#none reblobs

[osmanthusoolong]

I was talking with a friend earlier about how I experience things, and suddenly had a realization that has absolutely made my world shift to the side abruptly. I mean I knew, intellectually, that there are people who don’t suffer from chronic pain conditions and the like, but people generally aren’t in at least some pain at all times? Not even just a little bit? I’m aware this sounds simple, and obviously I’ve seen those pain scales and the like, but it never actually sunk in that zero actually means no pain, and not “basically white noise”. Zero zero? Like I’m feeling legitimately rocked about this, this is probably how that very Christian acquaintance felt when I violated the prime directive and said that not everyone is actually attracted to all genders. Like I’m not pretending to be cute or clever here, people don’t just have a constant buzz of at least some pain, I thought people just like ignored it better because there was less.

Zero? What the fuck?

[osmanthusoolong]

My skin has decided to go all the way ape shitt lately, and I got prescribed the stuff that I was when I was an itchy, miserable kid. I’m unsure if the smell is a weird kind of nostalgia, mildly triggering or some combination of the two in an excessively literal meaning of the roots of the word.

[osmanthusoolong]

Hello, complete stranger. I noticed the quick post you made while having breakfast or in the bathroom or whatever about a mild personal annoyance that you wrote for an audience of yourself and your mutuals. Don’t you think your post would have been better if you wrote it about my particular personal concern/as a tutorial for people who I’ve decided need education/wrote it instead about this entirely opposite thing???? It’s very irresponsible that you didn’t do this, please consider my demands.

Yours,

Some Absolute Bozo You Didn’t Ask

[osmanthusoolong]

Yes, I posted the other version two days ago

[osmanthusoolong]

So when I was a little kid, and pogs were It, I was like, pretty okay at it. But there was a kid who was really really good at it, and he used to bully younger kids into playing for keeps. For whatever reason, I really got bothered about this, and instead of immediately forgetting about that guy, I got a plan. I spent all weekend playing pog with my dad, getting ready good. So soon enough, some lunch, I ask the guy if he’d play me. Only for keeps, he said. Fine.

Shortly thereafter, he was crying and I’d won, and taken his pogs back to play with my friends. He didn’t bug little kids after that. And, most important to little me, he’d lost terribly.

What I’m saying is that I’m the actual pogchamp.

(I know this sounds fake, but there was no cheering crowd or anything, and unfortunately my life is only ever very nothing or fake sounding)

[osmanthusoolong]

My only thoughts on the (eternal, unceasing), gifted kid discourse:

I was embarrassingly old before I learned that gifted programs were like, a real thing that existed in any but the richest private schools and on tv. I’m from a place where that was not a thing! All the kids, regardless of ability to succeed at tests, were in the same classes up to high school (10-12th grade, I’m old). Everyone went to schools which were shockingly broke! The gifted kids enjoyed the same falling apart textbooks and asbestos as everyone else. High school just had three levels of math/English/science, but that still sounds very different from what people describe. (Also: you had music? Art? Lol, cannot relate.) And there was just the one high school in my hometown until 11th grade, so nobody was going to academic stream schools or whatever, and the other school was identical, it opened due to overcrowding. (There was a francophone school, but that was k-12 and its own fucked up bubble.) Being labeled “gifted” just meant “you’re good at schoolwork, and will receive no assistance, with the presumption that failure is laziness, just like other kids”. There was a definite issue of class regarding French immersion, though, which deserves its own separate and lengthy post. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, beyond finding the entire subject unimaginably weird.

[osmanthusoolong]

I’m incredibly healthy and well-adjusted, you can tell because when I’m reminded of a traumatic and extremely fucked up incident from my childhood, I’m latching on with an iron grip to being aghast at how incredibly, astonishingly tacky and tasteless it was. Well I’m definitely not touching the rest!

[osmanthusoolong]