#nonbinarysparatus

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

i’m having way too much fun with this propoganda thing

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

me1 squad for the character thing

wheeeeeeeee

tasha quill

do I like them: hell fucking yeah i love the character but i’m not so fond of how the fandom p much babies her

5 good qualities: loyal, well-read and eloquent, tough, snarky, stubborn as hell

3 bad qualities: racist, rude and disrespectful when things don’t go her way, stubborn

favourite episode/etc: i love listening to her talk about her family... she loves them so much..........

otp: ash/happiness please just let her be happy (also ash/shep is adorable and i love it)

brotp: tali and ash make such good friends i love

ot3: platonic ash/kaidan/shep

notp: i saw a few things pairing ash and kaidan and idk i just really don’t like it

best quote: “why is it whenever someone says, ‘with all due respect,’ they really mean ‘kiss my ass?’”

headcanon: she can’t cook for shit but that doesn’t stop her from trying. vega has repeatedly had to forcibly extract her from the mess and rescue the poor ingredients she was using from their fiery doom.

kidman allengo

do I like them: no strong feelings either way except when the fandom’s involved

5 good qualities: kindhearted, gentle, diplomatic, can apparently cook, voiced by the same guy who did carth onasi and scorch

3 bad qualities: shallow personality, generic appearance, just generally not very well-written as a character that’s supposed to grow with the series

favourite episode/etc: the whole story abt rahna eternally tears my heart out

otp: let this poor man be with rahna he’s learned his lesson

brotp: [idk noises]

ot3: platonic ash/kaidan/shep

notp: shenko. it feels too forced on the player. if they’d written it as being more natural, i’d be fine with it, but as it stands, it’s skeevy and reminds me a whole hecka lot of the Nice Guy relationships

best quote: “well, we have beef. we have bacon. we have beer. foods of my people.”

headcanon: shortly after eden prime he managed to stub his toe on the elevator door so hard he broke it and a few others. obviously, he was too embarrassed to seek medical attention for it, mostly bc joker exists. no one found out until chakwas did his regular physical. garrus and wrex both had to have a long explanation from chakwas shortly after abt how he could walk around with three broken toes for two weeks without screaming the fucking sky apart.

liar t’sandwich

do I like them: she is smol and i love her

5 good qualities: brilliant, empathetic, adaptable af, an incredibly good friend overall, loyal to a fault

3 bad qualities: impulsive, tends to follow her emotions instead of her head, seems to have a really hard time handling bad situations bc she refuses to let herself be deterred rather than showing emotion and seeking help or an ear

favourite episode/etc: the whole lotsb dlc lmao i love her so much throughout that whole thing

otp: tossup between t’sovik and liara/feron tbh

brotp: i feel like she and traynor are really, really good friends.

ot3: platonic liara/garrus/tali man they’re adorable and i love them

notp: ??? i dunno, i’m not particularly fond of her romance with shep but it’s not quite notp status

best quote: “IT’S A TAXI, IT HAS A FARE METER!”

headcanon: she’s bpd and autistic fight me

urgent wrecker

do I like them: he’s like the big head-butting uncle i never had

5 good qualities: hilariously deadpan, gr8 sense of snark- i mean humor, surprisingly diplomatic and world-weary for a krogan, comes across like an old man trying to fit in with the kids

3 bad qualities: kinda moody, (in me1) resigned and apathetic, seems to kinda live in the past

favourite episode/etc: two words: krogan airdrop.

otp: idk man lmao

brotp: i feel like he’d get along well with javik

ot3: wrex + shepard + tali = hilarity ensues

notp: gonna be completely honest i can’t see him with anyone so

best quote: “UNCLE URDNOT IS BACK, AND HE BROUGHT THE BOOM”

headcanon: that asari he fought on the space station was aria. he knows it was aria. she knows he knows. it’s a mutual secret.

garbus vasectomy

do I like them: fucking hell yeah

5 good qualities: gr9 sense of humor, aces with a sniper, adorkable, adorably awkward, and a total fucking boy scout

