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Open Arms Project - Reggae Can Help
#NEW Open Arms Project-Reggae Can Help. All proceeds from Ras Kuko's charity project (a two-riddim album) will be donated to Proactiva Open Arms. #ReggaeCanHelp @RasKuko #Emeterians #SkarraMucci #WarriorKing #LittlePepe #RasTewelde #Reggae #Charity Read the full article
This may sound superstitious but do u believe that when a glass breaks, it means bad luck?
(Answered May 30, 20:00)
Personally, I don't believe breaking a glass means bad luck.
-A.
Help! How do you stop great friendship from falling apart when one of your bffs falls for u and you don't love them back ?
(Answered May 20, 18:13)
Hi!
First of all, thank you for sending us a message, I hope we can help you.
Second of all, think of what you just write, you refered to your friendship as a "great friendship", so you guys should be okay.
Speaking from experience, when a friend tells you they fell for you, they know the friendship can turn into something else, and it could be great (like getting together) or it could be not so great (like feeling awkward everytime you two hang out or talk). It's a risk and they are taking it.
Friends falling for friends is a common thing, but so is not reciprocating those feelings. You said you don't love your friend back, and that's okay. But, have you told your friend this? Did your friend told you about falling for you? Have you guys talked about it? Because, that's actually, a great start to save your friendship. It may be awkward at first and you both have to be very careful about what you say and HOW you say it, but it will be worth it.
Remember to:
Listen carefully to your friend and try to understand them. But also, make sure to be heard as well.
Talk about how much your friendship means to you and why you don't want to lose your friend, if that's the case.
Keep in mind that your friend has feelings as well, and even if you can't reciprocate them, try to understand if your friend ask you for some time to think. If that's the case, don't jump into conclusions thinking your friend doesn't want to know anything about you ever and hates you.
Friendships are about trust, so ask your friend to talk to you with honesty. And do the same thing.
Not only you should make sure your friend doesn't feel judged for having feelings for you, but also keep in mind you are not a bad friend for not reciprocating your friend's feelings, so your friend shouldn't make you feel bad about it either.
Try to stay calmed so the words you say are actually the things you're feeling.
Think before you speak.
If you feel like one, two, three, a million of talks about this (or any subject) aren't enough, ask your friend if it could be possible to talk about it again.
"Great frienships" are strong ones, so have a little faith in you both.
If you need to talk further about it, we're always here to listen.
Best wishes,
A.
I really just want to die. End it all.
(Answered May 14, 12:48)
Hi!
First of all, thank you for messaging us.
Secondly, I have a question for you, is there a reason (or several reasons) you want to end your life?
I myself have been suicidal, and from my experience, you might feel like nobody notices you, understands you or care about you, but think about it for a minute: probably, there are people who notice something's wrong with you but they don't really know how to deal with it and the only thing they think it's right is to give you space. There are people who understand you, if you don't find them in your life (like friends and family), you came to the right place! And most importantly, there are people who care about you, we do! And we're looking forward to receive all the messages you want to send us, and absolutely, we're looking forward to help you in the best ways we can.
It was posted in this blog an entry about feeling suicidal, and one of the steps of coping with suicidal thoughts was to promise not to do anything right now, to wait for 24 hours before doing something drastic. I recommend you to follow this step, and if you want to, click the link to read the whole post.
I hope this message was helpful, and if you need to talk further about this, our askbox is always open.
Best wishes,
A.
It's me, EM! guess what? he texts me today and i told him that i'm going to be honest with him about something and he'll be pissed so i told him that i decided to keep my virginity and it's best if we don't meet but then we had this serious talk about an hour and he did sound a bit pissed at first but then he calmed down and said that he won't force me if i don't want to. He still want us to meet as friends (we make a promise about that) so my question is, should i meet him? i mean i wanted to.
(Answered May 11, 15:00h)
Hey EM!
If you want to, and, most importantly, if YOU trust him (about you two meeting just as friends), then GO AHEAD!
Remember to do ONLY the things you want to do (like meeting him) and that nobody can force you do things you don't want to do.
Best wishes,
A.
(cont)omg im sorry about how long this is! but yeah the only guy i couldve trusted and really liked now is going out with my best friend cos it turned out she liked him as well and now i realise had always tried to put me off getting together with him even though she knew i liked him and he liked me. but really i just feel like im going to be a virgin forever and i dont want to be but i feel like i'll never have the confidence about what to actually do or have the confidence down there :S
Hi,
First of all, don't apologize for your message being "long", okay? We're always here to listen.
Moving on... I'm a 17 year old virgin (who hasn't kissed anyone), so I think I understand what are you talking about...
I will tell you what I think about this whole thing:
I think it's okay not to like our bodies from head to toe and 24/7, why? Because we are humans, and our bodies are constantly changing. You're not going to look the same way in 5 years, so if you get to accept and love yourself now, you will have to re-accept yourself when the first wrinkles start to appear in your face or hands. And everything about you will change: how you see life, how you love, how you are loved, how is your body, how good you hear or see. Changing is good. It is natural.
