Queerplatonic Riddler x Reader fanfic
Disclaimers:
I am not a good writer. I am simply making this because I am an aroace who loves the Riddler and and desperate for fanfiction that isn't romantic or sexual and I want it to exist in the world.
This is a bit out of character because I am simply not smart enough to write a genius and I am also not very good at riddles.
Some of it is very contrived, in particular the "worldbuilding" had to be crammed into fitting a pattern for reasons, so it is very janky.
Allos are allowed to interact but PLEASE BE MINDFUL THAT THIS ISN'T FOR YOU.
Also I'm English so there may be a couple of covert language differences if you're American (eg: saw a post where apparently in the US "quite" means very whereas here it's much less intense than that)
Rating: Probably teen
Warnings: Swearing (S and F word), whump (hurt reader), violence and injury, implied ableism, near-death experiences, robberies and hostage situations (not very dangerous)
Reader insert info: Oriented aroace, quoiromantic, autistic (hyperfixating on Riddler)
Word count: 5022
Please don't give me loads of criticism I'm not releasing this to improve at writing I'm releasing this because there's no representation.
You sit in your room, reading the Gotham Gazette. A small smile appears on your face; the news keeps talking about the new crime spree, courtesy of the Riddler. Youâre lying on your green bedcovers, kicking your feet and giggling. It is quite sad that his latest bank robberies are going to severely affect the economy, but⊠look at him. He looks so happy in the CCTV footage. His smile is the most precious thing youâve ever seen. You love the newspaper, as long as you donât read the articles. Thereâs a lot of speculation about his mental state, and, while you do agree that his mental state is probably not great, some of the speculation⊠it wouldnât feel out of place on an Autism Speaks advert. You use permanent marker and doodle question marks to hide the more offensive articles. With everything thatâs left, you cut it out, glaring at the scissors that are leaving jagged edges even though it is probably just a skill issue. You use Blu Tack to stick it onto the board with all of the other articles and pictures, and pick up those which fell off. Five crimes so far. You scan the articles. The names of the locations⊠there must be something⊠Classy and Elegant, a store for wedding clothes, with lots of money⊠House-Dealing Special Princesses, the estate agents for posh people⊠River Bank Tower, a tower that was a historic location for money laundering and was converted into a tourist attraction⊠Worshipping Mr Batman, a Batman fan club with a large following, as well as founders who got very rich⊠and Rose Petal Association, a very wealthy gardenersâ club. The letters⊠they feel⊠familiarâŠ
You quickly open Wikipedia. Hands shaking â you donât know if itâs from nerves or excitement â you search for Elgarâs Enigma Variations. Your eyes widen. Classy and Elegant â C.A.E! House-Dealing Special Princesses â H.D.S-P! R.B.T! W.M.B! R.P.A! His crimes are all after Elgarâs Enigma variations! Youâre stimming, at having solved this riddle. But where will he strike next? The next piece⊠YsobelâŠ
You open Google Maps. This isnât simple initials, the piece is named after a full name⊠You search around, trying to find something that fits YsobelâŠ
Itâs the next day. As usual, it is raining. Youâre carrying a green umbrella, and hoping that, if he does show up, he wonât realise that you carved the handle into the shape of a question mark. Anxiety fills you â the establishment which should be the next target, is very⊠suspicious. Why So Bell, a supposed bell manufacturer which everybody knows is really a front for one of the Joker gangsâ hideouts. You glance around, nervously. There are legitimate shops next door, it should be safe, it should be safeâŠ
Youâre hiding in a bush, shaking. It hurts, there are probably lots of bugs, but⊠you canât just loiter in the open next to a Joker-affiliated operation, but⊠you have to see the Riddlerâs next crime. Your umbrella is hidden with you in the bush. Youâre getting uncomfortably wet. You donât think your glasses will ever recover from this experience. Half an hour passes, and you watch as people come and go from the buildings. An obvious gang member leaves Why So Bell. You are shaking in the bush as she walks towards you. Does she see you? Sheâs coming closer. Closer. Closer.
She yanks you out by the tip of your umbrella. You look up at her sheepishly, trembling. She responds by punching you in the face.