3 bad qualities: impulsive, hotheaded, and disrespectful of authority

favourite episode/etc: the ‘date’ on the citadel, especially beforehand if you teasingly suggest attending a hanar poetry reading.

otp: shakarian ftw.

brotp: vega and garrus man... vega and garrus.

ot3: shakarizorah

notp: talibrations......... idk it just skeeves me out

best quote: [something blows up/people start shooting at them/somehow everything goes to hell in a handbasket] “JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, EH, SHEPARD?”

headcanon: during basic training, he took a dare from someone to climb a building blindfolded, got halfway up, crashed into an awning, and came down on a diplomat’s skycar, breaking the windshield with his face. the diplomat was too busy fussing over his well-being to be angry about it. he still has the vid his mates took on his omni-tool and watches it from time to time when he needs cheering up.

tail’zulu

do I like them: hell fucking YES

5 good qualities: bold, absolutely brilliant, , sassy, snarky, and absolutely adorable when she’s drunk

3 bad qualities: really, really fucking ableist. also stubborn as a mule and rude as hell when she isn’t getting her way/doesn’t like the person she’s talking to/about, authority figure or no.

favourite episode/etc: her romance... im honestly so tempted to run a new me2 file and mod it specifically so i can smooch her. bc i love her. so much. so, so much.

otp: [chants] KALI KALI KALI KALI KALI

brotp: [idknoises] tali and garrus are adorable as friends man

ot3: shakarizorah

notp: why do people pair her with any of the admirals. or wrex. WHY WREX. PLEASE DO NOT. also talibrations.

best quote: “omni-tat, omni-too... ommmmni-toooooooo”

headcanon: her accent got a lot heavier from me1 to me2 bc she developed a crush on shep, was determined to eventually smooch them, and, bc that would require going without translation tech probably, forced herself to learn to speak basic over the course of about two months. she still can’t read it, but she can speak it perfectly great, and she’s very proud of that.

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

6 thru 18 for satan :3c

i gotta wonder how many people we weird out with lativerse. i honestly wonder.

IC Interaction Questions

6: What is your OC’s family situation? Do they get along? Do they fight? Or are they alone?

being a former angel, he doesn’t have an actual “family” persay, beyond his mate lilith/amani, the seven, and the other protos.

so far as the protos go, honestly he spends more time fighting with them than anything else bc they don’t like having to listen to him even though they know he’s the one in charge. same goes for the seven. lil and amani, at least, are a bit more willing to talk to him lmao considering mates and all that so at least he has that much going for him

7: What does your OC look for in a friend? Do they value friendship a lot?

yeah honestly i have no idea lmao

8: What does your OC look for in a significant other? Are they looking at all?

honestly he was attracted to lil bc she was a strong woman with intelligence and an air about her that demands respect and after all the bullshit he watched her go through with adam he wanted to make sure she knew she deserved better

so lmao does that explain anything

9: What is your OC like when at work? Are they diligent? Slacker? Do they get along with their co-workers?

workafuckinholic lmao........... he doesn’t get along with people who don’t wanna listen to him either lmao so that’s fun to work around

10: How do they deal with strangers?

with a great deal of caution and his powers at the ready, just in case

Inside the Muse’s Mind Questions

11: Is there a place they go to in order to escape the world, the stresses of life? What’s their favourite place?

i figure he really likes lust’s gardens. smth abt the flowers reminds him of better times, before everything literally went to hell in a handbasket. helps that lujeta’s more than happy to make everything bloom around him to help him relax

12: What scent calms them? Reminds them of home or something soothing?

honestly he tries to avoid anything that reminds him of home lmao he didn’t leave it on the best of terms

but he’s fond of mint teas and the smell of wildflowers. reminds him a lot of the times before, of things he can no longer have.

13: Do they have any favourite foods? Would they eat it all the time if they had the chance? What do they hate to eat?

i figure he’s a massive fan of pasta lmao but he wouldn’t eat it all the time bc even he knows better than to make himself sick of a good thing (and lbr i figure he likes just about anything from gluttony which makes it a hell of a lot easier on poor beel when he has that compulsion to bring everyone’s favorite snacks out bc he can just bring satan literally anything and he’ll be happy)

as for what he hates to eat

well

the devil is not a fan of broccoli, hilariously enough. nor dark chocolate. chocolate is one of the many things in life that doesn’t need a dark side.

