ignore the fact it's been like 2 weeks since i got these
EDIT: I spent more than 2 hours on this
Jesus fuck this is a lot
1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
First time I watched my favorite movie...I have several, so I'll pick two.
Movie A was Rock of Ages. It was a WONDERFUL movie, I loved it SO much. My mother and I went to see it at the [city name redacted] Cinema Grille, and she laughed at me because I sang under my breath (or i thought it was anyway) the entire movie and FAILED like 64738 times because a lot of the songs are mashups - so I'd sing the next lyrics of one song but it would switch to the other song and...yeah.Afterwards she told me I had the attitude and sass and she could see me being a pole dancer. I almost died laughing.
Movie B was Les Mis, and I saw it with the ever lovely Maddie darling. She'd already seen it several times, and we watched it at her house at like 2 in the morning all wrapped up in blankets. I was so sad at the end (JAVERT MAH BBY NOOOO) and we both I ended up sobbing like...well, like someone had died...and we held onto each other as I turned into a pile of mush.It was really sweet.
3:Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
There's three people, so I'll pick one.He is everything I want to be. Kind, sensitive, caring, hard-working, sarcastic, motivated, imaginative, funny, intelligent, confident. I have yet to find anything I don't like about him. Everything about us connected, from his dominant nature to my submissive one. The yang to my yin, the angel to my sin.That's exactly the reason I don't really talk to him. Being around people who are too good...I end up feeling inferior. People without flaws are difficult to deal with, even when they try to show you the good parts of yourself.
5:Talk about the best birthday you've had.
This ended up being the shittiest birthday, but the BEST birthday party.My friends and I - Shelby, Maddie, and Gabi - went to a soda shop where they had 200+ diff kinds of soda and a lot of other trinkety sorts of things. We then went to The Magic Time Machine, stalked people and got their autographs, and were generally huge dorks.I still have the fuzzy pink mustaches on my wall.
7:Talk about your biggest insecurity.
Probably my eyebrows. I don't really think about it unless I'm looking in the mirror, but they bug me. I've never had them plucked/waxed/etc even though I'm 15 (can't stand pain) and they're kinda bushy and not even.
9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
My freckles are super cute and so is the color of my eyes. I also like how thin my wrists are, because while it's a bitch to wear bracelets (I can't stand them moving around), it's easy to wrap my fingers around it when I need something to ground me and/or a sensation to focus on.
11:Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
I don't really dream. I have woken up with very happy feelings, but no dreams I can recall.
13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Respectfully skipping this one.
15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.
Curled up behind Maddie while she was asleep not a creeper I swear on one of our too-infrequent sleepovers after watching Les Mis (which was insane catharsis) and then getting to watch her wake up.
She's both the best friend I've ever had and such a cutie.
17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
I really want to be friends with Carly don't-know-her-last-name in my theatre class because she's really nice and an AMAZING actress but alas I am kind of shy and she is gorgeous and though friendly she doesn't really reach out to me.Also rumor mill has it she has some apparently not so hidden issues, and I can't handle being close and personal with someone new with issues rn.
19:Talk about something that happened in middle school.
Year between 7th grade and 8th grade, we moved.It wasn't far - from [city redacted] to [city redacted][note; distance mentioned is about 30 minutes drive and in the same state and metropolis] but I'd had a huge falling out with all of my friends before I left.
I started my 8th grade year at a new school with no friends and no knowledge of how to make them - the last time I'd moved was before my first birthday, and very few new students came into my old school. The only person I'd met who went to my new school I disliked, as she was kind of a bitch and loved Justin Bieber.
I (somehow, though some mix of witchcraft, nervousness, and sheer luck) managed to make some of the best friends I've ever had. Maddie was my first friend, though admittedly not the closest for awhile. Shelby came after than, then Jenna and Taylor, Joanna, Amy, Ben, Nora, Collin, Colby...
The ones I'm still really close to are Shelby and Maddie. Gabi, lovely talented dear, gets a mention here even though I didn't meet her until high school.
TL;DR - I started my 8th grade year at a new school with no friends and no knowledge of how to make them, yet ended up with the bestest people ever. Go me!
21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
It's not unusual, actually. Maybe once every two months I get asked out?Why, I still have yet to figure out. Yes, objectively (and at the moment subjectively, I'm feeling good) I am intelligent, sassy, sarcastic, and cute. I'm geeky and like listening to you ramble about that thing you love, whether I love it too or not. I'm affectionate and playful.
However, all of those traits but those underlined are not things people would normally know unless you're a very close friend (and i only have two guy friends who fall in that category). And those traits are not exactly uncommon! Example, people like Shelby and Maddie and Gabi are rarely, if ever, asked out. Maddie I can understand why not simply because she's home-schooled, and therefore has not as much interaction with other kids her age, but the people around Shelby and Gabi have no excuse!
Anyway, back to original topic: um, last time was...last week? No, two weeks ago. As I my friend's car pulled up after school, one of my newer friends..."Wait! Um, hey, um...would you...would you ever be interested in, y'know...goingoutsometime?""Oh - oh, I'm sorry, [name redacted]. I'm really not interested - I don't plan to date until college. *picks up bag* Thank you though, I am flattered!""Wait, why don't you want to date?" (curious, not defensive or aggressive tone)*shrugs* "Last three relationships didn't end well; I'm done for awhile. Now really, I've got to go, my friend is waiting. See ya!"
