hello
It’s been a year
I’m probably never going to post again so as a final goodbye - as promised, please see below every scrap of half-written fic/idea that never made it to paper for one of us is lying.
love you all very much and I’m very grateful for the community that was built here - hope these snippets give you some joy.
lots of love
<333
cooper and the gang going to an all you can eat and cooper horrifying them with the amount he puts away while kris is just like yep normal (“Wha’?” Cooper mumbles through his latest bite. Kris laughs and throws a napkin at him, which flutters uselessly across the table before dropping short. “That’s disgusting,” he says. “Don’t eat with your mouth full.” Cooper grins unrepentantly the best he can with almost a whole sushi roll in his mouth. Kris groans but he looks near on impossibly fond.) (“Should we get dessert?” Addy posits, eyeing off Cooper warily. “Sure,” he says, enthusiastically. Bronwyn shakes her head at my side, amazed. Luis taps at the menu. “The cake here is really good. Kris, you in?” Kris wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “You don’t like cake?” Luis asks, eyebrows raised. Kris shifts awkwardly. “I don’t like American cake,” he qualifies. Nate gives him a look. “The fuck is ‘American cake’?” He laughs. “It’s just…you guys use a lot of sugar. Like, a lot. It’s too much. I don’t like it.” Addy shakes her head in disgust. “You don’t like cake!” “American cake!” he argues back, as if it matters.)
———
(maeve + luis)
“Are you being honest?”
He smiles, swirling the glass around in his fingers for a moment. “Well, that depends.”
“How could it possibly depend?” I ask, incredulous.
He glances at me over the champagne flute. “It depends on whether you prefer a comforting lie or an uncomfortable truth.”
There’s a brief moment of tense silence where his dark eyes glisten at me before I’m scoffing and tossing my hair over my shoulder. “I hope you know that that’s easily the most pretentious thing you’ve ever said.”
He snorts the champagne back into the glass.
“Oh, classy,” I mock.
—-
(Luis & Addy & Coop friendship fic)
Luis trying to name all the MLB teams off the top of his head
Addy: “Do you know all the teams off the top of your head, Coop?”
Coop: “Yeah, I—Yeah.”
“I love how easily you said that. Like it’s obvious.”
“It’s easily half of my life. I’m surprised Luis knows as many as he does. He’s football scum after all.”
“Oi!”
“He only started following MLB properly like, five years ago.”
——-
(Luis & Coop & Kris)
Luis stares at Kris for a long moment. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.” He turns to me, bewildered. “I can’t tell if he’s joking.”
“He’s joking,” I reassure him.
——-
(Addy, famous Cooper AU!)
“Did you know Cooper is engaged?”
“Of course I did.”
“Who is he engaged to?”
Addy widens her eyes, and speaks slowly, as if the reporter is an idiot. “His fiancé?”
“And who is his fiancé?”
“The person he’s engaged to?”
———
(Maeve & Cooper)
“Are you really critiquing my relationship choices right now? At least I didn’t get myself caught in the middle of a national sex scandal.”
“…that’s fair enough, really.”
—-
(Maeve & Kris)
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure,” Kris says leaning back his seat. “But if you do, you should know that anything you say to me, I will tell Cooper. I’m so sorry, I can’t help it. It’s a compulsion.”
I laugh. “That’s okay.”
——-
(Kris & Coop)
“Just pass it here, please?” Kris asks.
Cooper throws it across the room, and it speeds toward Kris with an insane amount of spin. He frantically throws his hands up and manages to catch it, the force propelling him back a bit.
“Jesus Christ!” he exclaims, and the same time Cooper brings his hand to his mouth in shock.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to throw it that hard.”
——-
(Luis & Cooper)
cooper: “Luis, I need some food, a coke, and a list of people who killed their fathers and got away with it, I’m looking for heroes here!”
——
(Bayview Crew)
“What’s the one thing your ex could have done to save the relationship?” Maeve asks.
We’re silent for a second while we contemplate, before Cooper breaks in with “Been a man?” causing Kris to snort into his coffee cup.
——
(Kris & Bronwyn)
“Compul-ooh,” Kris cuts himself off. “I can’t say that word. Compulsor-comp-puls-errr,” he stops, looking over at me. “How do you say that?”
He points to the word, compulsorily. I blink. I open my mouth to say it but I’m not really sure either. “Um.”
“Compulsorily,” Bronwyn provides promptly.
Kris tilts his head. He’s a little red. “Sorry, could you say it again, slowly? I can’t-“ He’s bright red now. He always gets embarrassed when he can’t pronounce a word in English, which is insane to me. I can’t pronounce words in English.
Bronwyn says it again, slowly. Then she shrugs. “It’s a hard word.”
—-
(Cooper)
Cooper opens the fridge door, and then reels back at the lack of resistance. “Jesus, fuck, Christ, sorry,” he says immediately, when he’s regained his footing. “I opened that with a lot of aggression, fuck me.”
