feeling down then, okay?” she said without any hostility. “You don’t have to be alone in this city.”
They made their way downstairs, coming across Nolan, Kev and Teeks in the kitchen laughing raucously. Virginia walked straight to Nolan, placed her hand on his upper back and then pushed it to his neck so she could tangle her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. When he looked at her, she smiled at him; it wasn’t big or showy, just something to let him know that she knew what he’d done and that she appreciated the effort he’d gone to.
Exhaustion was taking over Virginia by the time Amy drove her back home, collected Teeks and left. Kev had long since hidden away in his room, so it was just Virginia and Nolan on the couch. Nolan stretched out on the couch, Virginia settling easily on top of him her ear to his chest listening to his steady heartbeat. One of his hands settled on the back of her neck, making her feel small and safe.
“You had to get Amy involved,” she mumbled, trying not to succumb to her need for sleep. “It couldn’t have been Sofia?”
“Sofia wouldn’t have been able to bring together everyone’s wives and girlfriends—I have no clue what she and Kev are doing but she’s not sitting in the family box. What’s wrong with Amy? I thought you liked Amy.”
Virginia sighed. “I do like Amy. She’s just very persistent.”
“That’s why I called her. Would you have preferred Ryanne? Get the Captain’s wife to drag you outside?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have put up a fight and accidentally implied that we weren’t friends.”
Nolan’s chest stilled beneath her for the briefest moment before it vibrated with his low laugh. He said, incredulous and amused, “You didn’t.”
“I did, after I had a Not Like The Other Girls moment.”
“You’re not like the other girls, though.”
“Choose what you say next very carefully.”
“Because you’re mine.”
She raised her head to kiss him. It was brief and soft and there was nothing else she could have asked for. The smile it brought to his face, discrete and oh-so Nolan, brought one to hers, too.
She repositioned herself so that her chin was on his sternum, so she was talking directly to him while she recounted what had actually happened. He told her he didn’t need to know, that she was allowed to just spend time with the girls and not report back with everything, but she continued—she wanted to share stories of what she’d done with people she was beginning to think of as friends.
Her eyes widened as she remembered a particular moment, Nolan widened his back in gently mocking anticipation.
“They tried to hand me a baby,” she breathed dramatically. “Nol, there were so many babies. What if they think I’ll babysit?”
He scoffed, another laugh sneaking out, “Nobody is going to ask you to babysit.”
“You don’t know that.”
The hand that had been on the back on the back of her neck moved down her back until it was resting on her ass, a favourite place for it to just be. One of her own hands was underneath his t-shirt, pressed against the warm skin of his abs.
Nolan, still laughing, said, “I bet you flinched when they tried to hand you the baby. I know you flinched.”
“Yes—”
“Everyone has babysitters and, if they don’t have babysitters, they have Amy.”
“She’s so good with kids,” Virginia sulked. “It never looks like she’s going to hurt them.”
He patted her ass lightly, barely any pressure, and managed to shake his head. Effortlessly, his hands on her waist, he pulled her further up his body so that they were face to face. He kissed her nose and then her mouth.
“Thank you for going,” he whispered, his voice low and his breath brushing over her lips. “I didn’t know how to get you to go without just throwing Amy at you.”
“I wouldn’t have,” Virginia admitted freely. “Thank you for asking for help. I’m going to—get help. For myself. I just need you to know that it’s not you.”
It was clear that Nolan didn’t believe her, his mouth pulling in small and his eyes squeezing shut. Virginia pushed herself between him and the back of the couch so she could comfortably put her head on his shoulder and cuddle in close.
“It might be. And that’s not… bad. I just want to know how to help properly.”
“I don’t regret being here, Nol.”
Please consider leaving feedback - reblog and write in the tags or send an ask, I’m not fussed. I just want to know what you’re thinking!
note: there's also another fic that i have to rework because i fully expected Patty to end up in Seattle.
LAST NIGHT I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU - NOLAN PATRICK X READER
this started as a tyler seguin fic, was almost a brock boeser one for a second and turned out to be about Nolan lol
this was not proofread so yeah keep that in mind as you read it
Word Count: 2k
Warning: mention of alcohol (?)
Smmary: the morning after you drunkenly confessed your feelings to Nolan - slightly inspired by the song Last Night by Lucy Spraggan
Masterlist
Add yourself to the taglist!