You wake up, and your heart leaps as you see your favourite colour, green. Your heart is then filled with terror. The green isnât from your many pictures of the Riddler, the green is from a massive vat of acid, and youâre dangling right over it. âWho the fuck dâyou work for?!â the gang member asks. âN-N-NO-ONE! IâM N-NOT A GANG MEMBER! PLEASE! TH-THEREâS BEEN A TERRIBLE MISUNDERSTANDING!!â you squeak, terrified. The gang members â three of them â laugh at you. âWhy were you hiding in that bush?!â a Joker goon shouts at you, as you feel yourself being lowered towards the acid, âYouâre a spy, arenât ya?!â âPLEASE! PLEASE! I W-WASNâT SPYING! PLEASE! I W-WAS⊠I WAS JUST HIDING IN THE BUSH, W-W-WAITING FOR SOMEONE!!â âYer lying!â
Your vision is being consumed by green, and not in the usual Riddler hyperfixation way, but in the way that you are about to die. You are whimpering, trying desperately to stammer out an explanation, but there is no way to explain anything in a way that does not make you look like an alloromantic stalkerâŠ
Suddenly, the power cuts out. You scream, thinking that this the end. The Joker goons are shouting, confused. There are sounds of a scuffle, and one of their panicked yelling is cut short. The other two are fighting something. âB-Batman?â you shriek, terrified. Every time the Riddler goes to Arkham, he seems to come back worse. If Batman is here, he will surely arrest the Riddler and send him to Arkham yet again. The sounds of the scuffle stop. You wait, hyperventilating. This is very bad, as you are starting to breathe in the fumes of the acid. Itâs rather funny that you solved the riddle, and now Batman came here to save you but will surely arrest the Riddler. You canât help but laugh at the fact that you solved it for Batman, itâs so funny, heâs going to rot in Arkham! Ha! Youâre being lifted up, taken away from the green, just like how your hopes of ever seeing the silly green man have gone away! Now youâre being picked up! Itâs funny, Batmanâs arms seem nowhere near as muscular as they should be! Isnât it funny that youâre still in the dark, the Dark Knight hasnât turned the light on, because dark! Ha! Get it? âHa⊠Iâve already done the work, Batman!â you laugh. âDonât compare me to that pathetic man,â your saviour replies. Itâs hilarious, youâre such an idiot, youâre stupid! Youâre a fool! Youâre just as pathetic as Batman! What even is a Bat Man meant to be, anyway? And now, this man is holding you! From what you can see, the glow of the acid is turning his outfit green! Oh, whatâs that silly symbol on his outfit?! Haha! The little question marks in your brain, and now thereâs a big one on this manâs spandex! Hahaha! Youâre an idiot! An idiot who didnât realise you finally got to meet your hero! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He thinks youâre so stupid! He can hear you mumbling about how stupid you are, youâre really not helping things, this is so funny, heâs going to hate you! And now, everythingâs going dark like your future! Ha! Ha⊠Ha⊠HaâŠâŠâŠâŠ..
Youâre in a hospital bed. Next to you is your umbrella. âYouâre awake,â the nurse says, looking at you with concern. âWh⊠what happened..?â âSomeone found a note leading to you. You were passed out⊠Joker chemicalsâŠâ Your eyes widen. âJ-Joker?! Is⊠are there gonna be lasting effects?!â âYou might be more prone to fits of laughter, but thatâs all.â
In the evening, youâre released from the hospital. You walk home, holding your umbrella. You feel an irregularity on the handle, and carefully take your finger away from it. Your heart leaps; there, on the handle⊠a small question mark, engraved into the wood. You stand there for a little while, shaking, your mouth open in what could be a smile. What could this mean?
