As I've noted before, one of the more facinating things about comparing the later Soul Eater Anime vs the later Manga part is seeing and comparing the ways characters and themes follow similar lines, sometimes with wildly different outcomes, or quality of execution.
And one of the more interesting examples of this is how each incarnation handles Dr Franken Stein's descent into madness, and ultimately rejecting the abyss in it's own ways.
Both rely heavily on foils and contrasts, with the Anime using Stein's lovelife by contrasting his feelings for Marie Mjolnir with his deeply unhealthy attraction to Medusa, while the Manga uses the character of Justin Law to showcase why Stein ultimately rejected total madness.
Both have the same themes, but uses wildly different means to tell their story.
The anime's biggest difference here is that it actually has Stein fall to madness, while in the manga despite all temptations, and just how close he dances at the endge he never falls in.
This by it's very nature changes Stein's story to one of recovery, rather than temptation.
Because Anime Stein gives in, and the anime is not shy about illustrating just what a terrible choice doing so is.
The anime is also different in that it very much builds upon already established character and storylines in order to tell it's tale.
The anime takes the plotpoint of Crona betraying Stein to Medusa, and uses it as a springboard to further both Marie and Crona's characters as they deal with the aftermath of that choice.
This ultimately would likely not have happened if Crona had not fallen back into obeying Medusa again, and so Thematically, Crona's fate and redepmtion is tied to Stein's.
And while Crona is deeply, deeply regretful, Marie loves Stein and so deeply, deeply angry at both Crona and Medusa, while also wanting to reacue Stein.
However, this is just one side of the story, because Stein's actual fall is also rooted in the other character motivation that this direction uses to tell this tale.
And that is Medusa and her genuine, and toxic attraction to Stein.
Stein and Medusa ultimately are very similar people, both love taking things apary, both love chaos, and both are brilliant minds.
Their attraction to each others qualities are genuine... But that is all it is. Attraction. There is no love involved here, as neither actually cares about the other as a person.
These two only compliments the other in that they bring out the absolute worst aspects about the other. It is a relationship built on perverse attraction to their love for destrution and hedonism, very much a mirrior to Maka and Crona, who ends up being very important to this section of the story.
It is also a relationship built upon being the easy road. Whereas all the healthy relationships in the series are built around having to take the hard road with your loved ones, even when it hurts, medusa represents Stein just giving in to his madness, to jump off the abyss because he sees something destructive, tempting and interesting there.
Medusa additionally takes this a step into even further depravity by adding body possession into the mix, adding a third party into this mess, one withouth any capacity for concent... Which is made even worse by the fact that the person in question is a child.
Watching medusa and how much joy she takes in having twisted Stein to her will, it is crystal clear that she not only understands just how fucked up this entire thing is, but she REVELS in it.
It is frankly one of the most disturbing things in shonen anime and manga fiction period, and though thankfully it does not go all the way to the logical and disguisting endpoint, it still leaves the viewer both disguisted, disturbed and impressed just how EVIL Medusa really is.
And on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Marie Mjolnir.
Whereas Medusa represents everything wrong about Stein's personality, Marie represents the opposite.
She represents Stein's caring side, his loyalty to his side and students, the man who was brave enough to stand alone against Medusa to buy his students time.
Hers and Stein's relationahip was one of genuine love, and understanding, not simply built on nothing but attraction and shared similarities.
Quite the the opposite, Stein and Marie could not be more different... And yet they love each other anyway.
I'll also note that the Anime portrays Marie and Stein's relationship in a different light than the manga does. In the manga, the entire point is to hammer in just how unlikely that these two people could ever fall for the other, while the Anime has the same premise but focuses on something else, namely how well this fits into Soul Eater's themes of different people coming together despite all their many, many differences.
When Stein ultimately makes the choice to go back to Marie, it doesnt feel like it's an unlikely choice, but instead one feels that it's the right one. It feels natural, that these two souls that fell away from each other once more found the other.
