#orochimaru headcanons

[neosaidwhoa]

they match each other's freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public

[nardo-headcanons]

Why did Konoha let Orochimaru get away?

Related: How can Orochimaru afford all that expensive lab equipment?

Konoha, as we know, harbors the strongest shinobi the ninja world has ever seen. Be it Minato, who was able to wipe out entire battalions, or Shisui, who managed to make a name for himself internationally at the age of sixteen. Apart from Hiruzen's inability to kill his own student, there just has to be another reason why they don't just invade Otogakure and finish him off, right? I've started to wonder that, too. And since I work in an evironment where a single glass coverslip costs 70 bucks, I've started to wonder how on earth Orochimaru can afford all his damn lab equipment. I'll look at the most prominent explainations and give my thoughts and my own theoy. More under the cut.

If we take fillers into account, (bear with me here) it is established that Konoha, despite its strengths, is already known for letting their rogue shinobi run free without doing much.

The notion is, the better the village treats its shinobi, the less rogue shinobi there will be. It's natural to assume that only Kirigakure, as a village with frequent rogue shinobi have an organized task force for such cases. But in the case of a shinobi with intel like Orochimaru, why on earth wouldn't they try to track him down?

Theory #1

"Orochimaru's alignment with Danzo and the root organization makes Danzo actively hinder the village from locating him, that's why they can't fight him."

Danzo having someone like Orochimaru as an ally would snowball into such a scandal, I imagine only his most brainwashed loyal soldiers would be aware of that union. I would think Danzo wants to keep it that way. Even if he is able to pull a few strings, he does not have as much impact over what missions get approved and what missions don't. I can imagine him bringing his men onto Orochimaru surveillance missions and killing other shinobi if they find relevant intel.

Theory #2

"Orochimarus hideouts are just too well hidden to be discovered."

I don't think so. His main hideout is in Otogakure, which is a small village. If several small teams are sent there to scout the area, they'd easily locate his hideouts and could find him sooner or later. Unlike Pain (reminder: he uses the rain to surveil Amegakure, where I think Akatsuki's main hideout is located), Orochimaru does not possess surveillance powers to look over the entire village. Locating him would be easier than locating Akatsuki.

Which brings me to my theory.

"Konoha is keeping Orochimaru alive because he's still useful."

Most, or dare I say all of biological research involves genes, or rather, a genetic sequence. Have you ever wondered how these sequences are stored? The answer is databanks. Huge databanks. For reference, the genomic raw data of one (1) human is 200 gigabytes large[1]. For reference, that's more storage than the entire Naruto shippuden series needs, fillers included[2]. If we add onto that a variant list with all possible mutations that people have, we can add 125 megabytes per person.

That amount of data requires quite some infrastructure and genetic know-how. If only there was someone with vast amounts of space, genetic know-how and heaps of genetic data to maintain such a databank... Oh wait.

I can imagine Orochimaru hosting such a databank where researches from all over the world can gain access to all the genetic data they need - against a small monthly fee. And the agreement to enter all data they generate to the databank for other researchers to use. Independent researchers, small research teams, schools, universities and other institutions, they all rely on that service for that research. Sure, some competitors do exist, but Orochimaru's databank is probably the most expansive, and more importantly, the most accessable. For a man who built his state on offering opportunities to the most unfortunate (Dosu, Kimimaro, Kabuto), you can bet he knows how crucial access to information is. He probably even has different subscriptions tiers for students, independent researchers and institutions so everyone can afford that service. He knows most people can't do as high level research as he can because they're bound by things like scientific ethics, so he doesn't see a problem sharing his research data freely. And the research organizations? They look the other way. They know the unethical roots of that research, but in a fast paced, profit oriented world, it's all they have. Just like in our world.

Apart from just data-bank hosting, I also think Orochimaru probably also runs a kind of service laboratory where private individuals and companies alike can send in tissue/blood/hair/saliva samples for sequencing. Non-essential and non-vital sequencing work is outsourced to his laboratory. It's costly, but still cheaper than running your own genetic sequencer. Orochimaru is able to negate the costs by adding the sequences to his own databank. People essentially PAY for their data to be added to his databank. (Which is exactly what companies like 23andme, ancestry and others are doing, btw.)

If the service is free, you're the product.