You return home, giggling. You walked past Troyte Bank on the way, Troyte being the next piece in the Enigma variations. There also seems to be a pattern to the timing of the robberies â the next is going to be at some point between 1 and 1:30. Youâre shaking. You could go to the bank at 1. You⊠you could see him⊠you could be in the bank while itâs being robbed⊠a bank robbery would be very scary, but you could see him! Being an innocent bystander in one of the Riddlerâs very own crimes⊠the thought makes you giddy with excitement. Youâre giggling again; the exposure to the fumes of the Joker chemical has evidently given you this new habit. You sound like a teenage girl talking with friends about a cute boy. Your laughter turns more nervous. What will people think when they hear your giggling? Theyâll think youâre weirdâŠ
They already do, thoughâŠ
Itâs 1PM. You step into the bank from the rain of Gotham, clutching your umbrella, biting your lip to stop yourself from giggling. You loiter near the side, doing your best to not look suspicious, waiting for him⊠After three minutes, the door opens, and five goons holding machine guns enter the building, along with him. The Riddler, wearing his iconic green spandex, with the purple belt, and the large black question mark on the front. There are little question marks in lines down the sides of the arms and legs. Heâs wearing his mask and gloves, of matching shades of purple. The spandex⊠doesnât leave much to the imagination. You can tell that he is quite muscular, although not nearly as muscular as people renowned for strength, such as Batman. âIâm tough and elastic, but you have left! O! What am I? A robbery!â he exclaims, gleefully. You canât help but smile at his wide grin. He twirls his cane as the gunmen usher everyone in the bank to the side. The gunmen tell everyone to kneel, and you kneel down, clutching your umbrella. An old man grunts from having to kneel. The Riddler looks at the group. âTell you what. Anyone who can answer any riddles will be allowed to stand up!â he says, taking out some cards from within his belt and giving them to one of his goons, whispering instructions for the order they get distributed in. He and two of the goons walk into the vault, and are presumably taking the loot, while one of the goons points his gun at the bank staff, one points his gun at the group, and the last one is handing out the riddles. You receive your card with the riddle on it. You read the riddle: What can be gentle as the wind, or as all-consuming as fire, as strong as a mountain, as beautiful as a sapphire? âIs it love?â you ask shyly, before he has even finished handing out the riddles. He walks over to you, and reads the riddle. After a little pause, he grunts and nods, and walks off. You start to stand up, and glance at the old man next to you who is struggling. âThe answerâs water,â you murmur in his ear. He rereads the riddle, and then gives his answer to the goon, who has now finished handing out the riddles. He is allowed to stand, and you wait for the goons to glance away, then give another person an answer. âMy, my, youâre very good at solving other peoplesâ riddles, arenât you?â a soft voice says in your ear. You squeak. Itâs him. You can feel yourself trembling nervously, heâs so close, he has a smirk on his face. The Riddler gives you a wink, and moves away. He leaves with the goons and the loot he has stolen.
That night, you go home, shaking. Youâre filled with emotions, and theyâre scaring you. You⊠you think you might⊠love him⊠youâre not sure what kind of attraction you feel⊠and itâs scary. He means a lot to you, and you want him to know how you feel, but you donât even really know how you feel. You go and print out the page for Oriented Aroace on the LGBTQIA Wiki. You get out a pen and paper, and start making a diagram, with some bars, each corresponding to a different type of attraction, the main ones you can think of. For the bar about sexual attraction, you can easily put NO in capital letters. For sensual attraction, you fill it quite high. You pause, and decide to write definitions for the types of attraction. You reach romantic attraction, and hesitate. What is romantic attraction? Romance is entirely a social construct⊠how does one define it? After a minute of trying to think, you just fill it with question marks and print out the wiki page for quoiromantic. You start writing: âI donât know what romantic attraction is meant to feel like. I donât feel it usually, but you make me feel something Iâve never felt before, and I canât tell if itâs a cross between hyperfixation and alterous attraction, or if this is what romance feels like.â You glare at the paper. You genuinely canât tell if itâs you finally feeling romantic attraction for one person, or if itâs internalised amatonormativity and youâre just hyperfixating and have tertiary attractions. All you know is⊠that you love himâŠ
The next day â another rainy one - is here. Youâre loitering inside Without Nines, a casino, when he comes in, with several gunmen. There are also two women, dressed in spandex with question marks â Query and Echo. The Riddler is wearing a very dapper green suit with black question marks, along with a purple and blue waistcoat with question mark shapes. His light green tie is embroidered with purple question marks, and he wears a green bowler hat with a purple ribbon and a black question mark, the colours matching the rest of his outfit. His shirt is black, and he wears purple gloves and his purple mask. A little smile plays upon his face as everyone in the casino immediately panics, at his mercy. Guards immediately try to fight him, but the gunmen fire some warning shots. âAh ah ah! Iâm going to take a hostage! And if you donât let me take the money, youâll find yourselves riddled with bullets!â he says, smiling smugly. Your heart leaps as he starts walking straight towards you. You let out a little squeak as he hooks his cane around your arm, and pulls you towards him. Youâre shaking, and do a little giggle, nervous. This is it. Heâs noticed you. Heâs taken you hostage. And all you can do is giggle like a lunatic. The Riddler is giggling slightly, as he unhooks his cane from your arm, and puts his arm around your shoulders, pointing the cane under your throat threateningly. You can feel the cold metal against your neck. With some of his goons following, he walks through the casino, holding you close to him, letting everyone know that he could kill you if they donât let him rob the place. And yet, he gives you a gentle squeeze, and something tells you that he isnât going to hurt you. Query and Echo force a staff member to open the vault.