They are different people... But so what? They both have the bravery to gice this another shot, because they care about each other.
Also, just a bit of speculation on my part, but we never actually learn how Marie lost her eye in the phsyical world, but it shows up here, when she and Stein reaffirm their bond. That augfests to me that Marie probably lost the eye in circumstances that in some way meant something deep and profound between these two, given how important it seems to Stein.
If so, and especially if her losing it was Stein's fault in the first place, and mayhaps the reason they broke up, would add even more weight to her choice to gice this another go, forgiving him for his mistakes which deeply hurt her personally.
But again, this is total speculation.
Ultimately the Anime take on Stein is one that is defined by this contrast, the parallels and mirrors of Medusa and Marie, and Stein's ultimate choices between them.
Meanwhile, the Manga's foils is not between two differen people close to Stein, but instead about Stein himself as a mirror and foil to Justin Law.
Now let me be blunt. Justin Law is a very boring villain. There is very little compelling about him directly... But there is something compelling about the contrast between him and Stein.
Justin fell to madness because despite his rigid adherence to justice, honor and being a good person, he completely, and totally rejected any and all human bonds, with the only ones he made being made by complete accident, and ultimately he, in his madness, rejected even these.
He had no one to support him or draw strength from in his time of need, and so he fell to madness.
Meanwhile, Stein, despite being far, far more naturally inclined and much closer to madness from the get go, ultimately does not jump over the edge in the Manga... And the reason for that is his relationship with Marie Mjolner.
Ultimately Stein despite all his flaws devotes himself to Marie and helping her avenge her dead ex boyfriend.
And ultimately these two end up reconnecting their love just the anime, even to the degree that they get much further along in their reknit relationship than their manga counterparts.
However there are some massive differences between the two adaptions in this regard.
While the anime plays them getting back together again as a natural thing, the Manga instead plays up just how unbelievable and insane it is that these two somehow managed to reknit their relationahip, to the point where Marie actually protests that Stein is not her boyfriend, even as she is pregnant with his child.
I do actually like this take too... But I do prefer the Anime version, in large part because we actually get to see The critical turning point between Marie and stein, while the manga has their lighting the old flame happen offscreen.
It also helps that while the thematic differences between stein and Law are solid, Law is not a particularily interesting character, nor do him and Law have a deep connection.
Medusa is, and does have that connection. She is a delightfully EVIL and TWISTED villain, and her relationship with Stein makes the climax of Stain's arc, if much less of a spectacle, a much more emotional and thematically satisfying affair.
And thats even withouth factoring in the fact that this fight's outcome is actually about Crona, Maka and Medusa. Stein's fall and recovery is technically the sideplot, buy damn if it's not a great one.
You all remember that one scene from ... and the Woman Clothed in the Sun, right?
Normally I see that you are going insane over that sentence, but let me tell you guys, how they translated “an old flame” in my country. They translated it quite literally as “burnt out flame”, making the whole sentence to sound it like she is talking about Will visiting her in the meaning of her being an old, not passionate anymore lover being left behind by Hannibal, and not about Will visiting Hannibal. However right after this sentence comes that one, so...
I would like to thank the translators from my country for translating it that way and ignoring the fact that as a whole “old flame” means “a former lover”
After 15 years, James Barnes returns to town and throws a wrench in your marriage of convenience
The fic:
Being damaged goods and all, you know you got lucky with your husband: a good man who wanted to marry you, who's taken you in and ignored your past and taken care of you. You're damn lucky things've turned out so well, and even though you don't love him, you get along pretty well in the nice house he's put you in, the comfortable life he's given you. You love him for that, at least.
But when your high school sweetheart, James, appears one day--your husband's new hire for a stableman, you run into the biggest temptation of your life. You've both changed so much in the past fifteen years, you're both damaged, but the fire is still there. God help you, it's still there.
