#notesofananonymousnight

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I'll be honest I did NOT think you were talking about writing when you said beta and I was very concerned

ANON I AM SCREAMING THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY ENTIRE NIGHT

the post in question

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

After reading Annabeth saying Luke "always pushed himself too hard",and considering that he's the "best swordsman in 300 years"(surpassing children of Ares and Athena is a huge feat for a Hermes dude),I can't help but imagining him doing an Azula while training her lightning bending (one hair out of place! Almost is not enough!). Like,not wanting his swordfighting less than perfect(But Azula is undeniably a prodigy,and like someone else said,she works hard,but her work pays off rather quickly)

Cont. Since Azula is a natural talent,Luke would also need an inate aid for him,and that’s Roman ancestry (I won’t let go of it)). And we know that what made Azula like that was Ozai’s emotionally abusive BS. What do you think drove Luke to be that much of a perfectionist?

hey anon, thanks for being so patient with me. i’ve been working on a big project, finishing up my thesis, and binge-watching code geass lol

first, i really love the hc that Luke is a legacy of a Roman demigod. like it’s awesome and makes a lot of sense considering what we do know of Luke from both series. so i’m with ya there

i also think that his perfectionism, like Azula’s, stems from abuse as well. now it’s been a hot minute since i’ve watched a:tla, but i’m pretty sure much of the abuse Azula suffered from Ozai was largely verbal, emotional, and psychological (considering he burned and badly scarred his own son, tho, i wouldn’t put it past him to be physically abusive, but from what i remember of the show he wasn’t)

Luke’s abuse was neglect, psychological, and emotional. neglect from both Hermes and May. Hermes bc he was never fucking there, and if he was, he visited May in secret, that bastard. May bc she was psychological incapable of taking care and providing for Luke. the more i think about it, the more shocked and surprised i am that he didn’t starve to death or get sick bc May forgot to change his diaper or smth

it makes me think that her psychological state probably progressively got worse, so she was able enough to take care of him thru his baby/toddler years. regardless of what Rick knows, the fact still stands that she was neglectful, even if it wasn’t until later in Luke’s life

his abuse from May was also psychological and emotional. i mean, imagine, growing up with a mother who’s eyes turned toxic waste green, voice sounded like a swarm of bees, and spouted scary vague bullshit abt his fate? that’s traumatic for a fucking child! both psychologically and emotionally. it’s clear he loved his mother from the fact that he said he was leaving to protect her and that he’d be back for lunch. altho, he could also have just said that so he could leave. so he could hate his mother like he hates Hermes, bc she did decide to take on the Oracle, even tho she didn’t understand the risks, and even after Chiron warned her that smth was wrong, seeing as the Oracle was a rotting mummy by that point. and look, it’s not May’s fault that she didn’t know abt Hades’s curse, but like i said, the Oracle was a rotting mummy, and Chiron warned her abt unknown dangers and risks, and she still chose to do it.

anyway, suffice to say, his feelings are probably very mixed. he probably loves his mother in some way, but hates her for making such a risky decision when she had a fucking baby to take care of. Luke had to leave bc his father wasn’t there or answering his prayers. he didn’t know what had happened to make her like that, and she keeps spouting to him about some painful fate in his future. i mean can you imagine that feeling of being a lamb raised for slaughter and your godly father isn’t answering any of your prayers? trying to stop it? explaining himself why?

and even tho Hermes wasn’t there, his absence is also psychological and emotional abuse. and we see this a lot with a lot of the demigods in the series. they’re always striving for their godly parents’ approval. we see this in Percy, when he talks abt his first encounter with Poseidon. and we definitely see this in Annabeth, esp in MoA. Hermes’ neglect and absence communicates to a child who doesn’t know any better that they are unwanted and unloved. and some children will react by saying, “fuck them” while others will internalize the massage and wonder what they did wrong, as well as how they can earn that approval back (if it was there to begin with). most demigods, i’ve noticed, often react with the latter. bc on some level they love their godly parents despite their less than exemplary parenting, and despite not feeling loved by them

that abuse, that feeling of being unwanted, unloved, not enough, is probably what made him train so much. he wanted to be enough. it’s what made him want Hermes to give him a quest so badly–so he could prove to himself, but most importantly to his father, that he was capable and that he was worthy of his father’s love and attention.