-
Last night I told you I loved you
Woke up blamed it on the Vodka
I genuinely thought I was dyin'
And I could see that smile you were hiding
-
You woke up and the first thing you felt was pain. There was a banging in your head and your stomach felt sick. Memories from last night were blurry, there surely was alcohol involved. The last thing you remembered was walking into the bar with Nolan and TK by your side, then there was vodka involved. Or was it tequila? Maybe even both?
Feeling like the slightest move would make you throw up, you decided to snuggle further into the sheets trying to go back to sleep, hoping a couple more hours of sleep would make you feel better. That’s when you heard barks coming from outside the room, making your head pound. Then your eyes went wide when it hit you: you don’t own any dogs.
Looking around you confirmed this indeed wasn’t your bedroom, it was Nolan’s. The curtains were shut so the room was dark and you couldn’t see much, but you were able to make out your dress from last night folded on top of the armchair beside the bed.
You looked down and realized you indeed weren’t using your clothes, instead you had one of his old shirts on. Then you noticed your underwear was still on, a good sign you thought. But still you couldn’t remember anything from last night and that terrified you.
You weren't scared of what you could have done, you knew having the boys by your side ensure you nothing bad would happen. So you weren't scared that you had somehow ended up drunkenly dancing on top of a table or making out with a complete stranger. No, the problem was that alcohol always loosened your tongue. What you were scared of was having confessed something you had worked so hard on holding in.
Gathering a little courage and still feeling like you may throw up any second, you got out of bed and made your way out of the room. The clacking of a pan and smell coming from the kitchen let you know Nolan was probably there cooking some breakfast or maybe lunch, you didn’t know what time it was. Taking one last deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, you made your way down the hall to the kitchen.
He was with his back to you, too busy stirring something on a pan to realize you had entered the room. That’s when his dogs approached you excited to see you, making him turn around to find you still half asleep, hair in a messy bun, some rests of makeup from last night on your face, dressed in his shirt that were long enough to cover everything. You were sure you looked horrible but he found it cute, the smile that formed on his face showed it.
“Hey, you’re alive.” He turned off the stove and proceeded to place what turned out to be scrambled eggs on two plates.
“I feel like shit.” You took a seat on one of the barstools by the kitchen island.
“Sorry, did the bark wake you? I was keeping them in the living room so they wouldn’t bother you but Charlie sneaked out.” he said, giving the dog a stern look, but Charlie was too distracted enjoying as you petted him to notice.
“No don’t worry I was already awake, agonizing in bed, but awake.”
He placed the plate with everything he had cooked and a cup of coffee in front of you and you thanked him as he took a seat next to you. He was quiet per usual, but the Nolan you knew would have thrown some snarky remark about how much of a lightweight you are and he’s never going out with you again. That concerned you a bit. However he seemed normal, no awkward looks or anything that made you think you had messed up in any way last night.
“Do you remember anything from last night?” he suddenly said bringing you back to reality. There it was, something did happen. You could feel your heart in your throat, but you tried to play it cool.
“No… Wait we didn’t-”
“No!” he was quick to cut you off, slightly offended that you thought that could’ve happened. “You were wasted Y/N, I’d never take advantage like that.” He then realized he admitted nothing happened because you were drunk, not because he didn’t want it to happen; but you were too busy panicking to realize.
“I know, I know. It’s just that I woke up in your bed, with your clothes on.” you tried to explain.
“We ubered back here, you were asleep the whole ride, I helped you change your clothes and gave you my bed. I slept on the couch.” Relief washed over your body, deep down you knew nothing like that could have happened, but hearing it made you feel better, like a huge weight was being taken off your shoulders.
“Thank you Nols, you didn’t have to.”
“Leaving you alone in your apartment in the state you were in felt wrong.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m glad to know I didn’t do anything too stupid at the club.” you said, letting out a deep breath you didn’t even notice you had been holding on to.
“Well you didn’t do anything stupid at the club...” He didn't finish but that was enough to make you choke on the coffee you had been drinking.
“Shit what did I do?”
“Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry.” He brushed it off as he stood with his empty plate in hand and walked over to the sink.
“Nolan …” you questioned him, but he still wouldn’t look at you. Yet you could see the smile he was trying to hide and that was all the confirmation you needed. Something definitely happened. You got off your seat and made your way around the kitchen island.