Description: You learnt so much from your first love but the most important lesson he taught you was how to deal with heartbreak, even if it takes you six years. You were almost there, you almost made it days at a time without thinking about him…that was until he turned up in the most unexpected of places. ~ Part One
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK. He kept the ring. Why did he keep the ring?
Your thoughts were in overdrive, your anxiety levels through the roof. The room was spinning as you tried so hard to be rational, something which was never your strong point.
Why did this have to be happening now? Things were actually starting to feel normal again and you had to find this?
Fuck.
“What are you doing?”
You almost jumped completely off of the bed at the sound of his voice filling the air all of a sudden. You were so wrapped up in the thoughts racing through your head you didn’t hear him arrive home.
“I said, what are you doing?”
Lewis’ voice was cold, unemotional, the complete opposite to anything you felt right now. His face was like thunder, he wasn’t happy.
“I…was-I was just looking for a T-Shirt to wear and I found…this.” You held the box up like he hadn’t already noticed it. “Why-what is this doing here?”
“You left it here.”
Lewis leant against the doorframe just observing you. He was doing nothing to help settle your anxiety, if anything he was feeding it.
What was his problem? Was he annoyed with you for finding it?
“I know I left it here. Why have you still got it?”
“To be honest, I don’t know. I picked it up from my pillow the morning I came home to find you gone, put it in the drawer and never took it back out again.” Lewis sat down on the bed next to you, the weight adjustment made you rise higher. “I kinda got used to seeing it there, I guess.”
“Can we get rid of it, please?” You handed it to him with a screwed up face. “The sight of it is making me feel sick.”
He took it from you and placed it in his pocket, letting out an audible sigh.
“You know, at some point, what happened won’t hurt as much anymore right?”
How could he possibly know that? It had been six years of pain, six years of your heart never quite repairing. Every attempt you had made so far at ‘getting over it’ was just a futile gesture, covering the cracks with cheap band aids that would fall off with the least amount of pressure. He couldn’t possibly know for sure that it would ever stop hurting, it hadn’t so far.
“What was your news?”
The tension in the room was still ridiculously high. You hoped his news might lighten the mood.
“Don’t worry about it right now, that can wait.” He grabbed your hand to hold it in his, his thumb tenderly brushing your skin, his signature move for calming you. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach, we have plenty of time to talk later.”
“But I want to know now.”
He sighed and shook his head, his patience was wearing very thin today and what he didn’t need right now was your stubbornness.
“Can you just leave it, please?”
You wanted to know, but you knew better than to push him anymore. Something was bothering him, something was weighing heavy on his mind and you knew it was way more than the ring.
-
Lewis had let you shower alone and that was telling enough that something wasn’t right with him, the silence as you walked across the almost empty beach hand in hand cemented it. You tried to find the perfect moment to ask him again but it was never quite there.
“Still want to go home tomorrow?” Lewis broke the silence instead.
“I mean, I have to. I have work commitments. It’s not like I can stay here forever.”
Lewis paused before speaking, every word he spoke that day was well thought out, with caution of saying the wrong thing.
“Well you could, if you really wanted to.”
“Lewis, don’t start this again please. We’ve been back to-“ you stopped yourself before committing to a relationship with him. “We’ve been back in contact for a little under two months, I can’t just leave everything behind that I’ve built back home and move here for someone I have been seeing for only a few weeks.”
“You talk like I’m a stranger.”
“But you are, Lewis. We are both strangers. We are not the same kids that fell in love all those years ago. We’re adults now, adults with completely separate lives who have to try and figure out how their lives could ever gel together again.”
“I don’t have to figure anything out. I want to be with you, no one or nothing else even comes close to making me feel like you do.”
“Lewis, stop-“
“No. I’m serious.” He stopped you both in your tracks and pulled you to face him. “I love you. I can’t take back the past but I can fix your future. I know now what it takes to love you the way you deserve, let me.”
As you stared into his eyes you thought about the future, about your future being with Lewis and it wasn’t a bad thought. If you were completely honest, a future with Lewis in Monaco, regular beach walks, a life of pure luxury, felt like bliss. You weren't quite sure you were brave enough to take that risk, though.