He lets out a giggle as the group walk into the vault. You let out a little gasp as you see how much money there is. The Riddler chuckles. âImpressed?â he says in your ear with a low voice. He walks in front of you, and looks at your awestruck face. Youâre trembling, heâs looking at you, all you can do is stare at the money like an idiot. He giggles. âAlright, then. Looting this place might take a while, so we may as well get comfortable,â he says, a smile on his lips. The regular gunmen start taking the money, while Query and Echo stay on guard at the vaultâs entrance. The Riddler puts his hand on your shoulder and pushes down to make you sit on the floor. You let out a little giggle. He sits down, facing you, and holds his cane, resting it against your neck, presumably to establish some threat. âWell, then. Riddle me this. Why hasnât Batman caught me yet?â he asks. You squeak delightedly when he says it. He laughs a little, a laugh that makes your heart feel so light. He looks happy. âGo on. Iâve seen you three times, now. Youâve solved my riddleâŠâ he says, leaning in. âNot just anyone can do that.â You start giggling uncontrollably. You feel light. He leans back a bit, waiting for you to regain your composure. âAre you always this giggly? Is it from the Joker chemicals? Or⊠maybe⊠just maybe⊠is it only when you see me?â he asks, winking. You giggle more. âHa! Ha! Hahahahaha! Itâs J-J-Joker⊠ha! Joker chemicals! Ha ha!â you laugh. He looks at you, sympathetic, and puts a hand on your shoulder. Your giggling gets worse, and you feel yourself blushing, and he immediately pulls his hand away. He waits quietly for you to calm down, as his men continue emptying the vault. He pulls you to your feet, and whispers into your ear. âI only have two more robberies in this plan. Thatâs the⊠initial⊠ideaâŠâ he whispers. Heâs so close to you, you can feel his breath on your ear. He gives a flamboyant twirl of his cane, and holds you menacingly again, putting his cane back to your throat. âWell then, my little hostage, itâs soon time for me to set you free,â he says, giving his handsome smile. You giggle, and blush slightly. Youâre looking up at him, and he looks down at you. He lets out a little laugh. âYouâre rather adorable,â he says. You squeak, and blush much more. He giggles. âWell, Iâll give you some time to regain your composure, haha,â he says, backing away slightly. You take deep breaths, and eventually calm down. He holds you again, and the group leaves the vault. He places you back with the other civilians, and moves away, his demeanour much more menacing⊠âAlright! And, just to seal this wondrous little robbery, everyone will give me one of their valuables!â he says, laughing. He looks so happy⊠you canât help but smile⊠He takes peoplesâ necklaces as they tremble, a pair of earrings, some fancy brooches⊠he reaches you, and smiles. You already know what he wants, and you shyly hold the umbrella. Your eyes meet as he wraps his hand around the handle, your grip lingering. He takes it from you, giggling, and continues taking other peoplesâ valuables.
The next day, youâre walking through the streets of Gotham, giggling excitedly. Today is going to be the day you come out to him. You spent yesterday evening getting ready to tell him, getting ready to speak. Youâve simplified your explanation considerably. You canât help but giggle at the fact that youâre going to see him, and tell him everything⊠maybe⊠maybe he was impressed by your ability to predict his crimes when even Batman couldnât⊠âHey, whatâs that dumb smile on your face for?!â a menacing voice says. A gang of thugs surrounds you. You go pale. âWell? Why you giggling? You think youâre the Joker or some shit?!â he shouts. You look around, desperate for help. Citizens are walking away, only glancing for some spectacle. A furtive woman in a green coat opens her phone and points it at you â is she going to record this?! âUh, heehee, I, I d-donât wanna f-fight⊠itâs⊠ha⊠I inhaled some Joker fumes⊠p-please⊠haha⊠donât h-hurt meâŠâ âYou wonât be smiling when weâre done with you!