14: Pet peeves. Tell us what would really tick them off. Do they have a Berserk Button?

it would be faster if i listed off what doesn’t piss him off

15: Does your OC have any awful fears? Do they get paralyzed with fear or can they work through their fears?

he has a crippling fear of loneliness and inadequacy, compounded by the fact that literally all of hell (and half of the mortal realm) depends on him to keep it functioning properly. being the devil’s taught him to work through it, at the very least.

also living with lilith. she kicked his ass whenever he got too shaky abt things and amani continues the tradition. it helps a lot.

16: What are concepts they value? Virtues? What do they look down upon?

honesty, loyalty, a good work ethic, confidence... honestly the list could go on lmao

just about the only thing he can’t stand is condescension and pompousness. those are a one way ticket to an eternity in purgatory if you’re bad enough lmao

17: Do they have any guilty pleasures? They embarrassed about them? Do they flaunt them?

some of lil’s kinkiness rubbed off on him. he was mortified when lilith (and again when amani) found out.

18: Do they have a guilty conscience? Why? Did they ever do something they totally regretted?

if he hadn’t challenged god there’s a very good chance none of the whole “holy civil war” thing would have happened. he’s not so much guilty abt it as aware of the fact, though.

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

e7 for halwn and/or a3 for gerrel

i am a serious artist who draws serious things

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

4 for sia, 11 for axeltheo, and 21 for satan/lilith :3c

all my children

4. A Drunken KissHow Son'Todor had been roped into playing a game of Spin the Bottle was at the time and forever would be a mystery for the ages, because he was definitely not a party sort of person.

And yet, somehow, he still wound up parked in a circle with a couple of Gerrel’s marines, Han'Gerrel himself, and Xala on one side, and Lia, Saar'Zaemin, a comms specialist named Ashalla'Shalen, and a few other assorted people on the other, with an empty bottle of ryncol sitting at the center.

Gerrel, who was probably the one the bottle belonged to, had happily chirped, once everyone had arrived, that they were playing a game of Adult Spin the Bottle, which, no, wasn’t fucking whoever the bottle landed on, Lia, for fuck’s sake, you’re supposed to take a shot if the bottle skips you. And thanks to the number of people involved, they’d decided it would be better to bring in some of the really strong liquors, “to spice things up a little” according to Gerrel. And instead of pouring shots for everyone at the end of each turn, he’d just given everyone a bottle and told them to do it themselves, “at their discretion.”

Whatever that meant.

All Todor knew was, his head was swimming by the third turn.

He put his head in his hands as Gerrel flopped across the circle to lay a big, wet smooch on Zaemin’s cheek to a chorus of laughter, presumably at Zaemin’s face afterwards. Beside him, Lia couldn’t seem to stop laughing, even though she was only on her second shot.

As Gerrel unceremoniously fell back into his place, the bottle was passed around for another turn and another round of noise erupted from the assembled group, all of whom seemed to be getting either lightheaded or a little more than tipsy by then. Xala had his head in Gerrel’s lap, while Ashalla was slumped against Zaemin’s shoulder, eyes half-lidded and a dopey smile on her face.

Todor, meanwhile, tried to keep his head down and filled his shots as little as he could. He knew he had a shit alcohol tolerance in the first place, but this was just ridiculous. The hell had they given him? Blackstar?

He was just beginning to contemplate checking his bottle and seeing if he could comprehend the label when Gerrel suddenly called his name, jolting him out of his stupor.

Gerrel was grinning. “Your turn, Sonny boy!”

Todor blinked slowly, the words processing slow as molasses. “… huh?”

Gerrel snorted, kicking the bottle over to him. It bounced off his knee and his hand arrived to intercept it a second later. “I said, your turn!”

“I… oh.”

He took a deep breath, then grabbed the end of the bottle and tried to spin it, though the motion honestly just served to make him feel ill. He didn’t even get a chance to register who it had landed on before Lia had grabbed him by the belt securing one of his pauldrons and twirled him around, smooching him hard.

