#opera shitpost

[opera-shitpost]

Haven't posted here in a while, but just had to jump on the bandwagon while the tea is still hot.

[beckmessering]

why are singer biographies generally like this:

[soprano] has wanted to be an opera singer since kindergarten. at age 3, she has already seen the complete works of verdi. at 11, she created her own piano version of the ring. after finishing school, she went to conservatory and immediately won every prize. she bludgeoned to competition to d**th to become an ensemble member at [world-famous opera house] at 22, and now enjoys a sensational career world-wide.

[baritone/bass] initially studied physics and then sociology and then zoology. he never sung a single note until he was 23 and then sang in a local choir very badly for 10 years. he began his vocal education after completing his certification as a car mechanic. he is now an mainstay at the worlds most prestigious opera venues.

[…and they’re both incredibly good artists.]

[themoomoorn]

I'm about 100 years too late for this, but here's the first 10 from my A, B, and C Team mons for my main Z-A run.

Timothee Chalamet would hate the theme I have going.

The queen of this Trainer's Pokémon, Mimí, is her very first, and an absolute icon. She has asthma, which she has trained into submission by beating its raw hide into a corner.

Rodolfo loves to read the news, books, and poetry with his Trainer, and also has a fondness for small, innocent-looking Pokémon. Can be a bit jealous, but overall very kind.

Don Giovanni has either tried or succeeded in seducing/flirting with everything remotely female, along with a single isolated incident involving Rodolfo. He is unfortunately as strong as he is arrogant.

He may have a funny name and doesn't quite fit in, but that doesn't stop him from becoming a fighter worthy of the big leagues! No excuses from this fanboy!

Tosca loves music so much that she can hum a basic whole note diatonic scale, something very difficult for most Pokémon to achieve. She is considered to be especially beautiful by her species' standards. She is mated to a Gallade named Cavaradossi. Scarpia hounds her relentlessly, though - thank goodness for Moonblast.

He acts as the "enforcer" among the Trainer's Pokémon, making sure everyone behaves themselves. Unfortunately, he is prone to power highs, although the Trainet has the final word. Obsessed with Tosca, and has an odd fondness for feet.

An absolutely vicious Gyarados who conquered Wild Zone 3 with a vengeance, she despises and will unalive any male Pokémon who dares to cross her. Her favorite method of execution is going for her opponent's head. Calaf the Emboar is her favorite victim. She is besties with Carmen and the Night Queen (see below).

Despite her species' reputation and her alpha size, she is actually quite shy and docile outside of battle. She will occasionally "haunt" churches and other religious houses, and only because she loves the art and iconography.

One bad mama who loves screaming from hills and rooftops, especially at night. While she won't go against her Trainer's orders, she secretly hopes to overthrow Mimí as the "queen" of her Trainer's Pokémon family someday. Besties with Turandot and Carmen.

A strong, stout, trustworthy 'mon with the countenance of a king, he appears to have been the victim of a cuckoldery in the past, and thus tends to keep to himself. The younger 'mons seem to look up to him for advice.

[derring-do]

there are five types of operatic tenors:

guy who wants to play cavaradossi until he dies

guy who's just biding his time until he can play tristan

guy who's just biding his time until he can play vere

bel canto guy™️

haute-contre who is playing a strapping hero this week and then, six months from now, second zephyr

[monotonous-minutia]

*Nicklausse texting his boyfriend to see when he's arriving at the party* what's your ETA Hoffmann

[maimoncat]

@girlruggiero I guess we know where she went after the whole island fiasco

[starbuckscommitmentissues]

Opera/ Frasier hot take: Frasier and Lilith are Sarastro and the Queen of the Night (does that make Freddy Pamina?)

[operacascadia]

That well-known operatic polyamorous relationship, Orfeo/Ed/Euridice.