The weather is getting warmer. Not just outside but inside my heart. Much of my life so far, whilst colourful, fascinating and enjoyable has had perhaps more than its fair share of dysfunction. I realise now this is likely true of all of us. I'm very grateful for all of it. While spending some time therapeutically with horses this week I came upon a realisation. I am not fucked up. I had most recently been experiencing symptoms of the FU-ness of reactions to past situations in a current context, but realised that I genuinely have control over how I nurture myself at this time. Amazing. We never know how much of our own mess we have worked through until another heartbreak comes along to test our mettle. I am not saying I'm as cool as the proverbial cucumber, that's far from accurate, but what I can say is that the evidence of all the work I've been doing on myself these past 10-20 years plus has stepped out of the crazy fog to meet me where I am. I'm not fucked up any more. I can choose. Maybe we are only FU if we don't recognise our ability to choose. And that takes time and practice. The horses showed me irrevocably that I have an unlimited amount of love ready to pour itself out constantly, and also that much of this wants to be poured into me. I was discussing this with a dear sister last night and we agreed that in the patterns of this world we cannot afford to bypass ourselves and pour love into a void. We need to receive love too, and if nobody else can channel enough our way it doesn't matter. We have an unlimited reservoir of love within us, and we need to give ourselves first dibs. By loving myself, I become the greatest lover of all. I don't reach out to others from a need for love, but from an overflow of it. 📷 @unbrokenself #seeonlylove #rememberlove #rumiquotes #loveyourself #notfuckedup