_____________________________________________________

Tags: @abattre , @the-real-sasuke-uchiha , @shisuis-left-nipple , @konaluvsguyswglasses , @hanaverse-blog , @suki91 , @spookyphilosophertaco , @thechildbesuffering , @thottyimagines

[in-love-with-the-snake-sannin]

I imagine that if Orochimaru were to have a child —an infant— he would meticulously document and catalogue every sound and expression. For once he would write data down not with the desire to study and control, but out of fear of forgetting.

🤍💜🖤

It happened during a change of arms. Orochimaru had just taken the baby from her, hands practiced now, movement slow and steady. He was murmuring something—nonsense, really. Not language. Just rhythm.

And then—

The baby responded with a little soft noise. It was barely a vowel —a small sigh that curled up at the edges like a question and a laugh all at once.

Orochimaru stopped breathing. He looked down at the child in his arms and asked, barely above a whisper and more rhetorical than anything else: “Was that…intentional?”

The baby hiccuped once, then sighed again. It was a sound full of nothing but life.

Later, when the child had fallen asleep in her arms, Orochimaru sat by the lamplight with a scroll in front of him —clean, unmarked and unsealed. This wasn’t for research. It was for memory. He didn’t label it as an experiment. He didn’t include chakra readings or sterile clinical data. He simply wrote:

Entry One: Vocalization.

Time: 1312, mid-afternoon walk

Sound: “ahhh” (open vowel, lifted end)

Pitch: soft, sustained

Emotional context: calm; possibly curious

Response from subject: blinking, stilling, then repeated sigh

Personal note: My name has been screamed, whispered, cursed. This is the first time I’ve heard a sound that didn’t want anything from me.

__________

Entry Two: Vocalization, half-laugh

Time: 1946, evening feeding

Sound: “hha—ah” (gasp-chirp rhythm)

Pitch: short burst, caught breath

Expression: mouth curled briefly, not yet smiling, brows lifted

Context: ticklish response to cloth near neck

Note: Involuntary joy is a fascinating contradiction. It has no purpose. And yet it changes everything it touches.

__________

Entry Three: Quizzical, unsettled expression

Time: 0713, post morning feeding

Expression: one eye squinted, lower lip pulled forward, slight chin tremble

Response trigger: sunlight filtering in at angle

Note: Not discomfort. Just adjustment. The world, newly perceived, is not always welcomed—but it is not feared. I was wrong to believe fear is innate.

__________

The first smile wasn’t loud. It wasn’t even fully formed.

The baby lay between them on the bed, one hand curled around her finger, the other twitching like a dream was running through it. Orochimaru reached over, brushing a fingertip along the baby’s brow, and said something so low he didn’t even realize it was audible: “I’ve seen thousands of expressions. Most of them meant nothing...”

And then, like it had heard him, the infant smiled. Not gas. Not a reflex. It was a fleeting thing — uneven, only one corner of the mouth curving slightly — but unmistakably real.

He froze, and for a long moment he said nothing. It was as though the room itself had held still to witness it.

“You can write it down if you want,” she whispered.

“I can’t,” he replied, voice low. “Not without ruining it.”

The scroll remained untouched on the nightstand for a long time afterward. And when he finally picked up the brush again, he wrote slowly…deliberately.

Entry Four: Expression (True Smile)

Time: 2232, late evening

Trigger: unknown vocal stimulus (possibly paternal tone)

Duration: 2.4 seconds

Symmetry: partial; left corner lifted, upper lip stretched

Note: My hands have pulled open more faces than I can remember… but I’ve never earned a smile. Not like this.

[iambilliejeanok]

How they react to seeing reader cry.

Fandoms: Naruto( Akatsuki) || Jujustu Kaisen|| Record of Ragnarok

Featured: Buddha, Itachi, Orochimaru, Geto, Kisame

FLUFF OVERLOAD

🩷Buddha 🩷

He absolutely CANNOT afford to have you shedding tears and not solve whatever problem you have immediately.

Whenever he sees those tears running down your cheeks he lovingly lifts up your chin with his fingers, wiping them away with his thumb before pressing a few kisses to your lips. “What’s the matter?”, he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. He really hates seeing you like this.

And he has many times before and will always be ready to fight the other gods for you. (Even though I genuinely don’t know what kind of mess you’re getting into to be stirring up gods and stuff) But since he is a god, which you don’t like to take advantage of, you try to keep things to yourself to not feel bad about the extra leg and a half you have in life. Since he loves you so much though, he will get to the bottom of this issue himself if it really comes down to it. If you’re struggling at work, with a project, family and friends or you’re not feeling well in general, he’s sure to immediately attend to those issues. But that’s only after he cuddles you to pieces.