which is why Hermes’s quest was such a slap in the face. retrieving a golden apple from the garden of Hesperides, as Luke says, is something the greatest hero in Greek and Roman mythology had already done. while Percy had a point, if Luke could pull it off, that meant he was as great as Hercules. but to Luke, he wasn’t proving himself to be worthy of Hermes’ love and attention. he was just proving he could complete a task that one of the greatest heroes in Greek and Roman mythology had already done

it’s so hard for me to articulate that difference rn–of being able to complete a task that someone great has done versus being compared to someone great because you’ve completed the same task, but there is a distinct, very fine, difference.

it’s not Luke’s. it’s Hercules’s. therefore, it is not proving his worth to Hermes, in Luke’s mind

which, I think, is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Luke was already angry at the gods for his mother, for leaving him in a house with his mother, for taking away a member of his found family (not doing anything to save her, a show if indifference, another lamb raised for slaughter). now this quest? not to mention, he then failed, and got a nasty scar to show for it on top of more trauma and PTSD wheeeee

so yeah, long story long, it also stems from emotional abuse. oftentimes, perfectionism stems from abuse, unfortunately. (the other is mental illness, and the last is sometimes it’s just in a person’s genes)

thanks for sending this in! and, again, for being patient with me

FEED ME SEYMOUR

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

hey ... got any ... Tori and Thalia ideas

it’s a little vague, but I imagine you mean hcs regarding Tori and Thalia’s relationship? if not, shoot me another ask. and in the meantime, bonus content!

more under the cut bc spoilers for ITPS and INAS (just in case ya know)

first, a quick tangent: tbqh, I don’t think about their relationship a whole lot. which I do feel bad about bc Thalia did do a thing that led to Tori’s death, so she did, like, kill Tori. and that’s a traumatic experience, whether or not Tori blames Thalia. but my brain often glosses over that fact and I’ve narrowed it down to two reasons

Thalia reacted instinctively to Luke’s last ditch effort to save himself, aside from surrendering and giving himself up to the gods. and Thalia didn’t know that Tori was going to push Luke out of the way, or that Thalia would end up kicking Tori off the side of the cliff. so even tho Thalia was directly responsible for killing Tori, there was no premeditation or intent, it was purely instinct

Tori was saved anyway, and she doesn’t remember hitting the rocks. sure, she certainly remembers falling, and the look in Luke’s eyes as he watched her fall, but not actually the act of dying. which, of course, is all still traumatic, but that’s the other thing. she was more focused on how it affected Luke, not necessarily that Thalia’s the one who kicked her. not to mention after she wakes up, she realizes that Luke had an out and he hadn’t taken advantage of that–then they’re thrown into Labyrinth planning and what follows soon after is Luke being possessed by Kronos. so she’s much more focused on herself still being alive and how it’s affecting Luke

/tangent

all that said, I have been cooking up a few ideas regarding their relationship for the third installment of my still unnamed PJO OC story that will take place in TOA. it’s quite juicy and I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep it once I sit down and solidify all the ideas I’ve been brainstorming since TOA was announced

but to say more would be wandering dangerously into spoiler territory

I can say a few things as I see them:

Tori doesn’t blame Thalia for her death, intellectually

emotionally, it was traumatic and she’s suppressed it. bc of this, it isn’t something she’s worked thru with Rowan, bc she doesn’t even know it’s a whole issue

it bubbles up to consciousness when the Hunters of Artemis are mentioned in general, and she feels extremely uncomfortable around both the Hunters and, especially, Thalia if they are physically present

she has a very negative opinion of them, for various reasons, but feels she has no real reason why she feels that way (sure there’s the CHB rivalry with them, but my Artemis not Rick’s who kicks out lesbians (instead of whatever the fuck the alternative is [side note: I haven’t read the second book just yet]) and treats it like that’s a good thing protects young girls, so it’s not like she’s doing anything bad to make Tori feel so negatively toward them)

and since Thalia’s usually away with the Hunters, Tori and Thalia don’t interact often or at all