“Okay.”
“Okay as in you want to make this work or okay as in stop talking Lewis?” He had the sweetest smile of anticipation on his face.
“Okay as in I will go home tomorrow as planned, and we will talk about how we’re going to make ‘Us’ work.”
“You said ‘Us’.” He pulled you in to kiss him, his hands placed firmly on your hips. “We’re going to work, I promise.”
“I hope so.” You mumbled in between kisses.
“Can I please take you home now? I’ve been wanting to fuck you all morning.” Lewis took your hand and placed it on his hardened bulge.
“What if I make you wait and instead we spend the day doing exactly what we used to do, seeing as it’s my last day here and all?”
He let out a little groan at the thought of having to wait.
“If I remember correctly this was exactly how we started the day, every day.”
“It was. But our day has already started, so you will have to wait until nighttime.”
“You are such a tease, baby. I don’t think I can wait.”
You palmed his bulge a little.
“If you wait, I will make it worth your while.” He knew exactly what you meant by the smirk on your face. “Now let’s go and have some fun!”
“I mean I was trying to…”
-
You both filled your day with as many activities as possible. As you walked around, hand in hand, admiring the architecture of the cathedral it really felt like you two were in love once again. It felt like you were two lovers away on their very first trip abroad, filling each moment of their day with sight seeing and fucking.
Lewis made you stop outside of every tourist destination you visited, he’d ask a random stranger to take a picture of you both, advising you that he needed to fill up his photo album, aptly titled with your name, so he could look at you even when you were away. He never once minded that it usually meant he’d have to then take a picture with the stranger, they were almost always a fan of his. It didn’t matter, it meant he had a picture with his girl outside of some of Monaco’s most beautiful venues, a photo with a fan was a fine sacrifice for that.
You spent a few hours in the casino, Lewis had decided you were his lucky charm and weirdly enough it seemed to work. He made you kiss his fist full of dice before he threw them, beating the house more times than not, much to their annoyance.
Your excited laughter drowned out the rest of the casino, you knew all eyes were on you both but neither one of you cared. It was always so easy to lose yourself in the moment with Lewis, that hadn’t changed that at all. You could be in a room full of people yet all you would see would be each other.
-
“This has been the best day I’ve had in such a long time.”
Lewis purred in your ear as you both stood in a quiet secluded spot overlooking the harbour as the sunset in the distance. His arms were wrapped around you from behind, his hands locked into yours at your stomach, your head rested back against his chest as you both savoured the moment of peace together.
The scenery was truly beautiful, the electricity that sparked between the both of you was even more so.
“Me too.”
It honestly was, you couldn’t remember a time that felt more peaceful than this moment right here.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
He whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on the crook of your neck.
“Lewis, we spoke about this already.”
“I know but I still don’t want you to leave me. I want you by my side at all times, everywhere I go.” Soft wet kisses danced on the neck of your skin between every word. “Don’t argue, please. Let me tell you.”
He spun you around to face him, his eyes darted around your face before settling to meet your own gaze.
“I will never stop telling you how I feel. I made that mistake once, I took you for granted and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
His lips brushed over yours, his hands pulled your body into his before he hiked your thighs over his arms, placing you on the wall to rest.
You kissed, your lips in sync, your tongues fighting a battle for dominance, for what felt like a very long time. It felt like you were teenagers again, sneaking out of your respective houses to meet up at the local park just to kiss in secret. This time there were no parents to tell you to be home at a certain time, there was no one to stop either of you from doing exactly what you wanted and right now, this was it.
“Let’s head home, I have a surprise for you.”
As you walked back to the apartment, hand in hand, the heat at your core hoped his surprise was the thing he was the best at.
-
The apartment was lit with candles from the entrance, down the hallway and into the living room, leading out to the balcony where a table was laid with a single rose and a candle in the middle. The air was filled with the aroma of your favourite food, Thai. Lewis took your hand and led you through the candle lit pathway and out onto the balcony.