He does show major signs of being clingy, so when your feeling upset he’s wrapped around you all day like a sweater, until he’s convinced that you’re well enough for him to leave you on your own and go sort out those issues. He’s like a personal hero. A very clingy one.

🩷Uchiha Itachi 🩷

He’s not as clingy as Buddha is, but when he does see you feeling upset enough to start crying, he will baby you to death. He turns into a koala and will literally wrap his arms around you and never let go. Not until he’s 100% certain you’re okay. And even then, he might spend some time being extra close to you just to make himself feel better.

He’s very susceptible to depression and when he sees you crying, it triggers a deep somberness inside of him that he can’t explain, and he starts overthinking, growing terribly paranoid about you getting hurt or being in any other kind of situation that would make you cry. He doesn’t tears, nor does he like the sound of crying, especially coming from you. So now you experience a season of clingy, overprotective, extra soft Itachi.

Even if you’re only upset in the moment and soon recover and get over whatever mad you cry, he still can’t help but linger around you for a week or two, taking many days off of work or finishing earlier than usual. He bathes with you, cooks each of your meals throughout the day, helps you get ready for bed and tucks you in at night. He will even treat you to a story while scratching your back before bed, and holds you tighter than usual, throughout the entire night.

You know he has some kind of a problem since his behavior is definitely not normal, but if it helps him in any way, you’ll always allow him to treat you like and you also try to reciprocate the treatment to help him snap out of it sooner rather than later.

🩷Orochimaru 🩷

He’s usually the reason as to why you cry to begin with, which at first, he pretends he doesn’t care, immediately turning around to walk away from you so he doesn’t have to watch you break down. But over time, he does take an interest in your feelings. He just feels guilty sometimes and doesn’t know how to approach you.

He knows you love to cuddle though, so he will try to use that during times like this and invite you to come and spend time with him while he works. He’ll rub your back and hold you close to him as he walks around his home and might even suggest going for walks around the large base hand in hand. He went as far as nurturing a garden with his own hands for you two to walk through whenever he upset you like this.

He doesn’t make you cry on purpose. It’s never his intention to begin with, but it happens and when it does, he kind of hates himself for a while. But he’ll never mention it and hides his guilt quite well. He loves it when you lay on his chest sometimes and he can rub your back, and slowly feel you begin to calm down.

Sometimes the poor man gets so frustrated over the sight of tears flooding your eyes, he’ll gently smoosh you into his chest and wrap his arms around you and just hold you, petting your head and rubbing your back while he tries to hush you. It’s only when it gets to this point that he’ll mumble and apology while he’s hugging you. He doesn’t mind standing with you like this until you finally calm down.

🩷Geto Suguru 🩷

He sees you crying and you’re surprised to see a warm smile plastered on his face. “Oh babe, it’s okay”, he chuckles, pulling you close against him to hug you. He’s so good at making the situation seem less dire than it actually is and prefers to distract you from your problems than talk about them.

He will address whatever cause those tears to begin with at later stage, but tries to focus on getting you passed your balling. Sometimes he’ll pick you up and rub your back while you wrap your limps around him and cry into his shoulder. He coos at you and baby talks you while he rocks you in his arms.

After endless kisses against your forehead while he cradles you in his arms, the moment he feels like your breakdown is over, he’ll tickle you. He tickles you until you’re breathless with laughter and have long forgotten to cry. You can only run away from him, and you try your best to wriggle out of his hold, and then he’s after you and the chase builds up adrenaline inside of you that totally distracts you from whatever made you cry.

You end up having to play fight him until there’s a winner, which he freely gives over to you. Once’s it’s been established that you’ve won, he’ll reward you with taking you out to your favorite place and doesn’t mind stopping to get some popsicles with you. He’s a total sucker for you when he tries to make you feel better and will even let you ride his dragon with him, the two of you flying over the nearby ocean, laying on your backs ontop of rainbow dragon, enjoying the wind brushing against your skin while you suck on your popsicle.

It’s during peaceful moments like this that he’ll finally ask you why you were so upset and now you can tell him without feeling too depressed about it.

