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the split attraction model can be helpful for ace/aro people but its really not necessary for anyone else especially because it often creates more interalized homophobia and pressures young kids to choose microlabels. the ace/aro community's defense of the split attraction is way too intense like please examine your shit.
im aggressively anti makeup culture
long post abt gender theory
gender is a really complex topic and i think a lot of the confusion about it is because people so often say things like "gender is fake." and yeah recognizing that gender is totally arbitrary and not at all binary is important, but we also have to realize that in the society we live in it is an essential factor of personal identity and expression. the thing that really got to me for a while was if gender isnt real how are transgender people real? and the answer is that in a different society gender could easily just not be a thing because objectively its not, but we dont live in that society. the function of gender in our society is to categorize everyone into two boxes, male and female. the criteria for these boxes, in the eyes of society, include biological sex characteristics, behavior and mannerisms, appearance, social role taking, and most importantly, as is now developing, self identity. of course in real life people are not going to fit into these extremely narrow boxes. so thats where you get a spectrum of gender expressions and identities. and yes these identities are based entirely on an arbitrary cultural concept known as gender, but that doesn't make them less real. because we are immersed in this gendered society with no way to escape it, functionally gender is real, even if we know it shouldnt be. basically my theory is that being transgender is a lot less of a concrete tangible thing than it is a social role and form of identification. for whatever reason, some people dont fit into the box they are supposed to. and there are plenty of different ways to not fit into the box, whether thats your gender expression, your social role, your behavior, etc. what im saying is that being transgender is actually a decision. its not a decision to be the person who doesnt fit into the box, thats beyond our control, what you decide is what to do about it. you can decide to be a girl who "acts like a boy" or you can decide to transition to "being a boy" (having people view you as a boy). this decision is entirely based on which option will lead to personal fulfillment and happiness. there is no such thing as a real transgender person bc being trans is ultimately a choice. tl;dr: gender is fake, but in our society its real. gender is a very layered and complex form of social categorization. some people dont fit the predefined categories (not a choice) and must decide how to live in a society that demands they must fit those categories (the choice part). therefore being transgender is more of a choice than a condition, but is still just as real as it would be if it were a measurable thing. this is just my onion, as a trans person. im totally open to discussion and if you are confused about this (its very confusing) just ask me and i will do my best to explain it to you. i hope this makes sense lmao.
thinking about how so many kinks play into unhealthy relationship dynamics, like living as a sex slave or whatever is Not healthy even if its consensual. there are going to be long term emotional effects even with lighter dom/sub play. like treating your partner like shit so you can get off isnt healthy?? thats going to have consequences for your relationship and its not going to be good. there are ways to engage in bdsm play without depending on replicating abuse or real world oppression dynamics. so many people get swept up in the sex positivity movement they just stop being critical of whats actually going on.
hey do any people of color want to share their opinion on the philadelphia pride flag with the black and brown stripes?
so like everyone who is always like oh there cant be like 80 genders!!!! like what about 5 lmao. male, female, in between, neither, and fluid. in each of those categories theres a huge variety of different expressions and experiences, but i think these five labels are a good way to summarize transness in a way cis can understand.
call out
f//ishcourse used to run the instagram account ih8thestr8s (now deleted) which was dedicated to hating on straight people also he is aphobic af x x x x x and he thinks the down with cis meme is funny x x also he has a porn blog and tells everyone about it x he invaded lesbian spaces for years then came out as a trans boy x x he calls himself gay even though he still likes girls x has really bad memes x x x x x is a deathist x x