“Lewis, this is so beautiful. Thank you, when did you do all of this?”
He moved your seat out for you to sit down, like a true gentleman, before taking a seat himself opposite you.
“I organised it whilst we were out. I had to make your last night here one to remember.” He poured you both a glass of Champagne.
“The whole day has just been perfect, thank you.” You sipped on the glass, holding eye contact with him for a moment. “I remember we did this once before, for our anniversary. We spent the whole night on this balcony, making plans for our future, naming our kids-“
“I remember, you laid in my arms as we looked up at the stars and planned our whole lives.”
The shared smile between you both felt like an understanding, a truce of sorts.
“I was going to wait until the end of the night to say this but now seems like the right time.”
You watched as he took a huge gulp of his Champagne before reaching inside his pocket.
“I’ve loved you forever, I will love you forever. I never want to be without you ever again and I will do everything in my power to make you stay with me.”
He had you completely transfixed with his words, you didn’t notice what he was doing at first. The moment you did, your stomach dropped.
“Marry me, please.” He was down on one knee, flashing the ring he had proposed with years ago. “Let me be your husband.”
You froze, not a single thought or word could be processed. You stared blankly at him, completely unaware that he needed you to respond.
“Please?” The desperation was so apparent in his voice now, he all but begged you to answer.
All you could do was shake your head, ever so slightly, no.
Lewis sighed and stood up. He went to get back in his seat but something registered in his brain that made him turn back to you.
“Do you know what? I am tired. I am tired of constantly apologising to you for one stupid mistake I made so long ago. I can’t do this anymore. I have tried so hard to make you remember the thousands of good memories we have together but your focus is always on the one bad.” He placed the box on the table in front of you. “I am done trying. Go home tomorrow and I’ll no longer burden you with the thought of me. Keep this as a souvenir.”
The front door of the apartment slammed shut, waking you from your haze with a jolt.
Fuck.
-
You sat with your feet up on the chair he left you in, your arms wrapped around your legs as you stared into the distance. You sat for hours, listening for any creak of the door, a sign that he had come home. He never did. You didn’t sleep at all before morning broke over the horizon, the sounds of the birds singing their sweet song signified it was home time.
It took no time at all to pack up your suitcase, as you looked around the apartment one last time from the doorway you felt an immense amount of sadness. You loved it, every single part of it signified your relationship of both the past and the present with your soul mate. You knew he was your soul mate, whether you could be with him or not, that fact would never change.
You checked your phone in the taxi, despite having it with you the whole night you hoped maybe you hadn’t noticed a missed call or a message, there was nothing. Your thumb hovered over his name in your contacts a few times, you were so tempted to call him, to say what? You didn’t know but you just wanted to hear his voice, it was the only thing that ever gave you comfort in your moments of sadness and despite the fact it was completely selfish of you, having broken his heart hours before, you needed him.
A part of you hoped he would be waiting for you at the airport, to stop you from leaving with a big loving gesture, but he wasn’t. There was no call, no message, no him and it ate you up inside.
“Mrs Hamilton…oh I’m sorry that’s not your name I just assumed-“ the check in clerk stumbled as they read who had booked your flight, an easy mistake to make but one that rattled you.
“What did you call me?“
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ass-“
“Call me it again. Please.”
“Mrs Hamilton.”
The realisation hit you like a tonne of bricks. Being referred to as ‘Mrs Hamilton’ had been one of your goals as a teenager as you stood at your window watching him begin his evening jog, you knew the exact time he would set off. You’d stand there timing his run, strategically placed behind your curtain so he wouldn’t spot you as you watched him return, all hot and sweaty. Lewis still never knew how many nights you’d get yourself off to the 30 second long imagery of him double over, trying to catch his breath.
“Sorry, I’ve got to go.” You left your ticket on the check in desk before hurrying out of the airport, your suitcase dragging along behind you.