He flinched at the feeling of their teeth clanking together, the alcohol making it difficult to judge distances and stop movements appropriately, then just sort of… melted as Lia wrapped her arms around him and dipped him, the kiss moving from a drunken smooch into something he honestly felt a little embarrassed having people watch.

Or, very embarrassed, he decided when someone (probably Gerrel) whistled. His cheeks burned.

Lia didn’t seem to mind. She held the kiss for a moment or two, eyelashes fluttering, then suddenly let him go, sending him crashing unceremoniously to the ground. The circle burst into laughter.

Todor didn’t bother getting up. Couldn’t see a point to it, considering his options were to either get up and continue getting drunk out of his mind or stay where he was and take a nice, refreshing nap. He just closed his eyes, listened to the sound of his friends and almost-family joking around about his wife’s eagerness for a kiss, and dozed.

-11. A Morning KissTheo was not a morning person. Not in any sense of the word.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from waking up at the asscrack of dawn to start doing his thing, but it was still true. He wasn’t a morning person, and like any other non-morning person, he required coffee to wake up properly and start functioning like a normal human being.

Granted, being who he was, “normal” was probably a bit of a stretch.

One morning, like any other, he woke up at 5 in the morning, loafed around for a couple minutes while his body tried to convince his brain to go back to bed, then took a hot shower like he usually did. Then he got out, brushed his teeth, did his hair, and dressed, just like he did every other morning.

Then he went downstairs and the routine prematurely ended.

He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, blinking blearily as his brain tried to process the smells that currently filled the little room. For once, he wished he’d grabbed his glasses, because it was taking more focus than he had available to focus on the blurs of color in front of him and figure out just what the hell was happening.

“Morning,” Axel chirped from in front of the stove, dreads pulled back into a ponytail for once instead of loosely drifting around and getting into everything like usual. “Hungry?”

Theo blinked slowly, his brain taking a few minutes to process what Axel had said to him. “What?”

“Do you want food?” Axel repeated, sounding amused.

“… coffee.”

“Coffee ain’t food, Thee.” But Axel put down whatever utensil he was using with the stove and picked up Theo’s usual mug from the countertop beside him, cheerfully handing it over. “But yeah, here. Fixed it the way you like and everything. Uh, I think. You do like six lumps of sugar, right?”

Theo stared at him for a moment, and Axel forced a laugh. “That… that was a joke, Thee.”

“… huh.”

Axel rolled his eyes, muttering something about Scandanavians and their weird obsession with coffee, then leaned over and, before Theo’s mug could reach his lips, gave him a big, wet goober of a kiss. Theo, naturally, recoiled, and Axel laughed. “I said good morning, by the way.”

Theo scowled at him. “You’re an asshole.”

“An asshole who’s making you eggs.” Axel beamed and turned back to the stove. “You’re welcome.”

-21. A Promise (casaverse)He woke up to Lily screaming.

Breath catching in his throat, Halwn sat bolt upright, nearly falling over himself in his rush to run to her room and shake her awake.

She kept screaming, hands tangled in the rough sheets beneath her, back arched and head thrown back. Her legs quivered like she wanted to kick but couldn’t, and tears ran freely down her cheeks.

“Fuck,” Halwn cursed to himself. Then he reached for her, saying her name.

The first syllable hadn’t even made it out of his mouth before Lily had suddenly released her deathgrip on the sheets and wrapped around his body, face buried in his chest and arms locked behind him. The screaming turned suddenly into sobbing, leaving Halwn bewildered. She didn’t even seem to care that she was hanging half-off her cot, or maybe she didn’t notice. Either way…

He’d never seen her acting this way before. Liliane Malach did not show weakness.

“I… it’s- it’s okay, I’m here…” He carefully wrapped his arms around her, noticing again just how small and fragile she was in comparison to him, and moved to kneel beside her cot. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here…”

He kept comforting her for a few minutes, running his fingers through her hair and gently rubbing her back with the other hand like he knew she liked, until the sobs had subsided into dry heaves and whimpers and her full-body trembling had mostly faded. His legs were going numb from the odd position he was kneeling in, but that was a secondary concern.