Thalia doesn’t feel particularly guilty for pushing Tori off the cliff–she rationalizes that 1) Luke shouldn’t have grabbed for her spear like that, 2) Tori shouldn’t have pushed him out of the way, 3) Luke and Tori were both working for Kronos as far as she was concerned, so if Tori had died and stayed dead it wasn’t a huge loss to her, and 4) she didn’t stay dead, so her kicking Tori off the cliff is kind of moot

emotionally, obviously, killing someone (even if they come back) is traumatic, even if she doesn’t feel particularly remorseful about it. but Kronos was foiled, she watched Zoe die, had a counsel with the gods soon after, and then joined the Hunters, so there wasn’t really time to process her emotions or trauma surrounding the incident

and then she’s off with the Hunters, so it gets pushed further and further onto the back-burner until it’s out of sight, out of mind at this point

that will change in my story for TOA*, but saying any more would be

[x]

*again, I haven’t officially solidified any ideas yet, so I don’t want to mislead anyone. I would like it to be one of the more major plot points, but if it doesn’t work out in the context of the story, I may have to, unfortunately, cut it

thanks for sending this in!!

FEED MY SEYMOUR still no link bc i’m still job hunting and am still in maximum hidden mode ;_;

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Am I the only one who hates those "Luke had a hard childhood! So what,many other demigods also did,but they didn't turn evil!" argument most of times? I mean,they often forget that Luke had specific shit happening to him,Kronos was in his head for two years before PJO started. One of the only posts that I liked on those lines was one that added "those kids were amazing",or something like that. The death siblings,for example. T

hey, thanks for dropping by!

to answer your question, i’m sure there are Luke stans out there who hate hearing that

personally, i’m not one of them. it is kind of annoying, bc if someone tells me that, it means they’re missing my point

to put it more succinctly, “cool motive, still murder” is one of my fave lines to use when ppl try to excuse/justify a character’s actions/decision (”we all had bad childhoods” is a close second)

however, if someone is directing it toward me, that means they’ve missed that i’m not a [insert character] apologist. i never purposefully am

you can see that with Luke and you can see that with the TUA characters. since this is an ask abt Luke, we’ll focus on him

i read PJO when i was high school, and by then i’d been thru sum shit, so when Luke gave his Bad Guy Speech™ i knew exactly what he was feeling, why, and knew he had a point regarding the gods

but i also knew that the way he went abt effecting change was wrong. i know that he has done terrible things, and that he’s not a great person.

and i also know that his circumstances are what led to his actions. and just bc he had a shitty childhood does not justify the actions he took

i can feel and think these two things at the same time. they are not mutually exclusive. and that is smth that a lot of ppl miss/don’t understand. these two things are not mutually exclusive

just bc i’m making memes and saying i stan him doesn’t mean i can’t see his character for who he truly is. there’s a post going around talking abt how we need to end cancel culture. while it doesn’t exactly apply to this situation, the message that ppl should be allowed to enjoy “problematic” things bc of the fact that they probably know the problems it has, yet still enjoy it anyway, does apply to this situation. you can do both those things. again, they’re not mutually exclusive. there will always be smth a piece of media can do better. cancelling them isn’t going to solve the problem, it’s only going to make it worse. you need to give ppl room to learn, change, and grow.

/tangent

as for the “Luke had specific things happening to him,” well…it’s more like luck of the draw that Kronos picked him to manipulate (tho not quite lucky in a sense lol)

like i’m sure there were plenty of scorned and bitter demigods out there that Kronos could have preyed on (and he did, so he could reform!), but he chose Luke and that’s prolly completely due to chance (what Fates? don’t know them)

so you can’t put blame on Luke for turning to Kronos, when it literally could’ve been any other scorned and bitter demigod. now i know that’s definitely simplifying it A Lot bc Luke was a prophecy child and there were definitely extenuating circumstances in his childhood that other children of the gods didn’t have to face, but you get my point here

it could’ve been anyone else

Kronos chose Luke, and Luke said yes. he could’ve just as easily said no, and forced Kronos to choose someone else

idk exactly what i’m trying to say, but i hope y’all get the picture

i’m not sure what you mean by “those kids are amazing” and i think you got cut off anon, so hmu with the rest of your ask if you can. and thanks for sending this one in!