“Nolan James Patrick. What did I do?” Your stern tone made him finally turn around with a look on his face you couldn’t quite explain, which only made your nerves grow.
“You said something.”
“Shit.”
“You really don't remember?” He walked till he was standing next to you. “We were here, I had already helped you change, you were in bed ...” he started to explain, hoping it would refresh your memories because he didn’t have it in him to actually tell you what you had said.
And just like that the memory from last night hit you.
~
“This sucks.” you said letting yourself fall on the bed, not even trying to position yourself correctly.
“Well you should’ve stopped after the third shot like I told you.” Nolan was too busy folding your clothes to see the way you rolled your eyes.
“Not that. This. You are being so nice with me and it sucks.”
“You lost me there princess.” he said confused, brows narrowing but with a playful smile still on his face, the way you rambled incongruently was too cute for him not to.
“Because I’m just going to fall harder for you and I shouldn’t because we’re friends Patty. I can’t be in love with my friend.” you let out matter-of-factly, clearly all products of the alcohol that was still running through your veins.
He could not believe what he was hearing. His heart stopped at your words, but he tried to convince himself he had heard it wrong, God knows the many times he dreamed of you saying those words.
“It sucks that I’m in love with you.” you added and there was no denying it, he heard it clear this time.
“Y/N …” he started to say as he turned around but words died in his mouth when he realized you were already asleep.
~
“Shit!” you let out and your hands instantly went to cover your face. You had screwed it big time. Sure you could blame it on the alcohol but Nolan knew you, he knew you wouldn’t just invent something like that. And even if it worked, your friendship would never be like it was before.
“Just forget I ever said that, okay? I was drunk and I didnt know what I was saying. Fuck. I'm the worst'' you started to ramble as you walked around the kitchen, unable to keep still because of the anxious feeling deep in your chest. It felt like your world was spinning out of control and all you could think about was all you had lost the moment alcohol got the best of you and you confessed your feelings.
All of a sudden Nolan was standing in front of you, placing his hands on your sides to stop your pacing. You couldn’t look him in the face, knowing the moment he saw you he’d realized how much you meant everything you said last night.
“Hey calm down” He started caressing your arms gently up and down in a reassuring manner.
“I'm so sorry.” you said, tears threatening to fall down your face any moment.
“Well I'm not.” he replied with a humorous tone that threw you off. You shoot your head up at him with a confused expression that only intensified once you realized he was smiling sheepishly at you.
“I’m actually really glad that happened because now I don’t have to worry about how you may react when I tell you how I feel about you.”
“I think the alcohol killed all my brain cells because I don’t understand a thing you're saying.”
Nolan rolled his eyes at your comment but couldn’t hide the smile on this face. His hands went to cup your face, pulling you closer to him as he wiped away gently with his thumb a few tears that you hadn’t been able to keep in.
“What I’m trying to say is: I love you too.” he said looking into your eyes tenderly.
“I swear if TK comes out of nowhere holding a camera or something I’m murdering both of you-”
“I’m not joking! I love you Y/N. I have for the longest time and I’m a little embarrassed it took you drunkenly confessing how you feel for me to have the balls to say it.” Nolan’s cheeks turned red and you had to bite your lip to not make a comment about it. His eyes full of adoration never left yours, making you feel the all too familiar butterflies, but this time it didn’t feel wrong. This time you didn’t have to hide it or push it away. No, because this time you knew he felt the same.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly and all you could do was nod. He started to lean in, heart beating fast in his chest just like yours.
“Wait.” you said, stopping him when he was less than an inch away from connecting your lips. He pulled away to look down at you confused, hands still resting against your cheeks. “I haven't washed my teeth.” He let out a chuckle.
“I couldn't care less.” he said, leaning down to finally kiss you.
It started sweet and gently, neither of you could believe it was happening, too scared any second you’d wake up and realize it was all a dream. That was until your hands met on the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and bringing him closer, deepening the kiss. His hands left your face and moved down your back, pressing you against him as much as possible, clutching to you in any way possible. The kiss intensified with the second and you could not stop, you had been craving each other for so long it felt almost intoxicating to finally know what the other’s lips felt like.
-
thank you for reading, hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!