——
(B4 text chain - Cooper & Addy)
“biggest injustice i’ve ever faced”
“didnt u literally get hate crimed”
“😭😭😭 i want you to know this is the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever said to me”
——
(Bayview Crew)
“How many languages do you speak?” Addy asks, tearing up the corner of her napkin.
Kris grins. “That depends, how loosely are we defining speak?”
“You have to be able to hold a conversation in it, but you’re allowed to make mistakes.”
Kris laughs. “Oh, well if that’s the bar! Probably four?”
“Four?” I repeat, incredulously. “What?”
“Yes,” he says, like it’s not a big deal. “Obviously English and German.”
“Yeah,” I encourage.
“And my grandparents on my mom’s side are Dutch, so we spoke Dutch with them. It’s quite similar to German, anyway.”
Addy’s eyebrows are raising higher on her forehead with every language mentioned.
“Then I learnt Spanish in school.” Kris shrugs.
“You’re terrifying,” Addy tells him, sincerely. “Can you speak them all equally?”
“Oh, god no.” Kris laughs. “German is my first language, and I still think mostly in German, and if I had a choice, I would speak in German all the time. Then I’m probably next best in English, since I have to speak it all the time. Then Dutch because I learnt it so young. Spanish,” he hesitates. “I’m okay, but it’s definitely my worst.”
“Can I speak to you in Spanish?” Maeve asks, enthusiastically.
Kris nods, laughing. “Sure, if you go slow.”
——
(Addy & Cooper & Kris)
I blink at him. “Do you believe in astrology?”
He doesn’t really strike me as the type.
And apparently I’m correct, as he snorts and shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “But I do believe in annoying Cooper, and nothing gets to him faster.”
Cooper sinks down in front of us, fixing Kris with an annoyed look. “Stars can’t decide your personality, that’s such bullshit.”
Kris glances sideways at me, as if to say “told you so”, and smiles patronisingly are Cooper, patting his hand. “It’s okay, baby. You just don’t understand.”
—-
(Coop & Luis)
“I have to dress up as something,” Cooper sighs. “I have no ideas.”
“You could dress up as a disappointment to your dad. You’ve already got all the stuff you’d need,” Luis suggests, stuffing a forkful into his mouth.
Kris splutters out his drink, trying to hold back his laugh.
“Brutal,” Addy says.
Cooper laughs. “Fuck me, that’s rough.”
Luis smiles. “Too far?”
Cooper shrugs. “I mean I laughed, so that probably makes it alright.”
—-
(Kris & Addy)
“i’m not sure,” kris says, “i’ve never had to beg for a guy’s attention.”
“What are you giving that boy, cocaine? How is he so addicted to you? I sent Keely a nude and she responded ‘Nice’ and that was IT. No follow up!” She shakes her head. “Cooper is ready to throw himself into lava to get another one.”
—-
(Coop & Lucas)
Cooper puts his hand out against Lucas’ forehead, holding him out at enough distance that he can’t reach Cooper’s body. I have to stifle a laugh because it’s so easy for him, and Lucas can’t push back against a single arm with all of his body weight.
—-
(Kris x Coop)
“I could go for a kiss though,” Cooper says, leaning in.
Kris leans backward and fixes him with a look. “And I could go for a boyfriend who loves and appreciates me, but apparently we don’t always get what we want,” he says, a cheeky smile on his face.
——
(Kris x Coop)
“When it’s the only thing someone talks about, you learn it pretty quickly.”
Cooper slaps his arm across Kris’s chest indignantly as everyone begins to laugh. “It’s not the only thing I talk about!”
He frowns at Cooper, trying not to laugh. “It might be.”
——
(Coop & Maeve)
“What are you talking about? I have plans.”
“Oh yeah?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “What are they?”
I shrug. “I was gonna rewatch an old baseball game.”
She throws her head back and groans. “You can’t do that!”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because,” she hesitates. “It’s pathetic. Just because Kris isn’t here doesn’t mean you should just sit around doing nothing.”
“Harsh, Maeve.”
“Sorry,” she says.
——
(Kris & Bronwyn (alt. universe)
“I’m sorry, Kris,” she says, leaning forward. “Are you lecturing me about helping someone cheat?”
Kris blinks, then turns his lips down as if to say ‘fair enough’. “Yes,” he says, dropping back into his chair. “Good point. I’ll shut up.”
——
(Coop)
“I’ll tell everyone you’re gay.”
Cooper’s eyes dart between his and Kris’s entwined hands and then back up to his eyes. “Oh no,” he says flatly. “Please don’t do that.”
—-
(Coop x Kris)
Kris sticks his tongue out at me playfully, the candy sitting on the tip. I don’t hesitate before plucking it off and putting it in my own mouth.
Kris’s jaw drops open in disbelief. “What the fuck?” he says, offended.