FEED ME SEYMOUR

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Hey thank you for having the balls to talk about how Luther went through trauma and abuse too

thanks dude for thanking me ^_^

i love making memes and i’m uber annoyed the fandom doesn’t understand Luther’s character, so i thought i’d combine the two

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I love to see someone else who hated the "get off my roof!" line in the PJO movies! I mean, why is Luke so kooky and weird on those movies? The writers (supposedly) didn't have budget to have Travis and Connor,so they decided to make that weird mash up with Luke.

thanks! i’m also glad that there is someone out there who hates that scene

i recently saw a post talking abt how it was underrated, actually funny scene in the pjo movies and i turned feral lmao

bc all i see it embarrassing cringe. and not in that “cringe culture” kind of way, more in the “it’s so embarrassing i want to die from secondhand embarrassment” kind of way

like i think i see what they were trying to go for--some kind of Scooby Doo-esque moment where Shaggy and Scooby ask the bad guy to stop chasing them so they can all catch their breaths and then start up the chasing again, but they rolled a critical 1 on execution bc it wasn’t funny and it Did Not fit well into the scene

the way Jake delivers the line,,, the expression on Logan’s face,,, like i just want to curl up into a ball and die bc of how awkward it is. it’s not funny!!!

there is a way to insert comedy into a serious narrative and serious fight and that was Not It

yeah, idk what was with that scene. otherwise, i feel like Luke was pretty much in-character. (tho i think of that “and Cleveland” line and just,,, more cringe) Jake just isn’t someone i can see doing comedy, even if it is comedic relief in a serious movie. his role as Adam in SPN was very serious, and so is Luke’s character. and he plays serious really well, but comedic? not so much

(the “did you just kill my brother” in SPN is only funny not bc it’s meant to be funny, if that makes sense. Michael is an angel and as the show has established, angels aren’t one to joke. the way he says it in a deadpan voice, with little to know emotional expression, and Cas’s response to it are what make the scene itself funny. Jake, as Adam possessed by Michael is not trying to be funny himself)

the only reason his role in SPN parody 2 is funny is bc 1) they addressed the fact that Adam is still in the cage lmao and 2) bc despite it not meeting the dictionary definition of parody or satire, the whole video is a joke (as in parody or satire, not in a negative “you’re such a joke” kind of way). i want to call it everything it actually isn’t, but it’s bordering parody and satire and irony--it’s sarcastic, it’s not itself meant to be funny, like the scene i talk abt above (again if that makes sense). and i feel like that fits in more with what Jake is comfortable with when it comes to acting (based on his personality and the roles he’s taken,,, tho i only know of his two big roles in SPN and PJO)

anyway, /tanget

thanks for sending this in anon!

FEED ME SEYMOUR

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Do you think Luke being born and raised in Connecticut could be important for his character? Or was it merely like Rick closed his eyes, tossed a dart at an USA map with division of states,and that's the place Luke was born? Do you think that,if he was born in another state, would there be some small change in his character? I'm not American,and overthink a lot about my favorite. Are you American?

i, unfortunately, reside in america, yes. and i guess i’d call myself american,,,

i don’t think Rick thought it abt that much–like it’s not horribly crucial that he was born in Connecticut, but i do think it is important in that it borders NY. so he probably threw a metaphorical dart in the NE region of the US to decide where Luke would be born and raised/live

regions in american tend to blur together, and i can’t see any narrative reason why it would be important for Luke to have been born and raised in Connecticut or a different state near there (like Virginia; that’s where Annabeth’s home is, right?)