â a thug says, elbowing you in the abdomen and sending you staggering back. Tears are streaming down your face. Youâre missing the Riddlerâs robbery, surely heâll think youâre an idiot, heâs going to hate you- youâre punched in the face, and sobbing. They keep punching you, keep kicking you, keep kicking you. Whack. Whack. Whack. It hurts. You feebly try to hold up your arms to block their blows, but they easily shatter your defences. Youâre bleeding now. It hurts so much. They kick your legs, and you crash down to the ground, crying. They get their weapons out⊠one of them has a hammer⊠You can hear the crunch of your bones as your legs shatter. You can only whimper as one gets out her knife, and stabs you in the abdomen. Youâre screaming. âPLEASE STOP! I D-D-DIDNâT DO ANYTHING TO YOU!!â you cry as they keep hitting you. Your vision goes black. This is it, youâre going to die⊠âLEAVE THEM ALONE!â a voice shouts. They stop, tense. Your head is bleeding, you canât think straight, but⊠it sounds⊠familiar⊠Your vision is lit up with blue, as something fires electricity at the thugs. They shriek, and run away, leaving you. There are murmurs among the onlookers. You can feel hands slide underneath your body, as your saviour picks you up. Heâs walking quickly. âHey⊠hey⊠please⊠please talk to meâŠâ he says. Your vision is starting to return, and you can see the Riddler, tears streaming down his face. âSorryâŠâ you say weakly. âItâs alright, itâs alright, none of this is your fault, please donât apologise for anything, you will be safe,â he says, voice cracking. âI w-was gonna be there⊠I⊠I promise Iâm not stupidâŠâ âOh⊠oh, baby⊠I already know youâre not stupid. Shh⊠everythingâs going to be okayâŠâ he says, holding you close as he walks. He is thinking. âAlright⊠you need me on the fairway, you need me for luck, but when you have me youâre well and truly fucked, what am I?â âUh⊠uh⊠uh⊠a⊠a stroke?â you answer. He strokes your hair with his soft hands. Heâs wearing a green suit, this time with a purple shirt thatâs only buttoned 2/3 of the way, showing off his chest and collarbones. His hat is at a jaunty â no, messy â angle, and his mask is streaked with tears.
He enters a building. You canât read the sign, but you can tell the initials are E.D.U. Itâs dark, this building must be a repurposed warehouse. Itâs quiet, except for your whimpering, and his heavy breathing, and quick footsteps. He continues stroking your hair, his hands shaking. He sets you down, and rolls up your shirt, and you can hear his sharp intake of breath. âUh⊠okay⊠this looks bad⊠Iâm going to have to stitch your woundâŠâ he says. You shudder, and he picks you up. âItâs going to be okay⊠I promise.â He rushes into the bathroom, lays you into the bathtub and turns the tap on, rinsing the wound under the water. He gives your hair a pat, and starts preparing his first aid equipment, sterilising a needle and thread. He holds your hand, and cleans your wound as you whimper. He takes you out of the bathtub, and lays you down, using a towel to dry you. âListen, youâll be okay, I promise,â he says. He starts rubbing some cream around your wound, and you feel yourself going numb. He starts stitching, and youâre crying. âShh⊠shh⊠uh⊠whatâs so fragile that saying its name breaks it?â âS-s-silenceâŠâ you respond. He nods, and keeps stitching. âYouâre a smart cookie, you know?â His words make your heart leap. He keeps stitching. âI do mean it. I really do⊠Iâm almost done with the stitchesâŠâ After what feels like an eternity, he finishes, and smiles at you, taking his gloves off. âThe worst bitâs over,â he says, stroking your hair. He bandages the area. Now that the worst part is over, you start to appreciate the softness of his hands. You realise he is wearing green nail polish, with a purple question mark on each finger. He finishes bandaging you. âAll done!â he says, giving you a headpat, making you giggle. He gives you a warm smile. Your giggling dies down as the exhaustion starts to really hit you. You pass out.