So, you are not particularly fond of your body "down there" now? OH well, guess what? That's okay! So you let go the opportunity of dating your friend? That's okay! This doesn't mean you will never be in a relationship or that every person who sees you naked is going to run away from you. Remember that change is always happening.
You say you don't see yourself having sex, have you thought that maybe you're not ready to have sex? I think that wanting to have sex =/= being ready to have sex. Which is okay, too, because everybody's ready at different times and there's no hurry. You also said that you wouldn't know what to do if a relationship reaches the stage where sex is on the cards; let me tell you what I think: when a relationship reaches that point you CAN talk about it with your partner, because you are as much as part of the couple as is your significant other, so having sex isn't just about ONE person wanting to have sex (in that case, that's why masturbation exists), is about ALL of the people involved wanting to have sex.
You also mention you don't want guys making fun of you for the way you look "down there". Ugh, let me tell you that there's no two vaginas that look exactly the same nor two penises or genitalia in general (of course, without photoshop and all that crap). And, from my really personal point of view, that's what makes sexuality amazing! What feels good for you might not feel as good for me because our bodies are different, and what's great about sex are those differences. Why? Because you can use sex to be intimate with someone, getting to know what that person looks like, feels like, tastes like, smells like... and your brain does a lot of amazing chemical things, so it feels GREAT. Do you think it would be the same if all the bodies from all the people in this world looked the same? Felt the same? OF COURSE NOT! Sex would totally lack the magic... even undressing your partner would seem boring and not sexy at all because you would know EXACTLY what to expect. Seriously think about it for a minute.
So, time for a little recap:
Everything changes (including your body and HOW you see it)
You can always learn to know, accept and love yourself
Wanting to have sex =/= being ready to have sex
"Losing" the oportunity to be in a relationship with your friend isn't the end of your romantic and/or sexual life because (see point one): everything changes
Being insecure about our body doesn't mean we ACTUALLY have something wrong (plus, see point two)
Don't say you will be virgin "forever" because you're already closing the doors. If you don't want to be a virgin forever, you won't be a virgin forever; because you will find, when you're ready, the oportunity to not be virgin anymore
When you are in a relationship, you get to decide whether you want sex or not and talk about it with your significant other, and they will have to listen and respect you
There's nothing wrong with being a 18 year old virgin. There's no deadline to lose your virginity
You are a kick-ass person for sending us a message! Here, have a link to a Laci Green's video about labias! (With a bunch of links in the description).
I hope this was helpful. And if you need to talk further about it, our ask box is always open.
Best wishes,
Ale.
I think it's best if I don't meet him(?) cause he always have his ways to get what he wants and he definitely knows my weaknesses. 70% of the time he gets pissed if i said no and 30% of it, he will be sulking which is so not cute. I think I've already have the answer to my own question and thanks to you for helping me to figure it out!! appreciate it a lot! -EM
EM,
I'm so glad to hear you've found out what to do. Never forget all the right answers are inside you, maybe you just needed to ask the right questions.
Keep up with the great job of living, and if you get stuck in the way, our ask box is always open, okay?
Best wishes,
Ale.
yeah you're right~ maybe i want to do it cause HE wants to do it and he is the guy who can't accept 'no' which means he always gets what he wants. last year,he asked for a bj & i refused then he got pissed and acts like a baby all the way (it was so annoying,believe me!) that day he didn't get what he want & hooray for me! he is a douche at times but how should i tell him that i don't want to meet him when he insists to and can't accept the rejection?-EM
EM,
It’s great you stayed true to yourself when he wanted a bj, congratulations! Now think, what did you do back then? What was successful and what wasn’t? Did you explained why you didn’t want to give him a bj? Did he ever make you feel uncomfortable? Was he hurtful towards you? Try to think about it (and about other times he HAD to accept your “no”), think about what did you say or do. How did he react. Try to remember the things you did right and the things that didn’t work. Maybe this could help you through talking to him about not wanting to have sex.
Keep in mind some things:
Feelings are meant to be felt (and shared), not used as threats or weapons to try to convince you to have sex (‘If you loved me, you would do it.’)
Your virginity is yours and yours only. He has decided what HE wants to do with HIS, so YOU can decide what to do with YOURS. Your body = your rules.
Whatever has happened between you two in the past DOESN’T determine what you can/will/want to do in the future.
And TALK to him about your feelings and wishes. Will he listen? I don’t know, I hope so.
And now, I’m going to tell you a really personal opinion, which, of course, you can ignore: if he’s “a douche at times”, is he really worth your time? Is keeping him in your life worth it? Remember you deserve great things, and you deserve love and comprehension. (And you deserve to be able to say ‘no’ and feel comfortable, not anxious about how will you say it or how he will take it).
I hope everything works out for you, dear EM, and of course, if you need to talk further about it, our ask box is always open.
Best wishes,
Ale.