of course, it also depends on the region, not to mention CJ is located on the west coast, so he probably would’ve ended up a roman demigod had he been born on the west coast. if he wasn’t, getting to CHB would have been a lot more harrowing. and would he have bumped into Thalia and Annabeth then? it’s the same with some other regions, too. like the US is p huge. had he ventured out on his own in, say, the Midwest or Deep South, i don’t think he would’ve met Thalia and Annabeth

if he hadn’t met them, well that’s not Luke anymore. this is some other unnamed demigod, who, if a satyr didn’t find him, probably died and never made it to camp

all things being held equal tho,,, meaning if he somehow found his way to near or around CHB, and still met Thalia and Annabeth, if he’d been born and raised in a different region, that would possibly change his character in small ways, but i don’t think enough that it would make a huge difference story-wise

altho, despite having gotten around the west side of the US and now the Midwest, i can tend to be a bit oblivious abt regional differences. like accents? they don’t exist to me lol regional slang? not a thing to me. i joke that i’m abt as observant as harry potter, and we all know he was oblivious af

well that’s me when it comes to regional differences. now i’m sure if i traveled to like Boston or NY, i’d hear the accent (maybe, oblivious as harry, i’m telling ya); or if i traveled to the Deep South i’d see the regional difference between west coast, Midwest, and there

but since i haven’t gotten around to there, who’s to say?

thanks for sending this in anon!! and being patient, tho i answered this earlier than i expected bc i’m Stressed™ abt my exam and feeling impulsive tonight, so here we are

FEED ME SEYMOUR

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I love what you say about age and maturity. While plenty of youngsters are capable and had to grow up early, they're still young. There's a reason for why people say "that's too much of a burden for someone that age",in many contexts. And that's a thing Riordan does right in his books,IMO. Hazel is very mature and intelligent,but comes across as a 13 yo. Luke,in his diaries,is shown to be street smart and savvy,but he does seem like a 14 yo. Percy,in TLO, seems like a teen soldier.

Percy himself is shown as powerful and clever,but he does come across as a teenager. And that’s a thing I appreciate more that I’ve seen teens that seem like adults,or the author fails to portray them as hardened by their environment.

thanks, i’m glad!

yeah, many are definitely capable of learning “adult” things, like cooking the bare minimum, cleaning house, paying taxes, etc. esp if it’s imperative to their survival

that doesn’t mean they should be treated like an adult in certain respects. i can’t like verbalize which respects right now, but i’m sure you’ll instinctively know what i mean when i say that

if we (meaning adults) shouldn’t treat young ppl as sexually mature adults, even tho that’s the way the portray themselves as, it should be the same for adult things in life, ya know?

i definitely think Riordan does keep in mind their age, and part of that may be because the first two series are written for kids/tweens. which was probably a great decision on Riordan’s part, honestly. not only did it hit his son’s demographic, considering he wrote the series for his son, but it keeps his characters age-appropriate, even tho they are going thru shit

and you can kind of see the change in toa, bc even tho it’s still written for kids, and apollo is physically 16, apollo is like, what? 4 centuries old? so it’s more mature and has darker themes while still being written for the target demographic

yeah, sometimes when ppl write for teens, it seems like they completely forgot what being a teen was like. not to mention, if they don’t interact with teens of generations after them, then they really don’t know how teens act and/or talk.

and i think it’s important to understand that kids/tweens/teens that go thru shit and act like adults will act their age when under duress or reminded of their trauma. it’s just bc their brains aren’t done developing, and they haven’t learned or been taught how to cope with all the symptoms that can come with ptsd. not only that, but as you grow up, learning abt yourself, your emotions, how you think and react to emotional and stressful situations is crucially important to your brain development and who you become, your personality

and i mention this when i can, bc it’s so important to understand what biology, medical science, and developmental psychology all agree on: the human brain is not fully developed until abt 23-25 years of age. not to mention, celeb kids are being sexualized up the wazoo, age gaps are not okay when below the ages of 15-25, and 13, 14, 15 year old girls think they need to look like sexy grown women bc our society is a shit-hole

so now more than ever it’s important to talk abt this

wow, i didn’t write an essay like i usual do!

thanks again for sending this in!

FEED ME SEYMOUR