-
You called him repeatedly and his phone went to voicemail every single time. Lewis always had his phone charged and in his hand, how was it possible that his phone would be off?
“Lewis, where are you? I need to see you.” Your voice was a hurried mess, he would think something had happened to you when he heard it but you had no time to worry about that now.
Monaco always felt so small when you lived there, like a village of sorts, where everyone knew everyone, but it had never felt bigger as you went from hotel to hotel, restaurant to restaurant trying to find Lewis.
He was nowhere, his phone was still going to voicemail and your messages were undelivered. You debated contacting someone in his world, maybe another driver, maybe someone in the team but thought better of it. No one had heard from you in years, besides, you still were not quite sure what you were hoping to achieve when you eventually tracked Lewis down, you just knew you needed to see him.
-
Four hours you searched, walking through the streets of Monte Carlo, dragging your suitcase behind you, your phone clutched permanently in your hand, not wanting to miss any kind of notification from him. His social media was dormant, no ‘Good Morning World’ Instagram story. He was quite literally M.I.A and you couldn’t help but worry.
You walked until you physically could not walk any further, the ache in your legs and your feet was all too much, so you hailed a taxi down to take you back to the apartment, figuring you could rest there for a little while before getting back to searching for him.
There was just one problem though, you had no keys. The realisation hit you as you searched your bag outside of the door. You hadn’t had keys to the apartment since you left six years ago. You slumped against the door sliding down it until you were sitting on the floor. Overcome with a mixture of emotion and exhaustion, you held your face in your hands and sobbed silent tears.
Maybe if you had been louder he would have found you sooner, but he found you nevertheless. It was hard to miss you, you fell back into the apartment and landed at his feet as he opened the door to head out.
“What the-” Lewis was puzzled, the last thing he expected to be faced with when he was heading out the door was you. “Baby, what are you doing here?”
He held your hands to pull you to your feet, he noted the smeared makeup, the mascara lines that decorated your cheeks.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” He used both thumbs to wipe away your tears as he led you into the apartment, sitting you down next to him on the sofa.
“Lewis, I’m sorry I-” You cried some more, unable to get out any of the many sentences you had practised in your head as you walked the streets in search of him. “I looked everywhere for you, where were you?”
“You did? Oh, Baby.” He pulled you into a hug, you buried your face into the crook of his neck. There was so much comfort found in his scent. “What is going on? I thought you left?”
“I was-I almost did. But at the airport, the lady called me-” You sniffed. “She called me Mrs Hamilton and I couldn’t leave you.”
You were fully aware that none of what you really wanted to say was coming out, the words that did escape made it almost impossible for Lewis to understand how you felt.
“Baby, I do not know what is going through your mind right now but I’m here.” He fell back on the sofa, pulling you on top of him so he could hug you properly as he placed little soft kisses on your forehead. “You do not have to say anything, we can just lay here until you feel better.”
You rubbed your face across his chest, the warmth of his body really felt like home.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night. I will never stop apologising.”
You propped yourself up on him to kiss his lips and as if by magic, the feel of his lips against yours, made all of your thoughts clear at once.
“Marry me, Lewis.” You whispered into his mouth.
“What?” He had heard you, he just didn’t believe it.
You jumped up and ran to your suitcase, searching through it like a maniac until you found the box. You ran back over to him and took his hand.
“Marry me, please. This is-no, you are everything I want. I am so rubbish with words but I love you, you are my soulmate, you are everything to me. You have been everything to me since I first met the boy next door and that will never change.” He nudged your chin up to kiss your lips but you broke away, you weren’t finished yet. “I love you more than anything or anybody else in this entire world. I want to be Mrs Hamilton.”
You took the ring and attempted to place it on his ring finger, struggling to even get it past the first knuckle.
“It’ll never fit my finger, silly.” Lewis teased you. “Look at me.”
You stopped focusing on trying to get the ring on his finger, you looked up into his beautifully kind brown eyes.
