A few words about addiction as we are faced with the news that a celebrity who has brought many of us joy has entered treatment.
Relapse is a part of recovery.
I’ll say it again.
Relapse is a part of recovery.
Relapse is not failure - moral or otherwise - on the part of the person who struggles with addiction.
The Stages of Change Model (also known as the Transtheoretical Model, Prochaska & DiClemente) was developed through research on those trying to quit smoking. It is used in Motivational Interviewing, which is an intervention for those wanting to make a behavioral change, especially around substance use. And, unlike 12 step programs, it has research to support its efficacy.
12 step programs punish relapse by making a person begin counting their clean time from the start. 12 step programs don’t value what was learned as a result of the time spent clean and from the relapse itself. 12 step programs work for many folks but don’t work for lots of folks as well. The how’s and why’s of 12 step programs’ efficacy (and for whom and when) is unknown because no research has been done on them.
What we do know from the research about those who are trying to quit smoking cigarettes is that the more times a person has tried to quit before, the MORE likely they will be to be successful in their next attempt. Why? Because we learn. We learn what works. And we learn what doesn’t work. Because relapse is a part of change.
But the more we as a society treat relapse as a failure, the more we push away those who have relapsed, the more we feed their embarassment, guilt, and shame. The harder we make it to come back from a relapse, to continue to move through those stages of change.
This is not to say relapse isn’t painful and scary. But we cannot learn to walk unless we are willing to stumble and fall. And we cannot persist in making positive change if we see a slip, a lapse, as a failure.
I’m guessing that none of us know John personally and so you can’t pass on these sentiments (and please don’t, please give him privacy right now. He doesn’t need advice or encouragement from some random fan, no matter how well-intentioned). But we all know someone who has struggled to change a behavior (I’m willing to guess that you, dear reader, have struggled to change a habit, behavior, what-have-you).
So for you, for your loved ones, for your well-being as you worry about someone who has brought you joy, remember relapse is a part of the stages of change. It is not failure.
Please feel free to reblog.