“Anyway,” I say swiftly, trying to bite back my laughter.
——
(coop x kris)
“What are you doing?” I ask, frowning.
“Shh,” Kris says, pressing a finger to his lips.
In the silence of the room, I can hear the muffled yelling next door.
“Are you listening to their fight?” I whisper and he grins at me.
“It’s entertaining,” he whispers back, as I press my own ear up against the wall.
——-
(coop x Kris)
“Well, he is a dick,” Kris says bluntly.
My startled laughter breaks through my tears. “You think?”
He shrugs, running his hand over my arm. “I don’t like people who hurt you. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”
——-
(Addy & Kris)
“To be fair,” Addy says. “As much as I hate the spelling of Kris’s name—“
“What the fuck?” Kris interrupts, offended.
“Is is objectively the correct way to spell it,” she continues, unperturbed.
——-
kris birthmark on shoulder, scar on jaw from nicking it shaving, always edited out of shoots, addy jokes they’re his “only imperfections” they are coopers favourite thing about him
kris’s family have a tradition where they compete to try and order the ugliest birthday cakes (bonus points if it’s unintentionally poorly made) it starts after his dad accidentally orders an awful cake for his mother for her birthday and they all end hp laughing so hard over the cake that it becomes a tradition every year to try and top it. the first time cooper goes to kris’s house for his birthday, kris does not share this tradition with him, so cooper (very very politely) tries to choke out some compliments about the incredibly ugly & falling apart cake that his mom has ordered, assuming that she has baked it herself. kris’s whole family dies laughing and kris has to explain it to him
———
(Addy & Cooper & Kris - social media)
“Kris did you just mute yourself to hide the fact that you’re laughing?”
There’s a brief moment of silence, then shamefully, Kris admits, “Yes.”
“What did they say?”
Kris pauses. “I don’t know?”
“What but they’re speaking German!”
“They’re speaking Dutch?”
“Same thing, right?”
“No?”
ads: what if cooper gets a mullet
kringle: that’s a nonstarter
ads: you can’t tell him what to do
kringle: with his hair? yes i absolutely can
“Okay,” Addy narrates, as she flicks the powerpoint on. “TV shows we would thrive in.”
“First we have Maeve in Pretty Little Liars, cause our girl would hack into the phones and find A in ten minutes flat.”
“Kris,” I expect what’s coming-some kind of medical show, but I burst out laughing when I see what she’s chosen.
“Criminal minds,” she says, then at our laughter, adds, “What? He be solving murders and shit!”
——
and finally - how my AU glitch wouldve ended
fall part one: pov: kris, addy. cooper and kris begin dating, he tells luis and addy. everything seems fine for a while, though kris becomes aware of someone following him, he tells cooper who is very uncomfortable and thinks someone is onto their secrets. kris offers that they just stay at his apartment and not see each other in public anymore which upsets cooper, and they talk about going public. addy realises that jake has not forgiven her, though he has been getting back to normal with her and overhears a very angry conversation between him and Simon about whether to continue with “plans”. Simon becomes increasingly unstable. She discusses it with Bronwyn, and after one party where Nate kisses Keely, Simon blows up at him, threatening to spill all his secrets and “make him regret everything” at school, causing Bronwyn to get involved and yell at Simon about Leah and Maeve. Simon swears he’ll get them back “one way or another”.
fall part two: pov: cooper. Cooper realizes that Simon won’t stop staring at him, and tells Addy that he thinks he’s planning something, leading her to tell him about the Nate incident. He talks to Nate and finds out it was about Keely. He freaks out and Nate tells him not to worry bc even if Simon goes after him, there’s nothing that he could say bc cooper’s so perfect. in a fit of panic, he comes out to Nate, who promptly swears and promises that they’ll work out what Simon is planning to stop anything like that from happening. They get together in a little group, inviting Kris. Bronwyn says that she let Simon borrow her phone the other week, when he claimed his died. Kris tells them to report everything they know to the police. Bronwyn freaks out and says they can’t, leading her to admit that she cheated and that’s why Simon hates her. Kris says that he’s really uncomfortable and doesn’t trust Simon, and that he’ll do anything to protect Cooper so if it comes down to it, he’ll tell on Bronwyn. Nate yells at him, and he and Bronwyn have a moment until Cooper says that he’s not letting anything happen to any of them “You’re protecting my secret now, right? So I’m protecting yours.” They enlist Maeve to hack into Simon’s computer where they find out he plans to poison Addy, Kris, and Cooper, and frame Bronwyn, Nate (for supplying the drugs) and Jake for Addy’s death (who he hates for backing down from the plan) then kill himself. They go to the police, who go to arrest Simon, but he’s already dead. Cooper, Addy and Kris go home, where they find respective gifts of their favorite foods on their doorstops. They send photos to the group chat, and Bronwyn responds with a corresponding purchase from her bank account.