🩷 Kisame 🩷

He’s not good with tears. He doesn’t know what to do whenever you cry and will quietly separate himself from you when he sees you getting emotional. It’s never with negative intentions, it’s just very awkward for him. What does he say? What should he do? He’s never really seen an example of how to approach the situation.

I mean at least he understands that you’re clearly having a hard time, so he will try and get as many chores out of the way as possible and will work extra hard to ensure that you don’t have to do a single thing around the house. He does grow very quiet though and won’t say much when he does find himself within your vicinity.

If you ask him to shower with you or do anything for you, he will of course. And he heavily relies on instruction during this time or else he’ll just excuse himself. If you’re having an episode and he notices you’re crying almost everyday, he becomes a bit scarce and when he’s away from you he’s constantly stressed out. He really doesn’t know what to do. He’ll humbly ask another member of the org for advice when it gets that bad, and will only come home at night to tidy up the entire house to make sure you’re chore-less the next day.

It’s only when you vent to him with tears in your eyes about why he’s avoiding you does the thought come to him like a lightbulb that he should probably spend more time holding you. He’s trying his best though I mean his traumatizing past is all he got sometimes. But he kind of likes it when you cling to him and your crying goes from making him nervous, to making him feel needed and protective.

[clownsecret]

i bet orochimaru is the type to go for days without sleeping when they get really into the science, whether it just be finding something so interesting that they don't want to leave it to go sleep or so close to a breakthrough that they just want to power through it

i bet in oto half of suigetsu's job is to be like, "okay everyone the boss has been awake for five days straight. you know what we have to do"

[or0ch1maru]

I want orochi to give me monstrous back shots ong

18+ MINORS DNI, nothing but pure smut

No because just imagine it

•your face is shoved into the mattress beneath you while he pounds into you relentlessly

•with each deep thrust he hits your g-spot over and over again. Constant orgasms washing over you until you’re nothing but a drooling and blabbering mess

•the grip he has on your hips is tight, and you know you’ll have bruises in those spots by morning, not that you care. You LIVE for Orochimaru to mark you up. No matter how or where

•anyway

•orochimaru knows you’re about to cum again, and he wants to be a smart ass about it. His pace slows until he’s giving you nothing but one deep thrust per minute, making you get even closer to your climax, but refusing to give it to you

•tears are falling from your eyes, soaking the bed underneath you. Your moans have turned into begs and pleas as you cry for him

•Orochimaru smirks down at you, watching as you become undone, the way your cunt clenches around his cock like you’re trying to suck him in deeper, and the way you throw your hips back as you try to relieve yourself

•you gasp when you feel his hand grip your hair tightly, pulling you up against his chest

• “just look how pathetic you’re being, so fucking needy that you fuck yourself on my cock like a bitch in heat” he purrs in your ear before letting go. Resulting in you dropping down onto your face again.

•before you even have time to think(even though he’s already managed to fuck you stupid) his pace picks back up, fucking your pussy so deeply and roughly that your poor cunt can’t even clench around him

•he notices when you bring your hand down to play with your neglected clit and he smacks it away. He wraps an arm around your waist as his fingers draw circles over your puffy and needy nub.

•with orochimaru hitting all your sweet spots, your noises get louder as you squirt all over him, soaking the bed sheets, your legs, and his crotch.

•and knowing orochimaru, he’s not gonna stop until you’re overstimulated, but yet again, maybe not

(Fuck, this request made me horny. Damn I loved this one😘hope you do too babe)

[valtiels-darkness]

Sorry (Read as: Most certainly NOT sorry): For HCing Orochimaru and his clan as the reason vampire myths and/or certain Yōkai myths exist in the Naruto universe.

[indigosuvi]

Sleeping Headcanons - Part 2

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 176 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Fics | Part 1

Featuring: Orochimaru, Zetsu, Sasori, Itachi, and Obito/Tobi

Orochimaru

Rarely sleeps, when he does he sleeps fully clothed and away from his s/o.

Zetsu

Both white and black sleep naked, black away from s/o. White sleeps cuddling s/o.

Sasori

Sleeps fully clothed. Unless he's hot, then he may take his shirt off. He sleeps with an arm around you.

Itachi

Sometimes shirtless, sometimes fully clothed. He sleeps fully clothed because it's cold. Then it's hot, so he takes his shirt off. Will cuddle s/o.

Obito/Tobi

He sleeps shirtless, naked, or fully clothed. Most times shirtless. Cuddling s/o or s/o on top of him.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

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