Once she’d calmed down, Halwn gently asked, “What happened?” and she fell apart again.

Over the next couple minutes, he managed to pry from her that it had been a nightmare. About what, she wouldn’t tell him the exact details, but she would say it involved Adam and the relationship she’d had with him before his… erm. Untimely demise. From what he could gather, it wasn’t good.

He listened quietly, continuing to run his fingers through her hair as she hiccupped and whimpered her way through the story, then tilted his head down to rest his chin on the top of her head. “It’s okay, Lily, it was just a dream…”

Lily sniffled. “I know, but…”

She buried her face in his chest again, and he ruffled her hair. “I know, I know. It’ll be okay.”

She sniffled again, and Halwn lowered his hands to hug her tightly. “Listen, Lily. I know what Adam did to you was awful, okay? I don’t need to know the details, you don’t need to relive it- but I know it was awful. I know he was awful. And I want to promise you something, okay?”

He leaned back just enough to tilt her head up so their eyes met as he said, “I promise you, Lily, I won’t let anything like that happen to you ever again.”

She made an odd sort of noise.

He touched his forehead to hers, having to crane his neck at an odd angle but ignoring the discomfort. “I promise.”

And then he held her as she cried again.

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

all the primes (both sfw and nsfw) for umlaut halily :3c

i just did all of them bc why not. :3c

SFW

1. Who cooks?

they tend to trade out depending on who’s in the mood and what they feel like cooking. lily’s better at more exotic dishes, while halwn’s a lot better at things that require either a grill, a smoker, or just shoving something in the oven.

2. Who’s the messiest? The cleanest?

halwn. lily never cleans.

3. Who fixes the vehicle after a breakdown?

usually halwn, on the rare occasion they’re in a vehicle. normally they like teleporting. much better for the environment, plus it looks badass. you can’t lose with it.

4. Living space has a leak! Who fixes it?

halwn again. he tends to be the handyman lmao... not bc lily’s a woman and he’s The Man of the House, mind you, it’s just bc he’s the one who knows most of the practical magic

5. Who buys the groceries?

again, typically halwn, mostly bc lily gets bored and winds up buying a whole load of weird useless shit just for funsies.

6. Going out to eat: Who pays? Who orders the most food? And who has dessert?

halwn usually pays, meanwhile lily is the one who orders a full five-course meal complete with dessert and then complains bc it wasn’t filling enough for her

7. Would they go to the beach?

hecks yes lily loves the beach and halwn likes taking the dogs out and letting them just run wid for a few hours

8. Who knows how to swim? Who doesn’t?

there has been more than one occasion in which lily has had to help halwn make it back to shore. there’s a reason he tends to stay on the sidelines now whenever they go somewhere to swim.

9. Is someone multilingual? Do they try to teach another language to the other? How does it go?

halwn knows a bunch of ancient dialects but he doesn’t really bother teaching lily it until they get otto. then he decides it’d be nice for everyone to be able to speak his dialect to him and teaches them all the bare basics at the very least.

10. Any pets? Or plants?

they have four dogs, two dragons, a bunch of other assorted nordic and otherwise mythic creatures, and a living crystal amalgamate.

11. Baths or showers? Together or separate? Any bubbles or bubble fights?

halwn generally takes showers, while lily likes baths. that doesn’t stop them from showering together or sharing a bubble bath when they feel like it though, usually as a precursor to sex.

12. Can they stand silence? Who talks the most? Who talks the least?

halwn likes the quiet, while lily really, really likes talking and generally just being really noisy. it’s an endearing trait of hers.

13. Who stays up late? Who sleeps the most? Does the other have to force them to sleep/wake up?

halwn likes to stay up reading or working spells, but he wakes up early and easy. lily, meanwhile, could literally sleep the whole day away if halwn didn’t force her to get up.

14. Who is the highest maintenance? Does the other mind?

lily is very high maintenance. halwn doesn’t mind so much. he used to, but by now he’s used to her so it doesn’t bother him anymore.