When you open your eyes, youâve been tucked into a soft, green bed, covered in purple question marks. âYouâre awake!â he says, reminiscent of a puppy who just saw a friend. On top of his outfit from before, heâs wearing a knitted jumper, green with purple question marks, it looks so soft. Youâre still in pain, but you blush a little, as he reaches out with his hand, then pauses. âUm, would it be comforting if I held your hand?â Your heart leaps, and you nod, giggling. He gently takes your hand in his, and smiles softly. Itâs so soft, it distracts you from some of the sharp pain you feel all over your body. âUm⊠th-thank youâŠâ you mumble. âHey. I had to save you, youâre like a good luck charm at this point. It⊠itâs not right when youâre not there,â he says softly, stroking your hand gently. You squeak, giggling. He looks at you, a little smile on his face. âSo why do you keep following me? Is it gratitude for me saving you from Jokerâs gang? Are you trying to prove your intelligence against the smartest man in Gotham? Or maybe⊠something else?â he asks in his soft voice, winking at the end. You giggle nervously, trying to collect yourself. âI⊠I⊠heehee⊠hahaha⊠youâre⊠hahahahahaâŠâ Youâre shaking, nervous, and he can tell. He gently strokes your hand, a comforting smile on his face. âItâs okay⊠take your timeâŠâ âHa⊠ha⊠haha⊠YOUâRE MY SPECIAL INTEREST!â you blurt out. His eyes are wide, and he looks very surprised. You laugh nervously. âLike autism?â he asks, his smile widening. You nod, cursing yourself for being so blunt and probably making a fool of yourself â heâs smiling wide and crying tears of joy. His leg is bouncing. âHahahaha I need to come out hahahahaha Iâm an oriented aroace I hahahaha donât feel romantic or sexual attraction but Iâm feeling other types of attraction to you,â you say, shaking. He has a little pause of processing this, and smiles. âHey, youâre valid! So, uh, what other types of attraction do you feel?â he asks, giving a good-natured smile. âHahahaha I feel sensual attraction where I want to touch you and I feel alterous attraction which is uh itâs an emotion attraction that isnât exclusively romantic or platonic haha and maybe I feel aesthetic attraction hahahaha,â you say, trembling. He grins, and giggles. âYouâre quite the riddle, arenât you? Iâve taken quite a liking to you,â he says, his smile lighting up your world. The way his eyes light up fills your heart with joy. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze. âYouâre so precious. Seriously, youâre one of the most adorable people ever. Seeing you during my crimes⊠well, now I know how Ozzie feels about seeing birds. Youâre like⊠a little friendâŠâ You let out a squeak, and he laughs. âYouâre so cute⊠may I put my hand on your face?â he says. You nod, giggling, as he cups your head in his hands. âHow do you feel about eye contact?â he asks. âHaha! Iâm okay making eye contact with people I like!â you respond. There is a pause, as he slowly moves his eyes towards you.
âAnd⊠do you⊠like me?â he asks.
You look into his eyes. Both of you giggle. He gently strokes your hair. âIs this okay, d⊠may I call you dear?â Your heart leaps, and your mouth hangs open in disbelief. âHaha! I, ha, uh, haha itâs okay! Ha⊠uh⊠haha⊠what⊠w-whatâs⊠what⊠what are we?â you ask, blushing slightly. There is a pause, as he thinks. âYou seem to be my biggest fan, and I find you simply adorable. Iâll do anything to make you feel comfortable. Iâll look after you⊠Batman almost caught me last time, so I have plenty of free timeâŠâ âWhat⊠what happened? Wh-what did I miss?â You feel a little sting at the memory. The pain is coming back, and you can feel tears forming. He wipes the tears from your eyes. âI started the robbery⊠everything was in place, I had the plan, but⊠it didnât feel the same, without you. What takes deep hold and becomes every day, and without it the tree will fall?â âUh⊠root⊠routine?â âExactly. Seeing you, itâs become part of my routine⊠you hold a place in my heart⊠I⊠my plans, I started planning for youâŠâ You look at him, in awe. Somehow, the biggest genius ever, your hero⊠has been thinking about you. âWowâŠâ is all you can say. Youâre not even giggling anymore, youâre just repeating the word. He ruffles your hair. âWe Rogues, not many people like us. Itâs been a long time since Iâve had such a devoted fan⊠and you solved my plan faster than Batman⊠you can understand how much that means to me, right?â he says, seeming⊠nervous? The confidence is gone, he looks⊠anxious⊠like he needs reassurance. âYouâre⊠haha⊠my⊠ha-ha-heroâŠâ you say. His eyes light up, and he nods his head rapidly. âUm⊠is it alright if I give you a kiss on the forehead?â he asks. You nod, and start giggling again, as he gently puts his hand behind your head. He gives you a soft kiss on the forehead, making sure to avoid the bandage which you finally notice. Heâs so gentle, and the tender kiss is taking away the pain you feel. He lets go, and looks down, into your wide eyes. âWith skill, I am paid to save. What am I?â â⊠Protect?â He nods. âI want to protect you⊠youâre⊠youâre too precious. Iâll find the people who did this to youâŠâ he says, wrapping his arms around you, looking into your eyes to gauge your reaction. You have a tired look in your eyes, as you lean into him. âI⊠I have something for youâŠâ He reaches down, and holds your umbrella. Your crude attempt of carving the handle into a question mark shape has now been greatly polished, but most importantly, it has been covered in vibrantly-coloured question marks. âItâs⊠beautifulâŠâ âA beautiful umbrella for a beautiful mind, from an even more beautiful mind,â he says, as you relax in his arms and make a contented little humming noise. He gently strokes your hair, and you fall asleep in the Riddlerâs arms, your head buried in his chest.