“Yes, I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll marry you.” He took the ring off of his finger and placed it on yours, it fit perfectly. “You should wear the ring.”
Your smiles instantly mirrored each other, Lewis pulled you up from the position you knelt in front of him and you straddled his lap. Your lips met for the first time with so much weight of promise behind them. You had both just promised to be with each other forever, whilst having done this previously, this time it felt different. It was real.
You kissed for a while, a long while, so wrapped up in each other, so desperate to be as close as possible but neither one of you wanted to tarnish the moment with anything other than a kiss.
“I should tell my mum!” The excitement radiated through your voice as you reached for your phone. “This is like her dream come true!”
“Babe, before you do that I need to talk to you.” Lewis’ tone of voice really cut through the harmonious atmosphere and sent an anxious prang to your stomach. “Don’t look like that, it is nothing to worry about.”
“What is it? Tell me, please.”
“My business meeting yesterday morning was with Mercedes.”
“Well obviously, Lewis.” You were impatient, you always were when you were anxious.
“Just let me finish, please.” You could see the pain in his eyes as he thought about how he would deliver whatever news he had for you. “I told them that I’m retiring at the end of this
season.”
“You’re what?!” Your eyes almost bulged out of your head as you processed the words he said. “Why?”
“For you, silly.”
“No, absolutely not. Do not do this for me, do not do it at all!”
“Well it’s not your decision to make, and I’ve already spoken to Toto about it. It’s final, I’m retiring at the end of the season.” His voice was irritatingly calm as he spoke about ending the career he had fought so hard to have over practically his whole life.
“But why, Lewis? Why now? Why for me? I haven’t asked you to do this.”
This was a disaster, you knew he would end up resenting you forever if he did this, everyone would resent you.
“Remember I always told you I didn’t want to settle down, get married, start a family whilst racing?”
“Yes, and I completely understood that.”
“That is still the case, I do not want to do those things whilst racing, it’s too dangerous. Before, I wasn’t ready or even sure I really wanted that life, the family life. Now we are back together, I have never been more sure about anything in my whole existence. This is what I want, I want you, I want some babies with you and I want a happy life. Racing has been everything to me for so long but it is far too much of a risk for what my heart now desires.”
“We can wait a few years, Lewis. You are still in your prime.”
“I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to start our life together as soon as possible, if I could leave now I absolutely would without a second thought.”
“This is so overwhelming. We’re engaged, you’re retiring…are we crazy? This is happening so fast.”
“I am crazy, every weekend when I step in that car I am crazy but this? This is the most sane thing I have ever done.”
You finally relaxed a little again, placing your head into the gap between his arm and his chest as he held you, both of you staring at the ceiling, running through your many thoughts.
“Oh god.” You groaned.
“What now?”
“I’m going to be the Yoko Ono of the Formula One world.”
Lewis chuckled before kissing you on your forehead once again.
“You are so silly. Do you really think people aren’t going to love you? Baby, there are still fan pages dedicated to you, to our relationship. Just wait until I post you on Instagram, we might just break the internet.”
“Let’s do it!”
“What, now?”
“Yes, why wait? Let’s tell the world right now. This is the perfect time, no one can get to us, we are here in our apartment in Monaco with no real plans for the next week. Let’s tell everyone now.”
“You said ‘Our apartment’” Lewis cooed.
And so the world found out about your reunion, your engagement and Lewis’ retirement all within one Instagram post. The picture was of you both as you laid on the sofa, Lewis with the biggest smile on his face, his eyes crinkling confirming his happiness, you placing a kiss on his cheek with your arm wrapped tightly around his chest.
‘I used to think I was placed on Earth to be the world’s greatest Formula One driver, turns out I was placed on this Earth to be her husband. This woman right here will be my wife soon, the mother to our children in the future and the sole reason for my eternal happiness. I love her and I know you will all love her too. Whilst I will no longer be a racing driver, I will never leave. I have so much purpose to fulfil, but this time I get to do it with the strongest woman beside me.’