15. Vacation ideas: who decides them? Where would they go, if anywhere?

typically lily likes choosing them but on occasion halwn will have a good idea and they’ll go there. i figure they mostly go to scenic places like italy and lyon and such. when they can, at least.

NSFW

1. How often do they have sex, if at all?

fairly often, probably 5-6 times per week, sometimes more if lily’s feeling it or less if halwn’s having a bad week.

2. Who brings ideas? Who initiates?

lily. always lily.

3. Any kinks they clash on?

halwn’s a lot more vanilla than lily so they can sometimes clash a bit when lily wants to do the more adventurous stuff and halwn’s being iffy

4. Oddest place they’d have sex?

they’ve done it in the bathroom before. shower, too. and the hot tub.

5. Favourite positions?

lily really, really likes riding halwn. like,a  lot.

6. Dom/top? Sub/bottom? Any switches?

they switch top/bottom fairly often but lily tends to dom

7. Genital headcanons?

lily has a piercing down there. halwn does not want to know what it felt like.

8. Favourite erogenous zones?

halwn’s sensitive around the nipnops. lily’s sensitive fucking everhwere but especially loves lower body touching.

9. Quickest turn ons? Immediate turn offs?

halwn hates getting wet, meanwhile lily has literally no turnoffs ever. they both love dirty talk, and halwn has admittedly gotten mega turned on by lily acting all dominant with him before they start doing the do. lily, meanwhile, likes halwn’s stubble.

10. First to orgasm? Last to orgasm? Who comes the most? Does someone ever end up unfinished?

first is always lily, and halwn enjoys pushing her to as many as he can before he goes too. lily makes sure he never goes unsatisfied, be it by using her v or using her mouth, but she always makes sure he finishes too

11. Favourite romantic gestures during sex/orgasm?

halwn likes to kiss the corners of lily’s eyes and run his hands along her arms. lily likes to play with halwn’s hair.

12. How are their afterglows?

they both get really touchy-feely and affectionate, to their mutual delight.

13. Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

lily delights in trying to get halwn to be as loud as she is.

14. Lights on or off? Do they look at each other? Or is someone embarrassed?

halwn likes it with the lights off, mostly bc he thinks it adds to the sensualness n whatever. lily’s good with whatever lmao

15. Open or closed relationship? Do they sometimes share?

mostly closed. lily might sleep around on occasion, but she and halwn both know it’s not for anything but the sex.

[admiralvasqwibqwib]

it technically doesn't count as a series yet but umlaut and/or casa

COMMENCE EXCESSIVE BACKPATTING

casa

Favorite character

this is probably obvious but seth lmao

Second favorite character

uhhHHHhhmmm probably abaddon ngl i love him

Least favorite character

how could i have a least favorite what is wrong with you

The character I’m most like

probably beel,,,,,,,,,

Favorite pairing

[idk noises] axel and theo are fucking adorable in cas

Least favorite pairing

IS THERE EVEN A PAIRING WE DON’T LIKE IN HERoh wait yeah there is adam/lily by far

Favorite moment

i hear the part where they [SPOILER REDACTED] was pretty good

Rating out of 10

what do u think

7/10 duh

umlaut

Favorite character

OTTO’S A LIVING FUCKING CRYSTAL AMALGAMATE FROM BEFORE TIME EVEN BEGAN THAT’S THE MOST METAL THING EVER

Second favorite character

probably dallin bc dal’s adorable in every ‘verse where he exists instead of luci

Least favorite character

it’s a tie between ciaren and ciaren i just can’t choose

The character I’m most like

like otto, i, too, respond to unwanted intrusions into my bedroom by hurling explosive chunks of crystal at the speed of light into the offender’s eye socket or until yelled at by my parental figures to stop trying to kill the guests

Favorite pairing

halwn and lily have one of the most ridiculous relationships ever and it delights me

Least favorite pairing

anything which does not involve ciaren’s face and the floor/wall/heel of someone’s boot

Favorite moment

the elder dragon. ‘nuff said.

Rating out of 10

2/10 needs more dreg