It wasn't bad at all. Slightly awkward for the next few days, but it's cool now.
TL;DR - friend asked me out, respectfully declined. No conflict, petty or otherwise.
Her name is Daniella, and she was a doll when she wanted to be. Poor girl - she was fairly smart, but in a school of only GT students and Asian kids with parents that thought B's were the worst ever, fairly smart doesn't amount to much. Her mom pushed her way too hard.
She was a fantastic dancer, and had a talent for the spotlight. She was excitable, easy to get along with, a good listener and leader, and adaptable.
She lied a lot, though. She always had to be the center of attention. But she did help people, in her stilted way.
27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
her butt Her face. It's so expressive, and even when she's being sarcastic or disapproving I can see the amusement on it.
Her hair, too. She cut it short and it was SO cute, then she grew it out a little and it was STILL cute. It's not fair.
29:Talk about what turns you on.
[no in-depth explanation] owo um...bondage, a lot. mostly in the holding wrists way, though I would need a partner I trusted explicitly to do anymore than that.
probably some painplay too, but again, I would need a VERY trusted partner.
31:Talk about what you think death is like.
I can't decide if it's nothing, or an eternity living inside your own mind.
I think I do believe in some kind of god. Not the kind I was raised with, but something. Usually in the way of a god that can watch but not interfere, and cares for people's souls after they die. They either send the souls back to Earth/other planet in a different body, or create a pocket world for them to live in for awhile.
33:Talk about what you do when you are sad.
Hide it. Cry. Fight against hurting myself (thankfully, I haven't lost that fight in a long time.) Rant about it if I'm angry-sad. Listen to music, either my sad songs or happy playlist. Recently it's been the happy one, because I'd rather cheer up than be sad, which is nice.
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
Delaying/not responding to people. I have a very bad habit of feeling antisocial and then delaying weeks before answering them, or just never answering them at all.
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
I already have.
39:Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
Doing this 'advice to past self' style:
1) You do NOT need that much soda. Don't you dare get addicted.
2) "Just to try and understand" will NOT end well.
3) Don't cut into that one again. It won't damage you any more or less than it would 5 millimeters over, but it'll ruin the effect you love so much.
4) Don't get attached to boys or girls romantically. Especially to that one. He cannot fix you and you cannot fix him. He will rip your heart slowly if you try, he will try to morph it into what he wants, he will never understand nor does he truly love you, even if he thinks he does. Don't let him destroy you.4b) And if he does, don't worry. You've done more damage to yourself than he ever could. You will rebuild faster than you thought, and when you think you're done, someone unexpected will help with the rest.
5) Get so many pairs of ear-buds. Also, look up 8tracks.com.
6) Write, goddammit. Keep a fucking journal because you and I have lost so many good poems due to lack of paper to write down the idea.
7) Remember to delete your history.
8) Learn to do your work, please. Lying is fun but so is going out with friends, plus you'll be smarter.
9) Buy so many pairs of jeans and t-shirts. The soft ones. Then get a ton of clothes that make you feel pretty and sexy. Keep your laundry hamper in your closet.
10) Scars are pretty, yes. Don't feel bad for thinking that. Try not to add more, though. They're earned, not just because you want them. That's why they're so pretty - you went through so much for them to heal over.
11) You will have so much more fun when you stop caring. I promise.
12) Not all of them will stay. That's okay. Once you're sure you're stable, if they all fade, you can add more.
13) Big dogs do not fit well in your household.
14) Politics will make you sad, and so will the news. Keep your mind clean until you are old enough to vote; then study up.
15) Don't stress so much about telling them. They already knew, anyway, and objectively one of them has more to hide than you. You'll all accept each other no matter what. Why do you think you love them so much?
16) People don't get mad when you text them after being AWOL; they miss you. It's okay.
17) Your mother loves you very much. Why do you think she yells? Incomprehension is different from hatred. Remember that. Give her a kiss on the cheek next time she laughs at your terrible puns.
18) There's no one here you want, and no one here worth you. Remember that when they don't hear you speak, when you're the leftover partner, when your silence is no longer noticed. It won't last forever. Soon you'll be one of the most outspoken in class, she'll like you even when you have no motivation, and your friend will look at you the same time you look at him when the teacher calls for partners.
You can just go ahead and complain here, if you'd like? I tend to find it beneficial to complain on my blog, so it might be the same for you? Besides, I doubt it'd bother any of us if you did or anythingc since it is your blog and all.
hello anon!thanks for the suggestion...that is usually what i do, but a few irl people stalk obsessively follow my blog, and i don't want to worry them when all i want is a little bit of sympathy (cell block tango begins playing in the background)maybe i'll make a tag for that? a tag that means "pay attention to me but don't worry about me"
hm. that's actually a good idea. thanks for inspiring it, anon!
tag will be "bitching" so if you wanna blacklist...
